age difference? whats that got to do with it?

I think age kinda.. well.. has to do with age. The younger, the weirder. 14 and 19 is weird. 17 and 27 is too much. But 34 and 44 or 54? Why not?

Well, there is 20 years difference between myself and my husband, and the only time we notice it is when someone refers to me as his mother.... that kinda sucks, but at home, it seldom makes any real difference.

My partner is 16 and a half and I'm 19. It's weird, its technically legal and well, I dont care, he looks older, he's much taller than me, and he's really nice. I understand that people will probably think I'm a pedophile now, but I think if you do that you're really showing your immaturity. It's like, were he two years older with the same amount of difference nobody would care. It's just because I'm over the 'barrier' and he's not. It makes no sense to me how seniors will date freshmen ( 13-17 ) and nobody bats an eyelash but then one of them passes the magical barrier of legality and it's pedophilia. My case isn't even as extreme as that and I still get shit about it all the time.

I honestly think that, except in extreme cases, people should really mind their own business. I don't support pedophilia, far from it in fact. I think its horrible and disgusting. But for some reason 16 is still considered 'too young' despite it being the age of consent in many states and in other countries the AOC can be as low as 12-13. I think we've grown way too overcautious as a society and there is a huge double standard, since once he passes the 'barrier', once again, nobody will bat an eyelash at our age diff. My grandma and grandpa have 12 years between them, so do my dad and my stepmom. Its a lot more normal than people think... but everyone still has this mentality that before you're 18 you're equivalent to a 3 year old and once you pass it you somehow gain the worlds wisdom and are able to make your own decisions.

The reality is some people mature faster than others. I know I didn't gain any wisdom when I turned 18. There was no tome of the ages passed down to me that told me how to actually handle life, and I felt as though my schooling had done a very poor job at actually preparing me for maturity since I had no effing clue what to do on my own. I was dating older guys when I was his age, also, this was considered more normal and nobody cared, but now that I am a slightly older woman dating a younger man, it is considered horrible and pedophilic.
I suppose at first glance it doesn't matter. Most people think I look 16 anyways, so at least I don't have to worry about getting crap on the street. Even the officer for my driving test today told me I looked "a little juvenile" for 19.

So.. sorry for going on a rant. But there is such a sickening double standard, like once people see that one's 18 and one's not, all their logic flies out the window. And those same people will date someone 12 years younger than them (like my dad, he gives me shit about it as often as he can).

It's very hard for us, but as the older one in the couple it is my job to support him and I recognize that I will probably end up taking care of him a bit. But I think it is much better for him to have someone to support him through his transition to adulthood who is going through it themselves (but just a step ahead) so we can share our problems and experiences in a valuable way. Most of the adults I know have long since forgotten the toils of being a teenager, new to the world, and they have a slightly idealized version of it. My mother for example, got married early and let my father carry her through life financially. This is not an option for me. My grandmother is simply of the opinion that you must work hard and that is enough. To work hard and persevere. In some cases this is true, but not all cases. Like the job market. It's not an issue of working hard anymore, its an issue of getting there before someone else does.

So.. ah, I did it again. Anyways, my views should be pretty obvious. I think its a load of crap. Theres a limit for me to what exactly is a load of crap, like I think when you're a teen/early twenties age, you should keep your dating within 4 years of your age because that is simply an issue of legality. In my state you can't date whomever you want until you're 21- before then, too far apart and its statutory rape and if the relationship is proven to be ongoing you're a sexual predator.

To me, age isn't something that has ever mattered. My partner and I have an age difference of three years physically, but a lot more than that mentally. I believe that what matters is the mental aspect, that the relationship is healthy, and that both partners are wanting the relationship in its form.

Also, my partner and I have about 14 years between us and it's not been a problem so far. I'm 21 and he's 35.

My partner and I are only a year apart, that said I know plenty of people in relationships with wide spreads (try mid-50's and mid-20's together) and it can work just perfectly. It just all depends on the particular pair. There isn't a reliable way to predict these things.

My bf is 18 and I'm 22--we met when he was 15 and I was 19. Works for us just fine since his parents are over 12 years difference, so they're okay with it.

15 years here. I'm 33 and he's 48. I don't think either one of us could be happier.

It is entirely dependent on the people involved. I am 25 and my fiancee is 40, but I am generally the more responsible one in the relationship. I pay the bills, make sure our pets are cared for, and remind him to do his share of the house work. I just got out of school a month ago, so I'm still working at my part time job for now, but once I get a real job I'll be the the breadwinner, too. I think that all this tempers the inherent power imbalance of a 15 year age difference. We have similar interests and values; which is a HUGE part of any lasting relationship. It also helps that neither of us wants kids!

I've never considered age the real important aspect of it, it's more about maturity and wisdom.

I'm 9 years younger than my husband, but I feel worlds older than him when interacting with him. I'm the grown up, he's the teen. Sir was definitely right in bringing up the 'mental age'.

I take care of the finances, and the running of the household, because if it were up to him, we wouldn't have a home or food on the table. That's just how it is with us, and we're both fine with that, because when I get too serious about things, he can bring me back down with his cheekiness.

My main concern with having a serious relationship with someone a lot older than me.. 15 - 20 years older.. would be the the fact that he would be in his declining years health-wise far sooner than I and die much sooner than I, which, of course, would suck.

Love doesn't have an age though, so depending on my feelings for him, I might.

Shelli brought something up that I'd thought about before, the ramifications of a large age difference later in life. Yes, if you're in a relationship with someone 20 years your senior, they're probably going to die first. But is that the litmus test for the viability of a relationship? How far apart your deaths *might* be?
I'll admit, when I met a certain 47 year old man, that thought ran through my head. I'm 27, that's two decades of difference. After multiple screaming orgasms I decided it was a silly thing to worry about.

It's the now that matters, not who's gonna be senile first. That's how I feel, anyway.

Well hubby and I are 19 years apart and I actually love the age difference. He is much more mature and when it comes to the bedroom, he actually takes time for me and my needs, where in my past relationships they didn't care and I had always dated men my age, so I don't think age really matters as long as it works in your relationship!

Age really is just a number. Don't worry about what anyone thinks.

I think it matters in terms of what you can relate to. My boyfriend is a year younger than my mother. But I am an old soul and can relate to what he likes, etc.

I think it's on terms of maturity level. And the age... Because 10 years may be nothing for a 40 year old dating a 50 year old. However, you say that same age difference... and an 18 year old dating a 28 year old.. They're on different levels in life.

There's only a 5 yrs between hubby and I, but before him I dated men up to twice my age. Age is nothing but I number, but for some reason I always had a "thing" for older men.