Do you feel guilty if you give a gift or gifts that cost much more than the ones you recieve? What about when your gift costs less than the one you recieve?

vegan.guy vegan.guy
Do you feel guilty if you give a gift or gifts that cost much more than the ones you recieve? What about if the gift you give costs much less than the one you recieve?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I feel guilty if I spend more on the gifts I give
I feel bad when I spend less on the gifts I give
null , ichwillwaffels , Xavier7 , charip , hjtee , padmeamidala , Shellz31 , kelaaa33wish
8
I feel bad/ guilty in both of those situations
Valentinka , Pleasure Piratess , REDRUM , potstickers , dv8 , starsNairguitars , MaryExy , Eucaly
8
I don't feel bad/ guilty in either of those situations
ToyTimeTim , *HisMrs* , Adam02viper , Gallowraven , Vaccinium , Airen Wolf , DeliciousSurprise , Alan & Michele , Darling Jen , Lady Venus , Jobthingy , darthkitt3n , pinkcupcakes , Angel deSanguine , HoneyHoney , Kaltir , *Ashley* , sexyintexas , Dizzykakes , cujo467 , Devz , Wondermom , P'Gell , LostBoy988
24
Other
Taylor , BeautiFullFigured , Bignuf , iveversxe , P'Gell , Envy
6
Total votes: 46 (45 voters)
Poll is closed
02/15/2011
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ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
It really is the thought that counts.
02/15/2011
Adam02viper Adam02viper
I Agree with Dwtim about its the thought that counts, but also unless you set a price limit then the gifts will always be different prices.
02/15/2011
vegan.guy vegan.guy
Quote:
Originally posted by Adam02viper
I Agree with Dwtim about its the thought that counts, but also unless you set a price limit then the gifts will always be different prices.
That's true. I guess what I meant was do you feel bad if there's a decent sized price gap.
02/15/2011
Gallowraven Gallowraven
I don't feel guilty about cost. I feel bad if I get something the person doesn't like. I they to give gifts based on how useful the item is.
02/15/2011
Taylor Taylor
I think it depends on the situation. There have been times where I felt uncomfortable about spending too much/little on a gift. If it's someone I'm really close to like family or a close friend I usually don't feel as bad as I do when it's something like an office gift exchange. With family I feel like they know my situation enough to be understanding of whatever I decided to give them

I guess for me the times where I felt I spent the "wrong" amount on a gift, I was more concerned about it looking like a faux pas than actually feeling guilt about it.
02/15/2011
BeautiFullFigured BeautiFullFigured
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I think it depends on the situation. There have been times where I felt uncomfortable about spending too much/little on a gift. If it's someone I'm really close to like family or a close friend I usually don't feel as bad as I do when ... More
Ditto.
02/16/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
It doesn't bother me. The thought that goes into a gift is what matters to me. If I bought some standard run-of-the-mill gift for someone that was more expensive that what they got me, I might feel guilty. However, if I put a lot of thought into it and it happened to be more expensive, I wouldn't feel guilty at all. The same goes for the reverse situation. For example, last night I gave my wife a nice dinner, a carnelian and pearl necklace, and some fine chocolate, and she got me a card. If it was a card that said nothing more than "Happy Valentine's Day", I'd have felt a bit guilty, but because what she wrote was so heartfelt and were words I haven't heard from her in a long time,there was no reason for me to feel guilty.
02/16/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by vegan.guy
Do you feel guilty if you give a gift or gifts that cost much more than the ones you recieve? What about if the gift you give costs much less than the one you recieve?
I give gifts that I would like to receive regardless of cost. I also try to tailor my gifts to the actual recipient.
02/16/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I have this theory on gift-giving, in terms of value. The gift is only as valuable as the value that the recipient puts on it.

Example: If my mother buys me tickets--FRONT ROW tickets to see Black Sabbath (do they tour, still? Play along, if they're not ). While I would appreciate that she thought of me enough to spend the time to get me these tickets, they wouldn't be really valuable to me, because Black Sabbath doesn't mean anything to me. The monetary value of the tickets would be wasted on me. On the other hand, if my best friend makes me an electronic scrapbook page that costs her nothing, monetarily, that could be worth far far more than those pricey Black Sabbath tickets.


So it's not about the cost, or the money. It's about value.
02/16/2011
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
It really is the thought that counts.
Exactly. I buy things for people because I think they can benefit from it. Makes them laugh, makes them smile, relaxing whatever.

What does piss me off though is when I see my gifts at another friends house from the same circle cause it has been regifted. I mean, at least make an effort to give it outside the circle where I wont see it.
02/16/2011
Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by vegan.guy
Do you feel guilty if you give a gift or gifts that cost much more than the ones you recieve? What about if the gift you give costs much less than the one you recieve?
I feel guilty when my gift costs less.
02/16/2011
potstickers potstickers
I feel bad when my gift costs less, but also when I've spent more as sometimes it feels like the other person(s) didn't really try either.
02/16/2011
HoneyHoney HoneyHoney
I really don't think about it. You can have an awesome gift and have it cost $10. And then get a crappy gift that costs $50. There's no way to even it out if you don't set a price limit beforehand. So I never feel guilty or bad. I just like to get something I know someone will like/use/eat.
02/16/2011
BeautiFullFigured BeautiFullFigured
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
I have this theory on gift-giving, in terms of value. The gift is only as valuable as the value that the recipient puts on it.

Example: If my mother buys me tickets--FRONT ROW tickets to see Black Sabbath (do they tour, still? Play along, if ... More
Spot on how I feel, just couldn't find the words myself. Some people say "It's the thought that counts" I interpret that as it's the amount of thought and consideration that went into picking the gift, not just the thought of remembering the special occasion and giving them a gift. So yes the personal value to the receiver of the gift is most important. For example, I once made a personalized shower/bath set for a friend because I remembered she once said she liked pamper herself to a sort of spa treatment when taking a bath. This same friend gave me a candle holder in the shape of a snowman's head. This was after I had mentioned a few days prior that I hated holiday themed gifts because of impracticality of only being able to enjoy them around that holiday. However had she gotten me a non-themed candle holder I would have been really happy. The price didn't matter to me.
02/16/2011
charip charip
Gift giving can seem like a no-win situation. You want to be the one spending more money, because you don't want to feel cheaper than the other, but at the same time, you don't want to spend lots of money and break the bank. I've found that if you get together and determine a price range, guilty feelings aren't nearly as bad. I feel that if I give them what they want (especially if they tell me), I shouldn't feel guilty, but I will also ask for something in the same price range.
03/12/2011
Kaltir Kaltir
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
It really is the thought that counts.
Exactly.
03/28/2011
hjtee hjtee
I feel a little bad when I spend less on someone than they spend on me. It usually depends on the person though.
04/07/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by vegan.guy
Do you feel guilty if you give a gift or gifts that cost much more than the ones you recieve? What about if the gift you give costs much less than the one you recieve?
Im just happy that people take the time to remember.
04/07/2011
starsNairguitars starsNairguitars
I know that my boyfriend is really intimidated by the fact that I make more money than him....I feel guilty if I spend more on him because I know that it bothers him but then again I feel equally as bad if I spend less than him
05/11/2011
uu uu
I don't feel guilty.
05/11/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by vegan.guy
Do you feel guilty if you give a gift or gifts that cost much more than the ones you recieve? What about if the gift you give costs much less than the one you recieve?
Depends who the gift is going to and the occasion. With my spouse, we are both way, WAY beyond that. Sometimes his gifts are amazing and expensive, other times mine are. Whatever...it is the thought concerning what they might need or want that makes all the difference. Price is not an issue. When giving gifts to others, for instance, Secret Pals, at work, or such, yes, I might feel bad if I gave something a lot "cheesier" then what others have given or what I got, so I usually tend to the higher end...same with wedding or shower gifts. I am, thankfully, able to do that financially. Not everyone can, and NO ONE should break their bank account to give someone a gift more expensive then they can comfortably afford to give with real joy.
06/24/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
It really is the thought that counts.
yup, I don't care about the price tags, just about the thought put into it. You can spend thousands on some shiny piece of jewelry or perfume for me but I will hate it, and will love the $9 slippers from walmart because thought was put into it about my likes and dislikes.
06/24/2011
Eucaly Eucaly
I'm made to feel guilty regardless, because my relatives are just that way. Every gift is too expensive or too cheap.

I actually buy everything very cheap. The "expensive" ones merely look expensive; I have an eye for bargains. Telling them this does no good whatsoever. They do not believe even with proof shown.
06/24/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
I would tend to feel uncomfy if my gift to someone was a lot less than what they spent on me. Mainly cause I feel they shouldn't waste so much on me. I don't require expensive gifts - I don't require gifts at all. I'd rather do the giving.
And when I do give, I like to give the person the best I possibly can. But sometimes money just doesn't stretch quite that far.
06/24/2011
LostBoy988 LostBoy988
Its the thought that counts
06/24/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I grew up in a home where my mother skimped on everything She refused to spend a dime, even when it was necessary. I rarely ever got any clothing anywhere near fashionable, and I was teased mercilessly for my Sears Outlet crap. She'll sacrifice quality to save a few dollars. I hate that. The thing is, my parents COULD afford it, they were just cheap.

In my personal philosophy, Extreme Thrift is a thinly disguised form of Greed. One is no better than the other.

I'd rather go into debt (and have) and get my kids everything they NEED and at least SOME of the things they want (of course, not everything they want, but at least some of the things they want, some of the time) and I have the same policy when it comes to gift giving. They will look back and say, "I never went without. I also at times got things I wanted a great deal." I know I did go without and it effected me terribly.


"Give until it hurts" is what I believe in. When I buy (or occasionally bake for gifts) people gifts, I buy quality, or use quality ingredients. I remember things they have said, so I can get the RIGHT gift, and I try to make the gift special. I NEVER EVER re-gift, I think its tacky. I'll go to 10 stores to get someone exactly what I think is the perfect gift for them. And, although I don't usually go overboard no one has ever EVER called me cheap. People rarely if ever return what I get them, or have that "Oh, shit." look on their face when they open something I have gotten them. (I do ALWAYS include the return gift receipt, for a purchased gift, in case the person already has or doesn't like what I got them. Obviously, you can't do that with baked and cooked gifts, but I keep a list of my friends and family's allergies and likes and dislikes so I won't bake them something they can't eat or don't like.)

Yes, it is "the thought that counts." But, giving a gift NO thought, no time or no output of energy doesn't count.

I understand the economy sucks, we've certainly felt it. But, that doesn't mean one shouldn't try and put as much into a gift for someone one loves as possible. So, yeah, if I skimped on a gift for someone, and could have afforded more, I certainly would feel guilty. When things are tight, I do the best I can with what I have, and still manage to go all out for the people I love. They deserve it.

I can't take it with me, so I'll spend what I think is a good amount and a good amount of time and effort for the people I care about.
06/24/2011
Envy Envy
I think it depends. Sometimes i give handmade gifts that i spent a deal of time on, and you can't really place a value on that. Other times I have friends who give me gifts that are 'cheap' per say, but most don't have jobs, so I don't mind, I understand fully. I still get them something nice, even if it costs a little more because i appreciate the friendship they give me and the fact they're there for me.

There's always exceptions, though. like in the case of my aunt and uncle. I love my uncle to pieces, but his wife likes to spend money left and right, and now all I pretty much get is joke or filler gifts, nothing really practical or useful, so now I do bare minimum back. I don't like to, but with how his wife is, who's to say it'll be kept and not sold on Ebay anyway?

So yeah, it all depends.
06/24/2011
Total posts: 28
Unique posters: 26