Ways to make Anal more pleasurable! Tips here!?

  • Get a Free Rabbit Vibe with Orders $59+

Ways to make Anal more pleasurable! Tips here!?

fifi fifi
So... I was browsing through this category, and noticed a question that has come up a few times, and that a really easy tip to help was never mentioned.

The question was: How to make anal sex more pleasurable/hurt less/easier to start with??

One tip i've found that works very well, besides obviously using lube and warming up with finger play, is when you're first being penetrated by an object anally, you breathe deeply inwards, which relaxes your anus and kind of reflexively makes the muscles widen and open. When it is someone else doing the penetrating, she/he says soothingly to breathe in, you do so, they insert a little as you do, then repeat until whatever the object may be is in as far as desired.

Does anyone else have any suggestions that aren't frequently posted? Anal play can be a lot of fun, but scary for people who have never done it before. So share your ideas on how to make it more comfortable! Maybe there is a thread like this somewhere, but i couldn't find it, so figured it would hurt to start a new one and have it at the front of the lists
09/29/2011
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I think that folks should always start out with solo play. There is no worry or rush involved. A person needs to self explore first to truly be comfy. Reading up on anal play would help out a lot of folks too, so many just decide to do it and have no idea about how the anus works.

I highly recommend this book, Anal Pleasure and Health even for folks that have no desire for anal play. Lot of awesome info in there.

Set the mood, a nice bath, some soft music, maybe some candles, anything to help you relax. Make sure you have plenty of time so you are not in a rush.

Another tip I have heard is to "Push" out when the toy/penis is inserted.
09/29/2011
fifi fifi
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I think that folks should always start out with solo play. There is no worry or rush involved. A person needs to self explore first to truly be comfy. Reading up on anal play would help out a lot of folks too, so many just decide to do it and have no ...
Hi Dw! Thanks for the link to the book, that will be useful for learning more about this subject

And the breathing suggestion I said gives the same effect as "pushing", but is psychologically easier (at least from what i've read and experienced) for people to grasp, and to be comfortable with. Breathing, which is an essential aspect of life, comes naturally and comfortably, and takes the focus off of your anus and onto your breath, lungs, and the air itself.

And I agree, setting a mood and taking your time, allowing yourself to relax is very important for a pleasurable anal experience
09/29/2011
Nothere Nothere
I'm interested in the idea of anal toys. But, I'm not sure how that might be pleasurable. What kind of toy, how to hold it, what spots to stimulate etc... I will look at that book though!
09/29/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by fifi
So... I was browsing through this category, and noticed a question that has come up a few times, and that a really easy tip to help was never mentioned.

The question was: How to make anal sex more pleasurable/hurt less/easier to start ...
Anal can be fun if its done right, I agree with the relaxing part it really helped with me and my man when we first did it, he had never done anal with anyone before and he was scared he would hurt me..
09/30/2011
MaryExy MaryExy
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I think that folks should always start out with solo play. There is no worry or rush involved. A person needs to self explore first to truly be comfy. Reading up on anal play would help out a lot of folks too, so many just decide to do it and have no ...
I agree on solo play first, and relaxation is definitely key.
09/30/2011
ScottA ScottA
There are a couple of things. First: definitely solo play. Lubed solo play - spit doesn't cut it. Start with external stimulation, and learn how your body reacts and what the sensations are like. Once you are used to the sensations you can try inserting a lubed finger and learn how your body reacts to that. Deep, slow breathing is great, as are slow moves. Move on to a larger toy or two fingers.

The next important thing is to start all over again when you bring your partner in. Your partner is someone else, and they need to learn how you react and you need to learn how to trust them. Start with the external stimulation, then the internal. After that you can move in whatever direction you want, but keep in mind that if you move too fast and cause yourself pain you may need to start over from the beginning.
09/30/2011
Jaimes Jaimes
I've had luck with using a bullet or a vibe externally to help get my attention focused somewhere else. We also started off by introducing fingers while I was superior. I got to experience a really fun feeling, without it being painful, and it made me more keen to go all the way.
09/30/2011
fifi fifi
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
Anal can be fun if its done right, I agree with the relaxing part it really helped with me and my man when we first did it, he had never done anal with anyone before and he was scared he would hurt me..
I think that's a very big fear for many men when they're experimenting for the first time! As much as us girls don't want to be hurt from it, i think sometimes it scares the guys even more because if they care about you, they're terrified their inexperience may hurt you. Thank you for bringing up that aspect of it as well! And it can be fun if done right
10/01/2011
fifi fifi
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
There are a couple of things. First: definitely solo play. Lubed solo play - spit doesn't cut it. Start with external stimulation, and learn how your body reacts and what the sensations are like. Once you are used to the sensations you can try ...
Those are all very good points, a lot of people forget to do graduated baby steps when doing anal, especially if they're new to it. Going to big things too quickly, or not using proper lube is going to make it a very painful experience, or more painful than need be at any rate. Thanks for contributing to my inquiry!
10/01/2011
fifi fifi
Quote:
Originally posted by Jaimes
I've had luck with using a bullet or a vibe externally to help get my attention focused somewhere else. We also started off by introducing fingers while I was superior. I got to experience a really fun feeling, without it being painful, and it ...
Another excellent thought, thanks!
10/01/2011
livingadnauseum livingadnauseum
Something that I have been wondering about are what are the better lubes to use for anal play? I, too, have been thinking about experimenting with anal stimulation but I've read/heard that a lot of the simple water-based lubricants that are decent for vaginal penetration/toys/stimu lation/whathaveyou aren't as equipped for anal. Although there's not a lot to be lost by going with the industry standard of Astroglide, but I'm just curious if there are some other brands/specific differences to be aware of or look for when shopping for anal lube.
10/01/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by livingadnauseum
Something that I have been wondering about are what are the better lubes to use for anal play? I, too, have been thinking about experimenting with anal stimulation but I've read/heard that a lot of the simple water-based lubricants that are ...
Any lube will work but the thicker lubes (Consistency of hair gel) work better, the stay put better and typically last longer.

Silicone and oil based lubes work pretty good too but they are not as thick and they are not compatible with all materials. They are the lube of choice for shower play.

I can't speak for anal sex but for toy play I use Maximus with my soft material toys (Silicone, rubber etc.) and Better Sex Essentials (silicone) and ID Him (oil) lube for my glass and stainless toys.

The main thing to remember is that the anus/rectum does not produce a natural lube, so always use plenty. When you think you have enough, add more. There is no such thing as too much lube.
10/02/2011
Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
number one thing we've found to make anal more pleasurable is rimming.
10/02/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by fifi
So... I was browsing through this category, and noticed a question that has come up a few times, and that a really easy tip to help was never mentioned.

The question was: How to make anal sex more pleasurable/hurt less/easier to start ...
I find a lot of warm up helps. Also, I have to usually have an orgasm before we have anal sex. It totally relaxes me, and makes anal so beautiful that I'll usually come again.

Take your time, use plenty of lube, make sure you have an orgasm first, and take it S-L-O-W-L-Y.
10/02/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by livingadnauseum
Something that I have been wondering about are what are the better lubes to use for anal play? I, too, have been thinking about experimenting with anal stimulation but I've read/heard that a lot of the simple water-based lubricants that are ...
We use Sliquid Ride H2O for anal and toys and everything else. It's great stuff. It's water based and is thick enough for long anal sessions, as well.
10/02/2011
Paladin Fantasys Paladin Fantasys
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
We use Sliquid Ride H2O for anal and toys and everything else. It's great stuff. It's water based and is thick enough for long anal sessions, as well. ...
We'd second that! Sliquid Ride H2O for anal and now vaginal choice for the dryer menopausal vagina. Lube, lube, and lube again for pain free anal.

Aside from lube, the number one anal tip for avoiding pain, is a two pronged approach: 1) slowly as necessary to let the involuntary muscles of the anus relax, 2) focused concentration on allowing that relaxation to happen. Said otherwise, to avoid anal pain, never force an anus open.

A few minutes ago I decided to wear my Tantus Ryder. I wear it near daily, am obviously very receptive to it, but it still takes a varying amount of time to fully insert it without pain. Usually I'll thrust gently until I feel the involuntary contraction, then hold the plug in place and concentrate on relaxing the contracting sphincter. Repeat as necessary until the widest point of the toy is passed, then the sphincter naturally contracts along the "down slope" and pulls the plug the rest of the way in and I can enjoy.

It takes different amounts of time and types of stimulation for everybody. An episode of HBO's Real Sex depicted an anal sex clinic for couples. The teacher said it will be obvious when a person is ready for further penetration, because the anus will relax to allow it.

You can feel it happen with say your finger, but you can also see it happen. We tried a little vibratory stimulation of my wife's anal opening with a condomed Lollipopper, while she was Hitachiing her clit. At one point she eagerly pushed toward the Lollipopper as she started to orgasm, her hips suddenly relaxed and anal orifice visibly relaxed and she pushed against the toy taking about an inch of it in. That was only her second anal experience ever, probably would have been the last if I had started thrusting it that deep before she was ready.

We changed condoms on the Lollipopper and she then did me, beginning slowly as always is needed to will the anus to relax, but she was able to vigorously thrust the whole thing for me in a very short amount of time. Mostly because I am experienced enough now to mentally control sphincter contractions quicker.

In summary take you time and practice often.
10/02/2011
fifi fifi
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Any lube will work but the thicker lubes (Consistency of hair gel) work better, the stay put better and typically last longer.

Silicone and oil based lubes work pretty good too but they are not as thick and they are not compatible with all ...
Thanks for remembering to bring up the point that the anus/rectum does not produce a natural lube, so it's always better to add what you think will be "extra" lube. It's also not a bad thing to pause while inside your partner to add more lube if you start to feel like there's too much friction. It'll be far more uncomfortable to run out of lube than to pause for a few minutes. If you don't want to have to reinsert whatever is doing the penetrating, you can pull out part ways, cover the shaft with lube, and then slowly insert again, the lube will work it's way up as sex continues.
10/06/2011
chulis chulis
of course lube does help and the finger as well gets it ready and more relaxed. Size does mater to if to big in girth a little uncomfortable. also if ur putting it into the opening it is always best to go very slow and once he gets the head in i would suggest to leave in for a moment it helps to relax you and then he should go further and further into u slowly and then when you are comfortable pound away. I also suggest trying (different positions with different penises). I know that its more comfortable for myself to first start off in the missionary position its more comfortable to insert after you are are relaxed down stairs its go time and its good whatever position.
11/17/2011
geliebt geliebt
For me, I think communication and trust with my partner are almost more important than some of the physical tips! Of course, all the bodily stuff is important, but it just can't happen for me unless there's a deep level of trust already there. I need to know I can communicate with my partner however I need to to keep things fun!
11/22/2011
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 13