Getting X'ed

HannahPanda HannahPanda
We've all been through it;
"It's just not working out."
"This is going nowhere."
"Perhaps we should stick to just friends."

But then what? Some of us get vaguely sad, some of us hit rock bottom and fall into depression, and others move on about their lives and pick up where they left off. Personally, when I go through a break up, I make changes in my life that are significant enough to represent my loss and I move along. I quickly pick back up where I was beforehand, though it takes me a few weeks and sometimes more to remember.

Recently, after a break up, I dyed and cut my hair and it made me feel brand new in some ways. Not that I forgot about the sadness or the memories, but I saw it as a step forward in representing myself as a new person, without the person I'd spent so much time with nestled in. It felt really nice.

What are your strategies for dealing with a breakup? What are your steps for grieving and learning to pick back up with life?
12/05/2011
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El-Jaro El-Jaro
It was about 3 weeks ago when my girlfriend of almost 4 years did this and we broke up.

One of the first things I did was pack up her stuff in plastic bags, just to get it all out of my sight.

Then...I started shaving my head again.
12/05/2011
Callisto Callisto
I dyed my hair pink during our very rough patch and then when we broke up I cut it short-ish.

I felt new but he keeps coming back and wanting to be with me.. so i have a constant downer and reminder. I just hope I find someone accepting of me entirely.
12/05/2011
Cookie Monster Mike Cookie Monster Mike
It's been quite some time since I've had a bad break up, but the last one I had was pretty bad. I was very very close to the person and it seriously affected me on a deep emotional level. I was fairly depressed for a few months, but work kept me super busy working 10-16 hours a day 7 days a week. For me it just takes time to get over certain things or people i'm really close too.
12/05/2011
Sublime Sublime
Nothing beats going out with your good friends on a bar crawl and getting smashed.
12/06/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Sublime
Nothing beats going out with your good friends on a bar crawl and getting smashed.
Until you wake up...
12/06/2011
Ansley Ansley
My first and only real, burned-my-soul, breakup happened about 10 and a half years ago. I cut off three and a half feet of hair and dyed it jet black.

I regret it. It made me feel better at the time, but man was it bitch to try to get it that long again. It's still not as long as I'd like it, but I'll take it. (We got back together and have been happy ever since.)
12/06/2011
Sublime Sublime
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Until you wake up...
Everyone handles things differently. I've only ever been burned once in my entire life hard enough for me to mope about it for weeks. It was my first relationship a puppy love thing that lasted a couple years in high school. After that experience I got mad that I did nothing but feel sorry for myself for so long, and promised I'd never let it happen again.

It's been almost ten years since that happened to me and in reality all it takes for me to feel better about myself after a breakup these days is a night out with my friends. Knowing and surrounding yourself with people who care about you and want nothing more than for you to be happy is a great feeling.
12/06/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I get new tattoos and pierce something new. I'd always let breakups roll off my back and powered through them until one this year (and of only a 2 year relationship and it ended on decent terms) basically brought my whole life down to its knees. It sucks but it's getting better.
12/06/2011
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 7