Buying a toy for your adolescent?

yeah i'd help them get one (if i ever wanted kids). i've been buying sex toys since i was 14, my parents never knew.

I don't have any children myself, but I have a whole lot of nieces and nephews sex isn't a big hush hush as it was when I was a kid ( I'm only 24 ) but even back then I knew what it was and a lot of kids in the same middle school as I was in were already doing it. My mother never spoke to me about it, and even now at 24 not once has my mom brought it up. I asked her but she always pushed the conversation else where. I don't want my nieces and nephews, even my younger cousins, feeling as if they can't talk to someone about whatever questions they have or will have in the future. One of my brothers and his wife asked me to talk to their oldest daughter in another year or two about sex and puberty, which I will gladly do.

I think of it like this. I would rather have my nieces / nephews / cousins and even any future children I have to be comfortable enough to come ask me for answers or advice. And I would rather them find self pleasure than ending up like my mom did, 13 and pregnant with 6 kids by time she was 22.

If u have a teenager braisen enough to ask u to buy them a sex toy for themselves you've got big social problems, that would be an awful mood crusher to be playing with a toy your mom bought u. Can we say living in the basement forever.

I've been freaked out by the thought of dealing with my future kid's sexuality in generally, let alone toy shopping.

Me and my wife were both a little different then the norm growing up. We both waited for marriage to do anything sexual with another person.

She pretty much never thought about sexual things until we were almost married, while I was far more curious. I essentially invented my own sex toys until I was old enough to buy them for myself.

Since both approaches worked well for us, its going to be ~fun~ to decide how to approach it with our kids. I figure I've got at least a decade before I have to worry about it though.

I was raised in a very censored house and grew up pretty anti-sex and sex-negative. All of that really bothered me, and I had to spend years trying to get over my repulsion and sex negativity and all that...it took so long.

I really don't want the same thing for any kids I have/adopt in the future. Plus, I would much rather have them masturbate and know that I am comfortable with them doing so than have me not approve and them get into sneaky, risky situations to satisfy their drives.

I think it would all depend, but I would consider it. Though, I've never had plans to have children AT ALL.

I'd definitely provide information as much as possible, and if they seemed interested in toys, why not? I'd really rather they use a safe toy than improvise with something else!

This is a really great topic. I'm glad you made the poll. I don't plan on having kids, but if this ever came up in my future, I'd definitely want to encourage healthy discussion and an open minded attitude with my children, I believe. I'd consider purchasing a toy but would probably just prefer to answer questions about them/sexuality in general. There is a line that needs to be drawn.

i'd rather them do a fake vag at 15 than a real one any day.

Just a while ago, my partner, 12 year old and I had a similar discussion. Sex toys are more than a big no, more like F NO! I just don't think it's OK as a parent to provide something to get your kids off. Strang and creepy. I grew up with both of my parents talking openly about sex, not dirty stuff, but about things I should know, just the regular "talk". We regularly discussed things like that. She was open to tell me things when I asked as a kid and still we are comfortable with it, but we wouldn't go sharing experiences or anything.

Earlier, just a few hours ago, I got the Pleasure Swing and the box and instruction booklet was totally trashed in nudity. The box had to go which is no biggie, but I couldn't even keep the instructions because it contained tons of pics of naked people having sex, oral, etc! I started cutting it into pieces so we (especially kids) don't have to worry about accidentally spotting it in the trash or anything. 12 year old walked in and I flipped the booklet over. He asked to see it and I told him I was cutting it up, he didn't need to see it and explained that it contained images he didn't need to see. He sat down and watched TV and a few minutes later my partner came in and A (our kid) said "My God! You can't do anything without seeing naked stuff!" It was funny, but sad. Sad that he's only 12 and can't watch most tv channels or even get online without being forced to see such graphic shit. My partner asked what was going on and I explained to A that I didn't want him to stop coming to me with his questions, no matter what they are. I told him I want him coming to an adult he trusts and is comfortable with asking questions rather than finding answers online or by watching porn. He's VERY open with his questions. My mom got me a book that explained what to expect when going through puberty when I was a kid. It was helpful when I needed it. I would get the kids a book like that, an educational one, but as for porn or sexual "devices" no. Those are not necessary. Not having sex is not that hard and having toys WILL NOT keep them from having sex, believe me. I wouldn't object to masturbation. I don't want to know when they masturbate, but if they do, that's OK. But a porno or toy is not needed and will not happen in my house. I think today assured me that I don't have that to worry about at least for a while.

A kid can use their hands easier than a toy and plus, a teenager isn't likely to even be able to make their own bed, much less have a toy! Could be dangerous and just not a good idea IMO.

My partner came in and

That turned a little ranty, sorry. I would never buy my kids anything like that.

PS: Not to mention it's ILLEGAL!

I want the house to be open to questions when the boys are old enough to be curious, but I wouldn't feel comfortable buying them a toy.

This is at least 10 years out for us so I'm not sure how much weight I put in my answer.

I think I will likely give my son a book and some website references once he is around the age to get into that, and tell him if he has questions or is curious about toys, sex, or anything else that he can talk to me and I will not be judgmental or upset by any questions he might have.
Though I may also refer him to a guy friend of mine that could likely help him better with guy stuff.

As a guy I don't know how I would feel buying her her first toy. I would be okay with it but I'd leave that to my wife.

I don't think I would be the "cool" parent who would be totally open and comfortable talking about orgasms and masturbation with my kids... I definitely wouldn't want to talk about it with my mom, lol. But I think I would talk about it with them if they asked me - or I'd buy one for them discreetly. It's an awkward topic, but personally I think there shouldn't be an age limit on buying sex toys, and I'd rather have my teenage daughter get a vibrator than go out and have sex.

I know my answer on the poll, but I really won't know until I have kids.

i think books/resources/discus sions/communication between parents and children about sex are VERY important. my mother didn't bring it up ever. and she made me feel horrible about having sex my first time. i did feel very guilty, almost shameful. communication is very important.

personally, though, i am not sure i would suggest toys. my children would have to bring up that topic on their own.

I don't plan on having kids, so "Other" vote for me.

This topic is interesting, im surprised about how scattered the results are

a book

I would talk about it with them and if they wanted a toy, I'd probably help them with that too. I figure using a toy is better than going out and having sex with someone when they are too young.

I would provide them with sex-positive and body-positive information, including information on sex toys. If they wanted a toy after that, I'd get them a simple and high-quality one. I'd get a daughter a bullet and a son a Tenga egg unless he wanted a vibe too.

Umm..is that even legal?

I would hope that my children will feel comfortable coming to myself or my partner with any questions etc. My parents always were open and honest and when I started to have sex, she gave me the Joy of Sex and answered any question from that as well. Given whatever age my children were, if they asked for my help, I would help them choose a toy. I would rather they explore their body with a toy than another individual that could take advantage of them or be just as inexperienced. It may be a little awkward, but it is better than my child getting hurt or something just because they were misinformed/inexperien ced.

And to that end, I'd probably order from a site like Eden in order to keep things as discreet as possible for my child's piece of mind.

i would definitly encourage (if i ever have any) my child to masturabation, especially if they come up to me asking me about it. it's completely normal for people to wonder about things like that, and when they reach the age of consent, and want a sex toy, i will bring them to this site, tell them pick out your toy, and even tell them which ones would be better for them material wise.

i dont want to have my child feeling uncomfortable in the area of sexuality because for me, it's completely normal.

hiding sex from your kids is the worst thing ever. I'd talk to my little sister about it if se needed anything-she's 12. There;s nothing wrong about masturbation-it's so healthy for you. I read in some religious sex education book (it was somehting about how religious parents should talk to their children about sex) how bad it is for girls to read/watch porn or masturbate because it "destroys" their innocence. We got here by reproducing. Jesus, it's normal.