Originally posted by
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Well, I can understand the need to be re-assured or those moments when you just freak out and need to calm your mind. I can understand that, but if you'd need to constantly snoop for issues such as having a recurring trust issue even though your partner really is faithful.
Basically, I really don't gasp and say "how horrible!" when someone says they snoop just to rid their mind of a minor icky thought. I get it. We, as humans want to be reassured. But someone who's just totally untrustworthy shouldn't be in a relationship. If you happen to have real trust issues, then I think both partners should work together to relieve the issues. That's normal and it's not a deal breaker. If you love someone, you'll kindly help reassure them.
Now serious issues that affect how you treat someone is a deal breaker. Someone who constantly accuses their loved one and is rude and hateful is not a person who should be in a relationship. There is a line for snooping.
I personally don't feel the need to snoop. My partner and I are very open and honest and hide nothing from each other, but we're also strictly monogamous and happy that way, so that sets us apart from what typical relationships are like and leaves neither of us feeling the need to do things like snoop.