Ok, brief version: I had told my husband I wanted a baby. Which was a bad decision, but that's not the point here. Last month, we had unprotected sex during the time I was supposed to be ovulating, just to see what would happen. My period was a few days late but I did not get pregnant. Fast forward to today. I did not tell him I changed my mind about the baby thing. We had sex and he came inside. :-( I started crying when it happened. He felt terrible, then I felt terrible for making him feel that way. Anyway, so my last period was Oct. 4th, which means I should be ovulating around the 21st? The reason I am not running out to get Plan B is because I'm terrified of side effects. I don't want to get sick and be sidelined from work because of this. Has anyone used Plan B and can tell me what the experience is like? Also, what do you think I should do...go for it, or let it slide?
Should I get Plan B?
Quote:
Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. I DO want a baby, but not with this man. That's another reason I'm torn. Deep in my heart I want to be pregnant, but I'm sad that it's not the right time.
Originally posted by
Kkay
If you don't want a pregnancy right now, I would personally go with Plan B. Being sidelined from work in the short term is better than dealing with an unwanted pregnancy.
I've taken it and got rather dizzy from it all, but I am sensitive to drugs.
I've taken it and got rather dizzy from it all, but I am sensitive to drugs.
11/18/2011
Plan B only works between I think 3-5 days. It could be shorter. Definitely google this.
Also, it was terrible. It made me insanely sick and I was incredibly emotional and crappy for about a week even though it's only a two-dose medication.
Maybe you should tell him that you want to wait a little longer, but that you DO want a baby? Just tell him that right now it doesn't feel right?
Also, it was terrible. It made me insanely sick and I was incredibly emotional and crappy for about a week even though it's only a two-dose medication.
Maybe you should tell him that you want to wait a little longer, but that you DO want a baby? Just tell him that right now it doesn't feel right?
11/18/2011
Quote:
At 24, you will probably have other chances- and if you want a baby on your own, there are sperm banks. Having a child with someone that you don't want to raise it with, though, is incredibly complicated.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. I DO want a baby, but not with this man. That's another reason I'm torn. Deep in my heart I want to be pregnant, but I'm sad that it's not the right time.
11/18/2011
As others said there's only about a week window when it will be effective.
I've taken it a couple times and never had any adverse reactions to it. The biggest thing I was warned about was nausea, and I was concerned about that as I once took it right before getting on a plane. The pharmacist just told me to take a couple motion-sickness pills ahead of time & I was fine even with the flying.
I'm generally the girl who has the worlds weirdest reactions to things, so I'd say Plan B is not a bad one. It's really just BC pills anyway. So you can anticipate similar symptoms to what you would with the pill, if you know how you react to that.
I hope your situation works out alright and you're able to figure out things a little more. Don't do the kid thing if you're not positive on all levels.
I've taken it a couple times and never had any adverse reactions to it. The biggest thing I was warned about was nausea, and I was concerned about that as I once took it right before getting on a plane. The pharmacist just told me to take a couple motion-sickness pills ahead of time & I was fine even with the flying.
I'm generally the girl who has the worlds weirdest reactions to things, so I'd say Plan B is not a bad one. It's really just BC pills anyway. So you can anticipate similar symptoms to what you would with the pill, if you know how you react to that.
I hope your situation works out alright and you're able to figure out things a little more. Don't do the kid thing if you're not positive on all levels.
11/18/2011
Quote:
That was EXACTLY the situation I was in when I took it. I understand how you feel. I feel a lot better about it, though.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. I DO want a baby, but not with this man. That's another reason I'm torn. Deep in my heart I want to be pregnant, but I'm sad that it's not the right time.
11/18/2011
I understand that not everyone experiences nausea from the morning after pill. It was recommended to me to take a gravol an hour before taking the pill to prevent nausea. I did this and didn't experience any discomfort. I worked the same day and was fine. There's a limited window in which the pill will be effective (is it 72 hours? Less?) So if you're going to do it I'd say go for it before too much time has passed.
11/18/2011
Hi, Thanks to all who responded. It's only been about 36 hours, so I'm OK. I'm planning to talk to my dad (yes, my dad...I have literally no friends and my mom and I aren't close at all) and make my final decision this afternoon.
The other issue which I didn't bring up is that I'm personally very anti-abortion, and this pill is close to it. I'll never know whether the pill just stopped me from ovulating, or if there was a fertilized egg that could have become a baby...and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. The alternative is not good either. I truly don't know what to do, and time is running out soon.
The other issue which I didn't bring up is that I'm personally very anti-abortion, and this pill is close to it. I'll never know whether the pill just stopped me from ovulating, or if there was a fertilized egg that could have become a baby...and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. The alternative is not good either. I truly don't know what to do, and time is running out soon.
11/19/2011
Quote:
cant make ur choice for u but i think u shouldnt use it and be honest with ur husband
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Ok, brief version: I had told my husband I wanted a baby. Which was a bad decision, but that's not the point here. Last month, we had unprotected sex during the time I was supposed to be ovulating, just to see what would happen. My period was a
...
Ok, brief version: I had told my husband I wanted a baby. Which was a bad decision, but that's not the point here. Last month, we had unprotected sex during the time I was supposed to be ovulating, just to see what would happen. My period was a few days late but I did not get pregnant. Fast forward to today. I did not tell him I changed my mind about the baby thing. We had sex and he came inside. :-( I started crying when it happened. He felt terrible, then I felt terrible for making him feel that way. Anyway, so my last period was Oct. 4th, which means I should be ovulating around the 21st? The reason I am not running out to get Plan B is because I'm terrified of side effects. I don't want to get sick and be sidelined from work because of this. Has anyone used Plan B and can tell me what the experience is like? Also, what do you think I should do...go for it, or let it slide?
11/28/2011
uhh... hate to break it to ya, but even if you used it now, it won't work because you're supposed to take it up to seventy two hours later. if you take it afterwards, it won't work at all. It would be a good idea to know how birth control works before you have sex.
i'd like to say that the morning after pill is not at all a form of abortion; it prevents a fertilized egg from attaching to the wall of the uterus; an abortion involves the actual destruction of a fetus.
and it says that you had your period? the plan b didn't do anything, you just weren't pregnant originally.
i'd like to say that the morning after pill is not at all a form of abortion; it prevents a fertilized egg from attaching to the wall of the uterus; an abortion involves the actual destruction of a fetus.
and it says that you had your period? the plan b didn't do anything, you just weren't pregnant originally.
11/28/2011
I'm confused. Did you want to take the Plan B for the sex you had today or yesterday? Or the sex you have nearly a month ago? I'm thinking this is about the sex today? I am sensing a HUGE red flag from this. Honey, you need to get safe and take care of yourself. I think this has been brewing for a while. Please take care of yourself. A pregnancy now could lock you into a situation for the rest of your life with this man, and I am really hearing you don't want that. I'm really worried about you and really feel I'm going out on a limb, but I sense you are in a situation you would be better getting away from.
Plan B is very safe and I've taken it. EVERYTHING makes me nauseous and I was absolutely fine when I took it, NO side effects at all. One of my daughters has also taken it, and had similar experience. No nausea or sickness. (That happens with a drug which has estrogen in it, and Plan B is only Progestin.) It is now ONE pill, you take it and carry on with your day. There should be no excessive bleeding and you may not even bleed until your period is expected. I think my period was exactly the same as it always is when I took Plan B, I had no side effects and I didn't end up pregnant.
However, if this is for the sex you had a month ago, I'm so sorry, but it's too late to take it. You need to take Plan B within 72 hours of the sex that may have caused a pregnancy. It is not an "abortion pill" but it prevents ovulation, but only if you take is as soon after the sex as possible.
Honey, it is so scary to think you may be pregnant and don't want to be. You need to talk to your husband about your needs, and he needs to understand that you don't want to be pregnant. He HAS to abide by your wishes. It's your body. If you feel you can't talk to him about this, it is time to make some decisions..... after you take the Plan B.
I would call a few local pharmacies to see who has it in stock (IF you are talking about the sex you had today) and get the Plan B right away. The sooner you take it the more likely it is to work.
IF you in any way feel scared or anxious about his reaction to your taking the Plan B, (and I hate to have to say this, but working with women for many years causes issues like this to be Red Flags to me) just take the medication and say nothing to him. I am hearing some real anxiety about not only a possibility of a pregnancy, but of his reaction to your own feelings about ownership of YOUR body. Is there a real "at odds" feeling about this whole thing?
You and only you have the right to decide what happens to your body.
Please, be safe and take care of yourself first.
Plan B is very safe and I've taken it. EVERYTHING makes me nauseous and I was absolutely fine when I took it, NO side effects at all. One of my daughters has also taken it, and had similar experience. No nausea or sickness. (That happens with a drug which has estrogen in it, and Plan B is only Progestin.) It is now ONE pill, you take it and carry on with your day. There should be no excessive bleeding and you may not even bleed until your period is expected. I think my period was exactly the same as it always is when I took Plan B, I had no side effects and I didn't end up pregnant.
However, if this is for the sex you had a month ago, I'm so sorry, but it's too late to take it. You need to take Plan B within 72 hours of the sex that may have caused a pregnancy. It is not an "abortion pill" but it prevents ovulation, but only if you take is as soon after the sex as possible.
Honey, it is so scary to think you may be pregnant and don't want to be. You need to talk to your husband about your needs, and he needs to understand that you don't want to be pregnant. He HAS to abide by your wishes. It's your body. If you feel you can't talk to him about this, it is time to make some decisions..... after you take the Plan B.
I would call a few local pharmacies to see who has it in stock (IF you are talking about the sex you had today) and get the Plan B right away. The sooner you take it the more likely it is to work.
IF you in any way feel scared or anxious about his reaction to your taking the Plan B, (and I hate to have to say this, but working with women for many years causes issues like this to be Red Flags to me) just take the medication and say nothing to him. I am hearing some real anxiety about not only a possibility of a pregnancy, but of his reaction to your own feelings about ownership of YOUR body. Is there a real "at odds" feeling about this whole thing?
You and only you have the right to decide what happens to your body.
Please, be safe and take care of yourself first.
11/28/2011
Quote:
I didn't see this until now.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
So, I finally took it after 5 days even though two pharmacists I talked to said it wouldn't be effective. I don't know, but I got my period today. I don't believe in abortion-personally-un der ANY circumstance, so this is a huge relief.
I'm so glad you are not pregnant.
Honey, you have to make some decisions. You said you have no friends, is he responsible for that? Does he isolate you? Are you..... safe?
Jeez, I'm worried about you.
Please get yourself to a safe place. If you need to go to your Dad's house, then GO. Just grab what you can and GO!
Please.
And, FTR, Plan B is not "close to" an abortion. It simply prevents ovulation. Yes, it can make the uterus "hostile" to implantation, but usually it simply stops ovulation for that ONE cycle. Pregnancy is defined by implantation of a fertilized Ovum, so before implantation you cannot be pregnant. It is estimated that at least half (most likely more) of fertilized ovum naturally fail to implant, so this drug only does what the body does naturally.
You didn't do anything wrong. You are taking care of yourself, which you need to continue to do.
Please get safe, sweetheart.
11/28/2011
Quote:
The sex she was talking about in the first post only took place 36 hours before she posted. She was a good candidate for Plan B. The same thing happened last month and she was talking about that, too.
Originally posted by
~LaUr3n~
YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE FOR PLAN B...by a long shot.
The sex that caused the need for Plan B was inside the window of the drug's efficacy.
11/28/2011
Quote:
go pick it up! well, since it's been a week now, it's too late. but for anyone else out there, 3 days is the ideal time to take it within. and yes, this is definitely a good time to take it.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Ok, brief version: I had told my husband I wanted a baby. Which was a bad decision, but that's not the point here. Last month, we had unprotected sex during the time I was supposed to be ovulating, just to see what would happen. My period was a
...
Ok, brief version: I had told my husband I wanted a baby. Which was a bad decision, but that's not the point here. Last month, we had unprotected sex during the time I was supposed to be ovulating, just to see what would happen. My period was a few days late but I did not get pregnant. Fast forward to today. I did not tell him I changed my mind about the baby thing. We had sex and he came inside. :-( I started crying when it happened. He felt terrible, then I felt terrible for making him feel that way. Anyway, so my last period was Oct. 4th, which means I should be ovulating around the 21st? The reason I am not running out to get Plan B is because I'm terrified of side effects. I don't want to get sick and be sidelined from work because of this. Has anyone used Plan B and can tell me what the experience is like? Also, what do you think I should do...go for it, or let it slide?
i've taken it about 3x and had no negative side effects other than nausea. i didnt vomit, just felt like i would. be sure to eat shortly after/around the time of taking it, and that will help ease the nausea.
it's simply a birth control pill in high dose. better to be safe than sorry.
you can get plan B at any planned parenthood center. they'll go on a sliding scale, or it's about $20 if you pay full price.
11/28/2011
Quote:
not with him, but he's your husband? maybe it's time to move on darlin.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. I DO want a baby, but not with this man. That's another reason I'm torn. Deep in my heart I want to be pregnant, but I'm sad that it's not the right time.
11/28/2011
Quote:
the pill is not an abortion pill darling! this is a big misconception. it PREVENTS you from getting pregnant. the sperm can stay in your system for up to several days, and during that time, you can become pregnant. if you take the pill and you ARE pregnant, nothing happens. you're still pregnant.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Hi, Thanks to all who responded. It's only been about 36 hours, so I'm OK. I'm planning to talk to my dad (yes, my dad...I have literally no friends and my mom and I aren't close at all) and make my final decision this afternoon.
...
Hi, Thanks to all who responded. It's only been about 36 hours, so I'm OK. I'm planning to talk to my dad (yes, my dad...I have literally no friends and my mom and I aren't close at all) and make my final decision this afternoon.
The other issue which I didn't bring up is that I'm personally very anti-abortion, and this pill is close to it. I'll never know whether the pill just stopped me from ovulating, or if there was a fertilized egg that could have become a baby...and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. The alternative is not good either. I truly don't know what to do, and time is running out soon.
The other issue which I didn't bring up is that I'm personally very anti-abortion, and this pill is close to it. I'll never know whether the pill just stopped me from ovulating, or if there was a fertilized egg that could have become a baby...and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. The alternative is not good either. I truly don't know what to do, and time is running out soon.
if you take it before you get pregnant, it prevents the sperm from joining your egg. just like a birth control pill. because it IS a BC pill, just in high dosage.
11/28/2011
Quote:
Hi P'Gell, didn't mean to ignore you, I only saw this just now. I appreciate your concern and support. Just to clarify, my husband doesn't isolate me. I've always found it hard to make-and keep-friends. For a long time I fit the criteria for major depression, was on meds for awhile, was hospitalized, the whole mental illness schebang. I don't know if I'm still technically depressed, but I'm certainly not happy with my life. I HAVE made progress, and for that I'm grateful. It takes time.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I didn't see this until now.
I'm so glad you are not pregnant.
Honey, you have to make some decisions. You said you have no friends, is he responsible for that? Does he isolate you? Are you..... safe?
Jeez, I'm ...
I'm so glad you are not pregnant.
Honey, you have to make some decisions. You said you have no friends, is he responsible for that? Does he isolate you? Are you..... safe?
Jeez, I'm ...
I didn't see this until now.
I'm so glad you are not pregnant.
Honey, you have to make some decisions. You said you have no friends, is he responsible for that? Does he isolate you? Are you..... safe?
Jeez, I'm worried about you.
Please get yourself to a safe place. If you need to go to your Dad's house, then GO. Just grab what you can and GO!
Please.
And, FTR, Plan B is not "close to" an abortion. It simply prevents ovulation. Yes, it can make the uterus "hostile" to implantation, but usually it simply stops ovulation for that ONE cycle. Pregnancy is defined by implantation of a fertilized Ovum, so before implantation you cannot be pregnant. It is estimated that at least half (most likely more) of fertilized ovum naturally fail to implant, so this drug only does what the body does naturally.
You didn't do anything wrong. You are taking care of yourself, which you need to continue to do.
Please get safe, sweetheart.
I'm so glad you are not pregnant.
Honey, you have to make some decisions. You said you have no friends, is he responsible for that? Does he isolate you? Are you..... safe?
Jeez, I'm worried about you.
Please get yourself to a safe place. If you need to go to your Dad's house, then GO. Just grab what you can and GO!
Please.
And, FTR, Plan B is not "close to" an abortion. It simply prevents ovulation. Yes, it can make the uterus "hostile" to implantation, but usually it simply stops ovulation for that ONE cycle. Pregnancy is defined by implantation of a fertilized Ovum, so before implantation you cannot be pregnant. It is estimated that at least half (most likely more) of fertilized ovum naturally fail to implant, so this drug only does what the body does naturally.
You didn't do anything wrong. You are taking care of yourself, which you need to continue to do.
Please get safe, sweetheart.
But yeah, he doesn't isolate or restrict me. On the contrary, he's the one who encouraged me to start working at my parents' business so that I can work on my self-confidence. He was supportive about this Plan B thing.....even paid for the medicine. He later told me that he really wanted a baby. I felt so guilty when I heard that (he wasn't saying it in a condescending way, just expressing his feelings, which is fine.)
The reasons that I'm not happy with the relationship (I hesitate to call it a 'marriage') have nothing to do with him being abusive or anything like that. He does get irritable and raise his voice sometimes, but I know that it's a cultural thing. He's not really mean, doesn't call names and has never been violent.
I blame myself just as much as him for this relationship degrading to the level that it has. There was one incident in particular that made me really question his love for me (maybe I'll go into more detail in a PM) but, quite frankly, I knew what I was getting into. He is no better or worse than before I married him.
12/04/2011
Quote:
Not to be preachy, but if that's how you feel about it then you simply should not be having unprotected sex when you aren't 100 percent into having a child in the first place. It's simply not responsible and in your situation as you describe it, I would consider it a high risk self destructive behavior.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Hi, Thanks to all who responded. It's only been about 36 hours, so I'm OK. I'm planning to talk to my dad (yes, my dad...I have literally no friends and my mom and I aren't close at all) and make my final decision this afternoon.
...
Hi, Thanks to all who responded. It's only been about 36 hours, so I'm OK. I'm planning to talk to my dad (yes, my dad...I have literally no friends and my mom and I aren't close at all) and make my final decision this afternoon.
The other issue which I didn't bring up is that I'm personally very anti-abortion, and this pill is close to it. I'll never know whether the pill just stopped me from ovulating, or if there was a fertilized egg that could have become a baby...and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. The alternative is not good either. I truly don't know what to do, and time is running out soon.
The other issue which I didn't bring up is that I'm personally very anti-abortion, and this pill is close to it. I'll never know whether the pill just stopped me from ovulating, or if there was a fertilized egg that could have become a baby...and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. The alternative is not good either. I truly don't know what to do, and time is running out soon.
If you are not happy within your relationship, you need to express that. I don't know what you think marriage is or whether you consider leaving a legitimate option, but if you're unwilling to change your behavior and communicate differently with your spouse and generally change the dynamic of your relationship, and are unwilling to leave, then I don't really feel there is much anyone can do for you.
Good luck with yourself. As PG said, please, do try and take care.
12/04/2011
I HAVE expressed to him that I'm not happy, multiple times. And I'm not self-destructive. We are responsible adults, we both have jobs and a substantial savings, so having a child would not be the end of the world. I already admitted that I am at fault here-marrying someone for the wrong reasons, which I wont go into. This thread is not about what I want to do about my relationship--it's about my conflict about having a baby right now. The issue is resolved now, I wont be trying to get pregnant. Thank you.
12/04/2011
Quote:
I hope things get better for you. I do believe you when you say he isn't any different than before you married him. The thing is, if you know things simply aren't right, I hope you can get free so you can be happy. One of my fears is (despite your saying "having a child wouldn't be the end of the world") is that if you do have a child, you will be bound to him for life. Leaving will be more difficult, and if he has family or is a citizen of an other country.... I don't need to tell you the danger there. Please, get yourself to a safe place, don't wait for the "next time." Please.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Hi P'Gell, didn't mean to ignore you, I only saw this just now. I appreciate your concern and support. Just to clarify, my husband doesn't isolate me. I've always found it hard to make-and keep-friends. For a long time I fit the
...
Hi P'Gell, didn't mean to ignore you, I only saw this just now. I appreciate your concern and support. Just to clarify, my husband doesn't isolate me. I've always found it hard to make-and keep-friends. For a long time I fit the criteria for major depression, was on meds for awhile, was hospitalized, the whole mental illness schebang. I don't know if I'm still technically depressed, but I'm certainly not happy with my life. I HAVE made progress, and for that I'm grateful. It takes time.
But yeah, he doesn't isolate or restrict me. On the contrary, he's the one who encouraged me to start working at my parents' business so that I can work on my self-confidence. He was supportive about this Plan B thing.....even paid for the medicine. He later told me that he really wanted a baby. I felt so guilty when I heard that (he wasn't saying it in a condescending way, just expressing his feelings, which is fine.)
The reasons that I'm not happy with the relationship (I hesitate to call it a 'marriage') have nothing to do with him being abusive or anything like that. He does get irritable and raise his voice sometimes, but I know that it's a cultural thing. He's not really mean, doesn't call names and has never been violent.
I blame myself just as much as him for this relationship degrading to the level that it has. There was one incident in particular that made me really question his love for me (maybe I'll go into more detail in a PM) but, quite frankly, I knew what I was getting into. He is no better or worse than before I married him.
But yeah, he doesn't isolate or restrict me. On the contrary, he's the one who encouraged me to start working at my parents' business so that I can work on my self-confidence. He was supportive about this Plan B thing.....even paid for the medicine. He later told me that he really wanted a baby. I felt so guilty when I heard that (he wasn't saying it in a condescending way, just expressing his feelings, which is fine.)
The reasons that I'm not happy with the relationship (I hesitate to call it a 'marriage') have nothing to do with him being abusive or anything like that. He does get irritable and raise his voice sometimes, but I know that it's a cultural thing. He's not really mean, doesn't call names and has never been violent.
I blame myself just as much as him for this relationship degrading to the level that it has. There was one incident in particular that made me really question his love for me (maybe I'll go into more detail in a PM) but, quite frankly, I knew what I was getting into. He is no better or worse than before I married him.
Blessings.
12/05/2011
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36
Unique posters: 22
Unique posters: 22