I had been with a man for over 6 years, over Christmas he told me that he wanted to pursue a woman he dated briefly a few years ago. This was kind of a blow but not completely unexpected.
Per usual we have been sleeping together again over the last month. The last time he came over, we watched TV, had drinks, and he stayed the night.
I want him back, that is not even a question, but I know I have to stop letting him have me so easily. The last visit was so confusing because I thought it was going to be a quick hook up, didn't even think he would show up at my house, kinda thought I was calling his bluff, and then he ended up staying, we fall into old patterns.
The woman he is with now, I know its just a matter of time before he fucks it up, I mean, he already has being with me, so that relationship I'm really not worried about.
My problem is I need some help saying no, making him work to be with me, trying to play a little harder to get, giving him subtle reminders of why he likes being with me in the first place. Anyone have tricks of how to get yourself to break that cycle of just letting them back without a fight? I'm a strong person, never have issues with men, but he has this hold on me and I can't say no. I wonder if there is something I can distract myself with to derail my brain, not let him in so easily. Like every time I think of calling or get a text from him, or see him I go do push ups instead, something like that.
I have been dating, quite a bit actually, but well obviously that isn't enough of a distraction. How can I bring him back without giving in? We have a connection, and that is a story for another day, but I know he is still searching for something, and its hard not to want to be there for him when he calls. I know its a fine line, so how do I retrain my brain to think with my best interests instead of his?
Per usual we have been sleeping together again over the last month. The last time he came over, we watched TV, had drinks, and he stayed the night.
I want him back, that is not even a question, but I know I have to stop letting him have me so easily. The last visit was so confusing because I thought it was going to be a quick hook up, didn't even think he would show up at my house, kinda thought I was calling his bluff, and then he ended up staying, we fall into old patterns.
The woman he is with now, I know its just a matter of time before he fucks it up, I mean, he already has being with me, so that relationship I'm really not worried about.
My problem is I need some help saying no, making him work to be with me, trying to play a little harder to get, giving him subtle reminders of why he likes being with me in the first place. Anyone have tricks of how to get yourself to break that cycle of just letting them back without a fight? I'm a strong person, never have issues with men, but he has this hold on me and I can't say no. I wonder if there is something I can distract myself with to derail my brain, not let him in so easily. Like every time I think of calling or get a text from him, or see him I go do push ups instead, something like that.
I have been dating, quite a bit actually, but well obviously that isn't enough of a distraction. How can I bring him back without giving in? We have a connection, and that is a story for another day, but I know he is still searching for something, and its hard not to want to be there for him when he calls. I know its a fine line, so how do I retrain my brain to think with my best interests instead of his?
