As a man who was once in your position - I offer the following:
1. With my wife there was a progression from accepting clitoral vibes - to vibes that could be used for penetration - then to non-vibrating dildos. After experiencing the benefits - my wife is very enthusiastic about using them.
2. We switch - I always use the dildos and other toys to give my wife from 1-3 orgasms before I go for a climax. This way, how long I last is of little consequence - and it's often the case that she has another orgasm while I'm having mine. There is a book written about this technique. "She Comes First" link
. They use to sell the book on EF - but I can't find it now - this is an Amazon link.
Just as an example - my wife had Thanksgiving week off and we went wild. She had 16 orgasms in 5 days
- compared to just 4 for me. I just consider it the payoff for women giving birth and dealing with a life time of periods.
3. I have found with age PM is no longer a problem. In fact reduced sensitivity now makes orgasms for me a hit-or-miss proposition. Enjoy what you have - and let her go first.