Buying a toy for your adolescent?

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Buying a toy for your adolescent?

Chami Chami
i think it depends on the person and a toy is better than them sticking random things inside themselves lol
04/19/2012
Youssii Youssii
I'll definitely talk to my kids about sex. I've volunteered in young people's sexual health since I was 16, and I've been sexually active since I was thirteen and could've done with a way better sex education than I had.

I actually have no concept of why we hide sex from our children but are happy to let them learn about torture and genocide at the age of 11, which I think is probably far more damaging (not that they shouldn't learn about those things, but we wouldn't expect them to learn them from gossip as they often do sex).

I would be uncomfortable about buying my teenager a sex toy because it's very much something I don't think ought to be between a parent and child, but I would offer let them use my card to buy themselves one item at an acceptable age (I wouldn't want to know what it was).

I'm still only 18 and I live with my mother who constantly goes through my stuff. The solution has been to put a sex toy at the top of each of my drawers..... Hasn't happened since.
05/08/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ...
I think that this is one of those things that have so many variables to it. Firstly, my kids (even as young as they are 9yrs and 11yrs) are extremely aware of a lot of more "adult" things than they should be. Not so much xxx stuff, but they are beyond their years and have great comprehension skills. I think that depending on the child's comprehension and their maturity level AND what kind of circumstances that child is in would determine whether or not I would buy a toy or explain toys to them.

I don't want my child having premaritial or sex at a young age (like I did, then I got preggo at 15), but I don't want to tell them that sex or masturbation is bad, and have them ashamed of their body, emotions or feelings that they may not be able to control at a certain age. I think its really important to be open and honest with them, answer questions that they come to you with and make sure to keep the lines of communication open. Ask them questions, see how much they know, I think that a lot of parents would be blown away to see how much their kids know these days.

Its not something that they "wont figure out/be told or encounter" forever, so I would prefer to be the one that discussed it with them. I think that how a parent goes about it too is key.
05/09/2012
virtualmirage virtualmirage
Quote:
Originally posted by Alt
Hm, any sex ed class I took never even came close to talking about masturbation.

-->"teenage guys don´t really need sex toys"
Why? I certainly would not place my penis in paper, or rubberbands... that would hurt.
When ...
This has a lot to do with how you were raised. In our house my mom never mentioned the word sex and I don't even think she told us about our period. This is a mom of 8 kids, most of them girls. Because of growing up this way, I can barely talk to my kids about sex and don't think I would talk about toys or masturbation.
05/21/2012
jinxydc jinxydc
Sex was always a real "no-no subject" in my house. My mom rarely talked about sex and never mentioned masturbation. She always said things like that were dirty and wrong. She acted like the only things that were okay were vaginal intercourse (no anal or oral allowed!), no same gender play, no even remotely kinky things; I'm pretty sure she would be critical of anything more than missionary.

When I discovered masturbation, I loved it, I couldn't go a day without it. But because of how my mother always talked about sex and whatnot, I always felt guilty like I was doing something immoral or wrong.

Of course, I know now that it's okay, but I can't imagine how much easier my adolescent years would have been if my mother had been more open, accepting and supportive of discovering my sexuality.
05/29/2012
britanny0620 britanny0620
I'm glad I'm not the only one who had this question. My mom didn't teach me about sex and sexuality, but she was open to talking about it once I grew up. As a nervous child, I never brought it up until I was older and she'd already found my 'stash' of toys that I'd had an older friend buy for me. I'm a little bit resentful that she didn't teach me, as it would have been helpful rather than finding my own way to it - and getting in trouble and feeling like I needed to have sex to find pleasure and all that. I will definitely be talking to my kids about sex, if they're not open to the discussion I'll just let them know that I'll be there to talk if they need it and I'll give them books and/or references.
05/29/2012
meezerosity meezerosity
If I ever had a child I would give them a book and then tell them to come to me for any questions left unanswered.

Sex was very taboo for me growing up and still is, I don't discuss it with my parents ever.. I was told nothing about it. I got my period at a VERY young age (I was 9). No one had told me that such a thing even existed and I was terrified and thought I was going to die. I was home alone and called 911 and told them I was bleeding to death and scared...you can imagine how that went when my mother finally got home.
05/31/2012
Moniqua Moniqua
I would consider buying them a toy if they asked.
05/31/2012
MaeGal MaeGal
My mom never really talked about masturbation with either my sister or I, though she was always very open about everything else.
But it's possible it's just not something she thought of as she wasn't really into it. I know my sister isn't. I must have gotten this side of myself from my dad. Haa.
06/04/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
My mother just bought me a toy without asking and it was intimidating. I wish she would have approached me first and got my input on a first toy instead of grabbing something so impossibly huge looking. I'd have been less embarrassed too.
06/05/2012
Life's Little Secrets Life's Little Secrets
I chose to give them a book and talk about it with them and consider buying them a toy. I chose this because when I was that age, even though it's an uncomfortable subject I would still want my parents to talk to me about it. Like for example about the safe practices, birth control, and even pleasure. That is something I had to explore for myself and it was frustrating to say the least. I believe that talks of this nature also help because when the child starts dating it may help them in eventually being open with their SO about sex. I don't want sex to be an urge that just builds and builds over the years that it just explodes one day and they start to have sex with anything that moves. I want them to be able to release it slowly over time in a healthy form.
I just agree with what others said about being concerned with buying my future child a sex toy. Especially for teenage boys, because boys will be boys and that age we were all pretty stupid (a lot of us still are... and yes I am one of those that still is). I would want them to have one so that they can explore their bodies, and get to know them better. However, it just makes me nervous that they would take it to school and show it off to their friends. If I felt that I could honestly trust my child with not bringing it to school then yes I would buy them a sex toy. I would make them pay for it with their own money though, if they are going to play they are going to pay.
06/06/2012
g- g-
I'd just give my child an online giftcard or something. I really wouldn't want to see any of the toys my teenager would want.
Thankfully I have at least 10 years before I really need to give it some thought.
07/01/2012
marshmallow marshmallow
kind of weird!
07/06/2012
momoxd11 momoxd11
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ...
i come frome the same type of family and i understan what its like to open about sex.. i always buys sex toys fro my friends that are embarassed. im not ashamed of it... i have a two year old boy n when hes old enough i will talk to him about masterbation. it is not bad and its healthy y should he be ashamed of it
07/06/2012
Bex1331 Bex1331
I would get them one without a doubt, there's nothing wrong with it
07/06/2012
RedKyuubi RedKyuubi
Just talk I think
09/15/2012
JennSenn JennSenn
I would consider it if they asked. But I'm not sure I would do for it. Depends on how mature I thought they were. I would get them books and discuss with them if they wanted. I would answer questions truthfully. But other than that I can't really predict. I may change my mind about some things by that point.
09/15/2012
skeeterlynn skeeterlynn
I'd let them bring it up and then educate them and help them choose something.
09/15/2012
smlove smlove
This question made squick at first, but after thinking a bit, I would like if my kids felt comfortable discussing things with me. I would rather not know what toys they have, and I'd feel funny about buying them for them. But maybe if one of my friends took them shopping and bought it for them with my consent, that'd be cool. I want them to have a healthy attitude about sexuality, and if a sex toy means they don't go having sex with other people for a little while, I'm down with that.
09/21/2012
Velocity Velocity
It is really important to me that my teenagers (when I have them) are well informed about sex. In my book it should not be something that gets shoved under the bed never to be discussed.
Thats how it was in my house growing up. To my parents, discussing it with their kids was the ultimate shame. I never even got a talk about sex ever except that it was for grown-up married people.
So when I started getting aroused when I saw certain boys, or just out of the blue I was really ashamed because I thought it was wrong.
I don't want my kids to feel like they need to be ashamed of their bodies. Besides that, big mistakes can be made when you don't know anything and you just decide to experiment on your own.

So yes, I will have discussions with my kids whenever they come into the picture. And I will make it known that it's not something they need be uncomfortable about, especially if they have a question.
Will I personally buy them a toy, or let them give me their money and buy it for them?
No, because, well, thats a little weird to me. I don't want to know what they like and don't like in a toy.
I will however give them some advice, and point them to a website, or store I know is safe and where they can actually learn about materials and cleaning those certain materials.

But more importantly I want them to know that if they have a question that they can come to me and not feel uncomfortable.
10/31/2012
pussy licker pussy licker
i would help them
11/08/2012
EmuLove EmuLove
Girls are sexually ready when they are 13. Its genetics that decides this not society. Sex and pleasure is part of the human nature and shouldn't be looked down on just because of age.
01/11/2013
Munko Munko
I grew up in a very sexual household (on my mother's part anyways) and I was very sexual from a young age (quite by accident). My daughter is young but is already showing a strong awareness of her body and what does or doesn't feel good - I'm quite sure she's about to follow in my (and my mother's and sister's, and apparently cousins!) footsteps and be quite a sensual being.

With that in mind, I'll absolutely have open dialouge with her about sex, pleasure, self pleasure, etc. It can be one ended, if she's uncomfortable with the discussions, as long as she hears what I am saying and knows I will be there to talk with her if she needs me to be.

I as a young teen found my own "toys" and made use of things that probably weren't always the safest choices (or most hygenic). If I get the idea that my daughter is looking for another outlet for self pleasure we'll broach the toy subject then. I don't think I would just up and offer one, though. I think it's important she learn her own body and explore herself first, before introducing toys.
01/30/2013
LoganAshlee. LoganAshlee.
If my mum had talked to me about masturbation I'd have died.
01/31/2013
Qozt Qozt
I don't ever dream of having a kid, but hypothetically, I would talk to them about it. My parents weren't super open about sex, but I was at least able to talk with my mom about it. She also helped me get birth control when I was 16. If I ever do have kids, I definitely will raise them to be sexually informed. Buying a toy for them might be a bit awkward, but some things have to be done!
02/20/2013
hotinpink hotinpink
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ...
I would.
02/20/2013
Kirill1171 Kirill1171
I would discuss it with them and inform them of sex toys and gladly help with the purchase of a toy if my adolescent would like one.
02/21/2013
TJtheMadHatter TJtheMadHatter
I would talk to him about sex, and then tell him I'll buy him a reasonably priced masturbator if he's comfortable with that. I don't want to be a young grandma, just because he got tired of his hand.
03/29/2013
libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was reading a post about how some sex toys were banned from certain states according to morals/religious beliefs, etc.

It got me thinking about how parents in general do not encourage masturbation and tell their children its bad. I got my ...
they would have to be very mature
05/13/2013
SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
In my house my mom had our Dr. explain everything to us and answer any of our questions. Sex was not really a taboo topic as much as I think my mom was a little embarrassed at times. She also was extremely ok with a friends step mom (who was also a nurse like my mom)talking to me and answering my questions.

The way I see it looking back, my mom may have been slightly unable to handle the issue but she made sure that we had others to go to for advice and to answer our questions honestly. She also never once badgered me about my sex life with my then BF except to ask if I felt pressured and if we were safe.

Also I am pretty sure that she found my stash of toys and porn when I was teen, yet she never said a word..nor did she throw them out which tells me that she was fine with it

With my child I plan on doing the exact same thing. If he can't come to me or his dad then I will encourage him to go someone else who can be trusted to answer his questions with honest and correct information.
05/13/2013
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Unique posters: 182