BUTTER!

Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Do not EVER EVER EVER EVER stick a stick of butter in your vagina! It is not lube!

11/23/2016
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Engaging topic analysis of Butt plugs:

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This is a funny Youtube video that a friend and I got a good laugh out of. Hope you enjoy it. Link

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11/23/2016
Contributor: Lena Eden Lena Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Do not EVER EVER EVER EVER stick a stick of butter in your vagina! It is not lube!

Are you talking about your personal experience?
11/23/2016
Contributor: BlackOrchid BlackOrchid
Lol. Why the whole stick?!?!
11/23/2016
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
Tell me this isn't from a personal experience...
11/23/2016
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Do not EVER EVER EVER EVER stick a stick of butter in your vagina! It is not lube!

LOL Another occupational occurrence?
11/23/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
LOL Another occupational occurrence?
Bloody idiots! Not one but two people came in within minutes of each other and said they had "unintentionally" done it. I'm pretty sure the two were connected but could be wrong, even if they were both looking at each other knowingly, but what people do in their own time and with whom is their own business, but heaven help them if I have to deal with the fallout afterwards, thankfully while I had to triage them, the ED gynecological nurse had to fix them up with just me attending.

A half stick of salted cooking butter is NOT a replacement for lube no matter how desperate you are.

The taste would be awful, the effects painful, the infection afterwards would be deadly.

We are talking permanent cellular decay/death and the inability for the walls of the vagina to regrow EVER. We are talking scar tissue, chemical 2nd/3rd grade. The vagina would never, EVER, be able to stretch without tearing. Raw shea butter may tighten a vaginal cavity but DAIRY is not, NOT,ok. As goes for cream (inside), outside is tasteful, inside if just...

I have had to extract and assist with the extraction of toys (sexual and otherwise), drugs, torn pieces of congealed condoms, broken IUD's and a thousand other things that get stuck up and stuck in that place.

But dealing with melted butter is the most bizarre and dangerous substance to date.

11/24/2016
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Bloody idiots! Not one but two people came in within minutes of each other and said they had "unintentionally" done it. I'm pretty sure the two were connected but could be wrong, even if they were both looking at each other knowingly, ... more
Wow - thanks for the info. I think the first time I heard about this was The Last Tango in Paris when Marlon Brando supposedly used it for anal sex.

Since we use a lot of coconut oil - and have for several years - with no adverse effects - the trouble with butter was totally unknown to me.

THANKS!
11/30/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Wow - thanks for the info. I think the first time I heard about this was The Last Tango in Paris when Marlon Brando supposedly used it for anal sex.

Since we use a lot of coconut oil - and have for several years - with no adverse effects - the ... more
I went and checked the case book and found that across the region this sort of thing happens about once a month but I suspect that a lot more people just go to their doctor and not to the hospital.

I'm not too sure about butter + anal sex? I imagine some potential issues but not as many as vaginal.
12/01/2016
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
I went and checked the case book and found that across the region this sort of thing happens about once a month but I suspect that a lot more people just go to their doctor and not to the hospital.

I'm not too sure about butter + anal sex? ... more
I only like butter on my

No seriously, there's got to be something better lying around the house to use when no lube is around. If really need something,why not saliva
12/03/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
I only like butter on my

No seriously, there's got to be something better lying around the house to use when no lube is around. If really need something,why not saliva
Olive oil, grape seed oil, peanut oil, castor oil.
12/03/2016
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Olive oil, grape seed oil, peanut oil, castor oil.
Ice cream, ice cream ??? Banana ?? (ripe of course)
12/03/2016
Contributor: DancerKittyKat DancerKittyKat
Wow, that is crazy that it is such a recurring problem! I never even thought about using butter. It's my body; I figure buying lube is not a time to pinch pennies.
12/04/2016
Contributor: symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Bloody idiots! Not one but two people came in within minutes of each other and said they had "unintentionally" done it. I'm pretty sure the two were connected but could be wrong, even if they were both looking at each other knowingly, ... more
OUCH!! With the amount of toys I use at once I would count on it stretching, but I never figured it to be at risk with innocent butter! thanks for that.
12/05/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by DancerKittyKat
Wow, that is crazy that it is such a recurring problem! I never even thought about using butter. It's my body; I figure buying lube is not a time to pinch pennies.
Apparently it is so recurring that it has it's own subsection, "Perineum Injury: Foreign Substance Contamination: Butter [Dairy] (not Margarine/Olive/Lard based)"
12/06/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
We build case study reports for dozens of eventualities and while the situation may not ever present itself for everyone (or me ever again), someone eventually gets stuck dealing with it down the track (hopefully different people).

So we have thousands of these contingency documents with protocols for all this stupid stuff.
12/06/2016
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Bloody idiots! Not one but two people came in within minutes of each other and said they had "unintentionally" done it. I'm pretty sure the two were connected but could be wrong, even if they were both looking at each other knowingly, ... more
I can only try to imagine what you have to deal with on a daily basis. Not to mentionm with a straight face. People just don't think the process through sometimes
12/18/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
I can only try to imagine what you have to deal with on a daily basis. Not to mentionm with a straight face. People just don't think the process through sometimes
Keeping a straight face is the easy part. It is filling out the damn paperwork afterwards in a way that makes sense and is not stupid, that's the hard part.

Many a time I have come on and seen things that have been documented in a way that just make me laugh, then I go tease the person who wrote them and finally critique them on how to write them more clinically. Long words make life easy.

Excised 3 inch diameter spherical leather bound object from patients' rectum = Pulled baseball out from an idiots arse.
01/05/2017
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Interestingly I thankfully have not had the displeasure of dealing with someone into ‘Gerbilling‘.
10/25/2018
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Make your Doctor’s (and Nurses) life easier and STOP sticking POWERTOOLS and other DIY VIBRATORS into your body.
08/27/2019
Contributor: Sweetnative Sweetnative
Well thanks for the read with some apparently not so common since advice attached
02/26/2020