Buying a toy for your adolescent?

ToxicHeart ToxicHeart
I don't have children yet but I would be happy to purchase a sex toy for my teenagers if they were wanting to try them. But before I would buy them I would discuss with them the different types, the materials and the safety that goes with them and so on and so forth so that when they are financially independent and if they are ever in the market for toys they can make smart choices. I would draw a line though in some circumstances. As for my views on masturbation, when I was a young child.. about 4 or 5 I started masturbating. Of course, being a young child I didn't understand what I was doing, all I knew was that it felt good. Anyways, my parents caught me and told me that what I was doing wasn't wrong but needed to be done in private. Getting to my point... I would tell my children that exploring their sexuality is perfectly healthy and natural. I would much rather have my children explore sex through masturbation rather than going out and participating in risky behaviors.

To Summarize... I will tell my kids masturbation is okay, but to keep it private and if they wanted to try toys I would be happy to get them one. Sexual Liberation is one of the many great gifts in life!
12/29/2010
MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
The toy is debatable depending on what kind, but im a very opend minded person. When i was growing up masterbation was never brought up in my family. I started at a young age like any other woman who grew up in a family that didn't care if you did or not.
12/30/2010
Yoda Yoda
I think sex toys are for adults, just like sex films are for adults, and like alcohol is for adults. If teens want them, they know how to get them. I wouldn't go out of my way and say they're wrong for teens to use, but I will certainly not facilitate teens possessing them.

P.S. - Teens are quite capable of exploring their sexuality without parental tutelage. While education is essential, any extra help is just creepy. I guarantee they won't want it anyway.
12/30/2010
kittychilla kittychilla
when i have children, yes, i will give educate them about sex once i think they're ready for it.

and if they wanted to buy a sex toy, yes, i'd go out for them and buy it or order it from the internet or whatever. i guess i'm just a pleaser. i'd want my children to be open with me. i'd be (or like to be) one of those parents who are like their child(ren)'s best friend. ^_^
01/03/2011
rdytogo rdytogo
No children yet, but our feeling is that we will be there for our kids in every way possible and if that is something that they want then we would probably do that. Neither of our parents had any communication with us regarding sex and although we turned out ok always felt like we could never talk with our parents about the subject and don't want that to happen with our children.
01/03/2011
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
i dont know. could go both ways
01/22/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I'd definitely rather my children learn about sex toys and how to pick them from me since I kind of know what I'm talking about and doing. Granted, I really don't want to know when he/she is using them, but I'd be supportive in helping them choose what to explore and experiment with. I've already made a vow to be extremely open with my kids about sex and toys down the road.
01/29/2011
Ash1 Ash1
its best to be honest. Hopefully you wouldn't be a young grandparent
01/29/2011
Krissers Krissers
It would of course depend on their age, and I would rather they are happy pleasuring themselves then having a lot of sex at a young age.
01/30/2011
Crash Crash
I started writing that I would not buy my kid a sex toy, but if they really thought they needed one I guess I would buy one for them. There are much worse alternatives.
02/01/2011
sweet seduction sweet seduction
I would buy my daughter a toy
02/05/2011
ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ... More
yes but they would have to pay for it....and not use it when im home
02/15/2011
G.L. Morrison G.L. Morrison
My son's now 28. There was never a time I didn't discuss sex and have positive and age appropriate books around. I did offer to buy him sex toys (a fleshlight or mouth-shaped vibe) when he was around 11. He had injured himself masturbating and I didn't know enough about penises as a lesbian to offer any helpful advice. He refused to discuss it with the dr. I polled some guy friends about being helpful sexperts. One of them showed up with book on male masturbation. Also advice about using lotion and/or a wet wash cloth. Apparently my son had literally rubbed himself raw. (Bloody raw.) I pushed for the sex toy which seemed infinitely safer than whatever he was currently doing but he said he'd rather have a subscription to Playboy. So I bought him that (and his own econo-sized lotion with a warning to keep his hands of my expensive scented stuff) then I fretted about Playboy instead of subscribing to something with more diversity of race and body type. He seems to have survived my parenting.
02/16/2011
SerenityRed SerenityRed
I became sexually active at 16, then graduated high school high school a year early at 17. I left for college and my mom didn't want me sleeping around with guys at school, for obvious reasons, so she wanted to buy me a toy. But because I wasn't 18 yet, I wasn't allowed into an adult shop. I had no idea what I wanted, how many different types there were, sizes, shapes, colors, vibrating/non-vibratin g, etc. But because I wasn't old enough my mom had to just pick one. And I HATED it. It was a purple jelly rabbit vibrator with a suction cup on the base, for shower use. It was loud too. I never even used it. Just put the batteries in and turned it on. Like I was ever going to be able to use a loud vibrator in a communal bathroom shower, or in my dorm room with a roommate...

I'm glad my mom was ok with buying me one and I understood her concern for me sleeping around, but I felt it was a little unfair to not be able to pick out my own toy when I was leaving for college. Yeah, I wasn't 18 but I was mature enough to not go in there and giggle at every penis shaped object.
02/22/2011
zeebot zeebot
I don't have any kids, and not planning to, but I think I'd be ok with getting toys for my kids once they were maybe about 15 or older, I'd prefer them to play with themselves than with other people. If I had a girl then I'd probably stick with nonthreatening clit vibes...anything else I think she could wait till she was old enough to get it herself.
02/23/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ... More
I was able to buy non-realistic sex toys as a teenager in malls. I would definitely buy my teenager sex toys simply because I came so close to getting several STDs as a teenager. I was careful to not sleep around, but some of my teenage girlfriends turned out to be rather promiscuous carriers, and I am utterly amazed that I am lucky enough to still be STD-free. Therefore, I would much rather my son or daughter use a toy if they were interested than have sex.

Not that it's an either/or thing, of course. Masturbation never stopped me from having sex, and a lack of masturbation never drove me to have sex. But I do think that a familiarity with one's own body makes for better sex as an adult, both solo and with an adult.

My mom knew about my sex toys but did not buy them for me. I once found her vibrator in her bedroom drawer. I asked what it was for, and she said it was for various aches and pains. I remember then going back into her room when I had a headache, pressing the device to my forehead, and wondering why my head didn't feel better. I still shudder at the thought.

My mom did find an S&M themed toy I had bought when I was 16. She took it away, saying that if vanilla sex was already boring to me at 16, then I was having too much sex and would grow up to be a pervert. I grew up to be a pervert anyway.
02/23/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
This is a good question, I hadn't thought about it.
02/25/2011
jazz4me jazz4me
No.... no toys for my kids either. I can talk to them about sex and when they get older I hope I can be very open with them about it but buying them a sex toy would be a big no no.
02/26/2011
Happy Camper Happy Camper
It's strange to think about because I don't have kids but I know my decisions are based on my mother.

I would gladly buy them a book and initiate conversation with them. If they didn't want to talk about it with me, I'd make that okay too. As far as buying them sex toys, I would treat it like my Mom treated just about everything. I wouldn't suggest something to them but let them come to me on their own. That way it's really their decision. I would probably make sure that the book had included sex toys just for the sake of them having good information. But I wouldn't ask them if they wanted to go sex toy shopping. They might not be ready for it. Or they might suddenly be...teenagery and decide that because I'm eager to take them, then they don't want to. I don't know. Kids are weird. Either way though, I'd walk them through the things they wanted to do. Although I recommend waiting to have sex until you're 18. I didn't lose it until 21. That's really the only solid guideline I think I'd have.
02/26/2011
meme11 meme11
good one
03/09/2011
PinkPedal PinkPedal
I never even thought about the ideal of giving my child a sex toy when she was old enough, but it kinda seems like a good idea. I mean once I learned how to please myself it kept me from having sex for a few years, I mean why bother when your already happy by yourself lol
03/09/2011
AngelicaU AngelicaU
My Mom was never the kind of person to say anything about masturbation but I found her stash as a teen so I knew she was obviously into although it still has never brought up between us but as I've grown up and gotten more into sexual things, I would like to raise my kids to be comfortable with it too. I don't mean that I'd be okay with porn being on in the living room after we have a family dinner together or anything like that but I'd be comfortable with telling them that if they want a toy, then by all means, ask me and I'll get them one. I don't want them to think that it's shameful to do it or sneak out to fuck someone instead if I can just get them an alternative. I think parents need to be more open and understanding about sex. That's why so many young kids are turning into sluts, it's because no one helps them understand.
03/13/2011
RammaJamma RammaJamma
There's no reason to hide sexuality from children, it's natural and a part of who we are. Personally, I'll be encouraging my children to safely explore their sexuality, better to know it and be comfortable with it than have to hide it and feel ashamed of their sexuality.
03/17/2011
beautiful beautiful
I have a son right now, and when he gets older, I'm sure his dad will handle the masturbation talk, which is fine with me. But if I am ever to have a daughter, I would be open with her and talk to her, I would consider, that is a big maybe, on buying her sex toy when she was around 16 if she wanted, but I would rather not because I would want her first sexual experience to be with a man and I don't want her to have a high standard because of the results of a sex toy. But at the same time, I would also rather her be using a sex toy than to be having sex with alot/random men.
03/20/2011
*Huxley* *Huxley*
I have boys, I am open with my oldest about whatever he wants to talk about. Buying sex toys probably wont happen since he is male. But buying lube isn't a big deal. I FOR SURE will be stocking him up with condoms.
03/20/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
There is a HUGE difference between what you think you might do if you have kids and what you do when you do have kids.

I found a lot of things I thought I would do, I never did, and things I never thought about doing, I did. Kids are different and you don't know how you would feel about things until you have them.

No, as I said. My kids can buy their own toys. I don't think having toys prevents kids from having sex, I have toys, I want sex ALL the time. I don't think it would be any different with young girls. (Or boys.)

It seems like most of the women on the thread whose parents did buy them toys were mortified.

Probably best to let the young person decide on their own. I think sex toys are very personal and not something most parents really actually would buy for their kids. Most kids don't want their mothers to hand them a vibrator or a dildo. I know my kids would want the Earth to open up and swallow them if I gave either of the older ones a sex toy.

Mileage and that stuff.
03/21/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Accidental double post. New mouse.
03/21/2011
cobiffle cobiffle
I would but only if my daughter was ready for it. She would have to read about them first and be serious about not having sex for awhile. Plus the toy would have to be small.
03/21/2011
soyandapplecrisp soyandapplecrisp
If it was my daughter I would buy her a sex toy to encourage masturbation over sex, and if it were a son also encourage masturbation. I generally think people should wait till late teens to start having sex because otherwise, and even then, they're probably not ready for the responsibilities being sexually active can pose.
03/30/2011
KrystalFayeO KrystalFayeO
I don't think I could ever buy my kid a sex toy. He can get that stuff when he's an adult.
04/05/2011
Total posts: 214
Unique posters: 182