Have you ever Watched and Waited for someone to become available again? (for love)

kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
I'm talking about a woman or man you stay single because you hope the person will become available again. Not for sex like oh she/he is single oh yea..But becauuse you love the person and you feel hope always exists things can change you never know what will happen so you wait and watch...could be a situation you broke up or you are in love and they are taken already.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
yes
kinky girlfriend , ToyBoy , padmeamidala , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Linga , Errant Venture , unfulfilled , Diabolical Kitty , The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary , ellejay , Sir , Miss Nessa , JessCee , IndridCold , GONE! , Genderfree , subwayrailings , deltalima , Love Lula , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , ShinySuicide , Marie Hanna , FlightyBroad , Adriana Ravenlust , KinkyNicki92 , Trysexual
26
no
domsub1993 , Elnoa , haley730 , Selective Sensualist , Starkiller87 , wetone123 , sexyintexas , Neurogasm , indiglo , aliceinthehole , Taylor , Antipova , Beck , Ms. Spice , Shellz31 , kendra30752 , P'Gell , bluekaren , darthkitt3n , dhig , Jenni Shelton , Sweet-Justice , potstickers , hhh , Llahsram , RedKyuubi , Beautiful-Disaster , BlooJay , Zandrock , LoooveMonkey , SecretKinksters , comatose-kitty , lainebug , doowop , Mrs.Tee , hillys , xmanx , novanilla , Emina , Stagger13 , ChubbyNerd , LittleA , xOhxSoxScandalousx , Real or memorex
44
No but if I love the person I would
LaLaLouise , TheHardOne , Valentinka , Jenni Shelton , Sweet-Justice , InnocentIchigo
6
Good idea but too hard for me
yes and it does/would hurt seeing him/her with someone else.
kinky girlfriend , unfulfilled , Diabolical Kitty , Sir , Miss Nessa , geliebt , deltalima , Love Lula , FlightyBroad , improbableomnicide , Adriana Ravenlust
11
yes my heart is taken no one else will do so only thing I can do is hope,wait and watch
kinky girlfriend , deltalima
2
No and too hard anyway
El-Jaro , sexyintexas , indiglo , aliceinthehole , bluekaren , Daisy47 , Llahsram , edeneve , doowop
9
Depends/other explain
kinky girlfriend , GravyCakes , ily , Sir , Miss Nessa , MelSC , mjtheprincess
7
Total votes: 105 (83 voters)
Poll is closed
09/20/2011
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kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I'm talking about a woman or man you stay single because you hope the person will become available again. Not for sex like oh she/he is single oh yea..But becauuse you love the person and you feel hope always exists things can change you never ... More
I need to change things for myself and get my life in order so I can be there for him. He said he still loves me. If I change and he said he doubted it would happen that he still loves me. He said but dont wait for me u may find I'm with someone else. I said then I'll wait longer and hope u are single.

If we ever did date again I would lay down some rules after he agreed. If he doesnt like them he is welcome to leave. THe first time we dated we did everything wrong frm the beggining. If we go for a 2nd time want to do it right from the beggining...THere are 2 sides to every story in order for myself to get what I want I have to have a few rules as well his are obvious change the problems in my life get happier and live life and spend time with him.
09/20/2011
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I need to change things for myself and get my life in order so I can be there for him. He said he still loves me. If I change and he said he doubted it would happen that he still loves me. He said but dont wait for me u may find I'm with someone ... More
Like what I've said in your other thread, you need to find someone who shares the same faith and beliefs as you, or else your potential other half will still be overwhelmed by your very religious thinking.
09/20/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Like what I've said in your other thread, you need to find someone who shares the same faith and beliefs as you, or else your potential other half will still be overwhelmed by your very religious thinking.
Actually I can be mor silent bout it. I will lay down some rules and if he doesnt like them he will leave. I will say no sex before marriage,no sex in my dad's house. Then I will also say both of us need to be willing to arrange time and make changes,within reason and compromises so we dont get stuck in a rut and we build each other up and grow together as people....then I will give an example I will say this day we will chose what I like to do,next time your turn. Oh but you know I really dont like that sort of thing but its ok once in a while we're spending time together. Or Oh how about we both request this day off work. Exceptions,compromises that both people can agree on help. Iknow sometimes 2 people can agree to disagree once in a while its not the end of the world tho.
09/20/2011
GravyCakes GravyCakes
i remember my 2nd bf. i had finally decided that i liked him, then he started dating a girl i know & was like, what. she was the exact opposite of his type. that relationship lasted 2 weeks, & then he was mine. i didn't get in the way or anything, i just waited patiently b/c we all knew that that relationship was doomed. he told me later that he had liked me, but didn't think i was interested. we were talking about it a few months ago, & he couldn't remember her name. my 3rd & current bf & i broke up after 2 months b/c of a new long distance situation. we decided that we would try again if he ever came back to school. i waited & wouldn't date anyone else (except for a 1 night fool around w/ a guy that i was best friends w/ in high school & still regret), & when he came back a yr later, we got back together about a month later. we broke up a few weeks later b/c we had rushed into it, & started a friends w/ benefits thing. neither 1 of us wanted to see other people, & i knew if i was patient enough, we would get back together. we've been back together for almost a yr now, & even though we're back in a long distance relationship, we're making it work. he's my 1 & only!
09/20/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by GravyCakes
i remember my 2nd bf. i had finally decided that i liked him, then he started dating a girl i know & was like, what. she was the exact opposite of his type. that relationship lasted 2 weeks, & then he was mine. i didn't get in the way ... More
yea I can understand the 1 and only thing...

If I found out he started dating someone I would be looking like this for a long time especially if she also worked with both of us (he is my manager)

Infact I would request I dont work beside her because I would have strong urges to punch her.

Also everyday we're not dating I will be paranoid he is not single.
09/20/2011
Elnoa Elnoa
If someone is taken, I don't waste my time.
09/21/2011
haley730 haley730
Not really, I just move on to the next one.
09/22/2011
Starkiller87 Starkiller87
I dont think it would be healthy to wait like that.
09/22/2011
LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
I never have, but who's the say I wouldn't if the person meant that much to me? However, I'm the kind of person who doesn't really stay single long. It's too easy for me to detach from someone and become interested in someone else.
09/22/2011
wetone123 wetone123
Life is too short to waste your time on someone who has not worked out in the past and is not going to accept your values. It would be best for you to find someone who shares your beliefs.
09/22/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
The way I look at it is they are an ex for a reason. When you seperate you tend to forget the reasons that made you leave to start with, that reason is more than likely still there though.
09/22/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Yeah, echoing above. Looking in your circles would be a good place to start. Going into a relationship with firm ground rules someone has to agree too sounds a bit hostile for starting a relationship.

I wouldn't wait for someone though. I'd do my own thing and see what happens. Life is too short to waste it waiting on someone else to get single again.
09/22/2011
indiglo indiglo
Totally agree with the above posters. I've never done that and would never do that. It would be a waste of time.
09/22/2011
Linga Linga
I waited 5 years
09/23/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Linga
I waited 5 years
what became of it?
09/23/2011
sktb0007 sktb0007
No I've never done that
09/29/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
No, I have never fallen for someone who was already taken. At this stage I can say - life is too short to wait around for someone who may never be interested in the hope they will become single. BUT, things are different when there are feelings involved.
09/29/2011
Errant Venture Errant Venture
Yes. I fell for a friend, who was seeing a man who lived in another country. Which is funny, because I disapproved of that set up, and now I am in that set up!
09/29/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
No and I never would. I won't settle for being anybody's second choice. Either I'm first choice and you have me or I'm nothing and you don't get me at all. My mom taught me to NEVER wait around on a man and I'm so glad she did.

There was a time during my teen years where I was seeing an older guy who'd been in the family as a very close friend my entire life and he was too old for me at the time and it wouldn't have been... legal. Lol. Our families knew we were together, but we HAD to wait until I was of age to really go official. Yea... he ended up with another female and she soon became pregnant. I was stupid enough to even give a day's thought to waiting on him. I didn't. He had plenty of excuses, but I'm too good for them. He tried getting back with me and I told him he had a soon to be wife and mother of his child at home and had no business pursuing me again. Best decision I could've made. I hardly ever think there's a situation where one should "wait." When a person is selfish enough to ask that of you they care nothing about you. You're their "back up." I quickly made my mind up that I'd be nobody's back up or second choice.

Not to mention I am strong enough to get on with my life. There are plenty of other men out there why wait on one who doesn't even want you unless it doesn't work out with their 1st choice? Then there's the whole sitting and waiting for another woman to be dumped? That's not something I see as classy. I would feel too much like a home wrecker or almost stalkerish while waiting for another girl to be pushed aside and hurt only so I can have her man who didn't even want me enough in the first place.
09/29/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I need to change things for myself and get my life in order so I can be there for him. He said he still loves me. If I change and he said he doubted it would happen that he still loves me. He said but dont wait for me u may find I'm with someone ... More
When he said don't wait for me that is when I'd say OK nice riddance DOUCHE BAG! You should really think about it before you end up hurt even worse and possibly causing real heart ache to the person involved with this... guy. There are other feelings involved (the Girlfriend) and you don't want to be hurt, but neither does she. This is a serious thing and I think it should be taken with caution. You may resent her for having who you want, but that's not at all the way to deal with a situation like this and punching her certainly isn't. By the sounds of it, to be honest, it sounds like every single one of you are going to end up hurt and in a little girl fight and the only one who seems he will get out with no damage is the male. Females are supposed to stick together, have each other's backs.

It honestly sounds like all these demands would scare him off though. I wish you luck, but I would really back off for a while and let things cool down. It sounds like you're very emotional about the situation. Just keep in mind how it feels to be hurt. I don't like being hurt and I don't enjoy seeing other people be hurt.
09/29/2011
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I wouldn't do it for an ex b/c there's a reason why you're ex's, but for a best friend that circumstances prevented you all these years and the opportunity arose or something then yes.
09/29/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
Actually I can be mor silent bout it. I will lay down some rules and if he doesnt like them he will leave. I will say no sex before marriage,no sex in my dad's house. Then I will also say both of us need to be willing to arrange time and make ... More
You can't micromanage a relationship. Relationships, of course, should have some ground rules like 1) You can't abuse me me 2)I can't abuse you 3) Whether or not dating other people is allowed... things like that.

But, you can't FEEL a certain way about something and just "be quiet" about it and expect it to work. You still have that belief system and whether you say anything or not, it comes out in your actions.

If you are dating a man who wants sex, (and face it, most people do) and you don't want sex, he isn't going to stop wanting it. You can't change people any easier than you can change yourself and self change is VERY VERY difficult. You have to want to change, and DO IT. Saying or not saying things is not the root. Action is.
09/29/2011
Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
This is difficult to do, but yes I've done it myself.
09/29/2011
arewehavingfun? arewehavingfun?
I have done this and it is SO difficult and causes much sadness and mixed emotions. I am now married to another man, but still, man #1 holds my heart. His wife is sick and he says when she diess (which could be 10 days or 10 years) we will be together. I plan to stay married and I will not be there when he is ready. He obviously loves his wife enough to be with her and not me (he says it "for the kids" and he is not in love with her, etc (we've all been there, done that). He made his choices and I have made mine. I have not seen him for 14 months, although he has been calling and e-mailing me for the last 6 months. At first I thought it was great he called an said what a mistake he made and he loves me, not her--on and on--but it wasn't a good move. Since then it awakened old feelings that were finally going away. Lucky for me he moved about 1100 miles from where I am so it makes saying yes to an invitation very easy.

I wish you only good things and not this living torture I endure daily.
09/29/2011
arewehavingfun? arewehavingfun?
Quote:
Originally posted by arewehavingfun?
I have done this and it is SO difficult and causes much sadness and mixed emotions. I am now married to another man, but still, man #1 holds my heart. His wife is sick and he says when she diess (which could be 10 days or 10 years) we will be ... More
This is a good thread--writing what I just did helped clear my mind. Thank you.
09/29/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
You can't micromanage a relationship. Relationships, of course, should have some ground rules like 1) You can't abuse me me 2)I can't abuse you 3) Whether or not dating other people is allowed... things like that.

But, you ... More
I work with a woman from Jamaica and she dated for 1.5 years before they had sex. She said don't rush into things and you know when the time is right let the fucker wait. Only you can decide when the time is right and she found someone who respected her enough. Now they are wanting to get married and find a house she is 23.
09/29/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I work with a woman from Jamaica and she dated for 1.5 years before they had sex. She said don't rush into things and you know when the time is right let the fucker wait. Only you can decide when the time is right and she found someone who ... More
I'm sure if referring to her lover, or men in general as a "fucker" is considered is pretty sexist and probably not healthy. btw, if your guy wants sex, chances are, if you don't give it to him, he's going to 1. cheat on you or 2. get really bitter and the relationship is destined for the shitter. you can't make people do anything, especially wait for sex if they don't want to. that's a personal choice. just my two cents.

also, if someone wants sex before marriage, it's not a matter of disrespect, it's a matter of choice.
09/29/2011
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
The way I look at it is they are an ex for a reason. When you seperate you tend to forget the reasons that made you leave to start with, that reason is more than likely still there though.
Agreed!
09/29/2011
kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I'm talking about a woman or man you stay single because you hope the person will become available again. Not for sex like oh she/he is single oh yea..But becauuse you love the person and you feel hope always exists things can change you never ... More
Yeah, I've done that before... *sweatdrop*
10/11/2011
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Total posts: 60
Unique posters: 53