my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
is it okay for an 18 year old girl to date a 32 year old guy?
Quote:
I would say most relationships like this end in a barn burner. I'm not saying that because I think age matters. I'm speaking solely on the maturity level.
Originally posted by
TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
03/15/2011
Ok, your friend who is 18 wants to date a 32 year old who is a dick to you?
But does he make her happy?
I have no problem with the age difference or the idea that he is a dick to you, frankly. If you aren't dating either of them and he isn't a dick to your friend, I don't think you should be concerned either.
Just my $.02
But does he make her happy?
I have no problem with the age difference or the idea that he is a dick to you, frankly. If you aren't dating either of them and he isn't a dick to your friend, I don't think you should be concerned either.
Just my $.02
03/16/2011
Quote:
I can't say anything on that because since I was living in hotels from 16- 4 months before i turned 21. I knew many guys of all ages. Guys 30+,40+, 50+..well you get the idea wanting to have sex with me, and a few wanting to be with me dating wise.
Originally posted by
KaraSutra
That was just what went through my head too.
Some men are pigs.
03/16/2011
Lol, I read the thread title and immediately wanted to go "HELL NO WHY ON EAR---"
and then I realized, oh yeah, when I was 19, I actually did date a slew of 29-30 year olds.
I had a huge amount of maturity though, and almost everyone I know remarks on it.
But what happened with all of them... Hm, a few of those boys would just randomly whip it out on second dates. Like, watching a movie, no-kissing even occured, and then I would be staring at a penis and saying "I think I should go."
And then, I had to ask myself, "Well, yeah, why is this 30 year old going after me? What does that say about him?"
I think it really depends on your friend and this guy. Do they share common ground? Or is she codependent/looking for a father figure /being pushed around /unhealthy emotionally (with or w/o him)?
and then I realized, oh yeah, when I was 19, I actually did date a slew of 29-30 year olds.
I had a huge amount of maturity though, and almost everyone I know remarks on it.
But what happened with all of them... Hm, a few of those boys would just randomly whip it out on second dates. Like, watching a movie, no-kissing even occured, and then I would be staring at a penis and saying "I think I should go."
And then, I had to ask myself, "Well, yeah, why is this 30 year old going after me? What does that say about him?"
I think it really depends on your friend and this guy. Do they share common ground? Or is she codependent/looking for a father figure /being pushed around /unhealthy emotionally (with or w/o him)?
03/16/2011
Quote:
Yes!
Originally posted by
PiratePrincess
I have a friend who did this and it ended badly, mostly because they were in different stages of life. Age shouldn't matter, but maturity levels and what you want from life do.
I have a friend who was 20 at the time who dated a 35v yr old guy. They made a great couple but they both wanted very different things out of life. He was already settle into his life, where as she was in uni, and still had a few yrs to go before settling down. It was a very difficult break up. I felt very sad for her. They really loved each other.
03/16/2011
Quote:
I believe that is an assumption.
Originally posted by
married with children
why is a 32 year old man going after a 18 year old?
I was hellbent on landing my guy, come hell or high water. I was 18 and he was in his 30's. He resisted based on the age difference and society's view on the matter.
Well, I got the guy. Our relationship is better than ever and he occasionally mentions how he couldn't imagine life without me. Sometimes going so far as to say I have kept him young. He certainly doesn't look his age. Yes, people make assumptions about our relationship. The most common being that he has a lot of money or is good in bed. Regardless of their opinions, we know the truth. I was not sheltered and our values match. We like the same music, the same movies, the same...just about everything.
The only thing that matters is respect, communication and recognizing when things are going off course and wanting to fix them. Maturity is a state of mind coupled with life experience.
It is not at all uncommon for a young woman to persue an older man if she is surrounded by 20-somethings that act like they're 12.
03/17/2011
It totally depends on the people, of course, but in general I'd be wondering why a man in his 30s wouldn't want to be with someone closer to his own age. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone, but it seems like a lot of men who date women that much younger either like feeling superior/wiser/etc, or really can't handle/keep up with a woman at his own maturity level.
Again, there are obviously exceptions. I dated a guy that was 27 when I was 19, and after we broke up I noticed his tendency to always date much younger girls, and figured out that it was because he didn't have the confidence to handle an actual adult woman.
Again, there are obviously exceptions. I dated a guy that was 27 when I was 19, and after we broke up I noticed his tendency to always date much younger girls, and figured out that it was because he didn't have the confidence to handle an actual adult woman.
03/17/2011
Quote:
What is your opinion of someone who had serious long-term committed relationships with women older than him and then ended up with someone significantly younger than him?
Originally posted by
Crystal1
It totally depends on the people, of course, but in general I'd be wondering why a man in his 30s wouldn't want to be with someone closer to his own age. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone, but it seems like a lot of men who date women that
...
It totally depends on the people, of course, but in general I'd be wondering why a man in his 30s wouldn't want to be with someone closer to his own age. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone, but it seems like a lot of men who date women that much younger either like feeling superior/wiser/etc, or really can't handle/keep up with a woman at his own maturity level.
Again, there are obviously exceptions. I dated a guy that was 27 when I was 19, and after we broke up I noticed his tendency to always date much younger girls, and figured out that it was because he didn't have the confidence to handle an actual adult woman.
Again, there are obviously exceptions. I dated a guy that was 27 when I was 19, and after we broke up I noticed his tendency to always date much younger girls, and figured out that it was because he didn't have the confidence to handle an actual adult woman.
03/18/2011
Quote:
100% agree.
Originally posted by
PiratePrincess
I have a friend who did this and it ended badly, mostly because they were in different stages of life. Age shouldn't matter, but maturity levels and what you want from life do.
If they both want to have fun, then that is fine-no problem, but, if they want something long term and they're not both at the same maturity level and life stage it will be difficult to make it last.
03/18/2011
I have very direct insight into this question.
You see, I was 32 and my girlfriend was 18 when we met. I am now 33 and she is 19, and it is the best relationship that I have experienced. I can hear nay-sayers now--"this doesn't mean that the relationship is good"--but I'll say this: she understands me in ways that are almost frightening. And I her, as we have both put a lot of time and effort into contemplation, and apparently we think about different things than other people.
I'm not immature, nor am I a playboy or party-boy. Nor a boy of any sort. She is brilliant--not "for her age," but truly so--and we get on extremely well.
For those mentioning "stages of life" above: I appreciate and understand the argument. I even held this position and so fended off my great appreciation and interest and admiration for her for a couple of months, on this premise. However, maturity, emotional, and intellectual compatibility can trump this. Additionally, she was largely raised by people in my parents' generation--thus we have been exposed to similar lines of thought growing up.
Ansley: your efforts in going after your guy mirror those that I fended off for a while before coming to the conclusion that I would be turning down happiness and being with a wonderful person. I can appreciate this from both sides now.
Having such a large age-difference between the two of us is not what I'd have planned, but it can happen. And it can be exceedingly rewarding for all involved.
You see, I was 32 and my girlfriend was 18 when we met. I am now 33 and she is 19, and it is the best relationship that I have experienced. I can hear nay-sayers now--"this doesn't mean that the relationship is good"--but I'll say this: she understands me in ways that are almost frightening. And I her, as we have both put a lot of time and effort into contemplation, and apparently we think about different things than other people.
I'm not immature, nor am I a playboy or party-boy. Nor a boy of any sort. She is brilliant--not "for her age," but truly so--and we get on extremely well.
For those mentioning "stages of life" above: I appreciate and understand the argument. I even held this position and so fended off my great appreciation and interest and admiration for her for a couple of months, on this premise. However, maturity, emotional, and intellectual compatibility can trump this. Additionally, she was largely raised by people in my parents' generation--thus we have been exposed to similar lines of thought growing up.
Ansley: your efforts in going after your guy mirror those that I fended off for a while before coming to the conclusion that I would be turning down happiness and being with a wonderful person. I can appreciate this from both sides now.
Having such a large age-difference between the two of us is not what I'd have planned, but it can happen. And it can be exceedingly rewarding for all involved.
03/19/2011
I have a little insight in this too, I was 20 and I was seeing 41 year old. Even though the relationship was completely sexual and didn't go much beyond that and friendship I think as long as she is an adult then it's fine. I've had several older.. much older partners and enjoyed my time with each of them. I learned a lot and my sexual appetites were influenced a lot by these encounters.
03/19/2011
Quote:
Yeah.
Originally posted by
Stormy
The assumptions on this thread are amazing.
I was 18, he was 34. TWELVE years later we're going strong.
I was 18, he was 34. TWELVE years later we're going strong.
I've dated guys much much older. It varies on the people.
Don't assume he's a creep and she's a dumb slut or anything.
Love can be found, whenever, however.
03/23/2011