Buying a toy for your adolescent?

Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ... More
i don't know, i'm not a parent but i prob would. its not buying alcohol or anything; it promotes sexual health and understanding of their bodies. sex isn't evil
04/17/2011
Batty Harlot Batty Harlot
My parents never discussed sex or masturbation with me. It was basically understood that the topic was off-limits, and that masturbation was gross or wrong. Anything sexual had to be hidden (porn of any kind, toys, etc.).

I don't want it to be that way with my kids. I want them to be comfortable talking about this with me, and I would gladly buy my child a sex toy. I'd probably feel a little weird thinking about it because, well, they're my baby, you know? But it would be for the better.
04/25/2011
PersonalAngel PersonalAngel
I feel like the more they know about toys and sex in general they might abstain from "real" sex until they are ready.
04/25/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I think it's interesting that those of us who HAVE kids have not bought our kids sex toys (although most of us are open about sexuality) yet those who do not yet have kids assume they will do so.

The boundaries that are necessary in raising teens seem to preclude most parents from actually crossing those boundaries and actually doing something like this.

I don't think people who don't have kids yet understand that most parent's most important role is protection of one's children. Part of protecting children (even teens and adult children) is respecting the child's privacy.

My kids can buy their own sex toys when they want them. (BTW, I HAVE kids, two who are considered adults) and I feel that I invaded their sex lives by assuming they would want such a thing from me.

I would have curled up into a ball and wanted to die if my mother had presented me with a sex toy. (Not that she would have, she thinks sex is dirty.) I think most parents feel that boundary and simply would not cross it.

There is a HUGE difference between being open about talking about sex with one's kids and actually becoming a PART of one's children' sex lives.

Buying condoms or birth control is different, as it a protective move to do so.
04/25/2011
Howells Howells
I find it great that future parents are so open minded! Wish it was true to the entrie population, not just the futute moms and dads of EF
04/25/2011
lisa1 lisa1
04/25/2011
mandiegk mandiegk
Quote:
Originally posted by Batty Harlot
My parents never discussed sex or masturbation with me. It was basically understood that the topic was off-limits, and that masturbation was gross or wrong. Anything sexual had to be hidden (porn of any kind, toys, etc.).



I don't ... More
This is almost house was. We never talked about sex or masturbation. My parents never said it was gross or evil, but they never had to because the Catholic school I went to did a better job than they ever could. I learned everything I knew about sex from my friends.

I definitely don't want my kids to feel like they can't come to me with this kind of stuff. I want them to have reliable information so they will be safe and healthy, but I don't know if I would go as far as buying them a sex toy - there have to be some boundaries.
04/25/2011
Fuck it. Fuck it.
When I was close to 18, my mom offered to buy me a toy. I just waited a few months to get it myself. I don't think I'd have a problem buying a sex toy for an older teen.
05/04/2011
~Brittany~ ~Brittany~
Im not sure if I could buy one
05/04/2011
Mell Mell
My mom liked to do the awkward, well you know if you can't find a guy to date you can do "other things" wink wink, nudge nudge. I wish she would have at least talked a little more in depth with me. I think I would definitely at least give my kid the information and the offer to help
05/05/2011
evelyn15401 evelyn15401
05/16/2011
big b big b
let them find there on path
06/15/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
I would buy my son anything he wanted from a site like this one that has education and safety information and a large collection without being seedy.
06/15/2011
MN58 MN58
Well I'll be glad to give and inform them about toys and masturbation but only if they are mature enough. I think i'd rather have them masturbate than be with random partners.
06/15/2011
Yessi Yessi
well i got my first one when i was 16 so i would deff. get them one if the wanted one.
06/15/2011
Eucaly Eucaly
Give them sex toys! You do not want them using odd objects around the house. Improvised sex toys can be very unsafe (especially for anal play) and if any two people in the same house are unknowingly using the same objects, diseases can be spread!
06/23/2011
Rain. Rain.
I would get my children sex toys after they were about 16 if they wanted
06/24/2011
Alura Une Alura Une
I feel strongly that it is OK to not be super-open about such things as long as a parent knows good information is being provided and they aren't totally opposed to some questions and guidance (I really don't think you should have kids if you aren't going to talk to them at all...). I suppose that if I had kids, I might have some sort of talk but mostly rely on written material. Books, my older female relatives' magazines, and later, the internet are how I learned just about everything sexual--and I actually had a better sex education than my friends with parents who open (sometimes weirdly so, I thought, in some cases.). I knew more on everything from pregnancy to sex toys, though I had waited to have sex until 18. So I don't think this way is so bad. When my imaginary child is old enough to work, if they got boxes in the mail without clear identification, I'd let them know I know a mystery package came, but keep it at that. I started ordering sex toys from the internet when I got my first job, and I was grateful that my normally nosy parents didn't ask about what I got in the mail. I wouldn't get in trouble, but it was no one's business. But would I buy a child a sex toy? No, I think hands and pillows are enough for a child. And I wouldn't want to know about their tastes, either. I'd be a little disturbed buying little Johnny a huge anal plug.
06/24/2011
Angelica Angelica
Personally I wish I grew up in a house where things were more discussed. I got my first vibrator at 15 and my mom found them and tossed them shortly thereafter without saying anything to me. I was mad and embarrassed as I bought them myself. If I had children, I would keep the doors open and allow them to purchase/keep toys if needed. If there was no way to get them locally (our local mall novelty store that sells toys nationwide got raided by cops and had all the sex toys taken), I would be open to helping them purchase online. I don't think I could give them one straight up, unless it was a discreet toy along with information. I dont know!
06/24/2011
ss143 ss143
I grew up with a mother who didn't shy away from talking about sex/sexual things we were always free to ask her questions and talk about it even now as an adult sex is openly talked about in the house. I don't see myself changing that I want my boys to be able to talk to me ask me questions and have the knowledge that yes sex is enjoyable, fun there is no reason to be embarrassed by it that its not something to be ashamed about but that it can also be dangerous and they need to make good wise choices when getting involved with sex. If they need or ask for condoms /birth control we have no problem with that as for the toy aspect I am not sure I guess their dad and I will have to cross that bridge if and when we get there
06/24/2011
emiliaa emiliaa
Interesting poll, very interesting--I have no intent of having kids, though, so I can't say much for it. Haha.
06/30/2011
null null
I only wish my mom had been this open with me. If she had gotten me a toy when I was young, would it have been awkward? Hell yes! Would I have gotten over the awkwardness and thanked her for it? An even bigger yes! When I was young I was taught that sex in general was bad, especially masturbation (I've been told "if it feels good, you shouldn't be doing it"), but when I was younger, I used random household objects. Not a good way to start out
Would I give my hypothetical children toys? Most likely, yes. Small, nonthreatening toys, with enough information to explain, but not so much as to creep them out.
07/17/2011
Beck Beck
I have two boys they are going to find daddy's playboy, maxim, and our porn collection anyhow. I may as well give them some, I would buy them toy if they would like but I do not want them leaving it around or do I want to see them do it. I am hoping to have a girl on day, I am sure she will find my toy collection. I will gladly buy her a toy! Nothing to big or loud just like a traditional vibe or bullet.
07/19/2011
Vanessa Weiss Vanessa Weiss
I grew up in a household where sex was never, ever, EVER discussed. I think I said the word "sex" to my mom for the first time when I was 22, and it was in connection with the fact that I had a bladder infection. Yikes.

To be honest though, even though I do not plan on having children any time soon (if at all - I'm quite happy being child free), I would wait for them to bring it up. I believe that IF I ever have offspring, I will educate about sex in general as it becomes appropriate starting... well, as early as I have to! But buying a toy or something is something they would have to ASK me for.

Gladly will give information, education, birth control, talk about sex, kink, or relationships though. If my partner and I chose to have children together there is a good chance that they would stumble upon our somewhat vast collection of... stuff. Someday.

If my hypothetical, teenaged son or daughter came to me and asked, though? I doubt I'd have a problem with it.
07/20/2011
Kkay Kkay
I played with unsafe things as a kid, so I would probably be pretty open about getting something proper. That, and I believe partnered sex is for partnered sex and masturbation is for orgasms.
07/26/2011
bayosgirl bayosgirl
When I have children, I will definitely talk to them about masturbation and sex toys. I want them to feel like they can be open with me. I also want them to be safe (I'm especially thinking about makeshift 'toys' that could break off in the butt and be potentially dangerous.)
07/26/2011
Sinfully Sinfully
hmm.. Im not sure.
07/26/2011
Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
If my adolescent requested it of me I probably would. I'm wondering though, is there any possibility of legal ramifications for this? Since you have to be an adult to purchase sex toys, is it legal to distribute them to a minor?
07/26/2011
kjkitty kjkitty
The closest my mom and I ever got to talking about masturbation was when my little sister and I were watching an episode of secret life of the american teenager. One of the moms on the show is telling her daughter about masturbation as a alternative to sex. My mom happened to come in right as that point in the show was coming up and her comment was, "Well, at least I don't have to have that discussion with you now." It was embarrassing, but got her point across pretty well!!
07/26/2011
Callisto Callisto
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ... More
I went to my mom around the age of 15 when I just started masturbation and we did discuss getting a "toy" but it wasn't an dildo or phallic-shaped vibrator but a conair massager from walgreens. I did hint at wanting a rabbit but I was still a virgin so my mom wanted to keep that intact.

Around 2 years ago + (I'm 26 now) she got me a hitachi wand.

If my daughter brought it up cause of old episodes of sex and the city or the ever growing television mentioning vibrators or masturbatory aids. I'd prolly get her a massager if she asked, even if it had to be behind my husband's back.
08/02/2011
Total posts: 214
Unique posters: 182