Here's an uncomfortable question that will make you think. Dare to answer?

7Miles 7Miles
Oh and if my partner got an STD because they were raped then I would definitely stay with them.
10/22/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
I'm not having children anyway, so it would be no big sacrifice for me to keep on using condoms. I would, however, want to know where he got an STD, and that could definitely make or break it.
11/16/2011
Chirple Chirple
If they kept it a secret and had known, that would be a deal-breaker since that's highly disrespectful, dangerous, and dishonest.

What if a condom breaks or another method fails ? Sure, birth control can prevent pregnancies, but not STDs. There is no way to be 100% "safe" and it would be a violation to me to have someone conceal something that would potentially put me in danger of contracting an STD and giving me no say in it.

I don't want kids, but there are other ways of starting a family. Adoption, surrogates, sperm-donors, et cetera.

I do not think I would expose myself to that, even with "decent" protection. It's not about their history, but about my body. It might be selfish, but I don't know if there could possibly be someone I cared about so much as to expose myself to something like that. In a way, it's a bigger commitment than marriage - you can't divorce an STD that there's no 100% cure for.
11/29/2011
Errant Venture Errant Venture
I'd just wear a condom. We could always use artificial insemination.
11/29/2011
Collogue Collogue
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
So, today at the STD support group we came upon this question:

If your life partner/husband/wife had an STD, and you had never had sex, or never had sex unprotected (which would expose your to the STD) would you sacrifice your body for your ... More
Depends on the context of the STD... I would see if there are options... maybe IVF? screening of sperm? But I wouldn't leave my partner!
12/05/2011
plaidvulva plaidvulva
This far into our relationship, if my partner told me they has an STD, I'd be incredibly upset with them. Unless they've been cheating on me, I should have been the only one they've been with, which means they've kept it from me. Keeping such from me is a majorly dangerous to my own health, not just theirs, which is what makes keeping it a secret for so long a horrible thing.

At the end of the day, I would not leave them if they had an STD, even in the case of keeping it from me for so long. I think our sex life would change greatly, probably relying more on using toys to stimulate each other and less fluid exchanges. But, I love him and we're together until the end, sex or no sex, disease or no disease.
03/08/2012
jesseftm jesseftm
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
So, today at the STD support group we came upon this question:

If your life partner/husband/wife had an STD, and you had never had sex, or never had sex unprotected (which would expose your to the STD) would you sacrifice your body for your ... More
I don't think I understand the question. I'm guessing by "sacrificing your body for your love" you mean have unprotected sex? Maybe because I can't have a baby with my girlfriend simply by having unprotected sex I don't see the whole allure anyway. Plus, there are other ways to have babies besides having unprotected sex, so if whatever disease it was was so bad that you couldn't conceive that way it's not like there are other options. Your question doesn't seem like the STD was a surprise, and that spreading the disease has been prevented up until "this" point through protected sex so I don't get what the big deal is......
03/19/2012
tom fay tom fay
if my boi had aids, i would stay with him. But i would try my hardest not go get it
03/20/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I've seen patients who had chronic STDs like herpes for years and in a few cases decades and never knew what it was. If caught the condition before the relationship with their spouse began, they really couldn't be to blame.

Then there are conditions like Trichamonis, which is considered an STD (because it can be spread by sexual contact) but a virgin can get it, as can someone in a completely monogamous relationship. I remember when we used to have a form letter we gave the husbands of women who had Trich. Mainly it told the men that it was "NOT" an STD, and that their wives had no part in catching this disease. Trich is completely curable, though. But, both members of the couple have to be treated.
03/26/2012
Beck Beck
I would not stay because they lied to me. Either they had the disease and knew about it or the possibility of having it and got into a relationship without telling me anyhow or they cheated on me a contracted the disease. I don't care if they are treatable and if they can be managed, I don't want an STD or STI. I would exclude anyone that has a disease from my sexual life because i don't want to have the disease. I understand that I run the risk of getting a disease when I have unprotected sex with someone and even with condom usage. It can break, then I could be exposed to the disease during our safe sex that is meant to protect me. No, absolutely not. I personally would never marry someone without knowing if they are disease free and without having condomless sex at least once.
03/26/2012
humblepie humblepie
I would mostly be concerned that my partner had felt the need to keep such a serious secret from me for so long! I'd probably also worry and try to remember if we ever had any mishaps that might've resulted in me contracting it from them in the past. But having an STI does not make you a worse person, so I would absolutely love them all the same, and discuss with them what we wanted to do.
03/26/2012
SaraU29 SaraU29
Depressingly scary thoughts!
03/26/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
No. I just...couldn't. Herpes!? No it isn't fatal but I don't want to deal with that annoyance for the rest of my life.
If it wasn't from cheating and was something that WILL clear up with treatment, well then I'd just wait until theirs cleared up.
If someone KNOWS something this important, it is cruel and selfish to not tell the person they are being intimate with.
I don't care how long we have been together if it was cheating. Cheating is one thing (which I doubt I would forgive)but to contract a disease then give it to me from the skank you cheated with?! HELL NO, you're OUT!
03/30/2012
wildorchid wildorchid
It's really hard to comment when I've never been in that situation. Right now I am inclined to say that the potential is there for it to be a deal breaker for me if it were HIV/AIDS or herpes. It is completely possible to have an STI and not be aware until much later in life; so accusing someone of lying would be hard. Treatable disease: I would avoid sexual contact until I know we're both safe, then continue on with things unless the circumstances of contracting said STI was a result of cheating. I truly hope that people would have the decency to lay all the cards on the table before engaging in any risky practices with another individual.
03/30/2012
blixa blixa
It wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me if my partner had any STI, even HIV/AIDS, but the thought of passing that on to our offspring would be too much.
03/30/2012
TexasBrat TexasBrat
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
So, today at the STD support group we came upon this question:

If your life partner/husband/wife had an STD, and you had never had sex, or never had sex unprotected (which would expose your to the STD) would you sacrifice your body for your ... More
I would leave. No matter how long. That's not a thing to keep secret. To have a trusting relationship, there must be complete honesty, especially when it comes to STDs.
04/01/2012
meezerosity meezerosity
I would be upset if someone kept that kind of secret from me. I'd also be scared to contract it.
04/28/2012
Chami Chami
if it was something he had and was honest with me about it yet i would stay with the person i love BUT if he got it by cheating on me o hell no to the curb i would be kickin him
05/07/2012
sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
So, today at the STD support group we came upon this question:

If your life partner/husband/wife had an STD, and you had never had sex, or never had sex unprotected (which would expose your to the STD) would you sacrifice your body for your ... More
It completely depends on the partner, but if they risked my own health without me knowing about the disease that they had I would be extremely upset. Because someone who truly loves you wouldn't compromise your health ever.
05/08/2012
Allison.Wilder Allison.Wilder
If I was lied to for months/years but I was invested and we were married/living together, I'd be angry, hurt and betrayed but I would probably stay.

As far as kids goes, there are safe ways to have children with people that have STDs/STIs that don't necessarily have to include condomless sex.

If ever faced with this, I hope I can react rationally. I would hate to lose someone I loved over what was probably a poor decision years before we ever met.
05/29/2012
Peggi Peggi
A lot of this is situational.

If my partner was honest with me from the start, and I really loved them, I would take any precautions I could to get them treatment and find preventative methods for my contraction of the STD. I would be willing to make the sacrifice, and if we ever decided to have kids, there are options around that, as well! Now, if they didn't tell me up front, I certainly wouldn't trust them to be honest and open about other major issues, and would possibly leave them. I understand that isn't something you tell someone on a first date (unless there is sex on the first date) but it really shouldn't be something that waits for too long!
05/29/2012
Mwar Mwar
Perhaps I'm selfish. I only have one body that I need to treat the best I can until I push the daisies. I may love someone, but they should love me enough to understand why I hold my body as so precious. Marriage may or may not last forever, but I'm stuck with me for forever.
05/29/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I would be very hurt if my husband had one and had kept it from me. I wouldn't let it ruin my marriage, but there would be some feelings of betrayal there. I would be willing to have unprotected sex with him in order to have children if it was a treatable STD. The thought of that scares me, but I've been blessed and don't have to worry about it!
05/29/2012
digit88 digit88
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
So, today at the STD support group we came upon this question:

If your life partner/husband/wife had an STD, and you had never had sex, or never had sex unprotected (which would expose your to the STD) would you sacrifice your body for your ... More
It all depends on the std
05/29/2012
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Not an easy question. I would avoid untreatable diseases even at the cost of not having children.
05/29/2012
hybridinsurge hybridinsurge
My BF has herpes and was honest about it before we had sex for the first time. It worries me but it isn't too big of a deal as we take precautions. If he had lied to me about it, I would have been hurt and distrustful of him in the future. Bad way to be in a relationship.

We do not want children so that is not an issue. If this changed in the future, I think artificial insemination would be safer as far as me not getting infected.

I see no reason why I should intentionally infect myself. That doesn't mean I can't have sex with someone with an STD. There is nothing wrong with having sex with condoms every time. Not only does it protect against STDs, it also protects against pregnancy.
07/16/2012
brevado brevado
That is a deep question.
07/16/2012
HannahPanda HannahPanda
Such an amazing question. I think I'd stay with my partner, no matter what.
07/16/2012
Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
So, today at the STD support group we came upon this question:

If your life partner/husband/wife had an STD, and you had never had sex, or never had sex unprotected (which would expose your to the STD) would you sacrifice your body for your ... More
I would be wondering where on earth he got it, since I have never had sex with anyone else and he said that he had never had sex with anyone else either. So if I found out differently, I would be furious/sad/ and heartbroken.
07/16/2012
gloomybear gloomybear
if i wanted to have children i would definatley adopt or go with other methods that dont involve sex because if the mother contracts an std such as aids then theres a good chance the babe can get it
07/25/2012
Total posts: 88
Unique posters: 84