Painful Intercourse, no idea why - Created by jnd091020 on Mar 30, 2011: EdenFantasys Forum

jnd091020

I was hoping someone could help me out. I've been sexually active for some years now but stopped for over a year due to singleness. Well I started the nuvaring and began having sex with a new boyfriend within a couple weeks. The sex was painful due to my lack of anything sexual in months, but not so bad. Well it's now 4 months later and the last time we tried having sex I almost cried because I couldn't take it. I stopped using the Nuvaring after the second round because it was drying me out and thinning areas that shouldn't be thinned and my partner was tearing me. I have terrible insurance so I've only been able to go to different Planned Parenthoods. First they told me I was too small and to give it some times, then they said I had a bacterial infection and gave me pills which didn't work (I'd already tried yeast infection medication because I'm prone to them), then they told me I had herepes because I had open "sores" (due to the tearing) which came back negative (along with all my other STI tests). We use lube all the time which helps a bit, but it's just becoming so painful I don't even want to have intercourse because I'm afraid. The pain is located at the entrance (the deeper pain has disappeared with the discontinuation of the nuvaring) and hurts the most at the beginning. He is the largest partner I've ever had so I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm tensing up unknowingly so that his added size is pushing on my already tensed muscles and that's making it worse or if there is something else wrong :/ urination is normal and pain free and I tend to be sore a couple days after sex but no pain if we don't for a few days. I'm hoping to use a dildo and try some "streching" exercises to see if that works.

Can anyone offer some advice or help?

03/30/2011

Jul!a

First I'm sorry to hear you've been having a hard time with this.

Using dildos on a regular basis can definitely help out, and at the very least you should end up having fun doing it. I'd start off with something between 1/2 of his girth to 3/4 of it and then go up from there if you can. You can also have him use these dildos on you for a while before sex to gradually warm you up to taking his whole size, similar to how one might prepare for anal sex/play, only up front. If he doesn't feel comfortable using the toys on you, you can have him use his fingers on you instead, starting with 1 and working up to having about the same thickness as his penis. Having an orgasm before sex might help relax your muscles enough to help take him as well.

03/30/2011

jnd091020

Quote:

Originally posted by Jul!a

Thank you so much, idk why I didn't think of that before. I'll see how he feels about it, he's just so sure that it's not because he's too big (slash I'm tensing) so I may have to just handle some things myself at first to see if it helps. I really appreciate it!

03/30/2011

Jul!a

Quote:

Originally posted by jnd091020

No problem! If you're able to comfortably take a toy that's the same girth as your boyfriend, then you can use those same techniques to figure out how to make it work with him too. Let me know what ends up working, and best of luck!

03/30/2011

P'Gell

I'm sorry you are in pain.

Sam gave some good advice.

May I ask you a question (I'm not a doctor but I am a nurse and have worked in Women's health, along with having my own issues with repeated infections) When you are lying on your back, is the pain at about 4:00 and 8:00 inside your vagina? This can signal swollen or infected Bartholin glands, which is triggered by repeated urinary tract or vaginal infections.

Sometimes the first medication doesn't work. Make sure they test for ALL bacterial infections, parasites like Guardella (I'm spelling this wrong) and Trichamonis, in addition to yeast and urinary infections. Often the first medication used isn't the right one. Did they give you Flagyl? Sometimes this works when standard antibiotics don't but only a doctor or Nurse Practitioner can decide what meds are best for your situation.

You need to see a doctor. PP is great, but they can only do so much and often only have Nurse Practitioners on call (who are GREAT) but the ones at PP are often overworked and can't possibly do all the tests needed. Can your boyfriend help with the doctor bills? It's in his best interests to see you healthy.

Good luck. I hope you get the treatment you need and feel better.

03/30/2011

jnd091020

Quote:

Originally posted by P'Gell

I don't exactly understand the 4 and 8 question, would you mind rephrasing? And I believe they only tested me for Trichamonis and I was put on Metronidazole for two weeks.

03/30/2011

emiliaa

It could be an infection, or you could be naturally elastic like me. Even after a week I get a little bit sore, but I've been to the GYN and they didn't identify any problems. (Though I should probably go again.) I get pretty tight/shallow after not having sex for a while. @_@ Really the best way to ease yourself back into it, aside from just the toys, is to make sure you're very wet and aroused. Just using lube won't actually allow you the elasticity that strong arousal will.

06/09/2011