Any tips for convincing husband to do anal-play?

  • Get a FREE Bullet with Orders $59+

Any tips for convincing husband to do anal-play?

MissMandii MissMandii
My husband and I have been together for 8 years and married for 3. Our sexlife has always been wonderful, and we have both always been open to just about anything, which is part of the reason I believe we both still have voracious sexual appetites and a healthy relationship. However, anytime I mention prostate massagers or even try to touch him around his perineum or anus he gets very rigid and pulls away from me. I would like to try it, it sound exciting and fun, and I think he would probably find he enjoys it. Have any of you had a similar issue? And if so how did you handle it?
11/18/2011
  • Buy 1 Toy, Get 1 FREE
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • Pick Any 2 E-Stim Toys, Get 60% Off A Kit
  • Stock Up On Gifts! Save 80%. Limited Quantity
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
squire squire
Good question. Although getting someone to do something they don't want to do isn't really cool, I think often times in relationships, especially long term relationships, many people get into the habit of not challenging themselves or their boundaries. With more long term relationships trust is often established to where we can nudge out partners out of their comfort zone, safely, or we should be able to ask for at least a discussion about this we want to try even though our partners might have reservations.

My partner and I enjoy prostate and anal play quite a bit, but it does take time and a gentle approach when first introducing it into your relationship. There are a ton of how-to posts on here so I wont bore you with talking about that aspect. I think you'll have better luck with creating a potential opportunity to play with your man's butt if you had a deep discussion about your sexualities, how they came to be, what messages you received about sex as children, how your potential faiths influence perceptions of what's "okay/dirty/sinful/ple asurable/taboo" ectect...By asking open ended non judgmental questions to really get a deeper sense of his reasons and how those were created, while also sharing in a deeper sense why it's important to you to at least try (if it's even a burning desire..) you most likely has a better chance of success, if not showing respect to each others sexuality and value as a partner Plus, younger guys, if he is young, tend to be a bit more hung up on these sorts of things in my experience. Takes time to grow into your sexuality and comfort zone, so if now is not the time, check in to see if you can revisit the topic later down the path in your relationship.
11/18/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMandii
My husband and I have been together for 8 years and married for 3. Our sexlife has always been wonderful, and we have both always been open to just about anything, which is part of the reason I believe we both still have voracious sexual appetites ...
I kind of expect that your problem is age related. In the late teens and twenties there is a fairly high need to prove 'I'm not gay' - to prove that your 1,000% guy - kinda the macho thing.

I didn't even think about anal interplay until my 50s. Not that you need to wait that long. I wish I hadn't the experience is fabulous.

Reassuring him that you see him as the Alpha-male is a good start. Young guys love the idea of shooting long and hard. I can guarantee you can make him really explode beyond anything he has ever experienced - tell him how much that would turn you on.

Last idea - make it kind of fun, tell him what's good for the goose is good for the gander! Your ass is just as sensitive as his - if he see you can enjoy - even orgasm from anal play - you can help him make the connection to his own sexual potential.
11/18/2011
Istanbull Istanbull
If you are already doing everything with him but anal with his rear, there's not much hope you can seduce him into it.

one thing's for sure, if he does break down and tried even a finger in there, you best give him the best lay he's had in a looong time or else you may not get a repeat performance. But if you pull it off, he'll start to associate him going anal with better sex even on a subconsious level.
11/19/2011
Ghost Ghost
I have the same problem!
11/19/2011
LQ LQ
Personally, I'm contrary by nature, so I'd just get a nice non-threatening anal toy of my own & let hubby catch me with it. This approach could work really well or could backfire completely, depending on the reasons for your husband's reluctance.

So whether or not that's an option to consider would depend upon your knowledge of your own relationship & how far you can take it or how he would react to that.
11/19/2011
geliebt geliebt
I think there's only so much you'll be able to do really, and if he's not into it then he's just not into it, but you could certainly try to just sit him down and say how you feel about it. If it excites you, let him know, and tell him why. Tell him what he might get out of it and make some suggestions as to what toys you might like to use.
And of course try to be as polite and understanding as possible!
I dunno how your relationship works, but this is what I would do in such a situation
11/22/2011
Chou Wang Chou Wang
Basically I was the same. The stigma of homosexuality is quite big in the society and the social circles I'm coming from. So my reaction to everything anal was "NO". However I love to fuck some nice and hot female ass So based on this Ex-Wife introduced me slowly and gently by talking about it, going down on me including "accidental" rim-jobs and so on and so forth. Then we went to a sex shop to get a small anal toy for her. We ended up buying that one blush ur3 anal starter so we played with it for some time on her before she started talking about trying that on my ass. Took her about 6-8 weeks until I spontaneously agreed. It's worse than crack, I'm hooked ever since.

Bottom line I am very stubborn. Usually my "NO" is not negotiable. But if you properly chunk it down into small "bite-size" bits. The cognitive virus starts to spread and the person eventually agrees. Also having a history of prostate related illness in my family as well as general statistics about this subject. It is not hard to convince one from a health point of view. Having incredible orgasms and reducing the risk of any prostate related crap is just amazing, I wish all preventive care would be like that.

I hope it helped!

P.S. I'm working on a reverse challenge now, trying to get my girl into that This is hard!!!
12/02/2011
ajwonder ajwonder
Does he do anal play with you? Meaning, do you let your butt pleasure him? Does he want to?

Maybe it's time to make a trade...!
12/08/2011
allinonekid allinonekid
Tie him down and plunge it in.
12/08/2011
pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMandii
My husband and I have been together for 8 years and married for 3. Our sexlife has always been wonderful, and we have both always been open to just about anything, which is part of the reason I believe we both still have voracious sexual appetites ...
I have never run into that, so I am not sure!
12/08/2011
ScottA ScottA
You can try with external perinium/"taint" stimluation. If you press during play (a blow job is a nice time) you can stimulate the prostate a little. If he likes that then you might be able to push the dialogue a little further.
12/08/2011
MR Chickhabit MR Chickhabit
drugs/booze always remove my inhibitions...
12/08/2011
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 13