Buying a toy for your adolescent?

  • Christmas shipping schedule
  • 20% OFF sitewide — Code: ENJOY20

Buying a toy for your adolescent?

thebest thebest
yeah i'd help them get one (if i ever wanted kids). i've been buying sex toys since i was 14, my parents never knew.
08/08/2011
JRabbits JRabbits
I don't have any children myself, but I have a whole lot of nieces and nephews sex isn't a big hush hush as it was when I was a kid ( I'm only 24 ) but even back then I knew what it was and a lot of kids in the same middle school as I was in were already doing it. My mother never spoke to me about it, and even now at 24 not once has my mom brought it up. I asked her but she always pushed the conversation else where. I don't want my nieces and nephews, even my younger cousins, feeling as if they can't talk to someone about whatever questions they have or will have in the future. One of my brothers and his wife asked me to talk to their oldest daughter in another year or two about sex and puberty, which I will gladly do.

I think of it like this. I would rather have my nieces / nephews / cousins and even any future children I have to be comfortable enough to come ask me for answers or advice. And I would rather them find self pleasure than ending up like my mom did, 13 and pregnant with 6 kids by time she was 22.
08/08/2011
JRabbits JRabbits
Quote:
Originally posted by Alt
Hm, any sex ed class I took never even came close to talking about masturbation.

-->"teenage guys don´t really need sex toys"
Why? I certainly would not place my penis in paper, or rubberbands... that would hurt.
When ...
I'm no expert on this but I think it all depends on the boy and his maturity level. Plus kids know much more than most of us did back when we were their age so they could already be way ahead of us and taking matters into their own hands. . . uh, no pun intended. But yeah they could get an older friend or older brother / relative to get them something and we wouldn't be the wiser. I wouldn't put it past them either, if I was a teenage boy and wanted a toy there would be no way in heck I'd ask my mom or dad for a sex toy.
08/08/2011
jessterinthebed jessterinthebed
If u have a teenager braisen enough to ask u to buy them a sex toy for themselves you've got big social problems, that would be an awful mood crusher to be playing with a toy your mom bought u. Can we say living in the basement forever.
08/10/2011
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by jessterinthebed
If u have a teenager braisen enough to ask u to buy them a sex toy for themselves you've got big social problems, that would be an awful mood crusher to be playing with a toy your mom bought u. Can we say living in the basement forever.
I would rather them be braisen enough to talk about sex with me, rather then listening to all their friends tell this and that about what it is like and what not. There are far worse things, most of the time always being open and honest with them will open the door for them to talk.

If you have kids, I guarantee that at some point that if you have children they will find them and they will be curious as to what it is and what its used for.
08/10/2011
DiscretionAdvised DiscretionAdvised
I've been freaked out by the thought of dealing with my future kid's sexuality in generally, let alone toy shopping.

Me and my wife were both a little different then the norm growing up. We both waited for marriage to do anything sexual with another person.

She pretty much never thought about sexual things until we were almost married, while I was far more curious. I essentially invented my own sex toys until I was old enough to buy them for myself.

Since both approaches worked well for us, its going to be ~fun~ to decide how to approach it with our kids. I figure I've got at least a decade before I have to worry about it though.
11/30/2011
Why Why
I was raised in a very censored house and grew up pretty anti-sex and sex-negative. All of that really bothered me, and I had to spend years trying to get over my repulsion and sex negativity and all that...it took so long.

I really don't want the same thing for any kids I have/adopt in the future. Plus, I would much rather have them masturbate and know that I am comfortable with them doing so than have me not approve and them get into sneaky, risky situations to satisfy their drives.
11/30/2011
mistressg mistressg
I think it would all depend, but I would consider it. Though, I've never had plans to have children AT ALL.
11/30/2011
geliebt geliebt
I'd definitely provide information as much as possible, and if they seemed interested in toys, why not? I'd really rather they use a safe toy than improvise with something else!
12/02/2011
12345678 12345678
This is a really great topic. I'm glad you made the poll. I don't plan on having kids, but if this ever came up in my future, I'd definitely want to encourage healthy discussion and an open minded attitude with my children, I believe. I'd consider purchasing a toy but would probably just prefer to answer questions about them/sexuality in general. There is a line that needs to be drawn.
12/02/2011
jedent jedent
i'd rather them do a fake vag at 15 than a real one any day.
12/10/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
Just a while ago, my partner, 12 year old and I had a similar discussion. Sex toys are more than a big no, more like F NO! I just don't think it's OK as a parent to provide something to get your kids off. Strang and creepy. I grew up with both of my parents talking openly about sex, not dirty stuff, but about things I should know, just the regular "talk". We regularly discussed things like that. She was open to tell me things when I asked as a kid and still we are comfortable with it, but we wouldn't go sharing experiences or anything.

Earlier, just a few hours ago, I got the Pleasure Swing and the box and instruction booklet was totally trashed in nudity. The box had to go which is no biggie, but I couldn't even keep the instructions because it contained tons of pics of naked people having sex, oral, etc! I started cutting it into pieces so we (especially kids) don't have to worry about accidentally spotting it in the trash or anything. 12 year old walked in and I flipped the booklet over. He asked to see it and I told him I was cutting it up, he didn't need to see it and explained that it contained images he didn't need to see. He sat down and watched TV and a few minutes later my partner came in and A (our kid) said "My God! You can't do anything without seeing naked stuff!" It was funny, but sad. Sad that he's only 12 and can't watch most tv channels or even get online without being forced to see such graphic shit. My partner asked what was going on and I explained to A that I didn't want him to stop coming to me with his questions, no matter what they are. I told him I want him coming to an adult he trusts and is comfortable with asking questions rather than finding answers online or by watching porn. He's VERY open with his questions. My mom got me a book that explained what to expect when going through puberty when I was a kid. It was helpful when I needed it. I would get the kids a book like that, an educational one, but as for porn or sexual "devices" no. Those are not necessary. Not having sex is not that hard and having toys WILL NOT keep them from having sex, believe me. I wouldn't object to masturbation. I don't want to know when they masturbate, but if they do, that's OK. But a porno or toy is not needed and will not happen in my house. I think today assured me that I don't have that to worry about at least for a while.

A kid can use their hands easier than a toy and plus, a teenager isn't likely to even be able to make their own bed, much less have a toy! Could be dangerous and just not a good idea IMO.

My partner came in and

That turned a little ranty, sorry. I would never buy my kids anything like that.
12/15/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
PS: Not to mention it's ILLEGAL!
12/15/2011
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I want the house to be open to questions when the boys are old enough to be curious, but I wouldn't feel comfortable buying them a toy.
12/18/2011
zwee75 zwee75
This is at least 10 years out for us so I'm not sure how much weight I put in my answer.
12/18/2011
eeep eeep
I think I will likely give my son a book and some website references once he is around the age to get into that, and tell him if he has questions or is curious about toys, sex, or anything else that he can talk to me and I will not be judgmental or upset by any questions he might have.
Though I may also refer him to a guy friend of mine that could likely help him better with guy stuff.
12/25/2011
Sublime Sublime
As a guy I don't know how I would feel buying her her first toy. I would be okay with it but I'd leave that to my wife.
12/25/2011
quinceykay quinceykay
I don't think I would be the "cool" parent who would be totally open and comfortable talking about orgasms and masturbation with my kids... I definitely wouldn't want to talk about it with my mom, lol. But I think I would talk about it with them if they asked me - or I'd buy one for them discreetly. It's an awkward topic, but personally I think there shouldn't be an age limit on buying sex toys, and I'd rather have my teenage daughter get a vibrator than go out and have sex.
12/28/2011
chibi1091 chibi1091
I know my answer on the poll, but I really won't know until I have kids.
01/06/2012
switzerland switzerland
i think books/resources/discus sions/communication between parents and children about sex are VERY important. my mother didn't bring it up ever. and she made me feel horrible about having sex my first time. i did feel very guilty, almost shameful. communication is very important.

personally, though, i am not sure i would suggest toys. my children would have to bring up that topic on their own.
01/06/2012
Apirka Apirka
I don't plan on having kids, so "Other" vote for me.
01/31/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
This topic is interesting, im surprised about how scattered the results are
02/01/2012
samanthalynn samanthalynn
a book
02/02/2012
Harpina is gone Harpina is gone
I would talk about it with them and if they wanted a toy, I'd probably help them with that too. I figure using a toy is better than going out and having sex with someone when they are too young.
03/16/2012
scaredlittleboy scaredlittleboy
I would provide them with sex-positive and body-positive information, including information on sex toys. If they wanted a toy after that, I'd get them a simple and high-quality one. I'd get a daughter a bullet and a son a Tenga egg unless he wanted a vibe too.
03/18/2012
Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
I'm a preschool teacher. With some kids - it is something more than exploration! Believe me... At the very least "pleasuring, self soothing behavior." They know damn well that it feels good, especially when it becomes repetitive and ...
LOL!!! Or they bounce with their hands up their shorts with this grin on their face.

And it goes on well into primary school!!!!

For me, if I were to have kids, I'd NEVER leave a book for them. I hope I'd be the kind of parent that can talk to them- both sons and daughters, educating them and providing knowledge from the day they are born. I mean in my opinion it comes from the very first question, "Where did I come from?"

I don't think I'd feel comfortable offering to buy them a toy just because, but I do hope that I would be the type of parent that my kids would feel comfortable telling me that they think they would be ready for one. And then I'd be very happy to either take them to a store, or look online with them providing insight and knowledge.

I'd never personally give them just a book with no conversation, as for me when my mother did that to me, it basically said, "this is what your body is about. If you have any questions, don't ask me." And it closed off a lot of topics during my teenage years. I didn't feel comfortable talking to her about sex, boys, boyfriends... and that lasts even till today. And I am thirty-one!!!
03/18/2012
comatose-kitty comatose-kitty
Umm..is that even legal?
03/18/2012
wildorchid wildorchid
I would hope that my children will feel comfortable coming to myself or my partner with any questions etc. My parents always were open and honest and when I started to have sex, she gave me the Joy of Sex and answered any question from that as well. Given whatever age my children were, if they asked for my help, I would help them choose a toy. I would rather they explore their body with a toy than another individual that could take advantage of them or be just as inexperienced. It may be a little awkward, but it is better than my child getting hurt or something just because they were misinformed/inexperien ced.

And to that end, I'd probably order from a site like Eden in order to keep things as discreet as possible for my child's piece of mind.
03/18/2012
Castielskitten Castielskitten
i would definitly encourage (if i ever have any) my child to masturabation, especially if they come up to me asking me about it. it's completely normal for people to wonder about things like that, and when they reach the age of consent, and want a sex toy, i will bring them to this site, tell them pick out your toy, and even tell them which ones would be better for them material wise.

i dont want to have my child feeling uncomfortable in the area of sexuality because for me, it's completely normal.
03/26/2012
x203 x203
hiding sex from your kids is the worst thing ever. I'd talk to my little sister about it if se needed anything-she's 12. There;s nothing wrong about masturbation-it's so healthy for you. I read in some religious sex education book (it was somehting about how religious parents should talk to their children about sex) how bad it is for girls to read/watch porn or masturbate because it "destroys" their innocence. We got here by reproducing. Jesus, it's normal.
04/17/2012
Total posts: 214
Unique posters: 182