What would you do if... Guys can chime in as well

Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
melissa1973
Related to: 
I have been seeing a guy for over 3 years (until 6 months ago) he was terrific in the sac when he was around. I would even meet him when he was working around the area, then I started driving out of town and out of state when he wanted me to. I guess I was nuts but hey he was a great lay. I knew that I wasn't the only one he was dabbling but I didn't care at the time. Until 6 months ago.

He had me drive to Athens which was like 2 hours away from me, I got a room for 2 nights and about 45 minutes of me telling him my room number he sends someone else down to keep me "company" while he was "called in to work". Dude couldn't do anything (thank god). Then he the 3 year lay came and had another woman on his cock (I was livid).

Every time he finishes with me he cleans himself off. He would rather do a local chick knowing that I was ready and waiting for him to go to the room. To make matters worse he was at the room maybe 30 minutes before he was off again. Which was the only time he went to the room after knowing that I was to be there for two days.

The second day he calls and has to "work" again and sends a dude that has a man crush on him. There was no way in hell that I was touching that lol.
Anyway I was suppose to leave at 11a.m. and ended up leaving at 2a.m.

What I want to know from y'all is:
1. How upset would y'all be?
2. When would y'all have left?
3. Was I an idiot for going to him when he called all the 3 years we were together?
4. Why do guys think it has to be their way or no way?
5. Finally why are they such assholes?
06/13/2013
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Contributor: MrWill MrWill
Quote:
Originally posted by melissa1973
I have been seeing a guy for over 3 years (until 6 months ago) he was terrific in the sac when he was around. I would even meet him when he was working around the area, then I started driving out of town and out of state when he wanted me to. I guess ... more
!. I would be pissed if I drove that far for a woman and it was only 30 minutes together, regardless of sex or playing.

2. As soon as he sent a friend to take care of you first

3. Not going to call you an idiot, but it was pretty ignorant. If you've been seeing each other for 3 years and he only calls when he wants ass he is using you.

4. Not all guys are like that.

5. Not all guys are like that, and I'm tired of hearing that line.
06/13/2013
Contributor: Fluke Fluke
I would have gotten angry and left as soon as he sent in his "backup"

Okay, I have been in relationships like this where I just get taken advantage of. I always think the same thing, why am I so stupid, why couldn't I tell that she didn't care about me and was just using me, it is so obvious now. My opinion is that people will use you if you give them the opportunity and allow them to. It starts off slow, maybe you pay their cell phone bill or always drive to them, they never drive to you. But once they see your desperation and see they can get away with an inch, they will take a yard and then the whole mile.

I do not think you are an idiot at all. If great sex only came as a result of mutual love we'd have a lot less problems in the world.

You need to have a good mental state in which your mind tells you "wait a second, he's treating me badly, let's get out of this" way before 3 years. You want to think hey I'm worth it, I do a lot for him, he needs to do some things for me too or get out.

A salesperson can tell when they are changing someone's mind and making a sale. In the same way, an asshole can tell when they are with someone that they can take advantage of. By improving your self-esteem, confidence and how you see yourself, you won't fall victim anymore to the assholes and suddenly you will find yourself only dating good guys.
06/14/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Reading this I expected the author was an inexperienced 20-something - someone who didn't have the experience to know better. Sorry - but it seems to me you've been around long enough to know that this guy is playing the field. From a distance this may have seemed ok - but up close it harder to take.

Accept it - or move on.
06/14/2013
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
Oh no lol I'm over, it's done. Yes I am way older than 20 but as I said the sex was great until I went there then everything went to shit lol.
06/14/2013
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
Quote:
Originally posted by Fluke
I would have gotten angry and left as soon as he sent in his "backup"

Okay, I have been in relationships like this where I just get taken advantage of. I always think the same thing, why am I so stupid, why couldn't I tell that ... more
Oh I was upset with the entire thing but I thought, hell I don't know what I was thinking to be honest. Anyway they have a Sonic down there and that was the best time of being down there. At least I can say I went there for the Sonic burger.
06/14/2013
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
Quote:
Originally posted by MrWill
!. I would be pissed if I drove that far for a woman and it was only 30 minutes together, regardless of sex or playing.

2. As soon as he sent a friend to take care of you first

3. Not going to call you an idiot, but it was pretty ... more
LOL OK maybe not all but a whole hell of a lot of guys are assholes just face it (with few exceptions). For the first two years he would come to my town literally on a daily basis. I accepted his excuse when he started stopping in twice a week, then once a week, and down the line. Hell I was using him for the great sex that I know he does, it was nothing but sex when we were around together like many couples in the beginning. Like many (not all) relationships it fizzled down after a while. Then he started being an asshole ans finally having the balls to do what he did, when I finally got pissed enough to end it.
06/14/2013
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by melissa1973
I have been seeing a guy for over 3 years (until 6 months ago) he was terrific in the sac when he was around. I would even meet him when he was working around the area, then I started driving out of town and out of state when he wanted me to. I guess ... more
I would've left when the shenanigans started.
06/14/2013
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
Quote:
Originally posted by ViVix
I would've left when the shenanigans started.
I was thinking about it but I was also thinking that I needed a break from being stuck at the house.
06/14/2013
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
Quote:
Originally posted by MrWill
!. I would be pissed if I drove that far for a woman and it was only 30 minutes together, regardless of sex or playing.

2. As soon as he sent a friend to take care of you first

3. Not going to call you an idiot, but it was pretty ... more
I agree w/MrWill

Few guys are really like that. It's just that a lot of women are attracted to the same type over and over and then give guys a bad rap. Women are just as guilty of doing the same type things.

Seems like little more than a FB, so not sure why you would expect more.

Sonic burgers are great. So is their Cherry Limeaid! Yum.
06/14/2013
Contributor: Bubba29 Bubba29
Quote:
Originally posted by melissa1973
I have been seeing a guy for over 3 years (until 6 months ago) he was terrific in the sac when he was around. I would even meet him when he was working around the area, then I started driving out of town and out of state when he wanted me to. I guess ... more
this is all so simple, normal and easy to understand. just keep doing what you are doing. seems fine by me.
06/14/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
First of all - he's married. So the other woman on his cock? That was his wife's pussy and that's why he always washed up after being with you. That's as clear as the day is long.

Secondly, most guys are not like that but if you allow them to treat you that way, they will. Honestly, a man loves a woman who says no sometimes a hell of a lot more than they love a woman who says yes every single time. And not just in regards to sex, but other areas of life as well.

Third? This would have been so much different if he hadn't have sent in a replacement. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? *ahem* WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT WITHOUT TELLING and/or ASKING FOR CONSENT FIRST???

This dude is way beyond fucked up in the head. Cut and run and don't ever look back. I'm just really sorry you were taken advantage of like that and I hope it isn't nearly as traumatizing for you as I think it would have been for me.
06/14/2013
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
First of all - he's married. So the other woman on his cock? That was his wife's pussy and that's why he always washed up after being with you. That's as clear as the day is long.

Secondly, most guys are not like that but if ... more
I was wondering about him being married. When we first started I asked and he said he was divorced, that's all anyone can really go on unless you know both of the people.
Most guys that I have known either sexually or work related turn out to be assholes in one way or another just not that bad lol.
I decided when I left in the middle of the night, and I can't see real well driving at night, that it was over and I haven't spoken to him since. I'm not traumatized as much as a person would think. I'm just DONE period, I've got too much in my life to deal with any man. I'll just stick with my toys at least they don't cheat, or lie and they're not assholes as many men are.
06/14/2013
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
Quote:
Originally posted by Trysexual
I agree w/MrWill

Few guys are really like that. It's just that a lot of women are attracted to the same type over and over and then give guys a bad rap. Women are just as guilty of doing the same type things.

Seems like little more ... more
OMG IKR!!!!!

Yes he was a FB but still don't frigging have me drive 2 hours, stay the weekend, send some moron that I don't know, and only show up for 30 minutes lol. Hell I could have gotten quite a few toys with the $160.00 I spend on gas and room lol. But yes the Sonic was amazing. Back home we had them on all street corners or most of them anyway. I've been in Ohio for the past 7 years with no Sonic and I was craving bad. I'll be taking my daughter 2 states over for s week not only 2 spend time together but so she can have a Sonic burger.
06/14/2013
Contributor: MrWill MrWill
Ladies: You do realize there are books written for men that show guys exactly how to be the write kind of asshole to get you all excited right?

And short of you being a very rare psychological anomaly, the crap in the books almost always works. I've caught other guys doing it (guys that had never read the books.. it's just the "game" they developed)


Long story short: If you meet a guy somewhere and he ignores you, then starts blatantly dogging on you, then just teasing.. More than likely he's trying to get in your pants.
06/14/2013
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
Quote:
Originally posted by MrWill
!. I would be pissed if I drove that far for a woman and it was only 30 minutes together, regardless of sex or playing.

2. As soon as he sent a friend to take care of you first

3. Not going to call you an idiot, but it was pretty ... more
ok, MrWill, I'll give you a fair chance - why do you say not all guys think "it" has to be their way or no way? play fair here & don't use yourself as an example. this is a serious question. btw, my experience w/ guys has been, well, lets PM.
06/15/2013