How do I bring it up to a guy he doesn't last long enough?

xcapricax xcapricax
A guy I have sex with cn barely go 5 mins if were lucky. Hes the only guy ive been with that has this prob. Id like him to last longer but I dont want to hurt his feelings or make things awkward. Is there a way I can make things last longer without him realizing it and if not how do I bring it up?
02/07/2013
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El-Jaro El-Jaro
Stamina is a big issue for guys to tackle. No one wants to be a "one pump chump" and leave their partner hanging.

Do you think it's intentional? Seriously. Don't ever assume your partner's sexual knowledge.
02/08/2013
Edeneve Edeneve
there are techniques he can use to hold it longer.
02/08/2013
indiglo indiglo
He's likely trying his very best to last as long as he can, and he's likely aware of the issue and not proud of it. Like JR said, I doubt it's intentional.

If you have a close relationship with good communication, you could talk about it gently in a non-sexual setting.

Otherwise, honestly I would just have him focus on pleasuring YOU first, then once you're satisfied he can then enjoy himself. Don't forget that this is an area where toys can be your friends when used together.
02/08/2013
stlouisxxx stlouisxxx
I'm sure he is aware of his shortcoming and isn't proud. There really isn't really a way to make him last longer without him realizing it. If you two can openly talk there are ways to help him last longer, but he will have to have an open mind. In the end he will most likely thank you for helping him be able to last longer and satisfy you.

I assume he is around your age range and would be grateful to you for the rest of his life.

You could get him aroused, and milk his prostate so the build up and pressure are gone. Then he should be able to get hard and last a long long time. There shouldn't be any penile stimulation as you don't want him to have a penile orgasm, but rather let the fluid drip out of him. He should have an empty bowel and bladder. He may feel like he has to pee, which is a good thing,either have a condom on him or plenty of towels to catch it or do it in a bathtub. If done properly he can have a full body orgasm, but not ejaculate, and the fluid should drip out of his penis.

You could also get a prostate toy like an Aneros, have sex while it is in him, he will not last long, do this a few days/weeks in a row, then have sex without and he should be able to last longer as he won't be as stimulated during sex as there won't be anything pushing against his prostate.
02/09/2013
Genderfree Genderfree
Good idea.

Do cock rings make you last longer?
02/11/2013
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
Good idea.

Do cock rings make you last longer?
Kinda sorta. It's one of the benefits, but it's never been the case with me. They definitely enhance the texture and thickness though.
02/11/2013
P'Gell P'Gell
Some men, especially younger men are very sensitive and haven't had a lot of experience, sexually, so they tend to orgasm after a very small amount of stimulation. I'm sure he feels bad about it, as well.

One of the best things to try with a situation like this is to, of course, talk about it, being very understanding and of course NO blaming. He isn't doing it on purpose.

Then, when you make love, have the first part of your love making concentrate on you (yep, "Ladies come first" is usually a sure fire way to make sure you get what you need, too.) If you require penetration to orgasm, he can go down on you while he plays with a dildo or phallic vibrator with you vaginally. (My Man is older and doesn't have this issue, but being older, sometimes has issues with mild ED, so this works for us as well.)

Talk about it when you aren't just about to have sex or have just had sex. Pick a time when the two of you are relaxed and happy and keep the conversation concerned, but not blaming at all.

And I have to add that "sex" is a LOT more than just Penis in Vagina pumping. The stuff leading up to PIV is just as fun, if not more fun in some cases. I HATE the word "foreplay" it implies that PIV is the "main event" and that anything else is just "before." Anything that turns either of you on is "sex." Broaden your definition of sex away from "everything leads to PIV" and the other stimulations (cunnilingus, fellatio, anal play, toy play, breast play, kissing, light spanking, fondling etc) become as important as PIV, which can wait until you've had several orgasms to even start PIV.

My Man and I are often having sex for an hour or more before we've even started PIV. This works for men who come too soon, those who are working on erection, and for any couple who just wants sex to last longer.

Good luck.
02/11/2013
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 7