Comment on spicywife's Slipinside 01 review

Alt Alt
SideKick #1 review
Related to: 
Note: I created a forum post because the char limit didn't let me post this in the comment box.
I am really tired of there being a limit!


My reponse to - link

I am really sorry it didn't go so well, but it has really worked very well for me.

Here is what I have experienced, in relation to what you talked about in there:

#1 It's bulky and very thick.
It is actually less thick than most other sleeves (atleast the ones I have tried)

#2 Hard to control and use.
I guess that depends on the user. My ex didn't have any problem using it on me really.

#3: The outer material that you grip, when stroking, is sticky and attracts lint.
Well it is not silicone, but it is a lot better than rubber, jelly, or other UR3 ones.

#4: The material is so pliable and squishy, that you can't really grip it to control it properly.
It is very soft, but I think that is what makes the tentacles so nice, and not overly abrasive



#1: Weird gelatinous soft material.
Yes the material is strange. Might have been better if it was silicone.

#2: Tentacles don't stimulate.
Hmm, they do for me, VERY MUCH. I can even simply orgasm by spinning the thing

#3: You have to get it just right to promote any type of decent pleasure.
Not sure really.. it seems to always work for me.

#4: It's too thick and too bulky.
I find it quite slim and lightweight compared to some others.

#5: Just not worth the effort or time.
It is for me, esp in the shower or pool with some waterproof lube (silicone or oil based)



-->His overall opinion: it's not better than a hand job and it has no comparison to intercourse.
Hmm.. I mean in my experience I found that sex does nothing for me, and is not stimulating at all.
Using my hand is, but this one is probably the best sleeve I have tried and is way better than my hand.
I guess it just depends on the guy. Maybe this was made for smaller guys?

Perhaps if the tentacles felt too tight, and didn't get any pleasure out of it, then me might be a little bigger or thicker than average?
I am about 5.5 inches and probably as thick as like 3 fingers put together, so I guess I am more on the average side.. perhaps that is why I get so much more pleasure out of it

This product must be a hit or miss, cuz for some I have heard it works wonders, and others it just sucks.
Sorry about that.
07/10/2009
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Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Honestly, I think this is an inappropriate outlet for your comment. You could have broken it up on the review page or sent the user a message. If you really thought the review missed something, you might even have contacted Victoria but this.. is not the right way to go about it.
07/10/2009
spicywife spicywife
I can say that we reported our honest experience on that product. Maybe my product was intercepted and replaced with an alien-device and is completely different from yours. Anything is possible

It's incredibly thick and bulky for us. You said that "sex does nothing for you," so perhaps that's part of it too. My husband loves intercourse and he said it provides the best sensation of anything.

We all have different tastes but I had to give my honest opinion on the product. And like I said in my review, we're going to snip the tip off and see if we can use it during oral sex.

Also, in your review, you said that this sleeve feels better than a handjob and a blowjob. My husband doesn't think so at all. He said it in no way resembles a blow job. So I guess that's just proof of different personal experiences and personal preferences too.

My husband is larger in size, so it may go back to purely a size issue as well.

But even if it fit him well, it's too thick, bulky and squishy. I can't compare the thickness to any other sleeve since we've never used one before. But if a sleeve is any thicker than this, like you said, then I can't imagine us liking it either. Personal preference, again.

I certainly did not intend to offend anyone. We all have different experiences with products.

I think most of your comments were really just you sharing your opinion and how it differed from ours. But I don't think that makes my review bad or not useful. So, it would have been nice if you had sent me a message instead.
07/10/2009
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Alt
Note: I created a forum post because the char limit didn't let me post this in the comment box.
I am really tired of there being a limit!


My reponse to - link

I am really sorry it didn't go so well, but it has really ... More
The character limit is there to keep the pages navigable.

To suit the needs of those who have longer messages...you can send a *message* - I suggest when you have specific feedback like this, you send a message to the reviewer. That is one of the reason we have the message system.

Thanks!
07/10/2009
Epiphora Epiphora
Wow, I can't believe you spent all that time "refuting" the points in the review. You even admit that this could work well for some and not as well for others, and you've already written a review praising this product. I don't see the point of making the reviewer feel like her dude was just wrong.
07/11/2009
Alt Alt
@Adriana Ravenlust

What was not the right way to go?
You mean creating a forum post as a comment?
07/11/2009
Alt Alt
Quote:
Originally posted by Epiphora
Wow, I can't believe you spent all that time "refuting" the points in the review. You even admit that this could work well for some and not as well for others, and you've already written a review praising this product. I don't ... More
@Epiphora
How did I make her reviewers bf feel like he was wrong?

I simply stated my experience compared to hers
"Here is what I have experienced, in relation to what you talked about in there: "
07/11/2009
Alt Alt
I guess if you all really think this comment is useless, then just got a mod to delete it.
I was just stating my opinion on it.
07/11/2009
Victoria Victoria
Ok, everyone - chill out. Alt knows now to just send a system message. There's a lot to take in when you're new here - let's not discount that this ultimately was just an attempt to share information about a product and experience - which is a good thing. Enthusiasm and concern are great - and I think it's clear enough now how to give direct feedback to a reviewer about their reviews.
07/11/2009
Alt Alt
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
Ok, everyone - chill out. Alt knows now to just send a system message. There's a lot to take in when you're new here - let's not discount that this ultimately was just an attempt to share information about a product and experience - which ... More
I just didn't send a message because I felt like I would compare my experience with this to how it worked for her bf.
Nothing more and nothing less.
07/11/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Alt
I just didn't send a message because I felt like I would compare my experience with this to how it worked for her bf.
Nothing more and nothing less.
We understand, but because you are questioning a specific review (not comparing your experience to, say, every other reviewer's without calling out names), you really should have sent this over a private message.

Quite honestly, I would feel a little embarrassed if somebody went out of their way to pick apart my review and post a completely different opinion, step-by-step, in the forums. If that person wrote an actual review that disagreed with what I said or messaged their comments to me, that would be fine; posting it like this in a forum just makes it seem like you're calling the other reviewer a liar.
07/11/2009
Epiphora Epiphora
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
We understand, but because you are questioning a specific review (not comparing your experience to, say, every other reviewer's without calling out names), you really should have sent this over a private message.

Quite honestly, I would ... More
Exactly.
07/11/2009
Alt Alt
@Backseat Boohoo

-->"because you are questioning a specific review..."
I wasn't questioning it, becuase her opinion is facts because it is an opinion.
I was comparing our viewpoints on the product.

-->"(not comparing your experience to, say, every other reviewer's without calling out names)"
That was the main idea, to do it on this specific review (as I have with other reviews)
I guess I could have created a Venn-Diagram, if I had the time.

-->"you really should have sent this over a private message."
If I was to send it in a PM, then I probably wouldn't have posted this in the first place.
The point of this comment was to show while it may not work for some, it can still work for others. I wasn't saying she was wrong... I was saying that everyone is different, and I wanted to inform others of that whom are concidering buying the product.

-->"I would feel a little embarrassed if somebody went out of their way to pick apart my review and post a completely different opinion, step-by-step"
Well I guess you and I are quite different then, because I would be totally fine if someone did that to mine to share their opinion on it, whether it shares similar viewpoints, or goes totally against it.

-->"...in the forums"
I was going to post it on the review but there is a character limit, and it wouldn't post it.
I was more specific the 2nd time (which is what got posted) after I lost the first one becuase of the char limit (would be nice if the textboxes had a counter there)

-->"posting it like this in a forum just makes it seem like you're calling the other reviewer a liar."
How so? That was her experience with the toy, and I wanted to also share mine in comparison with her experience.
It is nice to see both sides of the equation and not just one.
What would it seem like if I posted this in the comments under the review?
07/11/2009
Liz Liz
I read the review in question, and I think spicywife did a great job of explaining why this toy didn't work for her and her partner-- which is the purpose of honest customer reviews. You say that "that was her experience with the toy, and I also wanted to share mine in comparison with her experience," but you've already done that in your own review of this toy. You had a chance to express your opinion there, and the toy did seem to work out well for you, which is great. I really don't see why you felt the need to personally refute every point spicywife made in her review. It's not fair to invalidate someone else's experience just because it contradicts your own. Certain toys work better for some people than others; that's just the way it goes.

It seems like this is just a matter of disagreeing someone else's opinion on a toy, and not questioning the quality of the review. If that's the case, I think it's best to let our own reviews speak for themselves.
07/11/2009
spicywife spicywife
I wasn't going to post on this thread any further since you (Alt) didn't actually respond to my post. But I think that sometimes you have to say certain things, if in the least just to validate yourself.

That said, I honestly feel that you posted this thread because you in some way felt affronted by my review and by my dissatisfaction with the product. And frankly, if that is the case, then it's okay to admit that. But the reality is that a lot of products have a variety of reviews on them. Some people may love a product while others may find the product to be unsatisfactory.

I have to agree with what several people said above. You have already shared your opinion/experience with your review of the product but I didn't pick apart your review. I just simply posted a review of my opinion and experience with the product.

I've seen reviews in the past for certain items that I really liked and thought were good quality but someone else had a different opinion and experience. It's just a part of life.
07/11/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
I wasn't going to post on this thread any further since you (Alt) didn't actually respond to my post. But I think that sometimes you have to say certain things, if in the least just to validate yourself.

That said, I honestly feel that ... More
Exactly. The different-opinion review should've been written and left at that. This post, full of "hmms" and "that's not what I felt" that make it sound like you're suspicious of her review, is really unnecessary.

If something works for you and not for somebody else, just say that it worked for you in your review. There is no need to point out where one reviewer said, "This didn't do it for me," then respond with, "Well, it did it for ME" at every turn. You are not the same as the other reviewer; their opinion is just as valid as yours.
07/11/2009
Gary Gary
We all need to be supportive of one another, which I believe is the intentions of everyone here. But please keep in mind, a little bit of constructive criticism goes a long way. We need the feedback and opinions of others to help us become better at communicating our experiences, but we also need the support of the community so no feels ostracized or discouraged. Yes, everyone has a different approach and a different opinion on everything, so let’s just try to keep everything friendly! The only other logical alternative would be to institute a mandatory, anything goes, cage match to settle all disputes; and while this may sound like a great idea in theory, I can assure you that it would not be as much fun as it sounds.
07/12/2009
Alt Alt
This is ridiculous how far some of you are taking this.
You act like I am the enemy here, and attempted to sabotage her review when just the opposite was true.
Hell I voted "extremely useful" after reading it, because it provided a vary different opinion than mine.



@Liz

-->"I read the review in question, and I think spicywife did a great job of explaining why this toy didn't work for her and her partner-- which is the purpose of honest customer reviews"
I agree 100%

-->"I really don't see why you felt the need to personally refute every point spicywife made in her review."
What did I refute?

-->"It's not fair to invalidate someone else's experience just because it contradicts your own."
How was I invalidating her experience with it?

-->"Certain toys work better for some people than others; that's just the way it goes. "
And that is exactly what I said... - This product must be a hit or miss




@spicywife

-->"you (Alt) didn't actually respond to my post"
I didn't respond to your first post, because I agreed with what you said, and nor did I have any questions.

-->"I honestly feel that you posted this thread because you in some way felt affronted by my review and by my dissatisfaction with the product."
I am sorry you feel that way, but like I said before, I wouldn't have posted it in the forum if there wasn't a text limit in the comment boxes.
I didn't feel affronted by your review, I just gave a comparison and contrast...

-->"And frankly, if that is the case, then it's okay to admit that."
And I would admit it, if that was true. Yet it is not, as I have said repeatedly.

-->"the reality is that a lot of products have a variety of reviews on them. Some people may love a product while others may find the product to be unsatisfactory."
Exactly. The whole idea was to show a different side to this product...

-->"You have already shared your opinion/experience with your review of the product but I didn't pick apart your review."
I am sorry you feel that others should not post comments on reviews if he or she does not share the same opinion of liking the product or not.

-->"I just simply posted a review of my opinion and experience with the product. "
And I just simply posted a comparison to how it was when I tried it. Nothing more or less. (As I said before)

-->"I've seen reviews in the past for certain items that I really liked and thought were good quality but someone else had a different opinion and experience."
And those are the ones I am likely to comment on.



@ Backseat Boohoo

-->"The different-opinion review should've been written and left at that."
I am very sorry you feel that way.

-->"This post, full of "hmms" and "that's not what I felt""
Yes, that is the way I construct phrases. I am glad you noticed.

-->"make it sound like you're suspicious of her review"
How would I be suspicious of her review if it is her opinion?

-->"is really unnecessary. "
Well then get a mod to delete this thread.

-->"If something works for you and not for somebody else, just say that it worked for you in your review."
Oh okay. So basically the comment box is only for people who agree with the review?
In that case, why is there even a comment box? (Hell, it has a char limit anyway, I say just remove it)

-->"If something works for you and not for somebody else, just say that it worked for you in your review."
Okay, I will keep that in mind.

-->"You are not the same as the other reviewer; their opinion is just as valid as yours."
I agree.





@ Gary
-->"We all need to be supportive of one another, which I believe is the intentions of everyone here."
I wasn't trying to be unsupportive.

-->"please keep in mind, a little bit of constructive criticism goes a long way"
I guess it just each depends on the person and how they interpret it.

-->"we also need the support of the community so no feels ostracized or discouraged."
Ostracizing her wasn't anywhere near my point here.
If anything, I am the one getting ostracized here...

-->"Yes, everyone has a different approach and a different opinion on everything, so let’s just try to keep everything friendly!"
I agree, although I cannot say I am not somewhat agitated from these attacks here.
07/12/2009
spicywife spicywife
Sometimes it is hard to communicate via a forum because you aren't able to hear the person's tone of voice or read their body language. I'm not going to say more because I don't want to add fuel to the fire.
07/12/2009
spicywife spicywife
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
Sometimes it is hard to communicate via a forum because you aren't able to hear the person's tone of voice or read their body language. I'm not going to say more because I don't want to add fuel to the fire.
But I should say that I'm not defending anyone. I'm just saying that sometimes it can be difficult to discern a person's true meaning. We have several people here (including me) that believe that it wasn't right to comment on my review in that particular way, but the commenter doesn't seem to think that he's done anything wrong. I don't think that this will get anywhere at this point.
07/12/2009
Alt Alt
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
But I should say that I'm not defending anyone. I'm just saying that sometimes it can be difficult to discern a person's true meaning. We have several people here (including me) that believe that it wasn't right to comment on my ... More
@spicywife

-->"sometimes it can be difficult to discern a person's true meaning."
Yes, apparently so.

-->"the commenter doesn't seem to think that he's done anything wrong"
Indeed.

-->"We have several people here (including me) that believe that it wasn't right to comment on my review in that particular way"
Yes, that appears to be everyone that has responded to this thread so far.
Honestly, I just don't agree with the comment box having the purpose for being exclusive to those whom have the exact same opinion on a product.

I am curious though as to what you specifically mean by "particular way" ?
07/12/2009
Alt Alt
In any case, everyone here is basically saying:
- I made her bf feel like he was wrong
- I am calling her a liar
- I refuted every point she wrote
- I invalidate her entire experience and review
- I am being suspicious of her opinion, as if it was illegitimate
- I am ostracizing her by posting this

So I am happy to discuss this with anyone.
Feel free to point out how you believe my comments resulted in these ideas that you are claiming.
07/12/2009
Purple Foxglove Purple Foxglove
Oh goodness. I think this situation should definately be viewed as a learning experience. lol

Alt, I can see how you might not have meant any harm by posting your own experience/response to the review here (because of the limits and whatnot) however, the internet does allow a LOT of ambiguity, and unless you include how you do mean it super-clearly, dialogue can be interpreted in completely different ways than you actually mean it- it's a common internet hardship. I don't think anybody is "attacking" you, they're simply responding to their interpretation, and it isn't like just one person interpreted it that way.

And like Liz said, when comparing experiences, it really is usually best to let the reviews speak for themselves, if only to avoid situations like this one.

As far as the public calling out of any persons as related to this ordeal, even if you yourself aren't especially sensitive to critisism (constructive or otherwise), respecting that someone else might be, is just the nicer thing to do.

No harm, no foul. Mistakes aren't actually mistakes unless you refuse to learn from the experience. It happens.
07/13/2009
spicywife spicywife
Quote:
Originally posted by Purple Foxglove
Oh goodness. I think this situation should definately be viewed as a learning experience. lol

Alt, I can see how you might not have meant any harm by posting your own experience/response to the review here (because of the limits and whatnot) ... More
I agree with your comments, especially the last one!
07/13/2009
spicywife spicywife
Alt -

I really think that we've all made it clear in response to "in what particular way." I honestly don't feel like carrying this any further. I've been as diplomatic as is possible and I don't want to stray from that. I'd like to just say "no harm no foul" and move on. I don't believe in holding things against people and I'll still look forward to reading your reviews. But I just don't want to argue this any further.
07/13/2009
Alt Alt
I didn't mean to create an argument here, but I was interested in a discussion after seeing so many negative comments bout these comments.

Anyway, well thanks.
Although I will need to get motivated again into writing reviews.
My motivation before was mainly free stuff. But now I need to find something new. I probably could find motivation through attempting to create a better review than what a product currently has, but now there are so many items which have already been reviewed (usually multiple times), with such high ratings, that there seems to be not too much of a point really.

Perhaps I will eventually do it on the Pure Plug 2.0 since it is one of my favorite toys & plugs.
I have a lot of it written out, but I am worried it could possibly run into a text limit, and also I feel it is no where near as perfect as it should sound.
07/13/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Alt
I didn't mean to create an argument here, but I was interested in a discussion after seeing so many negative comments bout these comments.

Anyway, well thanks.
Although I will need to get motivated again into writing reviews.
My ... More
I'm sure you can find review-less items through the product search
07/14/2009
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 9