Does it hold up that women become much more sexual beings in their late thirties?

KinkyShay KinkyShay
I'm wondering who has experienced this and who has found it to be a myth.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
My sex driveis/ was highest in my late teens/twenties
11  (26%)
My sex driveis/ was highest in my thirties
21  (49%)
My sex drive is/was highest in my fourties
11  (26%)
My sex drive is/was highest in my fifties
Total votes: 43
Poll is closed
02/04/2010
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Envy Envy
I'm curious about this, too. I had a high drive when I was a teenager but was not sexually active until my 20s (now) and have little to no drive. I'm wondering if it was my bc pills (off them now), how my body/genetics is, if it's a common thing, etc etc.
02/04/2010
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
I'm sure it's different for every woman and depends on a lot of outside factors too, such as what kind of meds they're on, what their stress levels are, etc., etc. For me personally, the drive was very high in my early twenties, diminished to nearly nothing in my mid twenties to early thirties, and then went absolutely insane after 35 almost to the point of nymphomania. Unfortunately for my husband, that shows no sign of slowing yet.
02/04/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
I am still in my late 30's but my sex drive has only increased as I get older. Thing is that has a lot to do with my becomming comfortable in my own skin and actually seeing myself as an attractive and sexual woman.
02/04/2010
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
One thing I am thinking is that, as women grow older, they tend to lose some of those expectations placed upon them by society. We learn that the madonna/whore complex is ridiculous. It's okay to like sex and many women become more open expressing that which can make sense more enjoyable, thus more frequent. It certainly doesn't cover every instance but I think mindset and growing up may be the actual change rather than sex drive, sometimes.
02/04/2010
NuMe NuMe
I would say mine was highest in my 20's and now again at 50. During my 30's and especially during my 40's my sex drive was pretty dead.
02/04/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
My sex drive has always been high, with the exception of a few years in my mid twenties. This coincided with the birth of my child and all the hormonal issues/lack of time/sleep deprivation that tends to come with the package.
02/04/2010
Heather Heather
I really don’t believe it is the same for any two women. Like Alan & Michele said there are many outside factors that can dramatically change your sex drive. For me at 41yrs I’m just becoming more open and enjoying sex more so therefore I want more. Much like Airen, that has a lot to do with how I see myself. Thanks to EF and this community I’m becoming more open and have found a place to ask all the questions I have regarding sex. So having the right information helps a lot also. I have a long way to go and have more discovering to do.
02/04/2010
Sammi Sammi
I would pick two - in my 30s and 40s. Actually, my late 30s to early 40s. I'm not sure exactly if it's hormones, or being more open, or what caused it, but currently my sex drive is almost uncontrollable.
02/04/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
For my wife - it's definitely her 40's - so far. In her late 20s it was about having kids, in her 30's it was about keeping quiet 'they might hear us'. Now (in her 40's) it's 'The kids are out - let's have some fun!'
02/05/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I'm 27 but even now it seems to be increasing from 5 and 10 years ago, so let's hope it keeps going!
06/25/2010
BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
I said the thirties - I'm 37 now. But I think it depends on a lot of other factors, too. In my teens, I knew nothing about sex or how it SHOULD be so I spent all that time faking it. In my twenties and early thirties, I was in an unhappy marriage. Now I'm in a "better" relationship - or at least it was - and then my sex drive was high. As in - once every 3 months or so with my ex and at least twice a week with my husband. BUT that changes based on stress level and how our relationship is going on an emotional level - which right now isn't great. So my sex drive has entirely left for the time being.

I do think as women get older and we find out what is truly normal (as in, most of us don't climax in 2 minutes and need clitoral stimulation and toys are good) and when we are comfortable enough with ourselves and our partners to open up about it and talk about it, it makes a huge difference in our sex lives. I can live without the initial excitement and intense passion when I have the strong emotional connection and communication instead. It makes sex so much better and more satisfying - which in turns, makes me want to do it more.
06/29/2010
Lilith Land Lilith Land
I have found that my sex drive goes up and down. I was pretty horny as a teenager and that dropped in my 20s. I did indeed experience a upsurge of desire in my early 30s and this continued into my early 40s.

I think I hit a peak for few months in my early 40s. I have NEVER felt that horny in my life! And for no real reason. Lol. Unfortunately, that was followed by a rather noticeable drop. I am now 45, and I can say it is very up and down.

So, I would say my peak years were probably my 30s. At least terms of consistent horniness. Supposedly, women experience a drop off in estrogen around the thirties that unmasks the effects of testosterone.
07/13/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
My sex drive has really taken off in my late 30's and I find myself needing much more then in my earlier years. I'm 38. Not sure what it will be like in the future but right now I'm on a serious sexually needing high.

Teen years was about pleasing him. Twenties was about children. Thirties I'm relaxed and ready all the time.
10/17/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTabby
My sex drive has really taken off in my late 30's and I find myself needing much more then in my earlier years. I'm 38. Not sure what it will be like in the future but right now I'm on a serious sexually needing high.

Teen ... More
Exactly the time-table for my wife - good news for you, the 40's are even better
10/18/2010
SydVicious SydVicious
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
My sex drive has always been high, with the exception of a few years in my mid twenties. This coincided with the birth of my child and all the hormonal issues/lack of time/sleep deprivation that tends to come with the package.
I am just coming out of the post baby funk. I had morning sickness everyday for 7 months when I was prego, so I didn't wanna do it. Then my daughter was born and I was to worried about taking care of her. I would say it wasn't until she was about 1 1/2 that I actually started getting my sex drive back. I finally feel like my old self again.
10/18/2010
Shellz31 Shellz31
I have found my sex drive has gone wild since I hit 30 - Im almost 32.
10/18/2010
Lady Venus Lady Venus
I've always been a very sexual person with a high drive, but since I've gotten close to 30 (I'll be 30 in 2 months) it is out of control! Seriously, I can't get enough! I believe I'm hitting my prime!
10/18/2010
Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
I'm only in my late 20's. Thus far I was at my highest point in my early 20's

It'd probably be higher now if it weren't for being so exhausted because of kids.
10/18/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
I have found my sex drive has gone wild since I hit 30 - Im almost 32.
Same here (I'm 33) - I thought mine was due to finally getting out of a dead-fish celibate marriage and getting some at last ... the beast has awoken. She demands sacrifices.

Now it looks like whomever I'm with in about five years will need to have a strong heart to survive.
10/18/2010
Alicia Alicia
I don't think I'm old enough to tell as I'm only 29..but my sex drive has gotten higher as I've gotten older. Well, hrm I guess that's not really true...I guess I've always had a high sex drive. I guess what it is is that I've become more orgasmic and can have stronger orgasms and have started to get more g-spot orgasms/pleasure as I have gotten older. Especially in this last year I'd say.
10/18/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Exactly the time-table for my wife - good news for you, the 40's are even better
That's definitely something good to look forward too
10/18/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
I am curious about this as well, I am still in my mid to late twenties and my sex drive has absolutely decreased. I have two small children, only one of which is in school and I am sure that this has much to do with my decline. When I was in my early twenties I was good to go between 3 and 7 times a day, possibly more. Since having children I can go up to a month with no desire for any type of sexual stimulation whatsoever.
10/23/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
I am curious about this as well, I am still in my mid to late twenties and my sex drive has absolutely decreased. I have two small children, only one of which is in school and I am sure that this has much to do with my decline. When I was in my early ... More
If you had the capacity to have sex 7x a day - it seems to me that getting back at least some of that ardor would be important to both you and your husband. Kids are a challenge but not a barrier. Lock your door, light the candles, put on some music or the TV and make a plan to drive your husband crazy - I'm assuming he'll reciprocate.

Thinking about and planning for the sexual activity is the act of using your biggest sex-organ - your brain! Take small steps and don't give into the indifference - once you start to feel the beneficial effects of intimacy and orgasm - you'll naturally want more. There's a whole chemistry at work - but you don't need to know the names of a bunch of hormones to benefit from them.

Good luck
10/23/2010
Mr. E Mr. E
Ours is better than ever at 40+.
10/23/2010
Trashley Trashley
I'm so interested in this thread. I've always wondered that and I hope my sex drive never goes down, only up.. :] Thanks for giving a girl faith, guys!
10/24/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
If you had the capacity to have sex 7x a day - it seems to me that getting back at least some of that ardor would be important to both you and your husband. Kids are a challenge but not a barrier. Lock your door, light the candles, put on some music ... More
Thanks for your advice. Just a note, my sex drive has definitely come back to some extent, I can have regular sex again and climax properly. I expect once my children are a bit more grown up and out of the house more often it will likely be back with a vengeance. In the mean time I am not so concerned. I separated from my husband due to a large number of issues having nothing to do with sex. Now the only person I need to keep happy is myself
10/27/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
Thanks for your advice. Just a note, my sex drive has definitely come back to some extent, I can have regular sex again and climax properly. I expect once my children are a bit more grown up and out of the house more often it will likely be back with ... More
Sorry to hear about your troubles - but don't wait til the kids move out! There's lots of fun to be had while they are still around!

good luck
10/27/2010
sweet sally sweet sally
Well according to my bf (who's 48) "women go crazy in their 30's"
10/27/2010
Liz2 Liz2
Things that I have read say late 20's is peak for women, but others have written early 30's, so who knows? I am 27 and not ready to begin the decline. I think so much pleasure depends on the person's attitude and willingness to grow sexually.
Sometimes it can be a challenging journey...
10/27/2010
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