is it okay for an 18 year old girl to date a 32 year old guy?

Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by meezerosity
As long as she is a legally consenting adult I have no problem with the age difference. If you are having personal problems with your friend though I think you should bring that up with them.
Do you really think an 18 year old is more mature then a "child" of 17 and a half? Those "laws" were written when people lived into their 40's IF LUCKY, and MOST had children WELL before 20. Higher education was having finished grade school, and a career was never traveling farther from your parents farm then a horse could carry you in a day.
05/27/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Right? In 1983 he was graduating high school, I was learning how to say the alphabet and small words.
Mine was being kicked out of High school his graduating year 1988, and I was swimming in my mom's tummy.
05/29/2012
Talena Talena
I do like older men..but not much older. I am 29 now, but I think 45ish would be my limit.
06/02/2012
MaeGal MaeGal
The 14 year gap itself isn't a problem for me, it's the age of the youngest party.
I would have no problem with a 30 year old and a 44 year old dating. But 18 and 32 seems like a bigger gap, mainly because of the emotional maturity and stages in life they are both in.
06/04/2012
maddameheather maddameheather
i was 19 and a guy i was dating 35
06/10/2012
Short Cake Short Cake
I've been with my fiance for a couple years and we are 20 years apart.
06/11/2012
AlianneCimorene AlianneCimorene
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
I think it really depends on the maturity levels of both people involved, and where they are in life. My parents met and married at 22&40, and celebrated their 25th anniversary this month, so the age gap isn't to bad... on the other had, both where ready to get married and knew what they wanted out of the relationship. Since the girl here is 18... I'm not so sure that she really knows what she wants out of life, especially since the guy is probably not in the same place (figuratively speaking) as she is. On the other hand, maybe they are amazing together. It really depends on the people involved. Just be there for your friend in case she's being taken advantage of, but support her choices if this is who she wants, regardless of your personal opinion of her boyfriend.
06/22/2012
booboo111926 booboo111926
it depends on how mature they are. Age doesnt matter
06/23/2012
Sundae Sparkles Sundae Sparkles
it depends on the people. when I was 18 I dated a 25 year old man. I honestly was just a girl still who wasn't sure of what I wanted and he was a man who had an idea of what he wanted. we were together for 4 years. It ended badly. I wasnt ready for the house, kids and marriage he was.
06/24/2012
marshmallow marshmallow
don't care about what people think!
07/06/2012
LAndJ LAndJ
To each his own, but I personally wouldn't be at all comfortable with that.
07/13/2012
legna legna
Each to their own on this. What should matter is she happy. Yes she shouldn't allow him to be a dick to you cuz you are her friend.
07/13/2012
HannahPanda HannahPanda
Not a problem by me. It's situational, sometimes those relationships are okay, most of the time they don't work out.
07/13/2012
heather-mooney heather-mooney
It's really hard to say...the biggest problem for me would be just being in such different points in their lives, you know? If she's emotionally mature enough, and knows what she's possible getting into, then all systems go...I guess!
07/22/2012
Billie Bones Billie Bones
Big age gaps can be okay...but the part about him being mean to you is concerning. If a partner is ever mean to my friends I take that as a huge warning sign. My best friends are for life; lovers come and go.
07/23/2012
Ex-prude Ex-prude
There would be some seeerious judgement there and if it didn't work out, some potentials might have been scared away
07/27/2012
Supervixen Supervixen
For a relationship? I have my doubts. Even if you were the most mature 18 year old in the world, you still probably haven't had the life experiences that you'd have as someone in their 30s--I'd worry (or at least, be on guard) that it would be easy for an 18 year old to be taken advantage of, if the guy is a creep. Also, you have to wonder about a 32 year old who wants to hang around with an 18 year old--maybe she's incredibly mature and they click really well, but unfortunately, there are a lot of guys who hang around with much younger women and take advantage of their lack of life experiences, the type of experiences that make you wiser, and end up using and taking advantage of them. Those guys ruin it for everyone.

It happened to me...I had a relationship with a man 17 years my senior, when I was 24 and he was 40. It...did not end well, and the age did play a significant role in it.

Now I'm with a guy ten years older than me and it's been wonderful. I do go for older guys, but...sometimes the age gap can be a negative thing. But it also depends on the age of the people involved--a 14 year age gap, like with your friend and her boyfriend, wouldn't make me raise my eyebrows if she were say, 30 and he was 44. It's the fact that she's 18 that makes me worry. Most 18 year olds are still figuring their lives out, still have a lot of growing to do...18 is still high school age, after all. Just something to think about...
08/23/2012
JessieDawg JessieDawg
Im ok with it
09/27/2012
subwayrailings subwayrailings
i think it's mostly a problem of holding back the younger person . like, it's nice to be with someone who can navigate your twenties with you.
09/28/2012
smlove smlove
As long as the people involved are mature and legal, that's all that matters.
My wife is 25 years older than me. I was 22 when we met. I'm an old 20 something, and she's a young 50-something. we meet in the middle.
there are a lot of people that do make age-gaps looks bad. those with mommy/daddy issues that don't explore them in a safe and open manner, and golddiggers are among those that give it a bad look.
being open to love is wonderful.
10/01/2012
Subska Subska
I think it really depends on the situation and the maturity of the people involved.
10/01/2012
richsam richsam
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
u r in the relationship and if u r happy then thats it but it dont sound like u r happy
10/05/2012
mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
I don't have a problem with i (I was 18 dating someone 27). But it probably won't work...unless she's mature. However, I wish her luck and I hope things work out. Age is just a number.
10/05/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I think it's a little odd when someone is old enough to be their partner's parent. But it's not my life, not my relationship, not my place to judge.
10/05/2012
MzL MzL
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
NO - the age difference is too great. That is a manipulation set-up
10/11/2012
jr2012 jr2012
of course it depends on the people in question...but that is a pretty large age gap. That kind of thing gets gossiped about, and makes people wary, so it's hard to have lots of mutual friends (not to mention families who are okay with it).
10/11/2012
wicked weasel wicked weasel
Age does not matter most of the time, I don't see anything
wrong with this..
10/14/2012
MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
Such a wide variety of answers... I feel like my opinion falls in the middle here. Lots of people feel strongly one way or the other, but personally I feel it's a bit naive to say that age never plays a role in a relationship. Likewise, it also seems terribly unfair to say; "That'll never work!" Obviously, it can, and does, sometimes. Another important thing to note is how many people here said; "I WAS an 18/19 year old dating an older man." As in, not any more. Some people have success stories, but not all do.

I agree that the maturity of the two people is the most important thing to take into account. I'm going to be really blunt here: I don't think most 18 year olds are mature enough to be with an older guy. At 18, I certainly wasn't. And sometimes it's in very surprising ways: I don't necessarily mean to say that I was a horribly immature person, just that a few years (especially in that time zone) can make a huge difference. Even the change in maturity from high school to college and from your first year of college to your second is HUGE. I started college at 15 and after a year, I hardly wanted to talk to my friends from high school any more. By the time I was a junior in college, they were just becoming freshmen and I thought on a daily basis; "Are you guys really doing this? Come on..." And of course, although I don't feel as mature as some of the seniors I know personally, most of the seniors I know have a very different level of maturity from other students in college. People I know who have lived on their own have an even more developed level of maturity (although not all of them do). In the end, I think it's possible, but it's not advisable. Maybe he is the one... But more than likely he's not. Besides, what's a 35 year old man doing with an 18 year old girl anyways? I'm thinking that's a bad call on HIS part more than hers.
10/14/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
Kind of skeeves me out.
10/14/2012
Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
I find it to be okay.
10/14/2012
Total posts: 260
Unique posters: 229