How long constitutes a sex drought?

El-Jaro El-Jaro
What defines a "sex drought" to you? How long does it have to be before you consider yourself in a drought?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Couple days
P'Gell , Sammi , Alan & Michele , Liz2 , PonyPlay , Madeira , Airen Wolf , Sex & Coffee , CanMan , sweet seduction , Ansley , Beck , Alyxx , Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama , Kallisto
15  (8%)
A week
joja , Hannah Savage , Nefarius , kamariabutterfly , ~LaUr3n~ , *Ashley* , ToyTimeTim , Avant-garde , ToyingCouple , Mr. E , Selective Sensualist , withballs , Shellz31 , kinky girlfriend , newbern2004 , eve2603 , gothikstars , Porfiriato , PussyGalore , cdawn , LittleBoPeep , Mr. & Mrs. Peg , deae04 , rdytogo , staceejaxxx , That Guy , ninaspinkturtle , Danielle915 , lovemuscle n cookie , Sex'и'Violence , newfoundlust , meganthomas , thebest , meitman , ElleBee , js250 , CSEA , Mike Honcho , married with children , Mrs.Hellzapoppin
40  (21%)
Week and change
Gunsmoke , Fun Lover , ♥ Amanda ♥ , Rockin' , MeghanLeigh003 , Dame Saphir , Sidewinder , BoomersGirl , MuffysPinguLove , the bedroom blogger , Pleasure Piratess , Persephone's Addiction , leatherlover , tigerkate , iCouple , Lummox , pinkzombie , Latsyrc728 , Kdlips , EnMH , anonymouse58 , sarki , mpfm , Darklyvan
24  (12%)
+2 weeks
Alicia , shepegs , Tori Rebel , Carrie Ann , NuMe , Victoria , eyeneerg1984 , Lady Venus , Maiden , Sensual husband , Alura Une , sophie2229 , NightNight , NymphetamineKiss , Owl Identified , RosesThorns , Taylor , Raggedy Andie , Lif3sambiguity , The Girl With No Name , Phoenix713 , LavenderSkies , *HisMrs* , Miss Nessa , MaryExy , boobookittyfuk , crhend , Buffgator , magicmac , toxie m , arewehavingfun? , oldman , Jaimes , sexykiss , Martiniman , Stagger13
36  (19%)
Month
Annemarie , Sera , Femme Mystique , Jenniae09 , Kindred , Libra , Rossie , tickle me pink , mudpie
9  (5%)
Month and change
Snozzberries , Onanist , Ms. Spice , junipersgame
4  (2%)
Months
El-Jaro , Naughty Student , Ciao. , softcoeur , Jul!a , Sir , Miss Cinnamon , bzzingbee , ToyQuest , fatesrelease , PassionQT , SweetestAngelGoneBad , SexyySarah , Darling Jen , Jenna.J.Ross , Love Buzz , DeliciousSurprise , Hot'n'Bothered , Adriana Ravenlust , mllebeauty , null , wondertoes , CynicallyYours , Bunnycups , Bassy18 , Batty Harlot , darthkitt3n , plnzg , lamira , Stujen , Redboxbaby , Ropeguy , Lunacy Setting in , moonch1ld , Alys , Dark Muse , Purpleladybug , zracer , Lucky21 , EdenG , ScarlettSeraph , MrWishyWashy , TexasBrat , Bittenflame , Amber Sweet , Wicked Wahine
46  (24%)
6+ months
deltalima , Viktor Vysheslav Malkin , Erotica , hysteriaremedy , ily
5  (3%)
A year
Hollylicious , VieuxCarre , Elnoa , JRabbits , Livia Drew , Pete's Princess
6  (3%)
2 years
Midway through
1  (1%)
Elected official term
Other time frame or Neptunian orbital period
Chilipepper , Hazel , ToyGeek , Kimbertrees , NawlinsDawlin , Vaccinium , potstickers , MeliPixie
8  (4%)
Total votes: 194
Poll is closed
06/21/2010
  • Weekly Special; Buy 1 Vibe, get 1 FREE
  • Save 15% on Luxury Brands
  • Annual Clearance - Save 30%
  • Buy Cascade vibe and save 50% on lubricants!
  • Save 20% on self-lubricating Cascade vibe and sleeve kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
P'Gell P'Gell
More than 2 or 3 days, and I'm climbing a wall....
06/21/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
The last one sums up my own sex life between active partners. (I'm only 32, but it feels like a couple of centuries.)

The worst was the first month after Mulder and I stopped. Now I'm back into being quietly celibate. (Still reeks.)
06/21/2010
Alicia Alicia
Since I'm married and it's not a lack of partner that would constitute a drought for me I consider us in a drought if it's been two weeks. We don't often go that long without sex so if we have we're both ready to climb the walls if we don't get some and soon!
06/21/2010
Ciao. Ciao.
Anything more than a month or so is definitely in drought territory for me. A few days or a week happens, and it's not that big of a deal. I used to have a higher sex drive, but I find that I don't quite need sex as frequently now for whatever reason.
06/21/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
I think that after a couple of months it is a drought. I am in a relationship and it did happen once a few years back when I was feeling really down, almost depressed and I had totally lost the desire for any sexual activity. It was a really hard period for me and my partner.

My partner and I although we live together, we work on different scheduels and have very different time periods in which we are aroused. It isnt always easy to be in tune but we have some form of sexual activity (oral or penetration) atleast once or twice a week and before my period we do it everyday.
06/21/2010
joja joja
I get antsy after a couple of days, but I wouldn't call it a drought until it's been a week or so.
06/21/2010
Sammi Sammi
For me, a couple of days seems like a drought.
06/21/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
"Drought" sounds pretty extreme to me, so I'd say it would need to be a few months to reach that level of desperation. Two or three weeks without is more like "Awfully Dry" than "Drought".
06/21/2010
Nefarius Nefarius
About a week, and I start to get irritable. Which can be a challenge because my husband's libido doesn't match mine well.
06/22/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Being in a live in relationship, a couple weeks seems VERY long. If I were single, though, I'd feel differently. Something about the availability factor makes me feel I should get it more often.
06/23/2010
♥ Amanda ♥ ♥ Amanda ♥
Things happen. People get sick, down, or just don't feel like it. This is completely normal. But I would have to say if after a week in the "norm" nothing is happening... this constitutes a drought for sure.
06/23/2010
Victoria Victoria
I agree that when you live with someone, two weeks does feel like a long time.
06/23/2010
Maxxxpassion Maxxxpassion
3 months is the realization I think
06/24/2010
Gary Gary
There was no option for hours!
06/24/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
A week but only if it is possible. Of course it is not always possible so that wouldn't count.
06/28/2010
Dame Saphir Dame Saphir
Used to be days, but with the summertime and my boyfriend and I not living together, I only see him about once a week. I've adapted to that, but any longer than a week, and I'm dying of thirst
06/28/2010
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
There was no option for hours!
I vote for keeping it under 24 hours
06/28/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I vote for keeping it under 24 hours
Same here lol.
06/28/2010
*Ashley* *Ashley*
Living with my partner, after a week I get a little pissy or irritable with out. I’d prefer sex, oral, both.. close to everyday.. At least multiple times a week. but he can seem to go a month. I am so happy man made toys!!!! But even then I need the real thing.
06/29/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by *Ashley*
Living with my partner, after a week I get a little pissy or irritable with out. I’d prefer sex, oral, both.. close to everyday.. At least multiple times a week. but he can seem to go a month. I am so happy man made toys!!!! But even then I need the ... More
I'm with ya on that, except my partner and I have the same sex drive. HIGH
06/29/2010
BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
It's been going on 2 weeks for us for the first time without it being "that time of the month" and to be honest, it's me. I have no sex drive right now. I know it's psychological because he lets his family be rude to me and yell at me and accuse me of things and won't speak up and defend me - but he starts fights with me defending his family who have never done anything for him. So I think he finally succeeded in damaging our relationship enough that it "broke" my sex drive. Is that possible do you think?
06/29/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by BoomersGirl
It's been going on 2 weeks for us for the first time without it being "that time of the month" and to be honest, it's me. I have no sex drive right now. I know it's psychological because he lets his family be rude to me and yell ... More
ABSOLUTELY possible. Not the same situation, but similar unfair situations have caused me to lose my sex drive, and fall out of love in the past. It absolutely can ruin your chemistry sexually and otherwise.
06/29/2010
BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
ABSOLUTELY possible. Not the same situation, but similar unfair situations have caused me to lose my sex drive, and fall out of love in the past. It absolutely can ruin your chemistry sexually and otherwise.
Thanks for replying! I'm so frustrated! He won't see what he's doing and he keeps making it worse! I feel a million miles away from him. He chooses his family over me time and time again - every time. And I'm his wife and the mother of his little boys. I just have nothing there for him right now and don't know how to get it back when he keeps doing this to me.
06/29/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by BoomersGirl
Thanks for replying! I'm so frustrated! He won't see what he's doing and he keeps making it worse! I feel a million miles away from him. He chooses his family over me time and time again - every time. And I'm his wife and the mother ... More
That makes me sad for you

I hope things get better!

If it helps:
"This too shall pass"
-and-
"Above all else, to thine own self be true"
06/29/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by BoomersGirl
It's been going on 2 weeks for us for the first time without it being "that time of the month" and to be honest, it's me. I have no sex drive right now. I know it's psychological because he lets his family be rude to me and yell ... More
Oh, BG, I'm so sorry. It's so difficult when you have difficult in-laws, and even worse when your man won't defend you to them. IMO, when you are involved in an intimate relationship your partner comes first and the "family" (meaning of course, his or hers parents and siblings) have to simply wait. It can be SO frustrating. Anger at your man certainly can wreak havoc with your sex drive, that's for sure.

My Man and I went through something like this soon after we got married. We were planning a wedding when I found out I was pregnant, it was no big deal, we just moved up the wedding date a little (I needed health insurance, as I had quit my job when I moved in with him in our new house not long previously) His mother called me on the phone and accused me of get this "Trapping him." We had already been together for 7 years, we'd survived an Open Relationship and many set backs and the accusation, especially when I found out I was pregnant in the middle of wedding plans, after we had bought a house together and we finally moved in full time together, was ludicrous. His father wanted us to have a "secret" wedding (in The Church, of course, which I refused to do) the day he told them, and they held this stuff against me for a long time. His mother thawed out first (although she looks like she is going to the Gas Chamber in every picture at our wedding, when everyone else was laughing and smiling and having a great time, she pouted!) His father however, never saw my POV on anything, called me "a Pinko Communist" in front of other people, and in private (Heaven forbid I care about the poor and the downtrodden, have GLBT friends and not "hold my tongue" when something I felt was racist or sexist was said.) His father voted for GWB twice, what can I say?)

There were times when My Man did defend me and times when his father just wore him down. The Old Man died, after a long illness, and his last weeks were spent, not loving his child and grandchildren, not making for years of ignoring his wife (who had stopped sleeping in this horrible man's bed more than two decades before) not trying to get the best out of the last days. No, he spent his last weeks on Earth telling every person who came to visit his miserable self at the VA hospital JUST EXACTLY what was wrong with them, and how he always knew what fuck ups we all were and how much better our lives would have been if we had done things HIS way. It tore My Man apart, because he was losing his father and still didn't really want to go see him. I said very little about the man in those last days, but damn sure wanted to, especially when he would tear my MIL a new one in front of people. Some people are just too miserable to spend much time with, and it is hard to get your partner to realize that just because this man donated sperm for his conception he deserved time and visits when all he did was diss people and make others miserable as himself.

Wow, I just really VENTED there, but I know how you feel. I felt, when these things happened (and we were together for almost 20 years before the old bastard (his father) died) I needed to, with as little emotion as possible (that is NOT easy for me) let him know how hurt I was, and that I was HIS family now, (and eventually our children as well) we were sticking by him and if his father CHOSE to be a miserable man, that was his problem, not mine, not My Man's not anyone else's.

It sometimes worked, it really helped when his parents decided to take flight to Florida every winter, every year earlier and earlier (until they couldn't even wait until after My Man's birtday in the fall) and they were GONE for a good 6 months out of the year. It also took about 4 years after the Old Bastard died before My Man could reconcile that his father was not a perfect man, and that My Man never did and now never WOULD get recognition for what a good man he was, his father simply didn't beleive in telling anyone "Good job." or "I'm proud of you." all he could do was criticize and that was so difficult for My Man, to never get his father to recognise him as a competent and succesful as well. I think some of the problem was My Man was WAITING for his father to say SOMETHING anything kind or encouraging to him and it never did happen. After the Old Man died, it certainly never would again, he'd had his chance, and despite my fears, I kindly pointed out that it was "Game Over" and the only people who were going to really be behind My Man were his Woman and children and our good friends.

But, there were times he defended me, telling his mom "I was there when she got pregnant, Mom, it takes two. I'm just as responsible as she is, if not more." And once almost getting into a real fight with his father, when the Old Bastard was being especially vicious to me, and I left their house in tears, alone.

It did get better, (his dad dead for a while and his mother either minding her own business or spending most of her time in FLA, and him, after years, knowing I am the one who will stand by him through just about anything, not only under certain conditions, like his fickle father) but talking HAS to happen, or he's going to think you are OK with it. He really does need to defend you, but you can't "make him" do it, you can talk about it, and let him know simply how upset and the fact that you are hurt.

Sorry if I wrote a volume here, but I know what you are going through, and you two can survive it, but only if he comes to the realization that YOU are the most important person in his life and that his parent's rude behavior needs to either be completely ignored (with little contact until they stop) or by him confronting them ALONE, without you there.

Good luck.
07/01/2010
BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Oh, BG, I'm so sorry. It's so difficult when you have difficult in-laws, and even worse when your man won't defend you to them. IMO, when you are involved in an intimate relationship your partner comes first and the "family" ... More
Thank you for your response! It's good I'm not the only one out there. I grew up with a father who was the same way as my hubby, sitting back and letting his family criticize my mother, brother and me and not defending us, sometimes even going right along with them. Seems like some men (and probably women, too) will go out of their way for those they can never please just craving that attention and affection when they are too blind to see they have it at home and that SHOULD be enough, because in reality they are throwing away what they have available right in their own home for people who have never and will never care.

Our drought it still on - LOL.

Moral of the story: If you don't want a sexual drought, make sure you're taking care of your SO emotionally and physically. Because while loss of sex drive can be physical, it's often more psychological.
07/02/2010
eyeneerg1984 eyeneerg1984
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
Since I'm married and it's not a lack of partner that would constitute a drought for me I consider us in a drought if it's been two weeks. We don't often go that long without sex so if we have we're both ready to climb the walls ... More
I'm with you on that one. However, at the moment we are in the process of moving and have two kids under two. Needless to say, it's been a little dry the past few weeks.
07/03/2010
Liz2 Liz2
This is a tough question to answer for me. I don't live with my b/f but if he is around, a few days is a drought.
Sexual satisfaction is always possible using my toys and vivid imagination. My b/f travels with his masturbation sleeves so he too gets some satisfaction. Phone sex is also part of the picture.
On the other hand, if I am in bad mood, sex with or w/o a partner has no appeal to me....doesn't happen too often though.
07/03/2010
Hazel Hazel
It's all relative to how much I want sex, which fluctuates. If I go for a year or so with no partner sex, but don't really want it and don't even play solo much... well it hardly feels like I'm in a drought. If, on the other hand, I just spent a hot night with a new flame and then she leaves town (*cough cough*), then even just a couple days without sex and I feel like I may explode.
07/03/2010
Total posts: 106
Unique posters: 88