OOOOO, I have a thing for Bad Boys. Real Bad Boys, not the Hollywood type.
My Man was a terror when he was younger. He's a rugged, nasty, (sexually) tough calloused man who says what he is thinking, without....thinking. He'll often break things while attempting to "fix" them, because he's so aggressive. Too much stuff in a drawer to close it? Don't move stuff around or clean the drawer, BANG on it until it closes. In fact his motto seems to be "If it doesn't fit, bang on it." (However, he has learned when to be somewhat gentle. I never
would have even tried anal sex with him if he hadn't learned that there is a time for gentleness and taking one's time. As I said, they mature somewhat. But, don't expect radical change from a Bad Boy.)
I've always been attracted to Bad Boys. Of course, women like me really shouldn't complain when our Bad Boys don't change when we finally snag them. Once a crude rude sex machine, always a crude rude sex machine. Don't expect Hallmark sentiments from a Bad Boy, or expect him to suddenly stop his ways, whether that be drinking, smoking, getting high or even cheating, if he did it before you dated him. Luckily, My Man is not a cheater, and I knew that before we got terribly serious. But, don't marry a Bad Boy and then complain that he drinks too much at parties or flirts with girls or goes out with the Boys and comes home worse for wear, or says what's on his mind.
You marry or engage in a long term relationship with a tough guy, be prepared for the fact that he will stay that way. You can't change people, so don't fall for a tough guy and then expect Alan Alda after you take you vows or move in together. His personality is what you fell for in the first place, he isn't going to change to suit anybody.
My Man is a GOOD MAN, but a Bad Boy. I made sure he was able and willing to support a family, that he was not abusive to me, that he was willing and able to work hard and that he was happy to not only make me happy in bed, but sometimes even share the occasional emotion with me. Yeah, I've seen him cry, but I've never gotten a card when it wasn't a holiday (and he grumbles about that.) He does occasionally buy me flowers "for no reason" and cook dinner, but he yells a lot and stomps around like a spoiled two year old if he gets angry. He is also brutally honest. For some reason, a few days ago, we were talking about how our voices sound. I told him his deep voice was a turn on. (He said he hates the way his voice sounds recorded.) I asked him (Hell I ASKED) what my voice sounded like to him and he said, "P'Gell, it's really kind of irritating and nasally. Often, it drive me crazy, especially if you're upset." WTF? Don't ever
ask a Bad Boy a question, unless you really want to know what is on his mind. I do prefer an HONEST Bad Boy to a manipulative one. I never would have married a manipulative man. Sweet, bad or anything.
Ladies if you love a Bad Boy, be prepared to assess him for "good man" tendencies but realize he will always be "bad" in one way or an other.
DON'T try to change him. You knew what you were getting yourself into.