Buying a toy for your adolescent?

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Buying a toy for your adolescent?

Alicia Alicia
I don't know, I'm torn on this..I was actually talking to my husband about it earlier. I think if my kids asked for one when they were an older teen (probably 15 and up? I dunno maybe 16) I'd probably be ok with a basic type sleeve for a boy or a external massager type vibe for a girl. I don't think I'd really want to pick it out though... Once they're 17 I really wouldn't care what they bought.
06/03/2010
toxidlotus toxidlotus
I have two children. My son Sascha is 8, and daughter Fumiko is only 2. Both my husband and I have already discussed and decided it would be in their best interest to raise them being open to their sexuality. I come from a home where sex outside of marriage is evil and you only partake in sex to create life.

I grew up scared and confused about my sexuality and I'm just now at 28 becoming okay with myself. I don't want my children growing up like that, or growing up feeling like they have to hide from me or my husband. We want them to be able to come to us with open arms and ask questions in confidence. Most kids are gonna experiment and do things whether we want them to or not. I'd rather them do whatever it is they're going to do while being safe, informed and being proud of their bodies.
06/03/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
I wish my Mom had sat me down and had "the talk" when I was younger. I learned about sex from overhearing my two older brothers talk about it, snooping at their playboys,etc... Not to mention I grew up in a strict Catholic home where you didn't talk about "those things". I don't blame my Mom, that is how she was raised. I turned out AOK, so it's not her fault, but I want my children to have a healthy outlook on sexuality. My mom would have never stepped foot in to a toy shop to buy me something, but if my daughter wants something one day, I'll help her pick it out. It took me until I was almost 30 to figure out what worked for me. I don't want her to have to wait that long.
06/08/2010
BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
I have 6 kids, two are toddlers, two are 11, one is 12 and one is 15. My only daughter is 11. Honestly, I CANNOT even fathom the idea of buying my kids sex toys even when they are all grown and married. Yikes...

Of course, I have talked to the older ones about sex and all that. And they have sex ed in school. And they hear tons from their friends - but discussing toys or buying one - can't wrap my head around that one...
06/17/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
"Our Bodies Ourselves" and "What is Happening to my Body" are on our coffee table and have been since our children were young. We have always been very open about sexuality with our children, from the time they were toddlers and letting them know the REAL names for their body parts, including penis, vagina, vulva, clitoris, testes, testicle etc and letting them know "It's OK to touch your body, but if you want to play with your sex organs, it's best to do it in privacy in your room, or in the bathroom. It's best not to masturbate in the living room, especially when grandma is over."

I've never bought sex toys for my kids, but I have financed visits to Planned Parenthood and contraceptives, including a dose of Plan B when one of my then teen daughters came into our room, red eyed from crying one morning saying, "OMG, Mama, the rubber broke last night. What am I gonna do?" We ran right to the pharmacy and got a dose of Plan B. I've financed Nuva Ring payments and condoms when the older girls are low on cash (certainly a better idea than having to raise grandkids or a trip to the clinic....) and My Man has bought The Boy condoms, but the idea of actually buying a kid their own sex toy has never come up.

I like some privacy in my sex life. I think if they want the toy, they will probably obtain it on their own. We live in an area of several sex shops, and my kids have PayPal accounts so they could get sex toys from the internet if they wanted them.

I do admire the parents who have gone ahead and bought toys for their adolescents though.
06/21/2010
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
I have custody of my 3 little sisters. There all in there teens.....I wouldnt say ive sat down gave them a book and had "the talk" but its came up casually and ive meantioned what they need to know about sex and sexuality there boddies etc. They know they can come talk to me about anything and that I dont care what sexuality they choose.


They each have a few sex toys. Ive got no problem with them having a few. The internet is great, they show me what they want and I buy it. They know its to stay in there room. I would rather them do that then go stand on a street corner. Sadly ive found a great way to punish the one is to take the charger to the recharchable batteries that sits in the wall away, its messed up but works well.

As far as who pays for it I dont mind buying them toys every now and then.....I wouldnt spend 300 bucks on a glass dildo for them but I dont mind a hundred bucks for a viberator. Yes its expesnive but I dont buy the 9.99 toys for myself so ime not gonna tell them that oh a hundred bucks is to expensive when the same night i go and use my own that cost 150. They know what there toys cost, I dont ask them to pay. There pretty good about the value of a dollar and dont go to shop crazy. If they want lube for a toy watever I dont care I mean I may seem to easy goind or just plain weird to to others but it works well for them and overall there pretty good.
06/26/2010
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by chelseahotel1224
I actually was talking to my boyfriend (and hopefully husband-to-be) just the other day, and he thought I was a nut. I grew up in a house where nothing was talked about. When there was a rumor that a girl in my sixth grade class gave a boy a blow ...
" I certainly would'nt buy my 14 year old daughter handcuffs" ime sorry that just makes me laugh reading that but its totally true and correct


as far as rubber ducky not being intimidating I agree. In a way depending on how your daughter is she may find that like "mom seriously I am not two" or something like that.


I got this one for my 14 year old....it was her first and she loved it. Basic but nice. Twenty bucks is similar to what you would pay for rubber duck to. Keep in mind most girls are gonna get there first orgasm by clit stimulation not g-spot. This is nice because if she does choose to insert also itds only 1.25 in diamiter. Its only one simple dial and thats it. I would just give her regualr batteries at first cause who knows if shes actually gonna use it. If she needs more batteries I would say reachargable ones there more expensive at first but pay off in the long run and she doesnt have to get more or anything plus they seem to work better.

link
06/27/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
To me I believe that there is a time and place for everything, being 37 and male I have had my rounds with a few women and what is hard to believe is that there is so much that some have not really known about. I have helped all out of their shells so to say and now with a 11 yr old son of my own, I want him to know everything that needs to be known for him. I have never pushed anything onto him and have let him take the lead and when something comes up or he has questions he askes and I am glad that he feels comfortable in this as I know his mom wouldn't talk freely to him about things so....!

When it comes time if he wants something I will help him out! Looking at how the population see's sex even tho it is 2010 to most it is a secret that isn't talked about, but I think if we were able to talk more freely about it, the good points of it, the bad points of it, and what it is alot of people would be better off.
06/27/2010
Midway through Midway through
My mother thinks sex toys are dirty, at least she tells me so. I would roll over laughing if I found out that she actually had a stash. Having my own toy actually kept me from having sex for a while. My big joke with friends (I was 16 when I got mine, and didn't lose my virginity until 18) was that a man couldn't rotate and vibrate inside, while thrusting, and vibrate on the clitoris, AND have a red strobe flash inside his penis. My first toy was pretty epic.
06/29/2010
MEL MEL
I haven't had kids but look at it better to hear from a parent then some nut. I would help my child look at the human body as piece of art work . Each one different but beautifully in its own way. I would also help find information out there and even go shopping. I know this because my mother never toke me shop for a toy but she made me understand that it is better to get off then to have sex with everyone.
07/26/2010
Kim! Kim!
I still need to think on this. Thank goodness my son is only 4 1/2 and I have a lot of years to think on it. He knows he has a penis and finds it really great. I have no problem with this, although we do have talks about how the entire grocery store does NOT need to know he has a great penis. He is instructed to please go in the bathroom or in his room if he would like to play with it. I'm trying to be more open than the repressed home that I grew up in, that isn't what I want for my own child.
Hopefully at that point there'd be some place I could go to find help, like here or something because I wouldn't really be sure what I was looking for. If I had a daughter things would be a bit different because I would have a far better idea as to what's out there.
07/26/2010
SexyySarah SexyySarah
I'm all about my kids being "okay" with it. I was brought up in a household that it was a big no no and both hubby and I agree it's natural and if they want to do it, then we will be here for help and of course buy a toy for them if that's what they wanted.
07/26/2010
YoungCouple YoungCouple
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I still need to think on this. Thank goodness my son is only 4 1/2 and I have a lot of years to think on it. He knows he has a penis and finds it really great. I have no problem with this, although we do have talks about how the entire grocery store ...
Nothing is more epic for a young boy than the penis! I wish mine was still that fun...
08/03/2010
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
I'm with Kim! I have a boy and girl both very young. I don't tell them not to touch themselves, I only instruct them to do it in private and wash hands afterwards.
For the future, I'd love to open with my kids by suppling books (after I've read them) and/or talking, but I don't see myself buying them a sextoy as such.
For my son, making sure he has lube and tissues would be about as far as I would go. For my daughter, perhaps a "body" massager that she could use as she pleased. However, I suppose that if I had come to realize either of them had been practicing... unsafe insertions... I would probably breakdown and discuss their needs in a more case-by-case basis.
08/03/2010
sexyhellokitty sexyhellokitty
This is a great topic. I would talk to them and help them with whatever needed. I would want them to feel that they could come to me and talk about anything.
08/04/2010
onehotmomma onehotmomma
Tough question. My kids are 2 1/2 and 2 months. I am dreading what the world will be like when they are older, it seems these days kids are having sex at such a young age, what if it's even younger kids having sex by the time they get old enough to understand? I think it's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it.
08/16/2010
deltalima deltalima
I think it would depend on the situation and the child but it's something I would keep in mind.
08/16/2010
HollyB HollyB
I don't have children yet, but I know I would be open to buying my teen a toy or educational material if they wanted it. I would rather have then experimenting this way then going out and doing other things. I also think people who do have a better sexual understanding of themselves tend to respect themselves more and have better relationships.
08/21/2010
TheCleansing TheCleansing
I agree that masturbation should not be looked upon as an unnatural evil. I think fostering masturbation safely and correctly (possibly with a purchased toy) is a great idea. I'd be willing to buy my adolescent a toy if he/she wanted one.

Admittedly I'm not old enough to make that decision but as of now that's how I feel.
08/25/2010
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by HollyB
I don't have children yet, but I know I would be open to buying my teen a toy or educational material if they wanted it. I would rather have then experimenting this way then going out and doing other things. I also think people who do have a ...


Amen welll said, we need more people like you
08/28/2010
Madeira Madeira
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ...
I would have a cool aunt or someone like that talk to them about it, and do the actual buying of the sex toy to avoid making my adolescent uncomfortable (without their knowledge of my knowing). I would pay happily for it.
09/19/2010
Sweet-Justice Sweet-Justice
If I had a child I would much rather buy them sex toys then have too worry about them running around and sleeping with everyone and everything. There's no sham in natural body functions; And as a parent you should talk to your children often about things like sex.
10/31/2010
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
When my children get that age, I will definitely be the one who has the "talk" with them. I will get them a book and also answer any questions that they have. I'm not sure that I would go so far as to buy them a toy though. Not that I have anything wrong with them, obviously... I just don't think that I would feel comfortable buying them for my children, lol... unless they were adults, lol. But, who knows what my thoughts will be on that when that time comes...
11/01/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
I have kids who are finished with teenage years and kids who are just starting the "tween" years.

I know my kids would want the Earth to open up and swallow them, if I offered to buy them a sex toy. Like I said before, my kids have online PayPal accounts, and their own money so they can buy what they want. One of my girls also works in a store that sells (kind of cheap) a variety of sex toys, and I think she knows what she is doing. (She has made jokes about "Cheap, rabbits with flashing lights and a 1000 buttons on them. I never card kids when they buy sex toys, or condoms because I figure they need them, it's better than getting pregnant, and some of them will try to steal the toy if they get carded. If they know enough to pick out a toy, they are welcome to it."

I'm all for being open with talking about sex, but I think parents need to maintain a safe Boundary with their children. In our family, talking generally about sex is an every day thing. I do not my own experiences nor what My Man and I do as examples, that would be beyond the Boundary. Buying a sex toy, at least for my family dynamic, would, likewise be stepping over an invisible line of RESPECT that I have for my children and they have for me.

If they want toys, I'd be happy to give them points or anything, but I think they choose to keep their own sex lives private, which, IMO, is the best thing for us.
11/01/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
I have no issues with the idea of talking to my kids about sex and masturbation. I think that being open and straightforward with my children is the best thing for them. Of course this does not include sharing any lurid details of what goes on in my own bedroom. In my opinion children/teens should know their parents are as human as they are, but what goes on behind closed doors should remain a mystery. I want my children growing up being aware of their own bodies, not afraid of them. They should feel free to masturbate but in the privacy of their own room/bathroom whatever. I hope to be discussing sex/sexuality with them long before they are 15/16 and their friends have already banged half the school. I want them to be aware of what is involved, as well as the possible physical and emotional ramifications of sexual intercourse of any kind.

I will discuss sex toys with my children when I feel they are becoming interested in sex, especially if I see that they are not yet emotionally ready to take on the responsibility of sex. I discovered my shower head at some point before I was 10 and a vibrator before the age of 16. Neither was provided for me; I was masturbating and just happened upon them. I think that providing your child with information about their own body and giving them the tools to get to know themselves before they take on a partner is the responsible thing to do. I will not necessarily buy toys for my children, but if they ask I will gladly talk with them about it and make a decision afterward.
11/04/2010
lemony lemony
I don't have any kids but I would plan on actually teaching and keeping up with them on such issues. I never had that parental experience, I had to learn on my own.
11/24/2010
Taylor Taylor
I don't have kids, but I know when I was a teenager I would have been horrified if my parents talked to me about masturbation (especially since I was raised by my dad)

I think if my daughter expressed interest. I might get her a "massager" and if she wants to use it for something else than getting knots out of her back, then that's not my business.
11/24/2010
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I would have no problems being open about sex with a teen or accepting that they are sexually active. I'd never say that sex or masturbating are wrong, etc. I wouldn't care if she had a trunk full of toys, however, I don't think I'll ever be picking out a dildo for my child. I just find that to be a little creepy.
11/28/2010
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
I Chose "I would discuss it with them and inform them of sex toys and gladly help with the purchase of a toy if my adolescent would like one."
11/29/2010
anonymouse anonymouse
I wouldn't be like, "Happy sweet 16, here's a dildo!", but if they felt comfortable bringing it up I'd consider it. It's better then having them have random sex or, god forbid, use unsafe household items...
12/24/2010
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