Do you find that your SO has a lower libido that yours?

Noelle Noelle
Noelle
Related to: 
I am 10 yrs younger than my husband. His libido is low and mine is PEAKING! I just wonder if there are any EFers out there that have this problem, and how do you manage it? I'm desperately horney, and masterbating is getting old!
07/25/2012
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Rossie Rossie
My husband is only 6 months older than I and he has a higher libido, he's the one who complains that we don't have enough sex.
07/25/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
My boyfriend is 12 years older and therefore well past his sexual peak. His isn't as high as mine, but it's still rather high. The difference isn't enough to cause too many problems, though I do get frustrated sometimes.
07/25/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Heh, mine is lower than my partners. I'm still enjoying going along
07/25/2012
Chilipepper Chilipepper
It was one of the contributing factors of my divorce - my ex-husband's was so low, it was buried at midnight with a stake in the heart. The marriage was never consummated, and he never tried to work on it ... except blame me for getting worked up about a "genital sneeze" and calling my healthy libido "freakish". I'm afraid I wouldn't know what advice I can offer for others, except make sure the drives match up or can be worked with before it gets to be long-term frustration.
07/25/2012
Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
It was one of the contributing factors of my divorce - my ex-husband's was so low, it was buried at midnight with a stake in the heart. The marriage was never consummated, and he never tried to work on it ... except blame me for getting worked up ... More
I'm so sorry about that! I couldn't handle that!
07/25/2012
EdenUser EdenUser
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
I am 10 yrs younger than my husband. His libido is low and mine is PEAKING! I just wonder if there are any EFers out there that have this problem, and how do you manage it? I'm desperately horney, and masterbating is getting old!
No.
07/25/2012
SilverMinxxx SilverMinxxx
Unfortunately, at the moment, yes.
03/16/2013
twelve13 twelve13
We match so nicely. I'm fortunate.
03/16/2013
mpfm mpfm
He has always had a higher libido than me. As we have aged his drive has lessened a bit and might has gone up a bit, but he's still the hornier one.
03/16/2013
Lavender*Moon Lavender*Moon
I'm in the same boat as you. Unfortunately, since my SO works at his leisure the only time I can masturbate without feeling like a sex crazed freak is when I can take a long shower. I'm hoping his up coming "trip" for work will boost his libido a bit and maybe take mine down. Good luck Noelle.
Jun 1, 11:17 am
Vagiscrumptious Vagiscrumptious
Probably helps that we're both women and women peak much later than men but my wife is 26 years older and the first couple of years we were together we both had very high sex drives. Might have helped that I was her first serious relationship with a woman (don't know how she lived so much of her life dating men because it was pretty clear to both of us early on how much women were clearly her thing and I was helping her fulfill desires that had never been fulfilled). And I wasnt all that experienced in general so we had a lot to learn and explore together. Being two women our hormones made things interesting at times and that was often when our sex drives would be unbalanced. But it worked well generally and we had so much sex.

Three and a half years ago I started getting sick and turned out I have a complex mess of progressive illness so that has really killed my sex drive off considerably. Somewhere after I got sick she started menopause so her libido dropped too. But nothing like the way illness effected me and the difference between us was that once she got going and hers would raise again whereas sex would leave me in a lot of pain and exhausted. So things can get really rough because she wants it much more than me much of the time. We've really had to (and still are, heck that's part of how I ended up back on this website today!) work on things. Find ways to make sex work for me and less painful and tiring. Make compromises. I'm really good at talking dirty and writing or creating erotica so we have a thing sometimes where I lay next to her and tell her these dirty stories while she masturbates. Might be something your guy could do? Sometimes it ends up turning me on and I end up joining her if I can. And I'm always up for some kissing and snuggling when she's finished, so I'm sort of there for her and she's not completely masturbating alone. And being sick makes my situation different than yours but sometimes she gets herself off while getting me off so I don't get as tired/ have as much pain (though the actual act of orgasming always leaves me in pain from tightening up so many weak muscles in my body). I find if I do give in and we have sex even if I'm not really feeling it that tends to boost my sex drive and I know there's research out there saying if you have more sex, you'll want more sex but your husband would have to be willing to try it of course. Sometimes just talking about sex or sort of forcing myself to think about it and umagine it or browsing ses toys or watching porn help me out too. That and I've learned to run with it if I am feeling horny. We've had sex in the hospital before! Because I've learned the horniness may not last so if I can I get my wife and we do it.

It is a cruddy feeling to be the low libido partner. I wish I wanted it more (and then there's the illness guilt somewhere mixed in too). I still find my wife incredible attractive so its frustrating because I wonder sometimes, like no matter how much we talk or how many times I tell her that I am so attracted to her and she is so sexy, I wonder does she really believe me? It sucks to know she's so horny and I'm just not feeling it too. She's been amazing in the sense that she's never blamed me opana tries to be understanding even when she's going out if her mind horny. We're a very affectionate couple so we touch, kiss, cuddle a lot but there've been times when she's so horny she has to ask me not to hold her because it just makes her even crazier. It sucks. But like I said, we've been working at things, talking, trying to boost my libido or find outlets for hers. I do feel pretty fortunate though that we have really good communication and have always been able to talk to each other about our needs and desires. And I do think things have improved. So good luck. No idea if anything I've said helps but I do hope your husband and can find a way to work on things.
Oct 9, 9:00 pm
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 11