Reviving the old libido in a woman

shepegs shepegs
My girl is going thru a bit of a down cycle. Mostly due to stress and what not. So just thought I'd ask what you ladies do to get the old sex drive back? Any suggestions? Please be descriptive.
07/13/2010
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Brian Brian
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegs
My girl is going thru a bit of a down cycle. Mostly due to stress and what not. So just thought I'd ask what you ladies do to get the old sex drive back? Any suggestions? Please be descriptive.
My wife has a pretty low sex drive. We're looking at different birth control options as from what I've read, it can really effect your drive. I've been wondering lately if the reason some woman get more of a sex drive as they get older has more to do with them no longer being on birth control than an age thing. Who knows.
07/13/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
If she's anything like me and it is mostly due to stress, it might help if she could just unwind and relax and get centered. Maybe a massage or bubble bath or just a little more 'her' time would help her to de-stress and be more in the mood. For me a step back from all the stressful things, a little change in perspective, and some down time usually brings me back to my norm.
07/13/2010
shepegs shepegs
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
If she's anything like me and it is mostly due to stress, it might help if she could just unwind and relax and get centered. Maybe a massage or bubble bath or just a little more 'her' time would help her to de-stress and be more in the ... More
Hi Tori,
I agree with all that you said and it is 100% effective. However, you can't take a vacation or get away from all the stress all the time. How can one overcome stress and relax without the bubble bath?
07/13/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegs
Hi Tori,
I agree with all that you said and it is 100% effective. However, you can't take a vacation or get away from all the stress all the time. How can one overcome stress and relax without the bubble bath?
I'm the same way that if I am too stressed it's not going to happen.

It doesn't always have to be a bubble bath. But, maybe make her some tea and rub her feet while she drinks it, watch a funny movie that allows her to escape from reality for a while (I personally watch I love Lucy until I am laughing my ass off) give her a shoulder rub, just anything to allow her to release the stress. My husband does that for me..the shoulder rubs, if I am having a stressful day at work (we work from home) he'll come down and give me a quick 5 minute shoulder rub, it helps me to remember that he's there for me even when I'm stressed to the limit.


Also there are these herbal things called Boiron Sidalia that are supposed to be good at relieving stress. They're just herbs so it's nothing super strong or anything, but they do work for those everyday stresses for me and make me a little more relaxed. I still have stress of course but I don't fly off the handle as easily when something goes wrong and it allows me to let go of the day a bit easier. Rescue Remedy spray is another herbal one that works for me. These won't really "get her in the mood" or anything, but they might help her feel more like herself.
07/13/2010
shepegs shepegs
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I'm the same way that if I am too stressed it's not going to happen.

It doesn't always have to be a bubble bath. But, maybe make her some tea and rub her feet while she drinks it, watch a funny movie that allows her to escape from ... More
Nice ideas. Relaxation tea and comedy always work. However, if the libido is not there, it's just not there sometimes.

When it does kick in....it's FIRE!
07/13/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I'm the same way that if I am too stressed it's not going to happen.

It doesn't always have to be a bubble bath. But, maybe make her some tea and rub her feet while she drinks it, watch a funny movie that allows her to escape from ... More
I'll second the rescue remedy! That stuff really is fantastic.
07/13/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegs
Nice ideas. Relaxation tea and comedy always work. However, if the libido is not there, it's just not there sometimes.

When it does kick in....it's FIRE!
LOL she sounds kind of like me. Although I am never not in the mood, I'm just sometimes not in the mood to initiate. Which, my husband sometimes mistakes for me not being in the mood. Just about anytime, unless I am sick, I will openly welcome sex. But sometimes I just want to be the one that's persued.

Other times I will actively initiate. I guess it's kind of confusing for him because he sees my active side and so he thinks that's the only time I am in the mood, when in reality that's not the case.


What about a back rub? A naked back rub, for me that's a great way to go from "eh ok" to "take me now!"
07/13/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I'll second the rescue remedy! That stuff really is fantastic.
I actually spritz it in my mouth before bed to help me relax and fall asleep better, I love that stuff.
07/13/2010
shepegs shepegs
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
LOL she sounds kind of like me. Although I am never not in the mood, I'm just sometimes not in the mood to initiate. Which, my husband sometimes mistakes for me not being in the mood. Just about anytime, unless I am sick, I will openly welcome ... More
I do plenty of foot massages, but maybe a back rub is the new way to get her there. LOL I will try it. Maybe some wine in the process?
07/13/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegs
I do plenty of foot massages, but maybe a back rub is the new way to get her there. LOL I will try it. Maybe some wine in the process?
Well, if she's anything like me that will definitely do the trick lol. Wine and me arelikethis!

When my husband does back rubs that get me in the mood he makes sure to really work the sides of my back and of course linger across the sides of my breast in the process, without like grabbing them or anything. And then when doing my lower back he will do the sides again and graze across the front of my lower stomach like where the band of a bikini would normally sit. And then of course graze the top of my butt as well. It's all a huge tease and it's really nice. He's tried it where he's been a bit more obvious and actually grabbed parts and it doesn't work as well that way lol
07/13/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
I'm having my birth control taken out. That should give me some of my sex drive back!

Time away from kids usually helps too, if you have any.
07/13/2010
Envy Envy
Stress and depression really kick mine when it's down, that's for sure. When i was on birth control I had no drive. I'm off it now, but it comes and goes as it pleases, sometimes it's a struggle to even get in the mood since I have so very few days a week I can actually have alone private time to toy.
07/13/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegs
My girl is going thru a bit of a down cycle. Mostly due to stress and what not. So just thought I'd ask what you ladies do to get the old sex drive back? Any suggestions? Please be descriptive.
Many women find that the more they HAVE SEX the more sex they want! Years ago, when our kids were smaller, I would nearly lose my drive (can't believe it now) if we went too long without sex (like for us, a week is "too long")

I know, when my drive was low, even thinking about sex made me feel icky, but once we started I was not only OK, I wanted it more. This may not be true for all women, but it is for most of us.

Sometimes you have to just bit the bullet and go with the flow, more than once, to get that sex drive going. I am not suggesting having sex when you absolutely don't want to, but figuring out WHY you don't want to, and even some physical attention (even it if doesn't lead to sex that time) can get her back on the road.

ALSO, I HATE being ignored. Nothing reduces my drive more than his work or his "hobbies" or his watching sports for what seems like days at a time, and ONLY wanting to give me attention when he wants to fuck.

I need round the clock love and attention and I think in some long term relationships, one partner will ONLY touch, cuddle, hold and kiss the other one when that partner wants sex, and often we need that kind of attention ALL the time, even when it isn't going to lead to sex right away.
07/13/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I know it sounds silly but, for me, sometimes I'll dab on a little clitoral stimulating gel (shunga secret garden rocks) and just that little boost is enough to get me turned on when I wasn't before.

Hard not to feel in the mood when your clit is twitching.
07/13/2010
Envy Envy
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I know it sounds silly but, for me, sometimes I'll dab on a little clitoral stimulating gel (shunga secret garden rocks) and just that little boost is enough to get me turned on when I wasn't before.

Hard not to feel in the mood when ... More
Is that stuff really worth investing in? I was eying it before, but I debate it... Is it like a cooling kinda gel?
07/13/2010
Blinker Blinker
Mine gets low all the time because of PCOS and birth control. The thing that gets me in the mood is actually having sex. My guy knows how to do it. He listens to me complain but still we end up on the bed and we start to get into it, then I GET INTO IT for realz. It works even though it's an old saying found in Cosmo back issues.

Also 5 Hour XTreme Energy Shots get me revved. And alcohol! Tequila does wonders
07/14/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Is that stuff really worth investing in? I was eying it before, but I debate it... Is it like a cooling kinda gel?
Kind of, only it does more than a cooling gel does. The additional ingredients are actually quite stimulating for a pretty long time.
07/14/2010
shepegs shepegs
Does forcing yourself to masturbate help any?
07/14/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegs
Hi Tori,
I agree with all that you said and it is 100% effective. However, you can't take a vacation or get away from all the stress all the time. How can one overcome stress and relax without the bubble bath?
Lots of fresh air and exercise helps me to regain my libido when it flags. A simple brisk walk can do wonders for stress levels but barring that open the windows and allow the house to air out, even if it is humid as Hades it can help just to refresh the air in your house.
07/14/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Lots of fresh air and exercise helps me to regain my libido when it flags. A simple brisk walk can do wonders for stress levels but barring that open the windows and allow the house to air out, even if it is humid as Hades it can help just to refresh ... More
Airen, I always thought Hell was a Dry Heat. *shrug*
07/14/2010
enchong enchong
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegs
My girl is going thru a bit of a down cycle. Mostly due to stress and what not. So just thought I'd ask what you ladies do to get the old sex drive back? Any suggestions? Please be descriptive.
This post of mine is just based on my personal experienced. My linklibido before get very low but have recovered now because of the pills that I'd take. Its wyld natural,a natural libido booster for both men and women.... Its really effective for my active libido gets back in my life...Its really nice to have an active libido with you always.
09/08/2010
iceman681 iceman681
i buy my wife roll-o's. does the trick everytime
09/14/2010
newlady newlady
Quote:
Originally posted by Brian
My wife has a pretty low sex drive. We're looking at different birth control options as from what I've read, it can really effect your drive. I've been wondering lately if the reason some woman get more of a sex drive as they get older ... More
I actually contribute being off birth control to my increased sex drive.
I was on B.C. on & off for over 25 years. Most recently depo provera for 8 years. I went off it last year, and after about 6 months, things are definitely not what they used to be! (not complaining!)
*shrugs* maybe I'm just a late bloomer. LOL
01/30/2011
Total posts: 24
Unique posters: 13