You can write on anything you wish, but to receive points for it, it has to be purchased from here.
Here's what I give each of my students when they enter my mentor program on what to include in the writing process.
Write coherently. Check your spelling and grammar. If spelling isn’t your strong suit, type your review into a word processor first and spell check it. Make sure everything is written in complete sentences. The text should flow meaning that one paragraph or statement should follow the next. You shouldn’t jump from one topic to the next and then suddenly go back to the previous topic. Keep things organized.
Check your information.
Make sure everything you put in the review is accurate. If you are unsure about something do some research on the materials and even the company that makes the toy. Don’t say that splash proof toy is waterproof or that jelly is body safe.
That means anything! Don’t assume what type of person might be reading your review. Don’t assume that a beginner doesn’t want strong vibrations. Don’t assume that a couple will be male/female. Most importantly, don’t assume that just because something didn’t work for you that it won’t work for anyone in the world.
Generalized information isn’t really helpful. “It was big” isn’t as helpful as actual dimensions. “It had texture” isn’t as helpful as describing the texture exactly. The more details you can include, the more helpful the review becomes.
At the end of the day, people want to know if a toy worked or not. If you don’t include this information, you’re just writing a long product description. Don’t write an erotic novel, but include if it worked for you or not. Then include why you think that was. What are your usual preferences and did this match up with those? Answer anything you had wanted to know about the toy before you purchased it and anything you learned while using it. Think of anything someone might want to know and add that in there.
I usually tell my students to think about a review as trying to describe it to your best friend over the phone. They're not there to use their senses to see what it is all about so it is your job to describe it for them. In the end, that's what reviewing on here is about. We are trying to give those who are interested in a certain product our opinion of why it is good or not worth trying.
In the extended format, it’s divided into sections as follows:
This is the introduction to the toy. What is it for? Where can it be used? Are there any safety concerns (not being able to use it anally, potentially able to damage the cervix, etc.)? What are the key features of the toy? What situations is it best used in? To be considered anal safe it has to have a flared base.
What is it made from? Does it have any good properties like its phthalate free, latex free, non-porous, hypoallergenic etc. How does it rate on the Eden safety scale? What does the material feel like to the hand and in use? Does it have any drag? How much lube is needed to insert it? Is it smooth or textured? If it’s textured, detail the texture. What does the texture feel like in use can it be felt while in use or not noticeable? Would it be suitable for someone that is texture sensitive? How about someone that likes a lot of texture? Is there anything special about the material that readers should know? Are there any seams to it and if so can they be felt?
What are the exact dimensions of the toy? Do these match up with the dimension listed on the product page? Also mention how it compares in terms of other items that most people have like pens, remote controls, razors, highlighters, cell phone, etc. Is it the same size all the way down or is there places that are larger or smaller than other areas. How did the size work for you and what are your usual preference for size? Would this size be suitable for someone who has never been penetrated before? Would it be more suited to someone who prefers larger or smaller sizes? Does it create a full or stretched feeling? What does the design look like? Describe it as if there are no pictures on the product page. What special features are there to the design? Is the toy discreet? Can it be stored easily? Is it easy to travel with?
FUNCTIONS/PERFORMANCE/ CONTROLS (vibrators)
Describe the controls and buttons of the toy. How do they work? Are they easy to use? Do you ever accidentally press them during use? How many settings are there? Describe any pattern options and the power levels available. How strong are the vibrations at each setting? If possible, compare them to other toys. What kind of vibrations does it have are they deep and rumbly or surface vibrations that are kinda buzzy like a bee. Do the vibrations ever cause your hand to go numb or cause discomfort. Where are the virbations located, throughout the whole toy, in the shaft, at the head etc.
Did you find the vibrations to be strong enough and the type of vibrations to be pleasing? What strength and type of vibrations do you normally like? Who will the vibrations work best for? Is the toy waterproof or splash proof? If so, did you test it? What powers the toy (batteries, rechargeable, USB)? If batteries, what type and were they included? If rechargeable, how long does it need to be charged and how long does the charge hold? How long do the batteries last, does it run down fast or last a long tiem? What type of stimulation does the design provide (broad, pinpoint, etc.)? Who will this stimulation be best for? How loud is it, can it be heard through thin walls, outside closed doors, in the same room. Whisper quiet or not heard outside the covers.
How did the dildo feel during use? Was the material comfortable? What about the size? Did it perform up to the standard that it set? In other words, if it was marketed as a G spot toy, did it hit your G spot? Will it work for a variety of anatomies? What body types will it work best for? What was best about the performance? What was the worst? If it is harness compatible or has a suction cup, discuss how these features worked. If you did not test it in these ways, mention that.
If it's a lube, arousal gel, candle, body item etc. what are the ingredients, what does it smell like, is the power overwhelming and may cause a headache to those who are sensitive to smells, does it smell like it is supposed to according to the name of the package or does it remind you of something else, are there ingredients in there that could be potentially irritant like glycerine, parabens etc.
How do you clean this toy? What different methods are available? Is it waterproof? Can it be sanitized in any way? Are there circumstances where it should be sanitized? What types of lube can be used with it? What storage options are available? Did the packaging work as storage or will storage need to be purchased? What kind of lube do you use with it? How does it need to be stored in a cool dark place, out of direct sunlight?
Describe the packaging in detail. What did it say? Was the toy visible? Was it discreet? Would the packaging make good storage? Could it be gifted in the original packaging?
Anything else you’d like to say that you couldn’t find a place for in the above sections.
Here’s where you should talk about how the toy worked for you in detail. Again, it shouldn’t be porn, but it should have good detail. Was it satisfying? Why do you think it did or did not work? What are your personal preferences? What would you change about this toy, if anything.