Being Manic Got Me Screwed...A Lot

Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Super article on bipolar disorder and how it can destructively cause folks to seek out sex and more sex and even more casual and dangerous sex.

It really hits home for me cuz my fiance is bipolar and I know what he's been thru with it. Any of you have experience with bipolar disorder? Been thru any of this crazy stuff?
01/08/2010
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El-Jaro El-Jaro
Great article!
01/08/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Yep. Manic depressive, know about the whole manic sex thing. I've found a balance now with my medication between total non-medicated insanity and uber-drugged zombie-ism. I still have minor manic episodes but I enjoy them and just stay up all night working as opposed to going on four week freak-outs that leave me with a crazy mess to clean up once it was over.

I'm surprised this little-known symptom got a whole article on SexIs. Awesome!
01/08/2010
Sir Sir
I do not have it, but I have experienced years with a person who I believe does (it hasn't been diagnosed yet, even though she is in therapy for that very reason). It's not only hard for the manic depressive to deal with though, it's hard for everyone around the manic depressive to deal with, any loved one, friend, etc. It's upsetting to me to read that article actually, because I am sure that it's a difficult thing to deal with as the person is constantly having these conflicting feelings going on.

But what can you do to help this disorder if the person does not realize that they are having such an episode? What can you do when you try to snap them out of it and they just keep going or start hassling you about it? Or is there a way at all?
01/08/2010
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Interesting. I just read Carrie Fisher's autobiography and she talked about that a bit, too.
01/08/2010
Victoria Victoria
I think it takes a really understanding and patient partner, for sure. I have seen my sister and her husband manage with her bipolar disorder over the last 6 years BUT he knows her so well and has such empathy that it has gotten so much better. Being on the outside, I can say I see huge and positive changes over these years - and am very proud of her!
01/08/2010
Miss Jane Miss Jane
One of my close friends is manic depressive, along with a slough of other such things. We went on a date in high school; he was so excited about the date that he came to get me while I was flooded in at my house. We went to a movie and held hands; I put my head on his shoulder. When he talked to me later to let me know he'd gotten home all right, he was, as best as I can describe it, in his 'other' mood. He told me we couldn't date because I was too clingy.. the conversation seemed to draw on forever.

It's hard. It's hard for him - I've been with him through the highs and the lows, and I'm glad that I can help somewhat or at least be there - and it's hard to be the person watching your friend struggle, so happy one moment and so down the next. I know he had sex issues, too, but not so much manic sex as manic masturbation.
01/09/2010
Miss Jane Miss Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I do not have it, but I have experienced years with a person who I believe does (it hasn't been diagnosed yet, even though she is in therapy for that very reason). It's not only hard for the manic depressive to deal with though, it's ... More
I haven't had to deal with the manic sex episodes, but I've seen the manic 'way out there thinking' episodes. Usually, we just 'went with it' as long as it wasn't doing anyone any harm or putting anyone in danger - and if it was something more risky or out there (or a down swing) try to calm the person down, cheer them up, get them thinking about something else. But it's a different deal with sex. I think that would something extremely hard to convince a person not to do, especially if you were attracted to them.
01/09/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
I've seen this my whole life. Both my sisters, me, and my grandmother are bipolar (all differing types though). My older sister has dealt with manic sex for years, and her poor husband has had to deal with her less than discreet relationships.

I agree with Victoria here, it takes a very patient partner, and unfortunately he is not one, so she is not getting what she needs. On the flip side, J is very concerned, and very involved in my condition and he makes sure to know what is going on at all times. J takes the time to ensure that any crazy behavior is not a manic swing and that I am not behaving based on my disease...it is a really difficult balance to find.
01/09/2010
Zoeyjane Zoeyjane
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Yep. Manic depressive, know about the whole manic sex thing. I've found a balance now with my medication between total non-medicated insanity and uber-drugged zombie-ism. I still have minor manic episodes but I enjoy them and just stay up all ... More
I'm in a similar place, now - finding a balance between medications and remaining active (and in tune), so that I channel the highs I still have positively.

Just wait, S,L&P-L, there's more articles to come...
01/10/2010
Zoeyjane Zoeyjane
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I do not have it, but I have experienced years with a person who I believe does (it hasn't been diagnosed yet, even though she is in therapy for that very reason). It's not only hard for the manic depressive to deal with though, it's ... More
Sir, I don't know, like with an addiction, say, if there's truly any way to get an unaware bipolar to realize they are experiencing symptoms. There's the potential for an intervention and sincere (supportive) conversations explaining your concerns, but the story I seem to hear most is that someone's been diagnosed as a result of something truly negative occurring, or because there was a genetic link they were already aware of - like in my case.

I think the that best thing you can do is remain open-minded and as understanding as possible, and try to explain to your friend, partner, or whoever that you see a problem with their moods because of _____ (using logic and concrete, comparable examples). Sometimes, seeing *someone else* who has behaved in the same manner - spending thousands of dollars on a shopping spree, for example, can help give people a rule to measure their own habits against.
01/10/2010
Juliettia Juliettia
My mother is bipolar and was definitely one to sleep around. I have a strong suspicion that my brother is also bipolar. It is definitely not something pleasant to deal with.
01/10/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Zoeyjane
Sir, I don't know, like with an addiction, say, if there's truly any way to get an unaware bipolar to realize they are experiencing symptoms. There's the potential for an intervention and sincere (supportive) conversations explaining ... More
Well, I've tried talking, being calm, being positive, and compromising, but nothing went through. She always made me out to be the bad guy when I only wanted the best for her. She not only was compulsive with seeing people behind my back, she was compulsive with lying, with spending money, and with doing things that hurt her well-being. I tried to teach her how to do things better and comfort her, but she always has pushed me away. There's nothing to do if all of that's been done, is there?
01/10/2010
Juliettia Juliettia
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Well, I've tried talking, being calm, being positive, and compromising, but nothing went through. She always made me out to be the bad guy when I only wanted the best for her. She not only was compulsive with seeing people behind my back, she ... More
She has to want to get better. Have you tried behavioral therapy in combination with medication?
01/10/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Juliettia
She has to want to get better. Have you tried behavioral therapy in combination with medication?
Yes, I know that she does. And I do not feel that she does, so there really is not anything that I can do. She is currently seeing a therapist, but some of the things that the therapist has suggested have aggravated me. They've spoken about medication I believe, but she is not medicated, no. Behavioral therapy is not something that I've looked into.
01/11/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I've a good friend who's bi-polar (can't remember the other name for it) and an ex who was too. They've both went through a lot of bad things because of it. The guy friend of mine said that people who are bi-polar either get over it with help and medication OR kill themselves.

I would suggest avoiding starting a relationship with a person who is bi-polar if you can't deal with heart break and all the stuff that goes along with it.
01/11/2010
Zoeyjane Zoeyjane
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I've a good friend who's bi-polar (can't remember the other name for it) and an ex who was too. They've both went through a lot of bad things because of it. The guy friend of mine said that people who are bi-polar either get over it ... More
While being in a relationship with a bipolar sufferer can be stressful and taxing, and not all are up for it, Mr.Sauce, your friend was generalizing.

There are varying degrees to the illness - some, like me, don't have severe symptoms at all, and others can have extremely irrational, deluded, and even psychotic periods. Neither therapy, nor medication can cure someone of all symptoms, so they don't 'get over it'; lacking therapy or medication, many bipolar sufferers learn to manage their symptoms themselves, without suicide.
01/13/2010
xchairitycasex xchairitycasex
i am Bi-polar,and have been since i was 9 but iwasnt diagnosed untill just very recently. and none of my family knows i am also not on meds simply becuase i cannot afford them.
although i didnt go from person to person having sex with them i was kind of the opposite when i was in my manic state people thought i was on speed or something i will run in circles yelling,run up to strangers and scream randomly in their faces fore running away giggling,and mostly i like to self mutilate when i am manic it creeps my boyfriend out when i start singing to myself in the bathroom in french or japaneese while cutting myself thenpunching the cuts to make them bleed more.
My boyfriend is a very nervous person becuase of me, of which i cannot blame him
he refuses to take me around his freinds or out in public (we dont go out to the bar or to play pool or go dancing) he is just to embarrsesed of me.
he wont talk to me over the phone anymore either. i canot blame him though it my own fault. if i feel anything at all (sadness or mania) i have to tell him so he will not come out to pick me up for a week or two. it makes me feel really bad like he doesnt love me but hey its my own fault.
03/04/2010
TumorCrunch TumorCrunch
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Super article on bipolar disorder and how it can destructively cause folks to seek out sex and more sex and even more casual and dangerous sex.

It really hits home for me cuz my fiance is bipolar and I know what he's been thru with it. ... More
whoa....it all makes sense now. my whole life. damn.
03/15/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
As a psychology major, I am fascinated with the article. thanks for sharing
03/18/2011
tiname25 tiname25
thanks
05/08/2011
hotcoktail hotcoktail
aahhaa
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05/08/2011
yatinp30 yatinp30
thanks
05/08/2011
anonomous anonomous
I hope nothing gets worse for anyone who has it or knows of other who do
07/06/2011
XzombehxbearzX XzombehxbearzX
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Super article on bipolar disorder and how it can destructively cause folks to seek out sex and more sex and even more casual and dangerous sex.

It really hits home for me cuz my fiance is bipolar and I know what he's been thru with it. ... More
I have bipolar and ontop that Im transgender on testosterone. I crave so much and go through mania's and just madly crave sex. Im poly, yet only have one partner but flirt with everyone else when im extremely manic.
09/14/2011
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Super article on bipolar disorder and how it can destructively cause folks to seek out sex and more sex and even more casual and dangerous sex.

It really hits home for me cuz my fiance is bipolar and I know what he's been thru with it. ... More
Oh wow, this is a really good article!

I am bipolar. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 15. Relationships have always been difficult but my partner has these problems as well so we understand each other.
10/17/2011
sweetcaroline sweetcaroline
brilliant article.
And yeah, I've had a run in with a bipolar young man. My first relationship, actually. He ended up cheating on me, so there's some supporting evidence...
11/10/2011
Lickable Lollie Lickable Lollie
I am bipolar. I was only recently diagnosed with it...but in the past 3 years, my number of partners has increased exponentially. For me it had a lot to do with wanting to feel wanted.
11/10/2011
closed account closed account
I'm a little late on reading this. It's a great article. It would actually be an article to refer loved ones to for some insight. It's important to realize that not all symptoms fit everyone who is bipolar. never assume a partner is going to sleep around due to being bipolar. also don't judge them by their past sexual "escapades". it can be very difficult to gain trust and understanding when you are bipolar. past actions do not predict future behavior. (especially when help is sought through medication and management)

I went on Lamictal (a mood stabilizer) in my 30's. i try not to get upset when I wonder what my life and past could have been if I was treated sooner. I am thankful that someone helped me accept medication as a necessary evil.

anyone who recognizes themselves in this article...please explore your treatment options. it can save your life. due to suicide or other reckless actions, it can be terminal without management.
04/16/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
Really interesting! Thanks!
04/16/2012
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