Help Requested For Gift Ideas For My Niece and Her New Husband (Please, Please, Please!)

Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
My niece who is about ten years younger than me recently married. We have fallen out of touch over the past few years and I've never met her husband. But I do want to send them both a nice gift that they could enjoy together.

She is registered at a couple of home stores (like Bed Bath & Beyond), but I was thinking it might be nice to get them something more indulgent, like a massage candle by JimmyJane and a couple of JimmyJane's massage stones.

Instead of two massage stones and a massage candle, I also considered getting her the Afterglow massage candle, the M massage stone, and an Iconic Bullet, Iconic Smoothie, or Indulgences kit (though, unfortunately, it seems as though the kit has some quality-control issues). But I am not sure if that would be crossing some invisible "inappropriate" line or not to actually include a vibrator with my gift. (Also, I don't want it to seem like I am gearing the gift more toward my niece, though I envisioned any toy being used more for fun couple's play.)

Do you think this might be a little weird for an aunt to send her niece and her new husband more intimate gifts, such as the ones I described? My extended family is extremely vanilla, but I have no idea what interests my niece has (though I think she definitely has a fun side).

Should I instead just go the boring route and pick something from Bed Bath & Beyond or send them a gift certificate from a vanilla home store? Or should I be bold and send her something she may have never tried, may love, and may enhance time spent with her new husband?

To me, part of the fun of receiving a gift is to receive something that you would not normally splurge on for yourself. For example, I'd love to try the massage candles and massage stones, but I keep telling myself that they are simply too much of a splurge when I should put my money toward something more practical.

So, these types of things are my idea of a most indulgent and welcome gift.

I keep dragging my feet in making a selection for them and I am determined to finally get a gift on its way to them before the end of this week.

Opinions? Suggestions? Either or both would be greatly appreciated.
09/15/2010
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Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
My niece who is about ten years younger than me recently married. We have fallen out of touch over the past few years and I've never met her husband. But I do want to send them both a nice gift that they could enjoy together.

She is ... More
Personally I'd feel more comfortable giving my family members the massage stones and cnadle and I wouldn't give them anything vibrating unless I knew they would like it and wouldn't be offended or think it was odd.
09/15/2010
Alegria Alegria
Candles have always been the gift you get someone when you aren't sure what else they might want. However, if she see's that it's a more 'intimate' design, she'll probably know that you put thought into it. I think getting a personal massager/vibrator would be crossing a line, especially if you aren't very close.

If I were you, I would buy the stones, a candle and perhaps a nice Merlot to round off the honeymoon-style package.

If you do decide to get them a vibrator, perhaps include a cutesy note and act like it was a gag gift. Most people try them out anyways
09/15/2010
Kindred Kindred
I think the massage stones would be a great gift that they can use together. Plus, it might start them down a more intimate path if they are not already.

Another possibility would maybe be an EF gift card and somehow pass along a list of items ranging from intimate to sexual that you might recommend they use it on. Maybe you could create a wishlist and print it out to include with the gift card. That way they can discuss if they simply want something intimate and romantic like candles/massage stones or want to try something more adventurous.

Good luck. Whatever you decide I'm sure they will love and appreciate your gift.
09/15/2010
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
Personally I'd feel more comfortable giving my family members the massage stones and cnadle and I wouldn't give them anything vibrating unless I knew they would like it and wouldn't be offended or think it was odd.
I agree. Something that they would regularly have like a candle or lotion seems like a good idea but any thing that vibrates would seem a bit personal, especially since you don't know the guy and you haven't been in touch lately. But, if you think she/they wouldn't mind, they it's your call. But think about this, if you have never met him and when you do, he'll think, "Oh yeah, that's the aunt that got us the bullet, That was ..."
09/15/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Thanks, all of you, for the feedback. It is much appreciated. I have definitely now nixed the idea of including anything vibrating with my gift!

I love the idea of sending them the massage candle and massage stones. But, I just didn't know if most people would consider this to be a good gift or if a "home gift," such as dishes or towels would be more appreciated (though much more boring).

One thing I should do though is to contact her and see if either of them have allergies. To my knowledge, my niece does not, but her husband might. That could be a problem in sending them the massage candle -- not only the scent might cause problems, but there could also be skin allergies which could be aggravated by the massage oil from the candle.

I had been holding out for the Dark Vanilla scent since I know she loves vanilla (and it is also a unisex scent that both could appreciate). Unfortunately, it has not been restocked. I suppose I could try the Cucumber Water scent (if neither of them has allergies and can tolerate scent).
09/15/2010
kck kck
Yeah, I'd be down with receiving a candle and massage stones. If I got a vibrator (or any other sex toy) from my relative, I'd be beyond weirded out. I think the candle/stones idea is very sweet and thoughtful. It's a great idea, really. I think as long as the gift is more sensual than sexual, you're golden

And adding the Merlot for a honeymoon kinda gift is such a great idea!!!!
09/15/2010
Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
Thanks, all of you, for the feedback. It is much appreciated. I have definitely now nixed the idea of including anything vibrating with my gift!

I love the idea of sending them the massage candle and massage stones. But, I just ... More
I definitely agree with the massage candle and massage stones. If you wanted to get more, there are some neat little "romantic games" you could get or some of the sensual products like the Kama Sutra stuff.

I think they would consider it to be a unique gift - I know I would. They'll probably be getting tons of housewarming stuff, so something that will just help them appreciate each other would be nice.
09/15/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Thanks for the feedback, both of you!

I think I was just wanting some encouragement that this was even a good idea. I definitely was going for something "sweet and thoughtful" that would "help them appreciate each other," as you've phrased it.

While it's great to receive many housewarming gifts, I love the idea of a gift that refocuses their attention back on each other. They just moved into a house they had built from the ground up, so I know they have spent a lot of time and energy focusing on their house (decorating, planting trees, etc.). I just wanted to give a gift that was personal and meant only for THEM and their interpersonal relationship -- and not just a gift to add to their home collections.

Though I do understand and appreciate how important their new house is to them, it is their relationship that makes it a home and not just any old (or, in this case, new) house. Hope this makes sense!
09/15/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I would say what you were already thinking...the Jimmy Jane massage line. I am getting this for newly weds as well.

Another alternative is any of the large sets from Shunga.
09/15/2010
SydVicious SydVicious
I have to agree with everyone the Candle and stones, and JimmyJane items are just so beautifully packaged. I think it would be a wonderful gift.
09/16/2010
ScottA ScottA
Make up your own not-too-sexual "honeymoon kit" with the massage stuff and some other things you think they might like. I'd avoid anything too sex-toyish unless you really know both of them and that they'd be OK with it. Imagine writing the thank-you letter if you were uncomfortable with the idea?
09/16/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Unless you are close to the couple, I'd go with non-sexual gifts. Massage stones and the candle might be OK. It depends if either of them have set up housekeeping and have furnishing, linens, pots and pans, etc before the wedding.

I know My Man and I needed EVERYTHING we put on my wedding gift list. All he had in his apartment was old broken crap from his parent's house, and I had nothing but a few old sets of sheets. And we had no money. Our wedding and shower literally gave us enough stuff to get our kitchen, bathroom and bedroom started. We had nothing. I'd say, if they already have a lot of stuff, then go ahead with the stones and candle, if they are poor or very young and have little, I can assure you, sticking with what they have said they needed on the list at Bed Bath and Beyond or Carsons or where-ever is appreciated by the Young and the Poor.
09/16/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I greatly appreciate all the feedback from all of you.

I believe I will talk with my niece and try to get a feel for whether they have most of the household items that they need. Just like you, P'Gell, my husband and I definitely needed lots of basic household items when we married and we were struggling financially, so I can definitely relate to what you're saying.

My niece has lived on her own for quite some time and she and her husband were already living together before they were married, so I am not sure how many more household items they are in dire need of acquiring. But, since they are in a new house, I realize it can be a challenge to adequately furnish all the rooms -- so that is certainly something to keep in mind.

If I find out that they are not in dire need of household goods (and don't have allergies or scent sensitivity), I will most likely go ahead with the massage candle and massage stone gift idea, just to give them an indulgent gift that they will hopefully use to enhance their time together.
09/16/2010
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
When it comes to sex, I do say you can't go wrong with a gift card. If someone sent me massage stones and a candle (I'm super picky about scents) I probably wouldn't have much use for them. Most of the time I'm of the mind that a personal gift is better, but at least with an EF gift card they can choose by what they are into whether it is toys or lingerie.
09/17/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
I greatly appreciate all the feedback from all of you.

I believe I will talk with my niece and try to get a feel for whether they have most of the household items that they need. Just like you, P'Gell, my husband and I definitely needed ... More
If they've been on their own for a while, they most likely have a lot of House stuff. You know to check the Registry. I find if the Registry is a lot of really High End stuff, or Bar Stuff, they probably already have a houseful of Housewares and Linens.

My brother's Registry for his 3rd marriage (yep) had mostly Bar Stuff, High End pots and pans and toys (NOT sex toys, but I found out after the wedding they were wanting a Liberator. I wish I'd known, we'd have bought it for them.) Because he had TONS of stuff. His ex wives took a lot, but neither of them cooked, and he's a gourmet, so he got the pots and pans and kitchen things. My Mom got him a very expensive set of pots and pans. I was like, "Jeez, maybe I'll get married again, just to get that cool stuff." He and I have a really playful relationship, so it was funny.

I think the candle and the stones are a lovely gift for the couple who already has set up HouseKeeping. I know, now, I'd LOVE that stuff for a gift.
09/17/2010
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 12