Question: Why is it considered taboo to find a disabled person attractive?

I do not consider it taboo. What I consider it is rude. It IS the same was finding a "child" or "mentally impaired" person attractive, because you're looking at them sexually for physical attributes. Maybe to you, you think that finding children or those that have mental disabilities to be "fetishized" different from finding a deaf person attractive, but it is the same. People won't agree with me - but that's how I feel. Same as finding thin or plus sized individuals attractive.

Now, with that said, there's nothing wrong with finding someone that you're attracted to and they just HAPPEN to be deaf. That's completely different. But being attracted to someone based solely on that fact? No, that's inappropriate and disrespectful. less

your post is interesting. I think it posits some questions about what it would be like if we had to alter communication and how that could enhance or detract from sexuality. as a curious person myself, I find nothing wrong with it but I feel like others may have read more into it or perhaps you meant something other than what you actually wrote.

But I didn't get the idea you like people specifically because they are deaf. I got the idea that you wondered how a sexual situation might differ and potentially you are building it up too much but lots of people with different abilities bring all sorts of novelty into our lives and you cannot deny that. less

Really? It sounds as if you find all feature-specific fetishes (thin, plus-sized, race, disabilities) as disrespectful. A bit frigid don't you think?

Why not include the disabled into the mass objectification that is already taking place globally? What's wrong with finding leg braces sexy? Or preferring the wandering touch of the blind? They are intelligent, mature and fully capable to consent...unlike children and those mentally impaired. less

I do not find it frigid at all, actually. What it is is sexualizing a physical attribute, which I find to be inappropriate and rude, as I said. That is simply my opinion, as you had asked for.

Mentally disabled people can give consent. A best friend of mine is technically mentally disabled, and trust me, he's fully able to give consent, and he has a sex drive that's just as active as other individuals'. And it is rude how you said that people who are not children or mentally disabled are "intelligent, mature, and fully capable." Alright, so adolescents and people that are mentally disabled are not intelligent, mature, and fully capable? That is not really a correct statement, and you should think more on that.

Now, as I said, I do not find a problem with finding a person, as the person is, sexy or attractive. Nothing wrong with that at all! By all means, be an accepting individual who is attracted to someone even with their disabilities or flaws! But to sexualize them simply based off of those things? No, I do not find that to be right. Also, looking at the flaws or disabilities in a positive light is just fine, I do not find anything wrong with that. But again, if it's sexualized for that purpose, it's not right.

Is that making sense to you? I am not sure how else to explain what I am feeling on this subject. less

I do not find it frigid at all, actually. What it is is sexualizing a physical attribute, which I find to be inappropriate and rude, as I said. That is simply my opinion, as you had asked for.

Mentally disabled people can give consent. A best friend of mine is technically mentally disabled, and trust me, he's fully able to give consent, and he has a sex drive that's just as active as other individuals'. And it is rude how you said that people who are not children or mentally disabled are "intelligent, mature, and fully capable." Alright, so adolescents and people that are mentally disabled are not intelligent, mature, and fully capable? That is not really a correct statement, and you should think more on that.

Now, as I said, I do not find a problem with finding a person, as the person is, sexy or attractive. Nothing wrong with that at all! By all means, be an accepting individual who is attracted to someone even with their disabilities or flaws! But to sexualize them simply based off of those things? No, I do not find that to be right. Also, looking at the flaws or disabilities in a positive light is just fine, I do not find anything wrong with that. But again, if it's sexualized for that purpose, it's not right.

Is that making sense to you? I am not sure how else to explain what I am feeling on this subject. less

"Also, looking at the flaws or disabilities in a positive light is just fine, I do not find anything wrong with that. But again, if it's sexualized for that purpose, it's not right."

I think that's the gist of what he was saying. Regarding the other stuff, I think maybe Sir just meant it's not okay to objectify people, to reduce them to the sum of their parts, which I agree with. It's one thing to appreciate individual things as part of a WHOLE but the link that this person provided was clearly reducing deaf people to the sum of their parts. Disabled people are NOT their disabilities, just like women are not their tits, etc. (Sir correct me if I'm wrong, which I might be.) less

No, you're exactly correct, Sex, Lies & Law.

Adriana Ravenlust: Of course I think that a person's breasts can be beautiful, or their eyes can be lovely. But I do not look at any of those parts in a sexual way unless I have some mental attraction to the person to begin with. I would not look at a person, fantasize about them, simply because they have large hips or because they have attractive breasts. They're a human being like everyone else, regardless of their body parts, or even their physical/mental disabilities. Saying, "I wonder what a deaf person must feel like when they finish," is just very offensive. It's looking at a person as nothing more than a sexual object, which is rude, as I said. I do not know how else to explain it to be more comprehensible. less

The thing is we look at women with blonde hair and think sexy, blue eyes are dead sexy, big breasts, large lips, clear skin. Being attracted to an adult person with a disability is not the same as finding a child attractive. A deaf person isn't mentally impaired so the comparison would be insulting to said person. less

We tend to infantilize persons with disabilities because of our discomfort with sex and sexual majority. Just because you are disabled doesn't mean you are asexual or unable to stop unwanted advances. It's a very big problem in assisted living communities because these people ARE adults and sexually aware but the world wants them to remain children. People are squeamish about persons with disabilities having children and forced sterilization is illegal as well. So it's a large kettle of fish.

I can understand why people would take umbrage with your post because you are reducing people to a disability. There are plenty of people who pay attention and really focus on the person they are communicating with hearing or not. That's what you are finding attractive...the complete focus on you at that moment. It's ok to be attracted to that but realize it's not just deaf people who do this, it's a lesson for all of us really. eye contact and watching someone's face is intensely sexy to humans.

Wondering if the experience would be different with a deaf person is pefectly natural and the only part of your article I found worth reading. It is FINE to be curious but if you are that curious find someone who is willing to answer your questions. Most persons with disability welcome questions even about sex but remember that this is still a person and be polite. Most people don't consider blindness or deafness to be a "real disability" even in the blind and deaf community. So I would caution you to talk to a person who happens to be deaf just the same way you'd talk to someone who can hear you...or you might get a rich slap which would probably be deserved.

My advice would be if you find a person whom you are interested in and they are interested in you then develope the relationship to the point where it would be sexy to talk about such issues, don't use a person to fuel your sexual fantasies. I have to admit in your article that is exactly what it sounds like you are planning...but again wondering aloud (or in print) is perfectly ok and perhaps someone who is deaf will read the post and actually answer your questions! less

It seems as if you're saying that having a mental disability is something bad, and that "deaf people should not be compared because it's insulting." It's not about the condition, Airen, it's the fact that people are looking at these attributes of a human being and sexualizing them, when that should not happen. It is the same, and I do not understand why you're saying otherwise. Perhaps you could explain more on that to me, because I am not understanding why you feel that way.

Adriana Ravenlust: I'm not at a "higher level" than you at all, we are equal individuals. I suppose that I just think differently, and you're correct, operate in a unique way. I know that there are other people that feel the same way, though, as I do, and that think the same way. less

Brilliant, Airen! I must admit, the focus I received gave me a rush. Furthermore, I grew more and more curious about finding other ways to interact and communicate beyond the use of sound.

As for taking advantage of people to fuel my sexual fantasies; some people are okay with forming a sexually specific relationship. By writing as honestly as possible, I am ensuring that my thoughts are crystal clear. Of course, I can come off like an ignorant asshole sometimes, but honesty can have that effect... less