Problems even getting a mentor?

WhirlingStars WhirlingStars
I've requested about 3 mentors who said they were available and all said they came on often. It's been over a week since hearing anything from any of them. I don't know what to do. I want a mentor, but no one seems to even reply to my messages or requests? I'd prefer a mentor who's pan/bi/lesbian so I can have someone to relate to as a mentor.
I'd like some help on what to do next?
05/30/2013
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evanescentowl evanescentowl
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
I've requested about 3 mentors who said they were available and all said they came on often. It's been over a week since hearing anything from any of them. I don't know what to do. I want a mentor, but no one seems to even reply to my ... More
D: I'm sorry to hear that!

You don't really get alerts about messages. If you go to your public profile there should be a little thing that says if you have any new messages or not. You might just be over-looking them. I know I would never realize if I had messages or not unless I looked at my own profile.
05/30/2013
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
I am sorry you are having trouble finding a mentor. This time of year is busy for a lot of people with holidays, graduations, vacations, etc. You may want to look for a mentor who has been recently active in posting on the forums or posting reviews.

I might also suggest finding a mentor who reviews similar products but is a bit different from you. If you pick a very similar mentor then their suggestions about what you are missing may not be as helpful. If you pick a mentor of a different demographic then they can let you know things to include that you may not have thought of. For example if you are a older, having a college student as a mentor can give you insight into what someone of that age is looking for in a review.
05/30/2013
VeganChick (is Gone) VeganChick (is Gone)
I would also suggest submitting as many requests as you can. I submitted several until lovely Kendra picked me up.
05/30/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
I've requested about 3 mentors who said they were available and all said they came on often. It's been over a week since hearing anything from any of them. I don't know what to do. I want a mentor, but no one seems to even reply to my ... More
I'm so sorry to hear that you've having such a hard time. The others are right, this is a busy time of the year with Summer fast approaching.

It's a little more difficult to find someone when your preferences limit who you're selecting. I've worked with students that had different sexual preferences than I do, and we got along great! Try not to focus on the smaller things. Read through the reviews of available mentors and see if you like their style. If you do, request them!

Mentors are only able to accept a certain number of students each month and if someone requests them before you do and they accept that student, the system will automatically cancel the next student in line. If you're really interested in someone, send them a message before requesting them and see when they'll be available. There are lots of great mentors that I'm sure would be willing to help you out!
05/30/2013
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I can take new students and I am bi. I would be happy to work with you!
05/30/2013
WhirlingStars WhirlingStars
Quote:
Originally posted by KrissyNovacaine
I can take new students and I am bi. I would be happy to work with you!
That'd be lovely, but the site says you're still unavailable?
Also to the others thank you for your advice and all, I just felt a bit odd talking about toys I'd be using with my girlfriend: Like strap ons and such. Only thought it is more comfortable to talk about those matters with someone who has experience.
05/30/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
That'd be lovely, but the site says you're still unavailable?
Also to the others thank you for your advice and all, I just felt a bit odd talking about toys I'd be using with my girlfriend: Like strap ons and such. Only thought it is ... More
Harness use isn't strictly for those that are in same gender relationships. I have a harness and I am in a relationship with a male. Everyone here is very open minded and so many of us have tried a little bit of everything. Try to keep that in mind!
05/30/2013
WhirlingStars WhirlingStars
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Harness use isn't strictly for those that are in same gender relationships. I have a harness and I am in a relationship with a male. Everyone here is very open minded and so many of us have tried a little bit of everything. Try to keep that in ... More
I know some people do and are open, but I tend to not see it much in person. So I feel a bit awkward is all? I'm used to the whole stigma with being queer so it feels odd to have to talk about that with someone who isn't and might not like it that I am? I'm Sorry that it might of seemed insulting at all. UnU
05/30/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
I know some people do and are open, but I tend to not see it much in person. So I feel a bit awkward is all? I'm used to the whole stigma with being queer so it feels odd to have to talk about that with someone who isn't and might not like it ... More
I TOTALLY get that and am not at all offended!

I do want to say that this community is so different than what you will find in every day life. I can't think of a single person that's been treated like they were 'weird' or 'different' for their sexual preferences and I've been here since November of 2011!

It does take a while to get used to being able to be totally open without having anyone looking down on you, but it's amazing once you hit the point where you realize that everyone here respect you for who you are. It's amazing!!!
05/30/2013
WhirlingStars WhirlingStars
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
I TOTALLY get that and am not at all offended!

I do want to say that this community is so different than what you will find in every day life. I can't think of a single person that's been treated like they were 'weird' or ... More
Oh! OwO Thank you very much, I only just joined about 2 weeks ago so I'm really new to this sort of community. I'll try to get more comfortable, but some habits die hard.
05/30/2013
Ryuson Ryuson
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
Oh! OwO Thank you very much, I only just joined about 2 weeks ago so I'm really new to this sort of community. I'll try to get more comfortable, but some habits die hard.
I also agree. I also have never really felt comfortable discussing my gender/sexuality issues off-line, but on here I don't think that anyone would find ANYTHING weird unless they were very new. If you are close-minded you probably shouldn't be hanging out on a sex toy forum!

I also understand wanting to find a mentor you identify with, but I've found that it has more to do with personality than life background. I've had people who are VERY similar in life experience than I am that I just don't click with as a mentor/student, and some of my best students have been 45 year old housewives!

I think that the best thing to do if you really want someone to be your mentor is to message them. Some people will 'reserve a spot' for you when they qualify for more students if they know you're interested!
05/30/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
Oh! OwO Thank you very much, I only just joined about 2 weeks ago so I'm really new to this sort of community. I'll try to get more comfortable, but some habits die hard.
Sad that it was a habit in the first place!

We'll accept you here, just as you are! I can promise you that! I know that it's hard to open up when you feel like you haven't been able to before, but I PROMISE you, you'll see in time that there's nothing to be worried about here!
05/30/2013
evanescentowl evanescentowl
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
Oh! OwO Thank you very much, I only just joined about 2 weeks ago so I'm really new to this sort of community. I'll try to get more comfortable, but some habits die hard.
I've been here about as long. ^ - ^ I'm new to the community too! So welcome~ Everyone has been so lovely to me and I just know you'll fit right in and find your comfort spot.
05/30/2013
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by evanescentowl
D: I'm sorry to hear that!

You don't really get alerts about messages. If you go to your public profile there should be a little thing that says if you have any new messages or not. You might just be over-looking them. I know I would ... More
That's not true. You can set alerts for messages.




You can set that here
05/30/2013
charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
It looks like you have some good leads now, but I will agree with the others that it can help to have someone with a different point of view look over your reviews. I've really enjoyed working with students who have a different sexual orientation, I feel like we both benefit from the experience.

Keep trying, I'm sure you'll find someone who is a good fit. Read reviews, get to know some people, and then it will all fall into place!
05/30/2013
charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
That's not true. You can set alerts for messages.




You can set that here
Yep, I was going to add that to my post. Also, the mentors are getting emails saying they have a request, and if they accept you, you would be sent a message and email.
05/30/2013
Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
I see a lot of awesome people have already talked to you but I'm available to take students and I would love to mentor you if you still need a mentor.

Welcome to Eden.
05/30/2013
tami tami
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
I've requested about 3 mentors who said they were available and all said they came on often. It's been over a week since hearing anything from any of them. I don't know what to do. I want a mentor, but no one seems to even reply to my ... More
sorry to hear the person who mentor me is not on here anymore or I would tell you to use her.
05/30/2013
Heartthrob Heartthrob
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
I've requested about 3 mentors who said they were available and all said they came on often. It's been over a week since hearing anything from any of them. I don't know what to do. I want a mentor, but no one seems to even reply to my ... More
Keep trying is all I can really think of. There are a lot of mentors on the site.
05/31/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
That's not true. You can set alerts for messages.




You can set that here
If you follow the above directions, and still aren't receiving email alerts, check your junk mail! Gmail, for example, automatically sends many EF emails to the spam folder. It took me forever to realize that that was why I wasn't getting responses and alerts!
05/31/2013
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Quote:
Originally posted by WhirlingStars
That'd be lovely, but the site says you're still unavailable?
Also to the others thank you for your advice and all, I just felt a bit odd talking about toys I'd be using with my girlfriend: Like strap ons and such. Only thought it is ... More
My free spots filled up but I am available on the 9th if you haven't found one by then. Sorry about that!
05/31/2013
WhirlingStars WhirlingStars
Quote:
Originally posted by KrissyNovacaine
My free spots filled up but I am available on the 9th if you haven't found one by then. Sorry about that!
That's alright ^w^
05/31/2013
Total posts: 23
Unique posters: 13