What is the first thing that attracts you to another?
Usually the looks are what pull me in first. But if I end up getting to talk to them and they're nothing but a jerk or someone who acts fake, or just simple someone I'm not compatible with I just stop there.
But there have been people I've noticed first with their personality. It kinda depends on the situation and how things go.
Looks can pull you into range to find out about personality, intelligence, etc. But it's pretty difficult to sense someone's IQ from across a room. Something has to interest you enough to find out the rest & that is usually something to do with looks, but can also be their demeanor. I can be drawn to someone just because of the way I see them caring for & interacting with an animal. Kindness is a big lure for me, as is wit & humor.
I actually studied the science of attraction in college. What I learned is that we THINK we know why certain people attract us, but the reality is, it happens at an unconscious level, as the result of pheromones. Then, AFTER we realize we're attracted to someone, we rationalize why, like looks or sense of humor or whatever.
I know a lot of people will reject this answer, but it's the reality of how we work.
I like a man who wears clothes that actually FIT him and who doesn't think he's something he's not.
Like those wannabe "gangstahs." They aren't in any actual gangs, but they walk around like they got one leg shorter than the other, wearing clothes 5 times too big, talking like they have marshmallows in their cheeks. Instant turnoff.
The second thing I notice is how he treats the people around him. Is he controlling or does he respect the feelings and boundaries of others? Is his sense of humor actually funny or does it come at the expense of others?
I find these things important because it usually is a pretty good indication of how he will treat me. If he walks around like he thinks he's hot shit every day, he usually thinks he's hot shit in a relationship. If he cares about how he treats others and takes care of himself, he is more conscious of my feelings and is more open to communication.
It's really complicated. I mean, of course I immediately noticed that my girlfriend was really pretty when I met her, but she has a serious presence. She comes in and you can tell that she's hilarious and confident and smart and talented.
Personality does it for me. In the looks department, you could pick up what seems like a overall sweet hot guy, then when he thinks it's alright, he's a downright abusive jackass. Then there could be the chubby hubby that people would think opposite of, but come to find out he's the biggest sweetheart you could ever know.