E.D. What do you do when all else fails?

Contributor: HarlequinBunnie HarlequinBunnie
HarlequinBunnie
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My husband has E.D. and is never in the mood. I thought for years it was because of me because I gained 60 lbs. and had an amputation done on my right leg below the knee. Then I thought it was from his medications for high blood pressure or pain medication. Or that he gained a bunch of weight because of a new medication he was put on (which was the cause of his weight gain) for nerve pain.

I lost the weight and he is no longer on the medications he was on. He is loosing the weight too but he is still not in the mood. He bought me a toy to keep me happy but I still want sex. He just turned 40 and I was thinking it is low hormone levels but the doctor says no.

What do I do? If anyone has any suggestions please tell me. Toys can only do so much and I feel like I'm loosing what little mind I have left.

Thank you
06/21/2012
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Contributor: Librarian Librarian
Quote:
Originally posted by HarlequinBunnie
My husband has E.D. and is never in the mood. I thought for years it was because of me because I gained 60 lbs. and had an amputation done on my right leg below the knee. Then I thought it was from his medications for high blood pressure or pain ... more
I'm sorry you're both going through this--it can be very difficult.

The stress of having ED can make things worse for him, so can focusing on it. If there's nothing medically wrong--his prostate is fine and his meds aren't the problem--then maybe it's emotional or psychological. It could be useful for him or for both of you to try sex therapy.

Is he capable of being aroused and maintaining an erection using/watching porn?

It could be to do with all the combinations of things you've said and he's just not speaking up about it....

I really wish I could help. I know how stressful it can be, but it's clear he cares about your sexual health since he's invested enough to care about you having a vibrator.

Having a healthy talk and maybe seeing a therapist could be a good way to go.

I wish you and your partner the best of luck.
07/23/2012