How long is it "recommended" to be single?

Lavender420 Lavender420
I was in a 3+ year relationship and we broke up earlier this year. I'm now involved in a relationship with someone else and was single for probably no more than a month. Is that normal? I'm curious how long you guys think it's "recommended" to be single for.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
It doesn't matter how long!
Chilipepper , Ryuson , TheirPet , DeliciousSurprise , meezerosity , freud13 , humblepie , wwwww , JennSenn , Elnoa , El-Jaro , OhMy! , deltalima , Airen Wolf , PassionateLover2 , HarlequinBunnie , authorzero , Tork48309 , indiechick , dhig , gloomybear , L&P3040 , humpday , brevado , MrWishyWashy , js250 , booboo111926 , Calla , Isola , gsfanatic , comatose-kitty , Envy , sktb0007 , breakfastonpluto , *Camoprincess* , laflauta , Squeaky , deadpoet
38
1-3 Months
treefrog88
1
4-6 Months
7+ Months
Gunsmoke , PeaceToTheMiddleEast
2
Total votes: 41 (41 voters)
Poll is closed
06/22/2012
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Chilipepper Chilipepper
However long you need to recover or you are comfortable with.

I'm sort of surprised that people think there should be a time limit on these sorts of things. If emotions are involved, then it's going to vary, just like mourning from death or going through a divorce. It varies between everyone. Some are more resilient and bounce back quicker, some need the peace and quiet longer, some need to completely rebuild themselves - none of them are right or wrong, it's just how they are.
06/22/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I suppose it depends on the the length and depth of the relationship.

IMO - bounce-back relationships are a bad idea. Taking time to re-establish who you are as a single person should be a welcome respite from a relationship which was obviously troubled - that's why it ended.

My advise is take your time. Stop looking and let things happen for a while.
06/22/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
I heard that they recommend a month for every year you're in the relationship but that seems still a bit short for me. I say whenever you're ready and regain independence again.
06/22/2012
meezerosity meezerosity
Everyone is different, I'm the type to wait a long time but it really depends. If you're happy now that's all that matters.
06/22/2012
freud13 freud13
I think it depends on so many things that it's hard to set a specific time frame. It's a personal decision and if you feel ready to move on then you are ready.
06/22/2012
humblepie humblepie
I've heard that you're supposed to wait one month for every year of your relationship, but really it's whatever feels best for you! I know a guy who got out of a 3 year relationship and started dating someone else the next week it caused drama but it was what he wanted.
06/22/2012
wwwww wwwww
However long it takes for you to feel ready to move on. There is no pre set allocated time you have to take.
06/22/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I am sorry I don't jump from one relationship to another. I usually wait about a year or two. Plus I have kids involved it is not healthy to bring men and out of their lives like that.
06/22/2012
JennSenn JennSenn
It's however long you feel it should be.
06/22/2012
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
I was in a 3+ year relationship and we broke up earlier this year. I'm now involved in a relationship with someone else and was single for probably no more than a month. Is that normal? I'm curious how long you guys think it's ... More
I used to be single for over 5 years. It just depends on the situation and individual.
06/22/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
I was in a 3+ year relationship and we broke up earlier this year. I'm now involved in a relationship with someone else and was single for probably no more than a month. Is that normal? I'm curious how long you guys think it's ... More
Depends on the way the previous relationship ended and whether there was proper closure and time to heal. Since we all grieve at different paces and rates there is no hard and fast answer.
06/22/2012
PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
However long you need to recover or you are comfortable with.

I'm sort of surprised that people think there should be a time limit on these sorts of things. If emotions are involved, then it's going to vary, just like mourning from ... More
I agree! Wise insight! Every situation is different, every person is different; there is NO specific or average time period.
06/22/2012
HarlequinBunnie HarlequinBunnie
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
I was in a 3+ year relationship and we broke up earlier this year. I'm now involved in a relationship with someone else and was single for probably no more than a month. Is that normal? I'm curious how long you guys think it's ... More
I'm sorry to hear about your break up but Good Luck in your new relationship.

To answer your question on how long to wait and is it normal? Yes it's normal. My view has always been it doesn't really matter how long you wait between relationships. Some break ups are worse than others so you may want more time between them, however I always believe that people move on when they are ready. If you feel ready and you are over the other person well then go ahead. I taught my teenage daughters this way and I have always lived my life this way and it works for all of us. I hope this helps.
06/22/2012
authorzero authorzero
I think it's often good to be single for a little while, but honestly that's my preference. Lots of people get back into relationships right away and that works for them.
06/22/2012
Tork48309 Tork48309
Quote:
Originally posted by PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I am sorry I don't jump from one relationship to another. I usually wait about a year or two. Plus I have kids involved it is not healthy to bring men and out of their lives like that.
Wise words, I like where you are coming from. You have to keep in mind the impact that it has on your children. I dated a girl that didn't keep this in mind in our r'ship and that's when I found out her selfish side and cut it off. It says alot about a person when you share such wise words. Keep it up.
06/22/2012
indiechick indiechick
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
I was in a 3+ year relationship and we broke up earlier this year. I'm now involved in a relationship with someone else and was single for probably no more than a month. Is that normal? I'm curious how long you guys think it's ... More
its honestly what you are comfortable. I am just out of a long term relationship and I am in no rush to get into another one. I may have some fun, but my heart is so broken after the last one failing that i'm not ready to do that again.
06/22/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Quote:
Originally posted by Tork48309
Wise words, I like where you are coming from. You have to keep in mind the impact that it has on your children. I dated a girl that didn't keep this in mind in our r'ship and that's when I found out her selfish side and cut it off. It ... More
Thank you. Yea my kids are most important and will always come first. It not only effects me but it effects them as well too.
06/22/2012
gloomybear gloomybear
it doesnt really matter
06/22/2012
L&P3040 L&P3040
It really doesn't matter at all. Just depends on how hard the break up was and if you've recovered.
06/22/2012
brevado brevado
Definitely no hard and fast rule on how long
06/22/2012
js250 js250
TIME is not the real issue or determining factor. HEALING from the damage of your previous relationship is what is important. When you have healed to the point where you can leave the previous relationship and its baggage in the past, where it belongs, then it is time to move on to your future relationship(s). You have to be whole to fairly and completely give your best to another person.

Good luck and best wishes to you and your partner!!
06/23/2012
booboo111926 booboo111926
everyone is different. it depends on you personally and how long you think you need
06/23/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Once you feel you've moved on and healed from the past relationship. Even if it was a clean break and nobody did anything wrong, there's still some pain from separating from someone close
06/24/2012
comatose-kitty comatose-kitty
Doesn't really matter.
06/24/2012
Envy Envy
It doesn't matter as it really depends on the person. Some take a month or two off, some take several years or more. It all depends on what makes you feel comfortable.
06/24/2012
*Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
It really depends on the person I guess. I normally however go from one relationship to the next Guess that makes me sound/look bad
07/01/2012
Claire-Bear Claire-Bear
It's completely up to you and your comfort level. You should never look to others to tell you what's average or recommended on something so personal as this. You can remain single for years. You can find someone today. It's all on you.
07/01/2012
deadpoet deadpoet
It depends on you and how the previous relationship was going, just my opinion. With me, I was with someone for 7 years and was single for only 3 weeks. And the was with someone for 5 months and was single for 3 months. But it is all up to you
07/13/2012
Total posts: 29
Unique posters: 28