Partner play with dildos.......does it work for you?

Liz2 Liz2
Many reviewers suggest toys for partner play. I as a woman have been usually unsuccessful here, as any toy that is rigid; steel, glass, plastic, etc; I find painful when my partner uses it on me. Yes, both my b/f and g/f are gentle but I always feel that I am being impaled and/or that they miss the mark as most rigid toys demand pinpoint accuracy. Am I alone here?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I find partner use of rigid toys with me unsatisfactory.
19
Yes, my partner's use of a rigid toy gives me satisfaction and takes me to orgasm.
47
I enjoy my partner watching me use toys; solo.
66
Partner particpation with non-rigid toys works for me.
59
Partner particpation with non-rigid toys is also unsatisfactory for me.
2
My partner is just not into toys.
14
Total votes: 207 (127 voters)
Poll is closed
01/14/2010
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
Many reviewers suggest toys for partner play. I as a woman have been usually unsuccessful here, as any toy that is rigid; steel, glass, plastic, etc; I find painful when my partner uses it on me. Yes, both my b/f and g/f are gentle but I always feel ... More
Like most we started with clit vibes, then tried penetration and then on to dual stimulation vibes before we even considered non vibrating dildos. The idea came to me when my wife commented that she preferred not to have the shaft of her Decadent Indulgence rotate. That didn't make any sense to me until she said she liked 'having something to hold on to' referring to the shaft of the DI.

That's when I started buying dildos - initially jelly types and they seemed to work fine until she developed a sensitivity. I've thrown them all out except for her favorite one that I always cover with a condom. With these toys she would always 'finish' by applying a clit vibe.

I love the art of glass dildos and started buying them - first small and smooth, then larger and textured. These glass dildos are by far her favorite (although we have a steel PureWand and Alumnia Flow that she likes as well).

The best glass wands for my wife are 1-1/4" diameter with some texture and an upturned head for g-spot and a-spot stimulation. About 50-60% of the time she can orgasm without a clit vibe to help.

It's clear to me that it's necessary to start with shallow penetration - then as she becomes more aroused - she will press back into my thrusting to let me know it's Ok to go deeper - looking for her a-spot that will cause her to ejaculate.
01/14/2010
EffinSara EffinSara
With a straight, rigid toy I might be afraid that he'd accidentally pound my cervix with it. But with a toy like the Pure Wand, that seems to magically find its own way to my G-spot, he can do no wrong.
01/14/2010
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
After a few unpleasant experiences with glass and plastic toys, when it comes to penetrating me he's only allowed to drive the soft toys. Period, end of story. He can't feel what he's doing, and it's way too easy to bash a rigid toy around in there. For us it's worked best if he just watches me use the rigid toys, so he can't get carried away and bruise me.
01/14/2010
Red Red
Pardon the TMI, but I like being f*cked hard and fast. Thus, there is nothing - repeat, nothing - better than partner play with a dildo. Dildos don't have to worry about coming, after all
01/14/2010
NuMe NuMe
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
Pardon the TMI, but I like being f*cked hard and fast. Thus, there is nothing - repeat, nothing - better than partner play with a dildo. Dildos don't have to worry about coming, after all
I'm with Red on this one.
01/15/2010
oldkinky oldkinky
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
Many reviewers suggest toys for partner play. I as a woman have been usually unsuccessful here, as any toy that is rigid; steel, glass, plastic, etc; I find painful when my partner uses it on me. Yes, both my b/f and g/f are gentle but I always feel ... More
My wife uses a realistic, vibrating dildo while she gives me a blowjob and we fantasize that we are having a threesome. I will say things like the other guy might say-so tight-best fuck I ever had-love the way you fuck-could you teach my wife to fuck like this-etc.
01/15/2010
Miss Jane Miss Jane
I needed an 'other':

Partner play with a rigid toy feels awesome for me, but I couldn't mark the one that says 'takes me to orgasm' because, well, usually it takes more than penetration to bring me there anyway.
01/15/2010
Sammi Sammi
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
Pardon the TMI, but I like being f*cked hard and fast. Thus, there is nothing - repeat, nothing - better than partner play with a dildo. Dildos don't have to worry about coming, after all
I mostly agree. There's a few that he's too rough with, but overall, there's nothing better.
01/15/2010
Liz2 Liz2
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Jane
I needed an 'other':

Partner play with a rigid toy feels awesome for me, but I couldn't mark the one that says 'takes me to orgasm' because, well, usually it takes more than penetration to bring me there anyway.
I am so jealous as I so want my partner to use rigid toys with me but when driven by someone else, the wrong spots seem to be getting hit, my cervix for example or my g spot, spot-on, is missed. Both my b/f and g/f have been the drivers with the same result.
I guess it must be me as when I used a diaphragm it got pounded by my partners cock.
And yes, I usually use a vibe along with most dils during solo play.
01/16/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
I have had my partner try toys on me. I am patient with him and try to encourage him when he isnt doing it right for me but he just gives up and feels like he doesnt know how to satisfy me. I wish he wouldnt give up and just continue instead of beat himself down with feelings of inefficacy. I know he could succeed if he just continued to try.
01/18/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I have had my partner try toys on me. I am patient with him and try to encourage him when he isnt doing it right for me but he just gives up and feels like he doesnt know how to satisfy me. I wish he wouldnt give up and just continue instead of beat ... More
Naughty Student - you are correct - he can figure it out - if he's willing to 'man-up'. I recently heard an interview with Jaiya link - interesting lady EF sponsors her radio show. She said that one of her biggest turn-ons is a confident lover. As a male you have to be attuned to the reactions your lover has - but you can't expect her to tell you how to do it! She quoted someone who said that a woman's genitalia are sensitive - not delicate. I'm not advocating pain - just agreeing that from my experience firm and fast has it's place!
01/18/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
Pardon the TMI, but I like being f*cked hard and fast. Thus, there is nothing - repeat, nothing - better than partner play with a dildo. Dildos don't have to worry about coming, after all
OMG do I agree with you Red! I love to be pounded whether it's with a rigid toy, soft one or a hard cock doesn't matter as long as it's near brutal!
04/22/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by oldkinky
My wife uses a realistic, vibrating dildo while she gives me a blowjob and we fantasize that we are having a threesome. I will say things like the other guy might say-so tight-best fuck I ever had-love the way you fuck-could you teach my wife to fuck ... More
Sounds fun! I do something similar with both my partners when we are solo, it's super exciting seeing and hearing about their fantasies!
04/22/2010
Midway through Midway through
I prefer to use rigid toys myself, they can watch or I can roll solo. However, if it's a toy I'm not worried about, my partner can play
07/23/2010
Alura Une Alura Une
We rarely incorporate rigid toys into our play. I don't recall the last time we did that vaginally. We now only incorporate such toys into our anal exploration. For me, using such toys vaginally is usually much more fun and comfortable when going solo. But I've been thinking I'd like to try a dildos again in partner play.
07/27/2010
deltalima deltalima
It just doesn't do the trick for me/us. I feel much too embarrassed when it happens anyway so the less we do it together, the better for me.
08/05/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
He has to be more careful with rigid hard toys than with silicone or Cyberskin (is that what the stinky skin like material is called?) but, he still hits the spots pretty well.

I actually like when he takes control of the toys. He usually leaves the Wahl to me, as he is doing other things, but I like when he grabs the toys and goes to work (play.)
08/05/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by oldkinky
My wife uses a realistic, vibrating dildo while she gives me a blowjob and we fantasize that we are having a threesome. I will say things like the other guy might say-so tight-best fuck I ever had-love the way you fuck-could you teach my wife to fuck ... More
oldkink, we do the same thing. Great fun! I think it is one of the reasons he originally bought me our first toy, that and he really KNEW I would enjoy it, despite my original objections, "I only like skin." I DO like skin, but I love toys as well. Sometimes he knows better than I do about some things.
08/05/2010
ScottA ScottA
I believe you need to stop and have a instructional session to "get acquainted" with how to use the toys on each other before you can (reliably) use them successfully. My recommendation: get a toy, play with it yourself for a while to figure out how you like it used, and then have a "training session" with lots of talking and working with each other. Don't expect it to be sexy or give you phenomenal orgasms, this is for your partner to learn how to use the toys on you (and how not to use the toys on you). Once that's done things get better.
08/31/2010
lovehurts lovehurts
My parter don't care about my toys or having sex much what a drag
10/14/2010
Serendipity Serendipity
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
Many reviewers suggest toys for partner play. I as a woman have been usually unsuccessful here, as any toy that is rigid; steel, glass, plastic, etc; I find painful when my partner uses it on me. Yes, both my b/f and g/f are gentle but I always feel ... More
you don't have to have your partner use the toy on you; i think it's pretty hot watching a partner masturbate. try a mutual masturbation session. or ask them not to penetrate you with the toy but rub on the outside. LUBE! use lots. ask them to go slow.
11/07/2010
CS2012 CS2012
I prefer to use the toys on myself.
11/12/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
I believe you need to stop and have a instructional session to "get acquainted" with how to use the toys on each other before you can (reliably) use them successfully. My recommendation: get a toy, play with it yourself for a while to ... More
This works really well, Scott. Especially with toys you have picked out for yourself.

My Man, however, likes to pick out toys for me and bring them home. Then it's up to the two of us to figure out the best way to use it as a couple.

We've been struggling with a few new cock rings, it's different than the ones we've used in the past (mostly the 'disposable' stretchy ones with the little vibrator on them) These are solid silicone rings, and we're learning. We also just got a leather one that snaps, and haven't even gotten around to using it yet. Sometimes, it's best to learn to use one toy at a time. (Not that you can't use multiple toys in a session, we usually do, but usually only one NEW toy at one time.)

But, sometimes it's fun to have him just attack me with a toy. My only rule is "No hard thrusting with hard toys!" We have a hard plastic G Spotter (the Marble G) and I always have to remind him it's best used only a few inches in. It's NOT a dildo or a phallic vibe (those I like much harder, but the ones we have are mostly silicone, so they don't hurt if you get rough with them, at least they don't hurt me) but you're right, playing with a partner with toys, as when you are alone, takes a few learning sessions.

It's all fun....until somebody gets poked in the cervix.
11/12/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
I have to say, My Man actually does a better job with dildos and phallic vibes on me that I do myself. Of course, it's always more fun with someone else. He can also get into positions and get better leverage than I can.

Really, the only toy that I consider "mine" and we don't use for partnered sex is my little Bullet. That's my "substitute" for his oral skills, when I'm alone.

Everything else, is used for partnered sex.
11/12/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I have to say, My Man actually does a better job with dildos and phallic vibes on me that I do myself. Of course, it's always more fun with someone else. He can also get into positions and get better leverage than I can.

Really, the only ... More
My girl is the same - she prefers that I 'drive' anything dildos or vibes that are penetrative and she'll do the clit vibe work. But when it comes to intercourse she prefers to "drive' cowgirl style!
11/12/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
My girl is the same - she prefers that I 'drive' anything dildos or vibes that are penetrative and she'll do the clit vibe work. But when it comes to intercourse she prefers to "drive' cowgirl style!
Very similar to what we do. Minus the Cowgirl. Between my Fibromyalgia and his intermittent semi-ED issue (he's old.... poor guy) Cowgirl hasn't been working well for us lately. We have a few positions that we do very well with though.

Yeah, him on the penetrative stuff and me "manning" the clit vibe tends to work well lately.
11/12/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
It really depends on my mood because I'm more apt to take a harder pounding if I've been a little agitated by the events of the day. If I'm feeling more sensual, I would prefer softer toys when we play.
12/13/2010
Beaners Beaners
My boyfriend and I use almost everything as a couple, rigid or not. He knows where the right spots are well enough that he can hit them with a rigid toy that requires accuracy.
12/22/2010
A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
Not with dildoes - only vibrators.
02/01/2011
Total posts: 64
Unique posters: 47