Stretching out your butt hole

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Stretching out your butt hole

MissNellie MissNellie
MissNellie
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My husband is REALLY into anal sex and I am into it too at times. I was wondering what the best way was to stretch out my asshole because it's really tight and it sometimes really hurts when we have anal sex...when I'm hot and heavy into it I can get past it, but I want it to be stretched out enough so that when we do have anal sex I'm not in pain for the first 10 minutes...
08/06/2011
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ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
First thing first, if you are having pain, STOP!!! Anal play, no matter what kind, should not hurt. I would guess that since you are experiencing pain it is harder for you to relax, which is the key to anal play. You guys need to slow down and make sure that the anus is well stimulated before hand.

As far as toys go, find something that is the same size as your man. I recommend a dildo or vibe, a plug may work too but since the neck is smaller than the bulge it does not really help to stretch the anus. Once you find a toy the same size, work up to it slowly with other toys or fingers. Once you can get the dil/vibe in with no pain, then your man can get his fun, not until then.

Remember that pain is your body's way of telling you something is wrong, listen to your body, it knows what it's doing.
08/06/2011
RonLee RonLee
I agree wholeheartedly with everything that DWTim wrote.
I would however add that your husband should perhaps rim you before insertion. I've found this to really relax my partner and open her up, prior to intercourse.
08/06/2011
BlackxxxRose BlackxxxRose
The first two posters had it spot on. You need more playtime/warm up. Slow down, if it hurts then stop or slow down. It shouldn't hurt.
08/06/2011
JaxJim JaxJim
Anal play shouldn't cause pain. Anal play does create intense sensations, but you want to stop before pain.

A good lube, patience and a glass of wine will do wonders.
08/19/2011
ElleBee ElleBee
My goodness. I'm with the crowd, here. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong!
08/19/2011
Antipova Antipova
So, if what you were asking was "how do I warm up"---everybody seemed to answer you "For the love of everything sacred, warm up!" without giving you a lot of indication of how to do it.

So, here are my thoughts. When I was new to anal (young, still a virgin, etc), my very first toy was a hard plastic tube with a round end, I'd say it was similar to the Elodie, and I'd insert it on a pretty regular basis, probably every other night for a few years. It was easy because it was so firm, and the diameter was nothing challenging.

By the time anal sex first came up within the context of my relationship, I didn't need any warmup at all because I'd put in the "training" earlier. To this day, anything up to 1.25" and I won't need to warm up at all.

But, if I want to insert something bigger? Or if I know an anal session will be really rough and I want to make sure, in advance, that I can handle it? There are two things I'd suggest. First, you can stretch out with a tapered plug that goes to a size just a little larger than your partner's penis. Check out the Tantus Bronco, or something in a similar shape. Before your partner's even around, insert this a few times to loosen yourself up.

Another option is to use a plug with a thick neck, and wear it for an hour or so before sex. (You'll want to try that out without sex being planned, just to make sure it agrees with you, the first time). Maybe the Sexy Spades Small (I linked you Dwtim's review, because he talks about the neck a lot).

Hopefully one of those methods will get you stretched out in advance of your sessions with your husband. Good luck!
08/19/2011
ScottA ScottA
It should not hurt. Pain during anal can cause damage and is counterproductive (it makes you tense up more).

For all "normal" penises you really don't need to stretch. What you do need to do is relax, and that takes some learning. Because you have pain problems STOP AND GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING. Yes, I am yelling at you (sort of), but that's probably the only way that you'll ever have comfortable anal.

Start with a lubed finger (yours to start) around the outside of your anus. Get used to the sensations, start to enjoy them. Then slowly (think after a couple of days) move to penetration. Go in and out, around, stimulate the outside and penetrate again. Learn to enjoy this, that it can be pleasurable and does not mean pain is coming.

After about a week move to a small toy that's about an inch, or two fingers. Same thing, learn to enjoy it and learn to relax. Then about an inch and a quarter or and inch and a half. Enjoy, play with different positions, see what turns you on most.

At some point bring your partner into it. START BACK AT THE BEGINNING - you need to learn to trust him. Outside play for a while, single finger play, and so forth.

Eventually you'll be comfortable enough to go from a little warmup to a penis sized dildo on your own. Then it will be time to consider "full" penis-anal sex again, but make sure you can trust your partner to stop if you say so, and make sure you can trust yourself to say stop if it hurts.
08/19/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by MissNellie
My husband is REALLY into anal sex and I am into it too at times. I was wondering what the best way was to stretch out my asshole because it's really tight and it sometimes really hurts when we have anal sex...when I'm hot and heavy into it I ...
1. Anal play should not hurt. If it does you are using wrong positions for you, and not enough lube and moving too fast.
2. Forget the "doggy style", and try laying on your left side with him "spooning" you or your butt at the edge of the bed, him standing behind you, as a "starter" position.
3. Later try being in a missionary position with legs up on his shoulders, or feet on his chest, and GOING SLOW for a great, COMFORTABLE anal experience.
Again...USE TOO MUCH LUBE...then add MORE.

IT SHOULD NOT HURT!!!

As for stretching.....NOTHING beats my hubbys fingers opening me up with gentle play for a few minutes prior to penis penetration. I have a number of SLENDER anal toys...NOTHING over 1 inch diameter, in general. Also, I sometimes wear a SMALL...TINY...anal plug either around the house, during oral/vaginal sex, or even out on the town (with lots of extra lube in my purse or pocket, to reapply), in preparation for a LONG anal sex play session. Either way, you don't really need to STRETCH, beyond getting the muscle (like all muscles) ready for a work out. The goal is NOT to change the fact you are tight (so am I), but to allow the muscle to RELAX so it is ALL GAIN, NO PAIN.
02/25/2012
comatose-kitty comatose-kitty
i'd say a plug & lots of lube. and go slow
02/26/2012
Dreaus Dreaus
I would suggest successively larger plugs with an unbelievable amount of lube. Or a “stepped” plug with graduated sizes.
Link
02/26/2012
Talena Talena
I had the pain issue in the past which is why I hated anal sex. But I got the anal start (horrible material but great dildo) and I play with that, then another toy, and then him...and its pain free all the way.
06/22/2012
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 12