is it okay for an 18 year old girl to date a 32 year old guy?

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is it okay for an 18 year old girl to date a 32 year old guy?

TumorCrunch TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
it's fine with me
212  (55%)
no way!
78  (20%)
the other option
96  (25%)
Total votes: 386
Poll is closed
03/15/2011
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markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
I would say most relationships like this end in a barn burner. I'm not saying that because I think age matters. I'm speaking solely on the maturity level.
03/15/2011
Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Well who cares.

But if he is a dick to you, then do you really want to start something with him? Or do you really want to be with him?
03/15/2011
married with children married with children
why is a 32 year old man going after a 18 year old?
03/16/2011
SerenityRed SerenityRed
I'm not going to say it's never going to work but an 18 year old who still doesn't know what she wants out of life shouldn't really be dating a 32 year old. Or older.
03/16/2011
PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I have a friend who did this and it ended badly, mostly because they were in different stages of life. Age shouldn't matter, but maturity levels and what you want from life do.
03/16/2011
cobiffle cobiffle
It really doesnt matter but it would not turn out good. Most of them end with a horrible break up and people always judging.
03/16/2011
Miss Madeline Miss Madeline
Ok, your friend who is 18 wants to date a 32 year old who is a dick to you?

But does he make her happy?

I have no problem with the age difference or the idea that he is a dick to you, frankly. If you aren't dating either of them and he isn't a dick to your friend, I don't think you should be concerned either.

Just my $.02
03/16/2011
KaraSutra KaraSutra
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
why is a 32 year old man going after a 18 year old?
That was just what went through my head too.
03/16/2011
LennaKieran LennaKieran
I think it's okay. It's weird, but it's okay. I know some eccentric people who have found love outside their generation, but, generally speaking, these relationships don't last long. Maybe that's good news for you. *shrug*
03/16/2011
Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Quote:
Originally posted by KaraSutra
That was just what went through my head too.
I can't say anything on that because since I was living in hotels from 16- 4 months before i turned 21. I knew many guys of all ages. Guys 30+,40+, 50+..well you get the idea wanting to have sex with me, and a few wanting to be with me dating wise.

Some men are pigs.
03/16/2011
tigerkate tigerkate
Lol, I read the thread title and immediately wanted to go "HELL NO WHY ON EAR---"
and then I realized, oh yeah, when I was 19, I actually did date a slew of 29-30 year olds.

I had a huge amount of maturity though, and almost everyone I know remarks on it.

But what happened with all of them... Hm, a few of those boys would just randomly whip it out on second dates. Like, watching a movie, no-kissing even occured, and then I would be staring at a penis and saying "I think I should go."
And then, I had to ask myself, "Well, yeah, why is this 30 year old going after me? What does that say about him?"




I think it really depends on your friend and this guy. Do they share common ground? Or is she codependent/looking for a father figure /being pushed around /unhealthy emotionally (with or w/o him)?
03/16/2011
null null
It all depends on the people involved!
03/16/2011
MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
Honestly i find it creepy. One shes just at the legal age practicly a baby in my eyes and two she was in diepers when he was in his teen years.
03/16/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by PiratePrincess
I have a friend who did this and it ended badly, mostly because they were in different stages of life. Age shouldn't matter, but maturity levels and what you want from life do.
Yes!

I have a friend who was 20 at the time who dated a 35v yr old guy. They made a great couple but they both wanted very different things out of life. He was already settle into his life, where as she was in uni, and still had a few yrs to go before settling down. It was a very difficult break up. I felt very sad for her. They really loved each other.
03/16/2011
minifreak minifreak
seems weird...
03/17/2011
KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
I find it creepy. No matter how mature you are at 18, it seems a stretch and I think the 32 year old is a creep
03/17/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
why is a 32 year old man going after a 18 year old?
I believe that is an assumption.

I was hellbent on landing my guy, come hell or high water. I was 18 and he was in his 30's. He resisted based on the age difference and society's view on the matter.

Well, I got the guy. Our relationship is better than ever and he occasionally mentions how he couldn't imagine life without me. Sometimes going so far as to say I have kept him young. He certainly doesn't look his age. Yes, people make assumptions about our relationship. The most common being that he has a lot of money or is good in bed. Regardless of their opinions, we know the truth. I was not sheltered and our values match. We like the same music, the same movies, the same...just about everything.

The only thing that matters is respect, communication and recognizing when things are going off course and wanting to fix them. Maturity is a state of mind coupled with life experience.

It is not at all uncommon for a young woman to persue an older man if she is surrounded by 20-somethings that act like they're 12.
03/17/2011
Crystal1 Crystal1
It totally depends on the people, of course, but in general I'd be wondering why a man in his 30s wouldn't want to be with someone closer to his own age. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone, but it seems like a lot of men who date women that much younger either like feeling superior/wiser/etc, or really can't handle/keep up with a woman at his own maturity level.

Again, there are obviously exceptions. I dated a guy that was 27 when I was 19, and after we broke up I noticed his tendency to always date much younger girls, and figured out that it was because he didn't have the confidence to handle an actual adult woman.
03/17/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Crystal1
It totally depends on the people, of course, but in general I'd be wondering why a man in his 30s wouldn't want to be with someone closer to his own age. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone, but it seems like a lot of men who date ...
What is your opinion of someone who had serious long-term committed relationships with women older than him and then ended up with someone significantly younger than him?
03/18/2011
Blooddragon Blooddragon
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
I wouldnt date a girl under 25 or so. Im 34. But I am married now!
03/18/2011
ChicaPrize ChicaPrize
Quote:
Originally posted by PiratePrincess
I have a friend who did this and it ended badly, mostly because they were in different stages of life. Age shouldn't matter, but maturity levels and what you want from life do.
My thoughts exactly.
03/18/2011
liilii080 liilii080
Quote:
Originally posted by PiratePrincess
I have a friend who did this and it ended badly, mostly because they were in different stages of life. Age shouldn't matter, but maturity levels and what you want from life do.
100% agree.

If they both want to have fun, then that is fine-no problem, but, if they want something long term and they're not both at the same maturity level and life stage it will be difficult to make it last.
03/18/2011
Erotica Explorer Erotica Explorer
I have very direct insight into this question.

You see, I was 32 and my girlfriend was 18 when we met. I am now 33 and she is 19, and it is the best relationship that I have experienced. I can hear nay-sayers now--"this doesn't mean that the relationship is good"--but I'll say this: she understands me in ways that are almost frightening. And I her, as we have both put a lot of time and effort into contemplation, and apparently we think about different things than other people.

I'm not immature, nor am I a playboy or party-boy. Nor a boy of any sort. She is brilliant--not "for her age," but truly so--and we get on extremely well.

For those mentioning "stages of life" above: I appreciate and understand the argument. I even held this position and so fended off my great appreciation and interest and admiration for her for a couple of months, on this premise. However, maturity, emotional, and intellectual compatibility can trump this. Additionally, she was largely raised by people in my parents' generation--thus we have been exposed to similar lines of thought growing up.

Ansley: your efforts in going after your guy mirror those that I fended off for a while before coming to the conclusion that I would be turning down happiness and being with a wonderful person. I can appreciate this from both sides now.

Having such a large age-difference between the two of us is not what I'd have planned, but it can happen. And it can be exceedingly rewarding for all involved.
03/19/2011
Linga Linga
I have a little insight in this too, I was 20 and I was seeing 41 year old. Even though the relationship was completely sexual and didn't go much beyond that and friendship I think as long as she is an adult then it's fine. I've had several older.. much older partners and enjoyed my time with each of them. I learned a lot and my sexual appetites were influenced a lot by these encounters.
03/19/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
It really depends. Legally is it "ok"...yes. Would I let my child do it? Not in a million years.
03/19/2011
jaimijacklin jaimijacklin
I agree with Lauren.

I've done it & would do it again. Would I let my own child? Not a chance!
03/20/2011
Lithaewyn Lithaewyn
Quote:
Originally posted by SerenityRed
I'm not going to say it's never going to work but an 18 year old who still doesn't know what she wants out of life shouldn't really be dating a 32 year old. Or older.
This. The 32 year old is going to get annoyed, fast.
03/21/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Lithaewyn
This. The 32 year old is going to get annoyed, fast.
The assumptions on this thread are amazing.

I was 18, he was 34. TWELVE years later we're going strong.
03/22/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The assumptions on this thread are amazing.

I was 18, he was 34. TWELVE years later we're going strong.
Yeah.
I've dated guys much much older. It varies on the people.
Don't assume he's a creep and she's a dumb slut or anything.
Love can be found, whenever, however.
03/23/2011
Total posts: 260
Unique posters: 229