warming a dildo

Go for silicone dildos, definitely. As I understand from your fantasy the dildo might be used also for anal play, hence, you'd better get a silicone toy as it's not porous, thus, doesn't attract bacterias and dirts. Also they can be sterilized by boiling or/and even washed in a dish-washer.

That's a fantasy of mine as well, so I totally understand.
As far as warming up, metal dildos will change temperature the most quickly, but for obvious reasons they cannot be put in the microwave. Glass is probably safest in the microwave, but 100% silicone toys can also be put in the microwave for 20 seconds to warm them up. Boiling is too hot for a realistic temp, but warm water would work fine for all of these toy materials as well.
I personally think that metal is a more intimidating material for a dildo than glass and silicone. Silicone is softer than glass making it more comfortable.
In conclusion, I might suggest the Small Silk by Tantus:
link
if you are really concered about size.
If you think she might be willing to go a little bit larger, then the Boy 1 by Downunder Toys might not be a bad choice as well:
link
Make sure you talk to her about this stuff and HAVE FUN!

If you just want a dildo to be warm, I usually wash mine under the sink for around 3 minutes or leave it in a bowl full of warm water.

As for what type of dildo. Definitely go silicone. link only has a circumference of 4".

Don't microwave! Boiling is good for cleaning, but for warm-up before play, immersing in a bowl of warm water should do it.

For realism- definitely go with silicone. If you want to spring for it, I would recommend getting something from the Vixskin line, like Goodfella. Those are about the most realistic-feeling dildos you'll find, and that one in particular has free-hanging balls.

Microwave, bad. Hot water, good. Test on the inside of your wrist before taking it ANYWHERE near the naughty bits.

Silcione FTW (for the win!)!

Thanks for your input everyone! I will try soaking my dildo some hot water prior to use. We have been using a cyberskin extender currently and am browsing this site for silicone. Will let you know how it all works out.

The jury is still out with heating the dildo. I tried using warm bath water prior to the fun, but by the time we got into it, the cock cooled down rather quickly. This was cyberskin. Anyone know how long silicone takes to cool down. i.e. do I need to have a pot of hot water by the bed?

Also. Look into the Heart Massager here... you boil it on the stove, I've rested dildos on top of it plenty of times to warm them up.. it works quite well.

That's a very good idea sleeping dreamer.
Threesome, since you ran into trouble, I will suggest that if the dildo will be sitting after being warmed up that you make it a little warmer than you want it to be and dry it off completely afterward and then keep it wrapped in a towel so that it is insulated against the cool air of the room. Also, make sure you give it some time at the warm temperature so that the heat is able to penetrate all the way into the toy (especially if it is silicone) so that the heat will take longer to escape as well.

Thanks to all who contributed! I recently bought a silicone Mustang. Yes, silicone does make all the difference! It seems to stay closer to room air temp at rest and warms up very fast! I use a heating pad prior to play and that seems to do the trick! Also warm up the lube in the heating pad at the same time because that can be the source of coldness too!

Don't microwave or boil something and then immediately put it near skin. A heating pad will do nicely.

most will end up melting

Honestly I've been warming them up with my hands all these years... sure, warm water or a heating pad will work, but most of the time it's going to be too labor intensive. With VixSkin a nice handjob at the start gets them up to body temp within minutes.

Silicone in a hot water bath in the sink.

We put it under an electric blanket. It's ready when we are.

I like the blanket idea!