Have you ever been part of an open relationship?

Im'DLytFull Im'DLytFull
My best friend just told me she started an open relationship with this guy...I wouldn't even consider it! But maybe theres some good meaning behind it. I dont know.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes, I'm in one now...(Explain)
Airen Wolf , Iskandur , PassionQT , NaturalWoman
4  (7%)
Yes, but it just didn't work.
PussyGalore , Sir , LicentiouslyYours , TexasBrat , MildOats , imp , Lady Marmelade , zeebot
8  (15%)
Yes, and it was great.
P'Gell , closed account , Kinkme , PolyGirl
4  (7%)
No, but I would love it!
Xavier7
1  (2%)
No, and I'm not sure if I would.
Porfiriato , Waterfall , Darling Jen , null , hornypoet69 , idunshire , Kindred , Lucidity , northstar , BluePixi , darthkitt3n , xSexKittenx , swf , Solar Ray
14  (26%)
No, and I wouldn't even consider it.
Yoda , rdytogo , cherryredhead88 , Emily! , Envy , Passionate Pastor , LuLu Love , RemusHalifax , sbon , staceejaxxx , RubenesqueAna , Redboxbaby , leatherlover , *HisMrs* , dv8 , Taylor , HoneyHoney , Crystal1 , Persephone Nightmare , potstickers , Willis2011 , Eden C. , Mommy2
23  (43%)
Total votes: 54
Poll is closed
12/12/2010
  • Weekly Special: Sexy Savings
  • Save 15% on Luxury Brands
  • Annual Clearance - Save 30%
  • Buy Cascade vibe and save 50% on lubricants!
  • Save 20% on self-lubricating Cascade vibe and sleeve kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
rdytogo rdytogo
Not my thing although I understand that some people can make it work and that's cool too.
12/12/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Im'DLytFull
My best friend just told me she started an open relationship with this guy...I wouldn't even consider it! But maybe theres some good meaning behind it. I dont know.
There are quite a few of us here in the community who are either in or would love to be in an open relationship. Some of us wouldn't even want to consider any alternative! Check out the polyamory section of the forums if you are really interested.

I, myself, am in a polyamorous triad that is open to just about anything. I have a husband and a lifepartner (male). We have three kids in total and wouldn't have it any other way.
12/12/2010
Porfiriato Porfiriato
Although I'm not sure I would consider this type of relationship, it has been fascinating to read forum posts from those who have been able to make this sort of arrangement work. Love comes in many forms, why should we force it to conform to conceptions of normative behavior?
12/12/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
We tried when I was too young to really understand what was happening and we were all kind of looking in the wrong direction so it blew up crazy fast. That experience has made me very closed off from experiencing new or different situations but I'm starting to relax a little bit more every day. Maybe by the time I'm 40. We'll see.
12/12/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
My Man and I opened our relationship less than a year after we got together. I was very young when we started dating, and was a virgin (he fixed that, YAY!) but, as I have said before, I was too young, and even though he was older, and somewhat experienced, he still wanted to sow some wild oats. Neither of us wanted to commit and wake up 10 years or longer later and think, "What did I miss?" So, we were Open for about 4 or 5 years.

We became monogamous again when I was a Senior in College and got married shortly after.

We've toyed with the idea of opening the relationship again, but keeping it as a couple thing. Soft Swing to start etc. But, there are some things we have to work out, and I'm not sure he would really be able to handle it as well as he says he will.

I know I'm very capable of being polyamorous, but it's him I'm worried about. He says he won't get jealous, but I don't think that is really true.
12/12/2010
C4ss C4ss
No, I haven't. I know some people are able to make it work but it's not my kind of think.
12/13/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Actually, having an open relationship did work for a long time and there were other factors that contributed to it ceasing to work. I'm still very much in favor of the concept and tho currently uncommitted, am involved with people who have open relationships with a committed partner.

@P'Gell - I think it's a myth of being poly that there are never any feelings of jealously. It's really more about your ability to recognize that jealously is a symptom of insecurity and being able to communicate with your partner and alleviate or work through those feelings.
12/13/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
I'm definitely a monogamist, but my boyfriend is into polyamory. We respect each others opinions about relationships and he respects that if he wants to be in a relationship with me, it has to be only me. We've talked about branching out, but even though I'm really tempted to find out what it's like to be with another woman, I'm just not comfortable with the idea of having more than one partner. I don't really want to share myself with anyone but him.
12/18/2010
sbon sbon
Nope. I have not been in one and will not be in one. I'm a very monogamous person. I have high respect for those who are able to have open relationships, but I just don't think it's for me.
12/23/2010
anonymouse anonymouse
One of my exes was in one when they were with me. It was awkward and sucky, and I'll never do it again.
12/24/2010
closed account closed account
i was young, we weren't in love. It worked for us. Don't know if i could do it with someone i was in love with. I'm not sure. Would be a challenge. I'd opt for poly or swinging if I was in love.
12/24/2010
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I don't think that kind of lifestyle would be right for me.
12/25/2010
idunshire idunshire
I'd be willing to try swinging, but I don't know if I could handle an open relationship. I feel like I would get too jealous.
12/26/2010
MildOats MildOats
I did have an open relationship, but in retrospect, it was probably just an excuse for my ex to go and shag other guys without me, because she was significantly more attractive than me and being a woman, it was easier for her as well.

During the brief time when we were "open", I think she had 3 regular outside partners and I had 0 (besides her). That pretty much started the breakup - she fell in love with her lifestyle, said we really could only stay together if she was allowed to continue.

Anyway, while we were open, I met quite a few of her women friends who encouraged her to do this also; I found that while there were quite a few couples who claimed success and that there were no problems of jealousy, I don't think they were able to do this for longer than a few years. I do keep in touch with some of them as mutual friends, and while nearly all of them are still in open relationships, almost all of them have changed some part of their partners since then, so it's kind of hard to say whether this lifestyle is "stable". They still seem happy for their lifestyle choice, but then, as one woman told me, she found being dependent on one person for her happiness terrifying and that alone made being with one person worse than being single. Go figure.

Anyway, to each his own I guess. By the way, I'm now happily married and monogamous. Feels right to me.
12/30/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
I'm in one because my husband is bi. Currently, I'm not seeing anyone on the side and don't feel like it, but if I wanted to have a fwb, I certainly could. He currently has someone else who is like extended family. The only thing that bothers me (and them too I'm sure) is that it is a long-distance relationship (3+ hours away) so my husband will go there once a month and he comes here the next month. Sometimes the timing is bad and I could really use his help around here with the kids, but we manage, plus I get the bed to myself!

I don't get jealous of them, but I get jealous that I can't get away for a weekend every month. I got one weekend to myself this year. ONE! And it was way too short and I had a terrible headache, had mountains of laundry to do, and Xmas shopping/wrapping. So I had no fun, didn't intend to, but I certainly could have had I wanted to.
12/30/2010
Taylor Taylor
I am too jealous of a person for this. However I do believe it can work for some couples if they are both on the same page and have clear boundries set. I had a friend who was in an open relationship and was really sad about it. When I asked her why she did it since it hurt her so much she said she'd rather share him than not have him at all. So it's not a good situation for everyone but I've heard it does work for some people.
01/01/2011
northstar northstar
I think if I was in a place where I didn't want a full commitment, then maybe, but probably for my own good really. I think I'm probably too jealous to want to maintain an open relation for too long, if at all!
01/30/2011
Crystal1 Crystal1
Not something I would be happy with, although I can see how it works for some people.
01/30/2011
BluePixi BluePixi
An open relationship seems to be a very fluid concept. This is one of those subjects that has to be taken on a case by case basis. I would consider it but I would have to know the other people involved very well before it was suggested to me.
01/30/2011
Solar Ray Solar Ray
I've never done it and doubt if I would as too many issues could/would crop up. I like to keep things simple and a monogamous relationship is best suited to my personality.
02/25/2011
Willis2011 Willis2011
I would never be apart of one
04/22/2011
zeebot zeebot
Yes, but it wasn't the best situation because neither of us were open about what we felt. Didn't work out super well.
04/22/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
It's not for me, but if it works for you, that's totally fine!
04/22/2011
Mommy2 Mommy2
no and I dont want to be either!!!
04/22/2011
Total posts: 25
Unique posters: 25