Are There Things That Should Never Go In A Review?

Sammi Sammi
This question came up on the Rating Reviews thread, so I'll pose the question here.

What do you think should never be included in a review?
02/10/2010
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Sundae Sundae
It's really hard to be specific about this because I love to hear about people's experiences, that is often an important part of a review, but also the part where everything can go wrong in my mind. I don't want to hear a detailed description of how hard your girlfriend cums every time you go near her, or how gigantic and filling your member is, but that you decided to treat her with a vibe because you're such a gentleman. It's pretty much the boasting and the unnecessary details that get to me, where clearly someone is just out to prove to those reading the review that they have the best sex ever. Apart from this, I'd say overuse of chatspeak/slang (depends on how it's used and in what context) and offensive terms.
02/11/2010
MuffysPinguLove MuffysPinguLove
Quote:
Originally posted by Sundae
It's really hard to be specific about this because I love to hear about people's experiences, that is often an important part of a review, but also the part where everything can go wrong in my mind. I don't want to hear a detailed ... More
I completely agree with all of Sundae's points. Offensive terms are a big no no for me and often make me not even want to finish reading the review. Overly explicit things and slang make me pay less attention to the review.
02/11/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Recommending that silicone be headed in the microwave for temperature play should never be in a review.

Also applies to aluminum, jelly, plastic, TPE, TPR...
02/11/2010
LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
I agree with Sundae on the chat speak: no LOL's, OMG's, And no emoticons.

Also, please PLEASE proofread! Call me a snob, but if the first sentence in your review is a run-on, then I don't even want to finish reading it. It's not that hard: just copy and paste it into Word (or write it in there first, then copy it to the template). Word would pick up a lot of those mistakes. For other stuff, like 'to' instead of 'too', here's my suggestion. Write your review, give it a once-over, then leave it alone for a day. Come back to it a day later, and mistakes will be more noticeable. Then submit it.

Don't have Microsoft Office? Use Office Live online. It's free.
02/11/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
I agree with Sundae on the chat speak: no LOL's, OMG's, And no emoticons.

Also, please PLEASE proofread! Call me a snob, but if the first sentence in your review is a run-on, then I don't even want to finish reading it. It's ... More
or Open Office
02/11/2010
Sundae Sundae
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
I agree with Sundae on the chat speak: no LOL's, OMG's, And no emoticons.

Also, please PLEASE proofread! Call me a snob, but if the first sentence in your review is a run-on, then I don't even want to finish reading it. It's ... More
I think I'm probably guilty of the run-on sentence crime. I let that sort of thing slide a bit more when I'm reviewing. However, I understand where you're coming from with spelling mistakes and stuff, a couple will always slip through the cracks, but at least use a spellchecker!
02/11/2010
LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
or Open Office
I think that's what I was thinking of actually. Hadn't finish my coffee + angry rant = can't think of words/names.
02/11/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
I think that's what I was thinking of actually. Hadn't finish my coffee + angry rant = can't think of words/names.
hahha, noted.
02/11/2010
TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
Chatspeak. It's your not ur.

Like Sundae said, going into too much description on sexual acts can get a bit queasy. Saying that the toy did it's job is one thing, but leave the erotica elsewhere.

to/too/two get me. As well as they're/there/their. Ooo, and your/you're. These aren't hard people!!! I understand a slip up every now and again, but if every single review of yours is filled with them, I will not read them.
02/11/2010
Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
I can tolerate a few things, but there is a limit to the type of pictures taken with a product in the off-site reviews. Sometimes, I'm not prepared to see some nudity when reading the review of a feather tickler for instance or see the screenshots of a porn movie right below a massage candle review. I think it is inappropriate.

I agree we are all adult and can handle nudity, but can I be the one to decide if I want to? I consider Edenfantasys a very classy website and the nipples and penises from items are censured with a cute little leaf. I would like that the off-site reviews respect that as well.
02/11/2010
LiftedUp LiftedUp
I actually make a very conscious effort to refrain from any course, foul, or vulgar language in my reviews. I don't appreciate reviews filled with cussing or overtly raunchy sexual references; after all, these are supposed to be intelligent, well-thought-out reviews, appropriate for ANY and EVERY adult to read.

There have been times when I've come across a review filled with such references, and I generally stop reading it, as to me, it tends to cause the review to lose merit in my eyes. I guess subconsciously, I doubt if I can trust the opinion of a reviewer who isn't approaching their review with the same level of professionalism that many others here do.
02/11/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Kynky Kytty
I can tolerate a few things, but there is a limit to the type of pictures taken with a product in the off-site reviews. Sometimes, I'm not prepared to see some nudity when reading the review of a feather tickler for instance or see the ... More
I agree. Since the offsite reviews are linked on EF, the pictures of less than safe for work things should really be behind a cut with the warning of nudity, etc. It's not difficult to do and it shows respect for everyone
02/11/2010
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by Sundae
It's really hard to be specific about this because I love to hear about people's experiences, that is often an important part of a review, but also the part where everything can go wrong in my mind. I don't want to hear a detailed ... More
Very much agree with Sundae. A light tale of the experience is enjoyable to read, but when it's overly detailed or graphic, it falls in the category of unappreciated TMI.

One personal pet peeve of mine comes with the waterproof toys. If it's labeled waterproof and the reviewer mentions this but admits they didn't test it, that's ok. But when they play up the fact that the toy is waterproof, give lots of suggestions for underwater use, and THEN say they didn't test it, that's absurd. Plenty of toys that are labeled as being waterproof turn out not to be. And honestly, if they aren't able to actually take it in the bath with them during the testing period, would it be a stretch to expect them to submerge it in a sink or bowl of water for awhile just to see if the claim is solid?
02/11/2010
Heartthrob Heartthrob
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
This question came up on the Rating Reviews thread, so I'll pose the question here.

What do you think should never be included in a review?
One thing I have noticed is people suggesting anal play with everything from bullets to vibes which are not meant for such. I have noticed staff going into some of these reviews and putting up a disclaimer, which is good.
02/11/2010
Pleasureman Pleasureman
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
This question came up on the Rating Reviews thread, so I'll pose the question here.

What do you think should never be included in a review?
Let me see. I noticed something recently that put a lot of people off. There have been one or more reviewers speaking negatively about a normal man's penis size. In fact, I remember one review mentioning putting a man through pain in order to pleasure the woman because the man was too small for the woman. This kind of talk is negative and in my opinion, has no place on Eden.
02/11/2010
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
Very much agree with Sundae. A light tale of the experience is enjoyable to read, but when it's overly detailed or graphic, it falls in the category of unappreciated TMI.

One personal pet peeve of mine comes with the waterproof toys. If ... More
That's one thing that really, really gets to me. I live in a college dorm. I rarely have access to a tub to take a bath, or to a private sink, so of course I could only test if the toy is splash-proof in the shower, right? No, I usually get a bowl of water, bring it back to my room, and dunk a few of the darn things under there for a goodly while. We're reviewers. TRY to push the boundaries of the toys, within reasonable limits. Don't have a tub? Try a sink or bowl.

Another thing that bugs me is when people spend a review tearing apart a product that worked for them, implying or saying flat-out that no one could ever get any pleasure out of it... when there are a whole bunch of reviews praising it. Feel free to disagree with the crowd about whether it works for you, but try to take into account that some people may love they toy you hate. (I hate toys with hard glass nubbies, but others absolutely adore them)

Regardless of what you do in your personal life, I don't like seeing recommendations for unsafe or questionable acts in reviews. As Heartthrob said, suggesting anal with bullets or straight traditional vibrators is generally something that sets off warnings in my head.

On the other hand, saying "this may be fun for anal play if you ____ ____ ____, are very careful, and know your limits. However, this is not recommended for any but experienced anal players (who are ready and willing to go to the ER if something goes wrong)." Someone said something similar to that in a review of a very long dildo or vibrator once. I forget who it was, but it struck me as very well put and safety conscious, while still admitting in a professional manner that "off-label" use was possible.

I agree with Pleasureman. Talking down to any body/bodypart size has no place here, nor does bragging about endowments. Mentioning in passing that something doesn't fit/work right because of your size or shape is one thing. Going on and on about how your man is sooooo big that he would never, ever need an extender to pleasure you , the thought is ridiculous, but maybe a smaller man might need this so a woman could feel how nice a real, big, juicy penis feels... Unpleasant. I've seen it too many times.
02/11/2010
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
(Oh goodness, that was much longer than intended. This is what I get for posting when I'm in a babbling mood... )
02/11/2010
Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by Kynky Kytty
I can tolerate a few things, but there is a limit to the type of pictures taken with a product in the off-site reviews. Sometimes, I'm not prepared to see some nudity when reading the review of a feather tickler for instance or see the ... More
"Sometimes, I'm not prepared to see some nudity when reading the review of a feather tickler for instance or see the screenshots of a porn movie right below a massage candle review."

I'm not sure why porn screenshots would be in a massage candle review. Could you explain that part? I think I'm missing something.
02/11/2010
Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
"Sometimes, I'm not prepared to see some nudity when reading the review of a feather tickler for instance or see the screenshots of a porn movie right below a massage candle review."

I'm not sure why porn screenshots would be ... More
I'm slightly exagerating. It was just to say that even if we know off-site reviews are necessarily 18 or 21+ because of the content, but we are not always warned about some nudity or explicit content among the reviews. People using the links to read off-site reviews are not all reviewers, and if the off-sites are not completely "adult-friendly", they might not want to click on those links as much as they did.

Some people may disagree, but I personally feel that being part of this review program, I am representing this website as much as anyone officially working here, and I believe I must make sure to keep my image similar to Edenfantasys'.

And Pleasureman and Luscious, you are cute. Why do I get the impression I read that review? And yes, I completely agree about that point.
02/12/2010
Darling Dove Darling Dove
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
Very much agree with Sundae. A light tale of the experience is enjoyable to read, but when it's overly detailed or graphic, it falls in the category of unappreciated TMI.

One personal pet peeve of mine comes with the waterproof toys. If ... More
Honestly, after dealing with so many waterproof toys, you get a feel for when it is true and when it is not. So to me, if I see something that looks unreliable as far as waterproofing, I shower test it and recommend shower use only, not submersion. If I think it can handle it I will do submersion tests with the toy or take it in the bath.

It does not take much to make a toy splashproof but the cheapie rubber washers are rarely enough for complete watertightness and many manufacturers include warnings (I think I encountered this not too long ago) not to fully submerge the toy and such. A lot of it is also user care. Are you taking the toy in the shower/bath to review it or are you trying to kill it? Splashproof for cleaning and shower use does not mean to hold it under a running tap. I treat things carefully and I suppose for that reason, it is good that we have multiple reviews since it is entirely a 'your mileage may vary' thing for how you treat your toy.

Sometimes manufacturers claim waterproofness and they dont have any kind of flexible seal. In these cases it depends entirely on how much I like the toy and if I am willing to risk killing it. If I am I'll do it anyways and find out. If I'm not I will recommend caution and note my thoughts on it, like to use a damp rag and avoid dousing the battery compartment area or whatever.


Anywho, I do agree that people shouldnt say these things without actually testing them. Although admittedly seeing a bunch of 'waterproof' dildos bobbing around in a bucket is a hilarious sight.

What do I think should never be in reviews.. hmm.

Well, obnoxious-type personal experience is a definite turn off. Wrong info or tales of sharing without condoms also is. I think a lot of reviews suffer from a lack of detail and personality. It's something I've been trying to fix in my own reviews, because people either completely leave out details such as WHY it is so amazing or why is it horrible, or they go overboard on details and end up with a dry piece of cardboard.

So.. balance is important.
Lots of caps and exclamation marks should be avoided. It's childish and makes me think the reviewer is like 14 or something, which is gross. So do tales of how you hide it from your mom or your kids, or how the dog tried to eat it. Family details should usually stay out of reviews.
02/12/2010
Darling Dove Darling Dove
Quote:
Originally posted by Kynky Kytty
I'm slightly exagerating. It was just to say that even if we know off-site reviews are necessarily 18 or 21+ because of the content, but we are not always warned about some nudity or explicit content among the reviews. People using the links to ... More
I can see your point, but at the same time, the censoring seems to be sparse and only on packaging and such. There are tons of realistic vaginas and penii on the site, fully exposed, and I wouldnt have it any other way. EF is not a work safe site, unless your boss is okay with you browsing an assortment of bedtime accessories- so I dont see why offsite reviews should have to exclude them entirely. Even some of the top rated reviewers have included nudity, spousal, self or otherwise in off site reviews. Some people have pics of an adult nature as part of their layout.

I do think a warning may be nice, but not required.
02/12/2010
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Dove
I can see your point, but at the same time, the censoring seems to be sparse and only on packaging and such. There are tons of realistic vaginas and penii on the site, fully exposed, and I wouldnt have it any other way. EF is not a work safe site, ... More
I agree. You know you're clicking off site with those reviews and you can simply choose to view them at a different time. I'm not sure why anyone would think EF is work safe anyway.
02/12/2010
Heather Heather
In reading the many recent discussions on reviews, ratings and rankings there seems to me to be a real problem that has been brought up over and over again, inappropriate or unsafe practice being recommended in a review. I do see EF makes every effort to add an editor’s note clarifying the mistake but how many are missed. Many here in the community roast these people on their mistakes and for good reason. In my opinion, I don’t think it should be so easy for a member of the community to become an “Advanced Reviewer”. Really have you seen some of the reviews done by people upgraded? There have been other discussions mentioning the obvious stacking of votes by friends to be upgraded. May-be one way of reducing some of the problems there seem to be with the entire program is to have a select few community members who can vote on an upgrade. For example, I post my first two or three reviews and ask for an upgrade which is submitted only to this group. They review the request and grade the reviews offering suggestions for improvement if necessary and then decide if that person is granted an upgrade. This can be done anonymously as the “Review Team”?
02/12/2010
LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
Quote:
Originally posted by Heather
In reading the many recent discussions on reviews, ratings and rankings there seems to me to be a real problem that has been brought up over and over again, inappropriate or unsafe practice being recommended in a review. I do see EF makes every ... More
I think this is an awesome idea. I, too, have been bothered by the quality of some new "Advanced Reviewers". I think what you're proposing is a great balance between the old system and the new.
02/12/2010
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Heather
In reading the many recent discussions on reviews, ratings and rankings there seems to me to be a real problem that has been brought up over and over again, inappropriate or unsafe practice being recommended in a review. I do see EF makes every ... More
We have something kind of like what you're suggesting, in the works. It's a Mentor Program. I don't want to spoil the surprise - but I will say that the suggestions for newer reviewers on how to improve and more actual involvement will be met. This will not be mandatory but will be available to anyone who wants to be a reviewer. Stay tuned
02/12/2010
Heartthrob Heartthrob
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
We have something kind of like what you're suggesting, in the works. It's a Mentor Program. I don't want to spoil the surprise - but I will say that the suggestions for newer reviewers on how to improve and more actual involvement will be ... More
Wow, sounds great.
02/14/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
We have something kind of like what you're suggesting, in the works. It's a Mentor Program. I don't want to spoil the surprise - but I will say that the suggestions for newer reviewers on how to improve and more actual involvement will be ... More
That does sound great, can't wait to hear more!
02/15/2010
Angel deSanguine Angel deSanguine
I know it has been mentioned already, but I want to again mention chatspeak/ textspeak (I hate it day to day and certainly hate reading it in what is supposed to be at least a somewhat professional context like a review.) I also really don't like seeing a slew of typos/ misspellings and misuse of common words (they're/ their/ there, for example) because again, at least to me, reviews should be written in at least a semiprofessional manner.
02/15/2010
Sassybunny85 Sassybunny85
Quote:
Originally posted by Heartthrob
One thing I have noticed is people suggesting anal play with everything from bullets to vibes which are not meant for such. I have noticed staff going into some of these reviews and putting up a disclaimer, which is good.
I try to point out to the contributor when this happens. I know a lot of people read this site looking for a toy for the first time, and I think it's crucial they know what not to use anally. We don't need to be blamed when someone loses a toy up their bum!
02/16/2010
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Unique posters: 51