Safe words; yes or no?

nori nori
I didn't notice this thread on the front page, so I decided to ask myself. Do you and your partner(s) use safe words? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Mine and my partners is 'lawyer' It snaps the other person out of it preeeeeeeeeeeetty quickly. xD
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes we use them! always
13  (25%)
No we never use them
18  (35%)
We sometimes remember
Situational safe words (bdsm, scenes, etc)
20  (38%)
other! (in the comments!)
1  (2%)
Total votes: 52
Poll is closed
06/16/2012
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AnotherBrother AnotherBrother
I haven't done anything in awhile, but I did use safewords.

Lawyer is a good one. lol! I used Rhubarb.
06/16/2012
Terri69 Terri69
No we don't use them, we know each others tone of voice
06/16/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by nori
I didn't notice this thread on the front page, so I decided to ask myself. Do you and your partner(s) use safe words? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Mine and my partners is 'lawyer' It snaps the other person out of it ... More
Call me crazy, but I never could understand the whole safe word fad. I simply say "OUCH!" Or "No!" Or "Stop." Hell, 90% of the time I only have to make a slight face of pain and he stops and asks "is this hurting?" I mean, even when we play rough--we don't do pain or rape stuff. I was raped so that's just a nasty thing to go into for either of us--but even when playing rough and "do what I say without question, I'm in control" a special word is never needed for us. I don't ever have to tell him no anyways because he doesn't do anything that would cause need for it, but sometimes things hurt or are too rough or I'm not in the mood for being tossed around and I'll simply just change roles I guess. Without having to say much, I'll just say something like "Oh no sir, this is how it's gonna work." If sex is hurting, he usually knows right away, before I can even say "whoa! OUCH!"

I just don't see the safe word thing being necessary for our type of relationship. When something hurts or I don't want to do something, or if I don't like it, I just say it. That's all the "safe word" needed for me.
06/16/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
We don't use them even though we engage in consensual non-consent. If I say "[Name], this really fucking hurts" in a certain tone of voice, he will know that I really want to stop and that I'm not just playing.

He's really attentive to my reactions too and will generally ask how something feels if we're trying a new toy or activity.
06/16/2012
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by nori
I didn't notice this thread on the front page, so I decided to ask myself. Do you and your partner(s) use safe words? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Mine and my partners is 'lawyer' It snaps the other person out of it ... More
we dont have a safe word never had a reason for one but if i ever needed one im sure id yell something lawyer deff is a good one
06/16/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by nori
I didn't notice this thread on the front page, so I decided to ask myself. Do you and your partner(s) use safe words? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Mine and my partners is 'lawyer' It snaps the other person out of it ... More
Yes, we have a safe word.
06/16/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Only if you're doing something risky, and your partner would need to be clear on what meant stop and what meant continue
06/17/2012
pirata pirata
Ours is yoda xD i've never had to use it, he tends to notice when i'm uncomfortable or i just say something isn't working but it's a good back up to have
06/29/2012
sexykiss sexykiss
i say stop
07/04/2012
Danneh Danneh
Safe words are also good for when you can't control your tone/ how you say things.
07/21/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
We use a red/yellow/green safeword system, with red for stop, yellow for slower/gentler, and green for hell yes.
07/23/2012
molly molly
Quote:
Originally posted by thisisadeletedaccount
We use a red/yellow/green safeword system, with red for stop, yellow for slower/gentler, and green for hell yes.
I like this! Safewords are totally necessary in BDSM related stuff. Checking in for consent using non-chosen words (is this ok? does this hurt? do you want this?) is totally necessary in non BDSM related stuff. But they're pretty much the same thing: communication!
08/20/2012
LovelyLady24 LovelyLady24
Quote:
Originally posted by nori
I didn't notice this thread on the front page, so I decided to ask myself. Do you and your partner(s) use safe words? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Mine and my partners is 'lawyer' It snaps the other person out of it ... More
nope not into bondage
08/20/2012
Shadowed Shadowed
Quote:
Originally posted by pirata
Ours is yoda xD i've never had to use it, he tends to notice when i'm uncomfortable or i just say something isn't working but it's a good back up to have
Same here. I've never had to use one of our safe words, but we have them just in case. Sometimes I say 'no' or 'stop' but I don't really mean it, and he can tell that. If I ever do mean it, our safe word is Pineapple.
08/20/2012
Rory Rory
Communication is key!
09/04/2012
Billie Bones Billie Bones
I think safe words are always important. Just because something isn't physically risky boundaries can still be crossed.

My current safe word is Foucault. I'm ready to be disciplined and punished.
09/05/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by nori
I didn't notice this thread on the front page, so I decided to ask myself. Do you and your partner(s) use safe words? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Mine and my partners is 'lawyer' It snaps the other person out of it ... More
We use "time", when I am doing any "teasing" in public, if he or I see anyone coming who might see something. It our signal to "get back to totally discreet" and "upstanding moral citizen" mode. We want to flash each other...NEVER a stranger. NO exhibitionist stuff for us with strangers. With my guy, however, it's another story.

In fact, we were shopping at half past midnight at a local 24 hour supermarket. NO ONE in store shopping but us. I was wearing a short skirt and filmy blouse (it is HOT here) and I made sure to bend over NICE AND FAR to pick up a box of Cheerios's, so he could see I had in a cute little glass plug with a little puffy rabbit tail. (He didn't know I had bought that).

He was "enjoying the view" (and getting hard,no doubt) as he spied a stock boy about to round the isle end. He said "Time", and I immediately dropped into a nice "squat", skirt down and knees tight....nothing but a suburban soccer mom , in her little tennis skirt, picking out her cereal!!!
09/11/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by LovelyLady24
nope not into bondage
Neither are we...not at all, but SAFE words can come in handy for all kinds of other things.
09/11/2012
NymphetamineKiss NymphetamineKiss
With others, yes. With my partner/Master/Daddy no. We've never needed them, and he can tell by a look how I'm doing.

I'm pretty awful at safewording out anyway (read: I never have) so having him around during play even with others if it's going to be serious/heavy is a good idea as he'll know when to call it better than I will - or at least better than my stubbornness will let me!
09/11/2012
Deeder Deeder
While both my husband and I can reasonably agree that "no" or "stop" is good enough a safe word as there is, he seldom listens to me when I say it. We've been trying lately to get me to reach orgasm, but there are times when the vibrations start to hurt, and rather than pulling it off he holds it down and tries to get me to "push through" the pain. So far it hasn't worked.
09/11/2012
SadoMas SadoMas
never used really, enjoying myself too much to remember them lol
10/17/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
I always have them and my partner always double-checks to make sure I'm not in sub-space and am forgetting to use them.
10/17/2012
Nyx (Under the Covers) Nyx (Under the Covers)
I don't currently have a partner, but I definitely use safewords situationally. I actually think it could be great to use them more generally (especially something like the "red-yellow-green" system), because sometimes something just isn't quite working (yellow) and sometimes things need to full-stop (red). Just generally, communication is key!
10/28/2012
sugar&spikes sugar&spikes
we don't really have one. i just say "relax" lol
10/28/2012
NavyDoll87 NavyDoll87
Sometimes we use safewords. It all depends on the situation we're in.
10/28/2012
Genderfree Genderfree
Our yellow word is Spongebob and our safeword is Squidward Tentacles. Enough said.
11/01/2012
bratcat bratcat
always.
01/21/2013
KinkyNicki92 KinkyNicki92
depends, there is no need for a safe word if we are just making love but if we are doing lihgt/moderate bdsm play, then we use red/yellow/green.
01/21/2013
shorejen9 shorejen9
Yes we have a safe word: zucchini. Never used it though.
01/21/2013
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Total posts: 32
Unique posters: 31