He says no to toys; how can I persuade him?

GingerSpice GingerSpice
Blade
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This one seems like my guy would really like it, hence the "sword" handle look, but he always tells me he wont use toys. any first timers out there I could relay stories with, maybe to pursuede him to try??
12/05/2012
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XxXxX XxXxX
Quote:
Originally posted by GingerSpice
This one seems like my guy would really like it, hence the "sword" handle look, but he always tells me he wont use toys. any first timers out there I could relay stories with, maybe to pursuede him to try??
Tell him that you heard about using it on him and it made you hot. Maybe he will try it for you. Once he tries it, he can decide for himself whether he wants to do it himself or not.

I would also ask hum why he is so against toys. Maybe he just doesnt feel comfortable, or maybe he doesnt want to be "the kind of guy that owns sex toys". That was kind of what it was like with my ex, and on another side he didnt want it to go from masturbators to pegging or something. He was more of a "me tarzan you jane, I fuck you get fucked" guy. After I made it sound like the hottest thing in the world, he was ready to give it a whirl. As long as it was just the four play.

People always come to their own conclusions, if you really want him to try it once, make a deal to do something special that he wants to try, or make it sound sensual and fun for both of you.
12/05/2012
GingerSpice GingerSpice
Quote:
Originally posted by XxXxX
Tell him that you heard about using it on him and it made you hot. Maybe he will try it for you. Once he tries it, he can decide for himself whether he wants to do it himself or not.

I would also ask hum why he is so against toys. Maybe he ... More
Thanks im slowly but surely bringing him out of his shell with using my toys on me....i just know he would dig this, if he would open up a little
12/05/2012
dindagail dindagail
For me I let mine catch me using my toy, I pretended that he wasn't there and after a minute of watching me pleasure myself. He asked if he could join in lol. After seeing how much pleasure it bring's he was convinced to give it a try!! He hasn't turned back since that evening!
12/05/2012
Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
I first initiated my boyfriend with a Tenga Egg. It's small, cheaper, and disposable eventually. They won't probably last more than a dozen good use,s but it's sufficient to know if he'd be interested in something more lasting and expensive.

And an Egg is small enough for you to use it on him during an oral play session. Sometimes, having a girlfriend be the one to control makes it a little bit more okay, but it's not guaranteed. Get him used to being submissive to your attentions, and at one point, introduce the Egg.

Good luck!
12/08/2012
ASpiritedSlut ASpiritedSlut
I'd purchase something by Tenga, with are very nice and also affordable, and then just leave it be for a while. I have a feeling that if he has it, he'll eventually get too curious and have to give it a shot. Move up to something more expensive once he's into it a bit more.
12/08/2012
babymario babymario
Don't invest too much at first on a toy because he may never like it. I personally think the tenga deep throat is a great place to start off.
12/09/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
If he's not interested I wouldn't push it. Express your desire to please him, but don't pressure him into it. He won't enjoy it if he feels like he has to do it and doesn't want to. I would start with something that he can use on you, then maybe graduate to something you can use together, like a cock ring. Maybe even simply start off with a different lubricant. Starting small and allowing him to voice his feelings are important. Jumping right in to a masturbator might be too overwhelming for him.
12/09/2012
Gone. Gone.
Quote:
Originally posted by XxXxX
Tell him that you heard about using it on him and it made you hot. Maybe he will try it for you. Once he tries it, he can decide for himself whether he wants to do it himself or not.

I would also ask hum why he is so against toys. Maybe he ... More
XD XD XD XD XD XD @ your middle paragraph. xD
01/24/2013
Petite Cannibal Petite Cannibal
Quote:
Originally posted by GingerSpice
This one seems like my guy would really like it, hence the "sword" handle look, but he always tells me he wont use toys. any first timers out there I could relay stories with, maybe to pursuede him to try??
As Lillie Lovely stated, you can tell him it just makes you really hot and wet. Also make sure you really delve deep into a conversation on why he's so against using toys. What's harm? Does it make him insecure, what?
02/12/2013
GingerSpice GingerSpice
I got him the tenga egg, just to try (i even used it on him, he didn't have to touch it)...said it felt unnatural...lol....i guess i should appreciate that he loves the way i feel....just am a toy lover and wanted to share the love...maybe he'll warm up one day...thanks for all your input guys
04/18/2013
GingerSpice GingerSpice
Quote:
Originally posted by GingerSpice
I got him the tenga egg, just to try (i even used it on him, he didn't have to touch it)...said it felt unnatural...lol....i guess i should appreciate that he loves the way i feel....just am a toy lover and wanted to share the love...maybe ... More
....and yes...he absolutely loves to use all my toys on me and we use cockrings and such...so no problems there....just wanted some boy toys in the box...lol
04/18/2013
surreptitious surreptitious
I'm rather shocked at the number of people who thought that you should push it. I'm glad that you did find something to try and that he was a good sport about it, but if someone tried to convince me to do something sexual that I wasn't interested in, I'd be pretty pissed off. I can completely understand wanting to share your love of toys, I am just a little stunned that in a forum where people are so sexually open, there wasn't more support for just letting him be. Choosing not to use toys is as much someone's right as it is to choose to use them, and I imagine that if someone had posted a question asking how to stop their significant other from using toys, the response would have been different.

Anyways, it's all over now, I'm just adding my two cents after the fact.
04/18/2013
ashboo32 ashboo32
If he isn't comfortable I wouldn't be too persistent but over time he may be willing if he knows how much u would be into it. Start slow.
04/19/2013
Hummingbird Hummingbird
I agree to take it slow with him and not force him to do something he really doesn't want to. I started my partner on toys with the free ring a pretty tame toy. He's moved up to sleeves now and is even willing to use the smaller less intimidating vibes now. But your partner has to be comfortable with it too.
04/19/2013
NorthBayLady NorthBayLady
Tell him it will give him something to do when it is your time of the month
04/19/2013
GingerSpice GingerSpice
Quote:
Originally posted by NorthBayLady
Tell him it will give him something to do when it is your time of the month
ha! nice...
05/19/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by surreptitious
I'm rather shocked at the number of people who thought that you should push it. I'm glad that you did find something to try and that he was a good sport about it, but if someone tried to convince me to do something sexual that I wasn't ... More
I had similar thoughts!

I want to add that it could be that no matter how you reassure him, he's afraid he'll make YOU feel less desired if he gets off using an inanimate object. Or, of course, it might just seem weird to him to fuck a plastic toy--after all, we women often start out using external vibes that don't get quite so intimate with us.

On the other hand, it's been my experience that guys can be very creative about what they'll use to masturbate with; one example I can think of is a plastic baggie full of lotion placed between the couch cushions. So, I don't see anything wrong with giving him a toy as a gift, and leaving it up to him as to when he'll get curious enough to give it a try.
05/19/2013
GingerSpice GingerSpice
Quote:
Originally posted by surreptitious
I'm rather shocked at the number of people who thought that you should push it. I'm glad that you did find something to try and that he was a good sport about it, but if someone tried to convince me to do something sexual that I wasn't ... More
Thanks for your two cents gotta look at things from all angles....was just looking for some advice from people that may have been weirded out by these at first, but then fell in love...by some of the reviews, they seem great....we've been together almost 15 years and have tried everything under the sun, except for a masturbator...but thanks again for your insight on the situation
05/19/2013
GingerSpice GingerSpice
Quote:
Originally posted by FieryRed
I had similar thoughts!

I want to add that it could be that no matter how you reassure him, he's afraid he'll make YOU feel less desired if he gets off using an inanimate object. Or, of course, it might just seem weird to him to fuck ... More
thank you...lol...plastic baggie....seems cheaper that way!!
05/19/2013
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 14