Need help in the relationship area. Can anyone point me in the right direction?

Major Panda Major Panda
It's a little embarrassing to say your 19 years old and never kissed a girl, but I never really cared about it. It wasn't till lately that I realized I wanted to share my love with that special person. I've been best friends with this girl since 2nd grade and never really felt I needed a relationship. I moved and High School came. Long story short I met a girl junior year she wrote me notes, went to prom with her, she got a boyfriend literally right after prom, she broke my heart, she housesitted for me and she screwed over my family. She went down a bad road in life and I felt like crap. I do still hang out with my old friend here and there, but I could never risk our friendship. That's my story.

Im a person that lacks confidence with talking to women. The main problem is how do I start a conversation with someone and escalate it to the next level? I know it takes time and patients which I don't lack, but I really want to get to know someone and have a happy relationship with them. Any tips will help. Thanks
10/09/2012
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Ansley Ansley
Hey there, there are a lot of people out there in this world who are your age and older who have never kissed someone or been in a relationship, so don't let that be a hinderance.

The Golden Rule of Dating: Be.Yourself.

If you aren't being yourself, you're false advertising and that will cause problems down the line.

Everyone has quirks and hang ups and "baggage", that's what makes us human. The person for you will accept all of those things and love you in spite of them.

You've plenty of time to figure out what kind of person you want to be in a relationship. If you see a cute girl, just walk up to her and introduce yourself. Ask her if she knows any good places to get a cup of coffee in the area that isn't a Starbucks. It's not as hard as it may seem. I promise.
10/09/2012
Antipova Antipova
Stormy gives good advice

Another thing to consider---don't invest too much before you know how a girl feels about you, either. Walk up and ask for a date---without planning how much you'd like to be her boyfriend. Keep things low pressure.

If you make sure not to have too high of expectations, asking people on dates and generally being romantic will be able to come more naturally. Then when you have practice at that, you can start considering deeper relationships and that piece of the puzzle will already fit.

Don't make everything hinge on the first girl you approach.
10/09/2012
kkizzee05 kkizzee05
Quote:
Originally posted by Major Panda
It's a little embarrassing to say your 19 years old and never kissed a girl, but I never really cared about it. It wasn't till lately that I realized I wanted to share my love with that special person. I've been best friends with this ... More
I'm 19 as well. I have only had one serious relationship before the one I am currently in. I dated this guy for about 4 years on and off during the last two years, but he abused me and forced me into things I did not want to do sexually and it was a huge ordeal so I understand being heartbroken and lost. I lost all of my confidence because to my last boyfriend there was always something wrong with my body, too fat, too thin, too something, or not enough. Now, however, I am with my best friend. We have grown up together and have been friends since we were ten years old. I considered dating him for a while, but I never had the courage to do so. Plus, we lived about 3 hours apart so it would be hard, but I finally took that step and we went to prom together and have been together ever since. Maybe you just need that extra boost. Try having friends who support you and push you out of your comfort zone. This may not be the best advice, but you really never know what will happen unless you go for it, right? If you have someone in mind go after her. The worst that will happen is that she will say no, and then you know that she isn't the right girl for you. I'm sure you can find the perfect girl, even if the time isn't now. You just have to put yourself out there and show us girls who you really are.
10/09/2012
Major Panda Major Panda
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Hey there, there are a lot of people out there in this world who are your age and older who have never kissed someone or been in a relationship, so don't let that be a hinderance.

The Golden Rule of Dating: Be.Yourself.

If you ... More
Thank you so much for your input.
10/09/2012
Major Panda Major Panda
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Stormy gives good advice

Another thing to consider---don't invest too much before you know how a girl feels about you, either. Walk up and ask for a date---without planning how much you'd like to be her boyfriend. Keep things low ... More
If nothing happens I make friend. Thanks
10/09/2012
Major Panda Major Panda
Quote:
Originally posted by kkizzee05
I'm 19 as well. I have only had one serious relationship before the one I am currently in. I dated this guy for about 4 years on and off during the last two years, but he abused me and forced me into things I did not want to do sexually and it ... More
Thank you so much for sharing your story. My friends do give me crap about it to push me out of my comfort zone. I'm trying though. Thanks again.
10/09/2012
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Major Panda
Thank you so much for your input.
Anytime.
10/09/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Hey there, there are a lot of people out there in this world who are your age and older who have never kissed someone or been in a relationship, so don't let that be a hinderance.

The Golden Rule of Dating: Be.Yourself.

If you ... More
My life partner was 21 and had never been kissed and the advice I gave him was to get on out there and risk being rejected. He was waiting for the perfect woman to come along and that just doesn't happen. He made his move and surprised everyone, including me!
Don't be hung up on making the perfect move or meeting Ms. Right...be open to the possibility of meeting someone interesting and go from there.
Get out there and make some mistakes...NOTHING is more endearing than a man trying his hardest to look like he isn't trying his hardest.
10/09/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself! 19 isn't that old, and TRUST me when I say, more than likely your future girlfriend is going to love the fact that you haven't shared smooches with a bunch of other people before! I know that I would!

Are you shy in general or just with females? Try not to look at it as meeting girls that you want to date. Make some female friends! The more you're around the opposite gender, the easier it will be to open yourself up to something more than that.

Try not to let your male friends give you crap for being shy. Be yourself! Confidence will come in time, but until then, I know a lot of girls who think shy guys are super cute!

Be comfortable in your own skin. Don't let anyone pressure you into acting or being a certain way. When the right girl comes along, she's going to appreciate you for all that you are, not the front you put on in the beginning.
10/09/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Have fun. Seriously. When you are stressing about it, you aren't attractive. Have fun with dating. Ride it out. It doesn't have to be your life partner. it can be your partner in crime of the moment. Or your dance partner. Your player 2.
10/10/2012
Major Panda Major Panda
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
My life partner was 21 and had never been kissed and the advice I gave him was to get on out there and risk being rejected. He was waiting for the perfect woman to come along and that just doesn't happen. He made his move and surprised everyone, ... More
Rejection is something I need to get over. Thank you
10/11/2012
Major Panda Major Panda
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself! 19 isn't that old, and TRUST me when I say, more than likely your future girlfriend is going to love the fact that you haven't shared smooches with a bunch of other people before! I ... More
I am a shy person, but when it comes to women Im attracted to its on another level of shyness. I've gotten better at it. Thanks for you insight though.
10/11/2012
Major Panda Major Panda
Quote:
Originally posted by KrissyNovacaine
Have fun. Seriously. When you are stressing about it, you aren't attractive. Have fun with dating. Ride it out. It doesn't have to be your life partner. it can be your partner in crime of the moment. Or your dance partner. Your player 2.
Thanks
10/11/2012
LoooveMonkey LoooveMonkey
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself! 19 isn't that old, and TRUST me when I say, more than likely your future girlfriend is going to love the fact that you haven't shared smooches with a bunch of other people before! I ... More
PoP is so right. It meant a lot to me that my boyfriend and I got to be each other's first kiss. I was 21 at the time, and I was happy I still had it to give.

Good luck finding yourself a special lady. Be yourself, treat ladies the way you'd like to be treated, try to trick your brain into thinking it's known them for a long time so conversations don't get awkward, and. . . don't do weird things like use pick-up lines unless it's tasteful and you're both going to get a great laugh out of it. o_o; lol I guess in that case it would be okay. Also be open to meeting people in all different places! :3

I'm not being very helpful because I'm a person who likes to be really good friends first.
10/11/2012
kkizzee05 kkizzee05
Quote:
Originally posted by Major Panda
Thank you so much for sharing your story. My friends do give me crap about it to push me out of my comfort zone. I'm trying though. Thanks again.
Your very welcome. It worked for me and I hope it works for you too. Good Luck!
10/11/2012
Major Panda Major Panda
Quote:
Originally posted by LoooveMonkey
PoP is so right. It meant a lot to me that my boyfriend and I got to be each other's first kiss. I was 21 at the time, and I was happy I still had it to give.

Good luck finding yourself a special lady. Be yourself, treat ladies the way ... More
Thank you.
10/12/2012
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 8