To snoop or not to snoop?

RememberMe RememberMe 11/13/2012

Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

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RememberMe RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
18  (14%)
112  (86%)
Total votes: 130
Poll is open
11/13/2012
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js250 js250
Treat his possessions the way you want yours treated. Would you feel pissed or upset if he snooped?
11/13/2012
loveme loveme
I personally wouldn't do it. I wouldn't like my partner doing it to me, so I wouldnt do it either. And the way I look at it, if there's no trust and/or respect, theres no relationship.
11/13/2012
GONE! GONE!
Depends on the context. I wouldn't snoop in someone's private possessions but public stuff put on the internet, etc. is fair game!
11/13/2012
RonLee RonLee
If you do snoop, be prepared to find the unexpected.
Snooping is the first step to break up. My recommendation... Don't!
11/13/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Do you have a valid reason for feeling the need to snoop? Perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship. If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else.
11/13/2012
no longer here no longer here
It would depend on how long you have been together. Just starting, respect their privacy. Committed...We don't see it as snooping. So not sure how to vote.

We share drawers, passwords, car keys, everything. Our relationship has always had an open-door policy.

We would say in the beginning ask, there should be no reason to hide things. If they are not willing to show you or tell you then yes, re-evaluate. Secrets have no place in a relationship. They lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
11/13/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
sometimes it's hard not to snoop but it really is best
11/13/2012
Terri69 Terri69
Don't snoop
11/13/2012
Martiniman Martiniman
This is one of those huge 'depends' answers.
11/13/2012
panthercat23 panthercat23
This could go either way. We need more context.
11/13/2012
skeeterlynn skeeterlynn
I don't snoop unless I have a logic reason for doing so.
11/13/2012
Sunny Meadows Sunny Meadows
i agreed with skeeterlynn
11/13/2012
Quackinator Quackinator
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
This is one of those huge 'depends' answers.
I agree.
11/13/2012
Ivanna Ivanna
I agree it depends, but if you know somethings wrong then I would not feel the need to stay
11/13/2012
mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Treat his possessions the way you want yours treated. Would you feel pissed or upset if he snooped?
I wholeheartedly agree! Be careful about snooping...can land you in heaps of trouble!
11/13/2012
Robespierrethecat Robespierrethecat
You clearly already know he's an asshole..
11/13/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Don't waste your time, you know, and reminding yourself is just meaningless gratification that will end up bothering you
11/13/2012
Lizard Lizard
Not a good idea.
11/13/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Well, I can understand the need to be re-assured or those moments when you just freak out and need to calm your mind. I can understand that, but if you'd need to constantly snoop for issues such as having a recurring trust issue even though your partner really is faithful.

Basically, I really don't gasp and say "how horrible!" when someone says they snoop just to rid their mind of a minor icky thought. I get it. We, as humans want to be reassured. But someone who's just totally untrustworthy shouldn't be in a relationship. If you happen to have real trust issues, then I think both partners should work together to relieve the issues. That's normal and it's not a deal breaker. If you love someone, you'll kindly help reassure them.

Now serious issues that affect how you treat someone is a deal breaker. Someone who constantly accuses their loved one and is rude and hateful is not a person who should be in a relationship. There is a line for snooping.

I personally don't feel the need to snoop. My partner and I are very open and honest and hide nothing from each other, but we're also strictly monogamous and happy that way, so that sets us apart from what typical relationships are like and leaves neither of us feeling the need to do things like snoop.
11/14/2012
dawnkye dawnkye
I don't think anything good can come of snooping. Either you find a smoking gun, and he's a jerk. Or you snooped for no reason, and you're the jerk. Lose-lose, I think.
11/14/2012
MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
Don't snoop... Let it go.
11/18/2012
tortilla tortilla
don't snoop - your gut will let you know what to do/think
11/18/2012
Hubby80 Hubby80
Don't snoop.
11/19/2012
heather-mooney heather-mooney
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
talk to him instead.
11/19/2012
MrWill MrWill
If you can't trust someone enough to not have to snoop, then you shouldn't be together.
12/02/2012
SMichelle SMichelle
Don't snoop. You will regret it, and it will haunt you. Nothing good can come of it --

Possibility 1 -- You don't find anything, but you feel guilty for snooping. And you've just thrown any hint of trust out the window by snooping.

Possibility 2 -- You find something that causes you grief.

I made the mistake of snooping through a past boyfriends stuff. I hate that I did, although I felt justified at the time. Honestly, all my friends will tell you I was justified, too, but... I hate it. It haunted me that I did it for a long time.
12/02/2012
SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
Quote:
Originally posted by MrWill
If you can't trust someone enough to not have to snoop, then you shouldn't be together.
100% agree!!!
12/02/2012
jfree jfree
I can only understand due to having a cousin and an aunt who are both pathological liars and constantly backtrack to save their hides. So while I wish there was a middle ground to say it depends, if the person has proven time and time again you can't trust them, then do so.

Then kick them to the curb.
12/02/2012
Redweird Redweird
Go ahead and snoop
12/02/2012
Lioncub Lioncub
I wouldn't do it.
12/02/2012
Nykatron Nykatron
do not snoop
12/02/2012
sugar&spikes sugar&spikes
i'd snoop
12/02/2012
Mrs.Tee Mrs.Tee
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
I picked snoop. Even though I have often heard that if you snoop you are going to find what you are looking for. But I would rather know the truth then be decived and fooled with alot of lies and bs. So if my snooping will hurt me a little but on the other end I'm letting go of a liar then so be it.Because i look at it like this, if im snooping and I find something surprising, that I wasnt suppose to know about, why are we even together, if you have to keep secrets especially major secrets away from me. Our relationship is not what I thought it was from the beginning.
12/02/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Don't snoop.
12/02/2012
Rraine Rraine
I'd snoop. If I have doubts or a bad feeling about something. I would snoop.
12/04/2012
GirlOnGirl GirlOnGirl
Don't do it
12/04/2012
ashleylove920 ashleylove920
If you snoop, remember you cannot unsee whatever it is you find.
12/04/2012
*Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
Usually if I get a gut feeling that something isn't right usually I will snoop and so far my gut has been right. Really depends on what you are snooping for? If you aren't together anymore then you just need to let dead dogs lie and move on. If you are together instead of snooping maybe ask in a non accusing way what you are worried about. When I asked in a non accusing way they would get all defensive which then I really knew something was up. All I will say if good luck on this situation
12/04/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
needing to snoop means that there is something seriously wrong. Whether you find something or not, you are still going to be suspicious.
12/04/2012
amazon amazon
Do it!
12/05/2012
comatose-kitty comatose-kitty
I say dont
12/05/2012
Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
Sounds like you already know what kind of person you're dealing with. You don't need to snoop to find out what you already know.
12/07/2012
MsDrProfKitty MsDrProfKitty
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Do you have a valid reason for feeling the need to snoop? Perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship. If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else.
Agreed.
12/07/2012
Kirill1171 Kirill1171
Don't snoop.
12/29/2012
Pink Lily Pink Lily
You know what they say, it's over when you stop checking his Facebook.
12/30/2012
LittleA LittleA
Marriages break up because of it, if you have questions, ask, if you can't trust him, then don't date him.
01/06/2013
Edeneve Edeneve
if I don't want it done to me, I don't do it.
01/06/2013
Major Panda Major Panda
No that could cause alot of drama.
01/13/2013
llellsee llellsee
Don't snoop.
01/20/2013
jr2012 jr2012
Holy cow, don't do it! It causes nothing but trouble regardless if you find something or not.

I snooped in the beginning of my 8 year so far relationship, and I don't think he's fully forgiven me to this day!
01/20/2013
RedKyuubi RedKyuubi
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Treat his possessions the way you want yours treated. Would you feel pissed or upset if he snooped?
I agree with this. If you do not have the trust to not snoop I do not think you should be in a relationship with him. Trust is essential and to violate that trust hurts both parties.
01/20/2013
joiedejouets joiedejouets
No Bueno! Snooping is bad.
01/20/2013
JG24FanUK JG24FanUK
My girlfriend was snooping through my computer once and I was so pissed off.
01/30/2013
LoooveMonkey LoooveMonkey
Definitely don't. But what are you talking about snooping on, anyway? A computer? A phone? Asking people who know him?
01/30/2013
Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
dont snoop
01/30/2013
BlooJay BlooJay
I wouldn't snoop
01/30/2013
Flower1 Flower1
dont snoop
01/30/2013
hillys hillys
Why snoop? Just talk about it with him.
02/01/2013
chantalgiardina chantalgiardina
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
dont snoop- if you feel the need to, get out
02/01/2013
KinkyNicki92 KinkyNicki92
don't snoop. that means you are looking for trouble. if you feel like u cant trust him and you need to snoop to feel secure. its time to leave.
02/15/2013
bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
I feel betrayed and offended when others snoop on me. The temptation is great sometimes, but in my opinion it's never right.
02/15/2013
fizzygato fizzygato
Depends.

I might not go through their phone or something, but I might fb stalk them, ha. Or if they're checking their email and we're both online at the same time I might glance over to see what they're looking at, but not like actively move the mouse around if they get up to use the bathroom or something

I think I'd like lightly snoop, in a curious and possibly obsessive way, but not like, "I WILL find you guilty of something!!!!!!" kind way
02/18/2013
travelnurse travelnurse
You wouldn't want someone to do it to you!
02/18/2013
Cosmonaut Cosmonaut
Nope. I don't want obsessive thoughts.
02/18/2013
xOhxSoxScandalousx xOhxSoxScandalousx
Nope, not at all.
03/04/2013
Real or memorex Real or memorex
If your relationship is lacking in trust, that's an issue in itself. For my part, I wouldn't tolerate a partner who snooped (and I have never cheated on anyone, nor would I).

If you snoop and find something, you'll break up with him (I hope!) and not waste time. If you snoop and there's nothing to find, you have just given him a fantastic reason to break up with you. It's an action that portends the end of a relationship regardless of what you find.
03/04/2013
souviet souviet
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.

Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
don't. :/ it's creepy.
03/04/2013
Total posts: 68
Unique posters: 68