"Well, Mr. Firefighter, I set my dildos on fire to confirm the integrity of the material, and as you can see, my house is now a smoking crater."
That's how I'd explain it. Simple enough.
I also love what you say before the test about how you were going to use a match, but that wouldn't be as much fun as a FRICKIN' BLOWTORCH!!! That sounds like a line off of Mythbusters.
Fun to watch. The TPE goo made me think of the blob monster.