Your fantasy partners: older, younger, same age, or whatever?

Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Generally speaking, my experiences with women my age (early 20s) have been wonderful. They were mature adults who knew what they wanted and were willing to learn new things throughout the relationship. But with a few rare exceptions, my experiences with men my age have been dismal. It's like they're all so insecure that if you so much as imply that you don't like something they're doing in bed, they flip out and call you frigid.

So I prefer men who are a good bit older than me. Usually I date men in their late 20s, since that's the average grad student age and I go to college, but...I think men are the most attractive when they hit 30. I constantly lust after men who are a full decade earlier than I am; they are the objects of my fantasies lately. To be quite honest, I think that's were a lot of my male-centered fantasies come from, since many of the "characters" in my fantasies would be around 30: teachers, plumbers, office managers (okay, now this is sounding like a bad porn...don't mind me, I'm sexually frustrated).

I never thought I'd have an age preference, but there you go! Women my age, men a decade older.

How's about everybody else?
03/03/2009
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Contributor: Nashville Nashville
I love men in their mid 40's. I'm married to a man just shy of 30 and I don't know... the older, the more distinguished.

My Hollywood crushes are all men with visible signs of facial hair and over 40- george clooney, jeffrey dean morgan, sean connery, daniel craig, brad pitt- even when they shave they still look like they need to shave.. it must be that animalistic urge in me, I remember some article I read that said when you're on the rag you're more prone to rugged types. My husband's threatened by those movie stars and likes to tease me with the "daddy" shit- trust me, I'm not into Brad Pitt because I'm looking for a father figure... I mean, have you seen that ass? And that face? Oooh.

But my fantasy guy is one that is financially secure, has a high profile career he worked many long years for, has a big beautiful home with classic touches and hardwood flooring, and maybe his own boat... that wouldn't be too shabby. He smells like musk and ceder, is an oenophilist, perhaps can play piano (think richard gere in pretty woman... but actually smooth and sexy). I fantasize about the grand hollywood kisses- where you just fall into his arms and he consumes your body, his lips linger on your body for hours in a big bed with a white canopy that seems ethereal, sweat is everywhere and your vision gets a little cloudy. He has an air of sophistication, enjoys the Opera, and dedicates himself to a very debonair wardrobe.

So I sound materialistic but I married your typical Midwestern guy, my fantasy gets to be anything I want. And my fantasies do change as there are times I dream of the big burly Irish boys that would kick the shit outta my rich, fairy princes... lol. One thing that is consistent though, 40 and up. Oh, and I do love men with accents.

As for women, I can't stand those my own age that I socialize with, they seem to be so full of themselves and too concerned with the present. I suppose a woman for me would be at least 10 years old, settled, and entering a phase of rediscovery. I want someone secure, not wishy washy- mature, confident, and someone that has owned a power suit at least once in her lifetime.
03/03/2009
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I like them a bit younger in my fantasies - somewhere around 30.
03/03/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
I love men in their mid 40's. I'm married to a man just shy of 30 and I don't know... the older, the more distinguished.

My Hollywood crushes are all men with visible signs of facial hair and over 40- george clooney, jeffrey dean ... more
Oooo, those are all good ones! I'm a real wuss for earthier men and intelligent women.
03/03/2009
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Older. Always older. Even though I'm now 50 I still want my men to be at least as old as I am. The youngest I've ever dated was someone 3 weeks younger than me.
03/03/2009
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
Older. Always older. Even though I'm now 50 I still want my men to be at least as old as I am. The youngest I've ever dated was someone 3 weeks younger than me.
And if they're a first born Virgo, even better. I seem to have my radar set for that winning combination. I can pick out the first born Virgo in a crowded room with great accuracy.
03/03/2009
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
And if they're a first born Virgo, even better. I seem to have my radar set for that winning combination. I can pick out the first born Virgo in a crowded room with great accuracy.
I have a BIG thing for Cancers. Every guy I was ever serious about was a Cancer.
03/03/2009
Contributor: Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
Older..went out with one younger guy and it was a total disaster!
03/03/2009
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
All my crushes tend to be on women older than me usually late 20's-early 40's. Go figure!
03/03/2009
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I have yet to have a for-serious lust-crush on someone younger than me. I really go for men and women in their late 20s early 30s. I don't actively plan it that way, it just seems to happen a lot. They also usually tend to be blond with blue eyes--not on purpose as well! When I first met my boyfriend, his head was shaved so I didn't know what color his hair was and he was a bit taller than me so I couldn't see his eyes that well... Later on I found out he was a blue-eyed blond. Go figure!
03/04/2009
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
Generally speaking, my experiences with women my age (early 20s) have been wonderful. They were mature adults who knew what they wanted and were willing to learn new things throughout the relationship. But with a few rare exceptions, my experiences ... more
Heh my preference seems to be slavic men...my husband is my age and wow talk about a living fantasy! My lover is 23 and again my living fantasy. Both are Eastern European and have light colored eyes and hair. I have a very definite preference for blue/green eyed men with light hair and accents. Sigel is a Jersey boy and Arch speaks polish fluently (sigh). I am very aural talk to me and I'm yours LOL

Still I have to agree about older men being much more attractive...Arch is the first younger guy to turn my head since I was a teenager.
03/04/2009
Contributor: smurfy smurfy
my husband is almost a year older than me and i use to be attracted to guys not to much older than me but lately i've totally been crushing on older men and finding them totally sexy!
03/28/2009
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I tend to hang out with biologically older people (about 10 years older), so my romantic and sexual interests favor that age group as well.
03/28/2009
Contributor: Femme Mystique Femme Mystique
I tend to be attracted to women who are just a few years older than I am.
03/28/2009
Contributor: Machina Machina
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
And if they're a first born Virgo, even better. I seem to have my radar set for that winning combination. I can pick out the first born Virgo in a crowded room with great accuracy.
Haha, nice call Tuesday. I have Aries radar. I'm a glutton for punishment.
03/29/2009
Contributor: Airlia Airlia
Older! On both counts - although women not as old as men because they seem to be mature younger...

I just crave intelligence, banter and mental stimulation. It seems the older someone is the more I get those things. Otherwise it's, "hey baby, how you doing?" (Literally!) errrr F**k off!
03/30/2009
Contributor: her.royal.redness her.royal.redness
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
I love men in their mid 40's. I'm married to a man just shy of 30 and I don't know... the older, the more distinguished.

My Hollywood crushes are all men with visible signs of facial hair and over 40- george clooney, jeffrey dean ... more
Sleeping Dreamer I have to agree! All of my Hollywood fantasy crushes are older. Gerard Butler, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Richard Gere, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan.. There is just something undeniably sexy about a confident, financially and emotionally stable man. With an air if sophistication, he needs to be worldly, and able to carry on a conversation- full of fascinating stories, very well rounded... Just... yummy!
05/17/2009
Contributor: Mamastoys Mamastoys
I go for guys my age or slightly older. Hubby is about 3 years older and it works out perfect for us!
05/17/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
I enjoy younger. Much younger. My partner is a little older than me actually, but it doesn't matter because of our personalities. She likes older men, and I truly am an older man inside. So we work out. In any case, I enjoy younger, but only in mindset.
06/15/2009
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
I usually found men that were around my age or a bit older the most attractive. My husband is 3 years older than I.

Funny thing is that we're both Leo's and both half Italian. It probably shouldn't work but it does, beautifully!!!! I think we try to use the fireworks between us for the good.
06/15/2009
Contributor: Sugar Pirate Sugar Pirate
I like a younger man. Don't be fooled though. I like a guy that acts like a man, not a boy. Though he may be younger, I like him to be in complete control of himself, and often even me, in the bedroom.
08/13/2009
Contributor: Angel deSanguine Angel deSanguine
I like older women.. typically mid- late 30s. I find they are more self assured, which is a quality I find very attractive.

Men... this one is more difficult to answer. I do like men in older as well, they are more masculine and, again, tend to be more comfortable in their skin. I tend to prefer then tall and buff with a shaved head (think Vin Diesel or Jason Statham.) However, there are two exceptions to this rule- one is my husband, he's Italian and, thus, comes born with masculine features and is incredibly sexy with dark hair, dark skin and grey eyes, the other is an incredibly, deliciously hot friend of mine- he has the dark hair, dark skin and gorgeous brown eyes.
08/13/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
My fantasy man would be 10-15 years older than I am (making him late 30's, early 40's), have a British or Irish accent, tall, maybe 6'3", well-built but not in a body-builder way, has enough money to be comfortable and enjoy the finer things but not necessarily wealthy, pale blue eyes or deep chocolate ones, self-assured, earthy, has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh, has a playful side, unpretentious, and has a deep desire to see me happy, contented and satisfied (which I would gladly reciprocate).
08/14/2009
Contributor: kitsuneyouko5 kitsuneyouko5
oh definitely older, men younger than me seem to always be immature asses and crappy bedmates. Fantasy guy? hmm...love Connery's personality, trim him up a bit, that is slender him just a tad and there you have the ideal image of the male in my opinion. The ladies...thats another story, I have a thing for the ones that look like fragile dolls it seems....slender and smooth. If youve seen the Twilight movie, chicks that look like Alice are the hot ones in my humble opinion
08/20/2009
Contributor: MattBryant MattBryant
im generally into girls a year or two older than me (im 25 currently). confident, finished their education, know more what they want out of life.. altho i tend to generally end up with the girls that are a year to 5 younger than me. oh well. :-p
08/29/2009
Contributor: Bill Ditchburn Bill Ditchburn
I've mostly been with women my own age or slightly younger. My partner of the past sixteen years is twelve years younger than me, and it's not an issue at all. We've spent so much time together, living together and working together that we've blended, to some degree. Primates are tremendous mimics!

For me, attitude and intelligence are far more important than age, and when I see people who take themselves too seriously, it turns me off.

Obviously, those who expect respect without earning it fall under that heading, but also people who are obsessed with destructive fads, and who don't recognise the fact that underneath the power suits and behind the paypackets we are essentially hunter/gatherers from the paleolithic.

Intelligence for me involves (among other things) accepting the long view of humanity, what we are and what we should be, rather than sleepwalking through life dreaming that the current oil/technology driven snapshot of everlasting western super consumption is either viable or defensible.

You can imagine the foreplay!
11/04/2009
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
"deliciously hot friend of mine- he has the dark hair, dark skin and gorgeous brown eyes."

Shame he's happily married, eh? He is incredibly sexy though. Just the right sprinkling of gray scattered through his thick, dark hair. Rich, brown eyes with a hint of gold in them that become even sexier when his pupils dilate to take in my body. Beautiful bronze skin that glistens in the heat of the sun.

My husband likes to tease me about having a thing for older men. I've always been attracted to gray or salt and pepper hair. Men like Richare Gere and Patrick Dempsey are absolutely gorgeous to me. Perhaps it's the idea that they're mature that's so appealing. They're fun to look at but I really think I married my 'fantasy partner'.
11/04/2009
Contributor: Miss Jane Miss Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
Generally speaking, my experiences with women my age (early 20s) have been wonderful. They were mature adults who knew what they wanted and were willing to learn new things throughout the relationship. But with a few rare exceptions, my experiences ... more
Mine have always been older - a decade or two older.
11/05/2009
Contributor: Miss Jane Miss Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Jane
Mine have always been older - a decade or two older.
My fantasies, not my actual partners** Just wanted to clarify.

My current partner is a few decades older than me, but he's been the only one that much older. In high school, I usually dated around my age, though I did date someone that was 4 years older once.. didn't work out, because I was more mature than him! ;p
11/05/2009
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I've done the older, same, and younger partners (never at the same time). So far though, I have found that younger seems to work out better for me (i'm a guy, fyi).

The older partner thing never seemed to end well. They seemed to expect too much. Same age (within a year or so) just seemed to end whatever and ever amen (at best).
11/05/2009