Euphemisms for male masturbation

The New Intimacy

Euphemisms for male masturbation

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Contributor: B8trDude B8trDude
I was just reading a really funny review on a masturbator where the reviewer was Punchin his Munchkin and also described several other euphemisms for "beating around the bush" . . .
08/09/2010
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Contributor: Passionate Pastor Passionate Pastor
Sounds painful...
08/09/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Haha.

My friend and I have an inside joke about this because when he said he went to walk his dog I thought he meant something completely different. So now we joke about it and I ask him "So, have you walked the dog lately? ;P"
08/09/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
The ones I've heard the most are Spanking the Monkey, Choking the Chicken, and Whipping Willie.
08/09/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Adjusting the antenna
Arguing with Henry Longfellow
Basting the ham
Buff the banana

Just some from this site I found. Pretty long list.
08/09/2010
Contributor: B8trDude B8trDude
Here are a couple of "clean" ones:

Cleaning your pipes
Polish the knob
08/10/2010
Contributor: Wayne Kerr Wayne Kerr
My dad called it "Flogging the Mule".

Yanking the Crank

Wayne.
08/10/2010
Contributor: B8trDude B8trDude
Priming the pump.
08/14/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
Bopping the bologna
jerkin the gherkin
polishing the helmet
playing with Hootie and the Blowfish
08/14/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
"waxing the weasel"

it doesn't really make a lot of sense, but the mental image is priceless.
08/14/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Taking the Old One Eyed Monster to the Optometrist. The weirdest one I've ever heard.
08/14/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Grumpy Old men was a great movie for euphemisms
08/14/2010
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Slapping the salami
08/14/2010
Contributor: B8trDude B8trDude
Jerking the johnson
08/17/2010
Contributor: bobowaxer bobowaxer
Floggin' the Dolphin and of course, Waxing Bobo.
03/13/2011
Contributor: fly1212 fly1212
Cuffing the carrot
07/24/2011