Yeah, whatever the two of you are comfortable with. And, of course, whatever the army's cool with!
My wife doesn't like any sex toys other than her Hitachi (and that only occasionally), but if she was into realistic dildos, I'd be fine with it. She's cool with my Fleshlight; in fact, she's a little disappointed I got the Flight instead of a realistic one, because she wanted to see/touch a fake vagina herself!
For us, any toy is fine — but any other person would NOT be fine. Whatever works for you two.