I have a higher sex drive than DH, and put much, much more effort into making our sex life fulfilling than he does. The most painful aspect of this: he has never, not even once, made the effort to bring me to orgasm. How can I make him understand that this is important even though I obviously enjoy sex without orgasm?
help my husband care
Talk to him. Mirror in your words what he doesn't do in the bedroom:
"How would you feel if I only concentrated on my orgasms and not yours?"
Let him answer, honestly. And then go from there. Some people are just oblivious to things and talking about it always helps. Overtalking about it, in some cases. If he doesn't step up, keep talking and find out way. Does he not know how? Is it not important to him? Is sex in general not important to him? Just keep talking!
"How would you feel if I only concentrated on my orgasms and not yours?"
Let him answer, honestly. And then go from there. Some people are just oblivious to things and talking about it always helps. Overtalking about it, in some cases. If he doesn't step up, keep talking and find out way. Does he not know how? Is it not important to him? Is sex in general not important to him? Just keep talking!
12/10/2011
Quote:
Yep, ditto to this. Communicate, communicate and communicate some more! Use "I" statements, and avoid placing blame or criticizing. Sit down to talk to him at a neutral time when sex is not on the menu and you're both calm.
Originally posted by
Stormy
Talk to him. Mirror in your words what he doesn't do in the bedroom:
"How would you feel if I only concentrated on my orgasms and not yours?"
Let him answer, honestly. And then go from there. Some people are just oblivious to things and ...
"How would you feel if I only concentrated on my orgasms and not yours?"
Let him answer, honestly. And then go from there. Some people are just oblivious to things and ...
Talk to him. Mirror in your words what he doesn't do in the bedroom:
"How would you feel if I only concentrated on my orgasms and not yours?"
Let him answer, honestly. And then go from there. Some people are just oblivious to things and talking about it always helps. Overtalking about it, in some cases. If he doesn't step up, keep talking and find out way. Does he not know how? Is it not important to him? Is sex in general not important to him? Just keep talking!
"How would you feel if I only concentrated on my orgasms and not yours?"
Let him answer, honestly. And then go from there. Some people are just oblivious to things and talking about it always helps. Overtalking about it, in some cases. If he doesn't step up, keep talking and find out way. Does he not know how? Is it not important to him? Is sex in general not important to him? Just keep talking!
And also keep in mind that it isn't his job alone to bring you to orgasm, that's something you have a part in too. Would he be ok with you touching yourself during sex, or using a toy? Orgasms are 50/50 and we all have to be active participants in our own pleasure and our partner's pleasure.
I sure do wish you both the best!
12/10/2011
Quote:
Oh dear that is so inconsiderate of him, you really need to talk to him honestly and let him answer, he will be really gutted he cant make his own wife orgasm (or he should feel like this).
Originally posted by
AndromedaJane
I have a higher sex drive than DH, and put much, much more effort into making our sex life fulfilling than he does. The most painful aspect of this: he has never, not even once, made the effort to bring me to orgasm. How can I make him understand
...
I have a higher sex drive than DH, and put much, much more effort into making our sex life fulfilling than he does. The most painful aspect of this: he has never, not even once, made the effort to bring me to orgasm. How can I make him understand that this is important even though I obviously enjoy sex without orgasm?
My OH spend ages making me come up to 4-5 times before he even goes for it.
I really hope you can sort things out!
Mar 16, 9:08 am
Total posts:
6
Unique posters: 6
Unique posters: 6