Beginner Strap On Recommendations

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Beginner Strap On Recommendations

MarriedWithSexToys MarriedWithSexToys
My wife has experimented on my with anal play and prostate stimulation which I enjoy and she enjoys doing. We have been talking about trying out a strap on but are unsure of what to choose for beginners. Does anyone have any recommendations for a beginner that doesn't break the bank, isn't overly large for beginners and is comfortable for her to wear as well?
Thanks for the help.
09/09/2009
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spicywife spicywife
We were in a similar situation recently and chose the Bare As You Dare Harness. It was comfortable and very affordable. It may not be for everyone though.

There is a lot to offer and reading reviews definitely helps. You can also check out this one.

I'm not sure if you already have a dildo that you like, but there are some kits that come with both a harness and a dildo.
09/09/2009
spicywife spicywife
Another recommendation is to make sure that the harness you buy has interchangeable o-rings so you aren't limited to using just one size dildo.
09/09/2009
MarriedWithSexToys MarriedWithSexToys
Wow, that Bare As You Dare Harness would look so hot on my wife. Thanks for the recommendation on the interchangeable o-rings and for your reply.
09/09/2009
LiftedUp LiftedUp
MarriedWithSexToys,
That Bare As You Dare Harness may look very good on your wife, but be aware that looks aren't everything! A strap-on harness is a very functional item, and above all else, must be able to perform. Traditionally, those thong type harnesses (especially one as THIN as that one) lack stability and control, compared to many of their counterparts, which could potentially be quite frustrating for beginners. Additionally, for your wife's sake, I can't imagine that single tiny strap running between her legs is going to be comfortable! Think of the continual repeated thrusting motion, and that thin strap rubbing against her skin in both front and back! Depending on how it fits her, that could put a quick end to your sessions.

For these reasons, many beginners start with a harness more akin to the second one that spicywife linked for you... especially because of price. They are really cheap, but generally tend to offer you more support and stability, and have individual leg openings, so there's nothing running up between the legs (also leaving that area open and available for other play.

If you really don't want one of those, there are definitely some GREAT higher end leather harnesses that will give you the look you want, while providing the BEST of stability and control, and can come in everything from thong styles with an open crotch, to full bikinis. These are fantastic harnesses, but be prepared to pay for them, as they are substantially more expensive than the other types referenced here.

As for dildos, it all depends on your preferences, and what you enjoy. I always recommend 100% silicone dildos, and my wife and I LOOOOOOVE Tantus products. We started with the silk line. All of these are 100% silicone, and are incredibly smooth, and have an appropriate firmness to them. The Small Silk might be a good dildo as an intro to anal play, but it quite short, so not the greatest choice for harness play, as it is prone to popping out. Once you are a little more comfortable with anal play, and can start to relax and take something bigger, a good beginner dildo is the Silk Medium. Pretty good length, and still sized more toward a beginner at 1 1/4" diameter. Or if your already comfortable with anal play, and just looking to expand into pegging, feel free to dive right in with larger dildos and curved dildos designed to stimulate the prostate. We also have the Silk Large (which is definitely larger than the 1 1/4" diameter listed in the details, so be aware of that), which is nice, and definitely gives a full feeling. We've also heard tons of recommendations (in no particular order) for The Leo and The Mistress by Vixen Creations, as well as O2 Revolution, O2 Niagara, and The Squirt all by Tantus. Tantus also recently released The Curve which looks promising, and has received some good reviews so far. These are just a few of the choices available... we haven't even breached the subject of double-ended "harness free" dildos which give her clit stim while she thrusts... but since you asked about harnesses in particular, I'll stop here on that topic.

There's definitely a ton of options out there, but in the end, it all boils down to what the two of you really want out of a strap on experience.
09/10/2009
ScottA ScottA
I second the Latigo Leather. It's a solid harness, very adjustable and comfortable, and it can be used with multiple O-rings and with or without the pad.

For a dildo get one that's at least 5" insertable. Smaller will tend to slip out during pegging. I'd strongly encourage getting a silicone dildo, as it will last forever and can be cleaned off, sterilized, and used by your wife as well.

If you're concerned about size, I'd get a tapered butt plug to practice with (learn how to relax your anus around), and then get a bigger dildo for the pegging. Bigger dildos (~1.5" give or take a bit) are easier to insert and tend to be a bit more stimulating.

I love my Squirt, but it's on the big side. The Curve is an excellent pegging dildo that also works well hand-held and for the ladies. I received the Curve Kit (consisting of the Curve Dildo and the Latigo Leather harness), and I really liked it and have no hesitation recommending that pair to someone else.

I'd recommend a mostly smooth dildo to start with (the Curve counts as mostly smooth), as texturing can be a bit irritating at times.

If you want a smooth, smaller dildo the Vixen Smooth Operator kit is longer than the Tantus Small Silk, but not much wider.

When you're unfamiliar being the "driver" of a harness and dildo a dildo with a head on it can help sometimes by giving you a visual indication of when you're almost all the way pulled out. While I don't recommend spending the whole session staring at your dildo, it's nice to be able to get a feel for how much range you have without having to reinsert the dildo all the time. The downside is that it generally makes the head a bit bigger.

I'm not sure if you want to jump into doubles right off, but pairing your harness with a double dildo dramatically increases both your partner's stimulation as well as her control.
09/10/2009
spicywife spicywife
Quote:
Originally posted by LiftedUp
MarriedWithSexToys,
That Bare As You Dare Harness may look very good on your wife, but be aware that looks aren't everything! A strap-on harness is a very functional item, and above all else, must be able to perform. Traditionally, those ...
Just a FYI, the Bare As You Dare harness doesn't lack stability or control. I reviewed this harness since we own it and it was amazing how great it is for such a cheap price and the straps being thin.
09/10/2009
spicywife spicywife
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
Just a FYI, the Bare As You Dare harness doesn't lack stability or control. I reviewed this harness since we own it and it was amazing how great it is for such a cheap price and the straps being thin.
And also the straps do not rub against you in an uncomfortable way. You might want to check out my review, since you haven't tried that particular harness.

The strap that runs near the crotch only rubs lightly against the clitoris which provides stimulations. Secondly, the strap in the back (the thong strap) does not irritate at all.

Everyone may have different experiences, but we found that harness to be very comfortable and great for us (we were beginners).

I don't mean to be rude but I think that you were being helpful but you were talking about an item that you hadn't actually used so you were making assumptions that may not be applicable.
09/10/2009
LiftedUp LiftedUp
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
And also the straps do not rub against you in an uncomfortable way. You might want to check out my review, since you haven't tried that particular harness.

The strap that runs near the crotch only rubs lightly against the clitoris which ...
Spicywife,
Thanks for the additional info. Let me just clarify that I was not putting that particular harness down, because as you said, I don't have experience with it. I was merely pointing out potential downfalls that many people experience with that STYLE of harness. That's why I made sure to specifically write things like "TRADITIONALLY, THONG TYPE HARNESSES...", and "COULD POTENTIALLY...", and "DEPENDING ON HOW IT FITS HER..." All the issues I discussed are valid concerns, but as you said they don't effect everyone, and are not an issue with EVERY harness of that style. I just want the original poster to think about issues like that, that may not have crossed his mind before. I in no way meant to put down that particular harness though.
09/10/2009
spicywife spicywife
Quote:
Originally posted by LiftedUp
Spicywife,
Thanks for the additional info. Let me just clarify that I was not putting that particular harness down, because as you said, I don't have experience with it. I was merely pointing out potential downfalls that many people ...
I understand. I misinterpreted your intial comment. It seemd like you were implying that it just wasn't a good harness period. One of the reasons that I chose it was that we were just getting into pegging and wanted to be sure that it was something that we would enjoy doing, so we didn't want to invest a lot of money. But I am really pleased with it, though I do want to try another style harness sometime to compare it to.

And yes, I am sure it's not for everyone!
09/11/2009
LiftedUp LiftedUp
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
I understand. I misinterpreted your intial comment. It seemd like you were implying that it just wasn't a good harness period. One of the reasons that I chose it was that we were just getting into pegging and wanted to be sure that it was ...


I agree with you with wanting to try other harnesses as well... that's the problem with buying sex toys... it's like an addiction! haha. The ones that we want really want to get are the La Femme, or Aslan Leather's Jaguar Harness (because I KNOW how soft their leather is!). Now the only problem is that we have a wishlist a mile long. I'm sure everyone here can relate!
09/11/2009
Liz2 Liz2
I would suggest the Aslan Jaguar or the Spare Parts harnesses I both both and love for different reasons. Yes expensive, but my first harness was a $20. sweat inducing thing with a dil that was hard to forget (for all the wrong reasons) and w/o stability. Would also suggest the Latigo leather, as others have, it is reasonable and you can use your favorite dil and move on from there if you like the experience.
09/11/2009
ScottA ScottA
There are two things about the Latigo Leather that I like:

It's inexpensive enough to where you can move on if you like, or you can stop if you decide you don't like (pegging), but it's good enough (and flexible enough) to where you don't have to - I (we) have both the Latigo and Aslan Wonder Woman, and while the Aslan is very nice I would be just fine with only the Latigo Leather. Indeed, in some ways the Latigo Leather can be more comfortable (it breathes better than a vinyl harness, and the adjustments are very easy. It's also more comfortable for me to wear).
09/11/2009
Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
There are two things about the Latigo Leather that I like:

It's inexpensive enough to where you can move on if you like, or you can stop if you decide you don't like (pegging), but it's good enough (and flexible enough) to where ...
I have to agree with the Latigo Leather recommendation. It's a really great deal. It stays in place, and is easy to adjust mid-session. Also, when I'm done with it, I can just throw it in the bathroom sink, wash it by hand really quickly and then hang it in the shower to dry. (I never use the leather pad.)
09/11/2009
MarriedWithSexToys MarriedWithSexToys
Thank you for all the suggestions and comments. We have a lot of information to digest now before choosing what is right for us.
09/15/2009
kfdarling kfdarling
Great suggestions.
03/12/2011
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 7